How can I die,,, there are very few cars on the road at night, but I don't have the courage to drill, the key in the pocket of my clothes rattled, and I was wearing a folding knife on the key, and I thought of cutting the vein.

I am worried about Ziqing's condition, but I am already relieved, he is born, naturally good, if he leaves first, I just go to accompany him. Where to go, Ziqing's family can't go back, he died there, and his mother won't be able to live in the future. You can't harm others when you die.

There was a small park in the middle of the street, I ran over, a few homeless people were sleeping soundly on the benches, I hid on a bench in the corner, there was a tree next to me just enough to cover me, I took out my knife and began to gesture.

The knife was very sharp, but I couldn't do anything, and every time I picked up the knife and dropped it lightly, it just cut the skin and saw blood, and it quickly solidified again. After tossing for a long time, I made countless deep and shallow cuts, but it didn't work, but my wrist hurt hotly, and I bared my teeth. Zhao Xiaowei, you are such a fool, you can't even die like this. The night wind was blowing, and I was shivering, and I just wanted to solve it quickly and stop suffering so much. I was so ruthless that I slashed hard at the throbbing blood vessel on the left. When the bleeding finally came, I breathed a sigh of relief, and I felt a little dizzy when I saw the blood coming out.

I leaned quietly against the tree, and a lot of pictures appeared in my mind, one by one, like a movie, it would be nice if I could do it all over again in this life, maybe I would be different, but it seems that the fate of step by step is like this, since I can't break free, I'll free myself. I remember when I was a child, I went with my friends to steal plums to eat, and went to fly kites on the causeway, and I was so happy at that time......

In a trance, it seemed that someone was pushing me, shouting loudly, and I only felt that my eyelids were heavy and I didn't want to open them. When I opened my eyes again, I saw the white walls and the hospital bed, and I knew that I was still not dead.

Ziqing stayed by my side, and when he saw me wake up, his blood-red eyes were full of tears, and he touched my hair and cried, "Xiaowei, Xiaowei." "My heart was sad, but there were no tears in my eyes. If you die once, come back and continue to suffer, since God doesn't accept me, it must not be to keep and abuse me. I tried to squeeze out a smile on Ziqing.

After two days in the hospital, I returned to Ziqing's house. It is said that a homeless man found me. It saved me. Ziqing's mother no longer talks to me, and will cook food for Ziqing to serve me every day, but she is still reluctant to see me. I don't know if I can't face it, or I'm afraid that I can't help but say something that stimulates me and kills. I actually want to tell her, Auntie, I can bear your scolding.

Ziqing guards me every day, and wants to talk to me about topics during the day, I see that he is working hard, and most of the time he pretends to sleep by himself. He and I don't have to force it anymore. Two people who would rather die than face it, why are they tied up at this moment?

After resting for about a week, I packed my bags and secretly left T City while Ziqing was at work. Only one letter remained.

Each city leaves me with a different feeling, for Beijing, it is a faint melancholy, for T City, it is a heart-rending pain. For several years, I was afraid of people talking about T City. When I came, it was early summer, and when I left, it was deep winter. Thinking about it now, it is very similar to what the poem says, in the past, I used to be in the willows, and now I come to think about the rain and snow. It's just that he took away the exhaustion of his body and a broken heart that he couldn't peel off again.