As the night wore on, I didn't feel sleepy, and I was immersed in the chaotic memories that I couldn't extricate myself, thinking of the swallows, remembering what the teacher had said.

Whether it is family or friends, it is the most important proposition in life.

A harmonious and complete family will make people feel like a spring breeze, a source of happiness, and a safe harbor for the soul. And the most important thing in a family is the relationship between parents, noisy and noisy is a small episode of daily life, plain as a seasoning in water, but a complete separation is a major surgery that hurts the muscles and bones, and the relationship is never just about yourself.

Friends are the most unexpected wealth in a person's life, if there is no need to be self-indulgent, if there is, it is a gift from God, so we should cherish it extraordinarily.

It's a wonderful thing for two people who are not related by blood to connect emotionally. Just like me and Yanzi, although we are not sisters, our hearts resonate and care for each other no less than blood relatives.

The teacher's words let us see another outlook on life, a habit of thinking that is different from the traditional concept of rural areas, which gives us very important life enlightenment, so that we can correctly look at the people and things around us, and objectively treat many things that we cannot understand in the world. At the same time, it also lets us know how important it is to read.

Whether a person's horizons are broadened may stem from the roads he has traveled, the people he has seen, the things he has experienced, and the books he has read.

Thinking of these, I can't help but sigh, feeling the experience of Yanzi, the mutual ignorance of the mockery between classmates and the bitter words of the teacher.

Back to the present, sitting in the middle of the night, I wanted to ignore it, but I began to feel my life, and the emotional road in the future, how to choose. An unpleasant experience has an impact that goes far beyond the event itself. Just like I do today, I was wasting my energy on all kinds of ideas. But because he couldn't get out of the predicament in his heart, he repeatedly took it out and pondered and chewed in various self-persuasions.

This mutual indifference between me and Hadron drowned out my hopes for the future. The love for my daughter makes me feel that it would be irresponsible for my child if I let go at will.

I remembered that when I was pregnant with my daughter not long after I got married, when I learned that I had already conceived a small life in my **, I was ecstatic, and happily jumped on him with tears in my eyes. I told him that he was going to be a dad from today onwards and that I was going to be a standard mom.

First-time motherhood is panicked, not knowing what to do is right, let alone knowing that what will be done will be wrong, and being cautious all day long, walking on thin ice. In addition to going to work on time and completing the corresponding work tasks every day, it is to constantly check the relevant information on the Internet, what kind of food is good for the child's skin, what kind of food can make the child's hair black and shiny, what kind of food can make the baby become smart after eating, etc., etc., tirelessly.

As for the food itself, I used to be only more than 90 pounds, and I completely exerted my subjective initiative, completely ignoring any personal image, letting go of my mouth, and eager to swallow all kinds of nutritious such as meat, fruits, vegetables, grandma, etc., into my stomach.

The moment I ate it, I seemed to have seen these foods fermented in the stomach through stirring, and then turned into some easily absorbed nutrients, and then flowed to ** through the internal circulation of the body, and passed to the umbilical cord waiting for the little him to absorb it. Therefore, after every full meal, my heart is also extremely satisfied, and it seems that I have seen him healthy and strong in my **.

Day after day, my pointed chin was gone, my eyes were smaller, my waist was far beyond the standard of an early pregnant woman, and I even walked with the squeak of rubbing often because there was too much flesh on my thighs. However, with the obsession of providing enough nutrition for my children, my craving for food has never stopped. As a result, I was seriously overweight during childbirth, and I was too weak to even have the strength to give birth, and finally, after several tosses, I had to choose caesarean section. After the operation, although the pain was unbearable, I didn't even have the strength to get up, and I felt like I was cutting the flesh on the belly with a knife without injecting anesthetic. So all kinds of gnashing of teeth and endurance, all kinds of sweat swayed by weakness behind the scenes, and the pictures that once appeared on TV have become real. But these are far from being overcome, and the joy and happiness brought to me by the birth of this new life of my daughter.

