I'm being devoured.

This feeling is very obvious, and the whole person is like falling into a swamp, slowly squeezing around. I can do divert my attention, but it's like trying to dig through the swamp around me, it's useless.

For the time being, the moment of planing open, it makes the side feel more relaxed. But the swamp would continue to squeeze against me, slowly, but never change.

It's either a devastating impact, or a slow squeeze, a little breathless but as if there is an illusion of escaping from the ascension.

I was caught by fear, small fear, I was actually worried about the pet of the Empire.

The fear is small, but to be caught is to be caught, and any explanation is whitewashing. I'm still trying to define myself, and I'm still thinking of myself as part of something real.

recognizes the role of Yuan Changwen, so he is unwilling to lose a certain attribute of the role, that is, he is afraid of something happening, so as to damage the character's self-definition.

For example, "I am a person who loves pets", then when I leave the empire, I will be entangled. Of course, now that I'm out of the Empire, I'm afraid that pets are doing well, which fits this self-definition.

And when you recognize this fear, whether you are afraid of fear or convince yourself that everything is your own conjecture, both are acknowledging fear. And by acknowledging fear, we also recognize self-definition, and thus a certain attribute of the role.

It's not that you can't let go, but the role of Yuan Changwen is still alive. It stands to reason that I have nothing to do with the role of Yuan Changwen, and I shouldn't care about any so-called kindness, morality, affection and the like.

And these distortions define the role of Yuan Changwen, because the role must be in some kind of limitation, and those self-definitions are the framework to constitute the role.

To reach the truth, it is necessary to kill the false.

There is only truth, all this is only true, and nothing is more than "real". Is this the so-called "one"?

Truth and falsehood are incompatible because truth is infinite and falsehood is finite. Not both are as limited as Tai Chi black and white. Since truth is infinite, there is nothing but reality.

There are no boundaries to reality, so there is no such thing as reality. And our limitations are like bubbles in the infinite void, like a circle on an infinitely extended white paper.

In this bubble, in this circle, a limited dualistic world is formed.

"I exist" is the infinite void, and the real world is the limitations in the bubble. In this way, objective things must be false, because these are limited. As for how does this limitation arise in infinity? Why does it arise?

I do not know.

From this point of view, the role of Yuan Changwen is really so fake that it can't be more fake. Moreover, it has nothing to do with me. Everything that this limitation bubble produces, how do I know what it is. Just because "I exist" can only perceive the experience of Yuan Changwen's character, I will mistakenly think that I am Yuan Changwen's character.

This is very misleading, and it is also a very subtle design, without this, how can I fully experience the character of Yuan Changwen?

I can think, and it seems that I can be that thought, but I can also be subtly aware of the existence of "that awareness".

Since the role of Yuan Changwen has nothing to do with me, the relevant attributes of the role are meaningless. It seems that the character has a starship and has a social status. But in fact, these possessions are all false.

From the level of limitations, you do have these things, but if you go beyond the level of limitations, you will find that the whole thing, everything in the bubble, is false. And I am "I exist", not Yuan Changwen's role.

Why do you deceive me? Why do you use fear to manipulate me? The distorted ideas in my head keep me voicing and trying to persuade others. The most ridiculous thing is that I will actively seek persuasion from others to replenish my ammunition and then continue to persuade others.

This active approach is called learning.

What the hell am I doing?

How did I survive this life? Think about the days when I could speak up to my friends, talk to my family, and even tell a lot of things on TV that the person concerned couldn't even hear. That's not crazy enough?

Of course, there is no such thing as a real person, whether it is limited or not, I always have a dialogue with my imagination, and I struggle with the data in my head.

People and things belong to my imagination, they are all "I think", all speculations are distorted. As for the existence of objective things, I have no way of knowing, and the limitation is falsehood. What else is true?

Why have I been fighting for this role all my life? I've been manipulated for so many years, and now I can see clearly. What's even more terrifying is that I see clearly but don't want to let go, and I don't even know what I'm grabbing.

There were no companions on this path, and I thought that if the whole world would spit on me, someone would at least be there for me. No encouragement, no need for comfort, just being there for me.

No, that can't happen. It doesn't matter if that person is a parent, a colleague, or a partner, they can't do it. No one knows what's going on inside me, no one knows what I'm killing, and even, the person who accompanies me will eventually be killed.

And at that time, the more you care, the more you deceive. In my mind, that kind of care is a kind of deception that wants to make me fall asleep again, and wants to use emotions and basic human morals to get me back into that twist.

I can't see the truth, I divide something, and I understand things like a madman with my own little brain. Why should I care about what society is like this? Why should I live well? Why do I have to pursue what everyone calls basic necessities?

Who's prescribing the basics, who's judging, who's being qualified?

For a person who wants to die, any rhetoric pales in comparison.

Polite and makes people feel comfortable. All this is just in line with the character's self-definition, the politeness of different regions is completely different, but it is also "to make the other person comfortable". It's just different from the character's self-definition, so it seems cramped or something.

How long will this distortion manipulate me? How much more do I have in my head?

It's bad to swear, it's not good to fight, and it's even worse to kill.

A large group of people approve of it, so I have to comply with it? Has anyone asked me for my opinion? No, none of them. That's how I was forced, and the role of Yuan Changwen was almost unconsciously promoted by society.

How many of those self-definitions are my own nods and say yes?

I don't want this garbage to stay in my head, a pile of shit covering my body, and I'm still showing off the shape and color of the shit.

Look at these people who are fixed, posing in strange poses, do these people really exist, and who can escape the sentence pattern of "I think"?