What kind of life experience is it to be a first-time mother? My feeling is magical, my heart follows this little life, soft as a ball of white cotton, not mixed with any impurities. Such a small life can't help but arouse pity and responsibility in my heart. Every cry, every smile, and even every little gesture tugged at my nerves. I often can't help it, sometimes sad, sometimes worried, sometimes happy.

Since then, I have also opened up a new understanding of life. She seems to be weak, but she contains a huge amount of energy. Every day she is constantly trying to grow, using her eyes to observe and learn a lot of things and people in the world in this eye, and trying to keep communicating with us, establishing emotional bonds, and giving us different surprises every day.

It was a magical journey, and for a while, Hadron and I were almost completely immersed in the pleasure of observing her. At that time, it seemed that we really became a family, and different blood was fused and flowed in the same veins.

I thought: not only have we cultivated such a new life, but at the same time, this new life is also nourishing our feelings.

If there is a happiest and happiest stage in life, when is the most harmonious time for our husband and wife, it is an unforgettable memory for me.

Now, when my daughter is most dependent on her parents' feelings and needs them the most, should I find my new life according to my own ideas, or continue to work hard to create a safe harbor of happiness for him. For the former, I have a desire, but for the latter, I can't bear it.

My thoughts may be the same as those shared by parents all over the world. If it weren't for extreme helplessness, who would be willing to easily choose to let their children fall into the pain of lack of love for their own selfishness.

Thinking of this, I thought of Yanzi's experience again, I don't know if she fully understood her parents' behavior from the ideological point of view when she grew up, and what kind of impact her parents' divorce experience had on her, I never heard her mention it later. And in order to deliberately avoid such an embarrassing scar, as a friend, I never asked again.

However, judging from her attitude towards her father, her parents' behavior has formed a stalk and buried it in her heart. Now that I think about it, she has been avoiding Yuqiu in the future, and she can't face the boyfriend and girlfriend relationship head-on, maybe it has something to do with it

All I know is that when she is sad, take her hand, take her out for a walk, and lend a little help when she is being ridiculed and bullied by others. I can't help but feel a little regretful, after all, I still cared too little about her during her lifetime, especially the exchange of ideas.

Time flies, what will we be like tomorrow today, who knows? So there are some things that once missed, and you want to make up for it, even if you are sincere, you may not have the opportunity again. And when we make choices, we can only be cautious, otherwise we can only linger in the circle of life with unspeakable regrets, and it is all lamentation when we think about it.

I got up and opened the curtains and sighed softly at the night outside. I thought: There is indeed a lot of helplessness in life. Moving forward with pain may be the dual path we must choose.

Thinking of this, I smiled helplessly at myself, and said to myself: If I am destined to not sleep tonight, I should gladly wait for the dawn with my eyes open. Although what awaits me may be tomorrow's dizziness, tonight I can't stop my literary brilliance because my thoughts are flying. Everything in the world will be lost and gained, and what is gained will also be lost, and the balance of heaven is just.

The figure of the swallow is still dangling in front of my eyes, although her arbitrariness and ignorance have hurt me before, after hearing the news that she is gone, I have chosen to forgive, and the rest is a beautiful friendship, lingering. Beauty is often hidden behind the distance, perhaps, me and Hadron, we are still too close.

Now that he has apologized, should I still insist on not letting go of my obsession, let the whole family be immersed in cold indifference, and let my daughter continue to worry about my happiness? No matter what the reason, since I can't give up, should I face it calmly, bring life back to the normal track, create a better environment for my daughter's physical and mental growth, and give each other a chance to pick up hope for the future? The long road should not be cold and gray, if the sun is willing to shine again, why do I have to hold a big black umbrella above my head?

"Swallow, forgive him?" I asked softly into the darkness of the night outside the window.

The swallow seemed to hear my voice, and said slowly: "Forgive him, don't let the dark clouds of one day block the sun for 365 days, don't let the temporary frost freeze our hands for a whole winter." Time is long, and cherish it, try bravely, and give yourself hope for the future. ”

I smiled slightly, nodded secretly, and remembered the study outside.