Yuan Changwen was frightened by the doctor's words, his hands were clenched tightly, and he seemed to sink his nails into the flesh with such force.

But are these fears given by doctors?

Not.

Just like Yuan Changwen himself understands, no one can bring you any emotions, only you can generate emotions for yourself.

Men, these two words are like "mother", "father's love", "family". It doesn't need much explanation, it contains tens of thousands of definitions on its own.

In the most extreme case, why is it so uncomfortable to be cuckolded?

Putting aside, "How can my wife not be angry and uncomfortable when she sleeps with another man", this kind of meaningless rhetorical question.

What is it that makes the whole thing so hysterical? Even the most generous man will be angry when he encounters the fact that he is green.

Self-woven definition, "My wife cannot, is not allowed, and should not sleep with other men." ”

This definition is so strong and deeply rooted. With this definition, when a cuckold event occurs, it is natural that there will be a strong conflict with reality.

So, what makes this definition?

Responsibility, conventions, morality, and subconscious agreements between husband and wife?

We are married, so the man can't cheat, the woman can't go out of the wall, if there is a violation, then we will quarrel, scold, and even divorce.

If it weren't for these errors of principle, we could have talked about it.

Isn't this just a deal?

Under the banner of "I have paid so much for you, how can you be like this", is it the subtext to say, "I lost money, you did not meet my expectations, I have to pay so much if I pay so much." ”

The injured party began to be angry and began to give examples, "How can I tolerate, how can I accommodate, I can't do what the other party asks, but I still try to agree and want to meet ......"

It seems that they want to be equal, but they actually want to control each other.

Why do you want to control each other?

Because of low self-esteem, because of their own fear.

I am afraid that the other party will not always love me, and I am afraid that the other party will change the object of affection, so I arrange a series of laws and regulations and social morality.

Use these things to stop each other's behavior, and coat the fear in the hearts of the two with a protective film.

It seems that with the protection of the law, you can feel much more at ease.

But no matter what, after all, it is used to hide the fear in the heart.

Then again, why is there fear?

Self-woven definition, "I'm not good enough to deserve it, the world is too realistic and hostile." ”

A deeper definition, "If I don't work hard, I can't succeed, and everyone will look down on me." ”

A deeper definition, "If I don't make some achievements, what's the difference between it and salted fish." ”

The core definition is, "I have to be different, I have to find something to do, and if I don't have something to do, how can I reflect my life!"

Yuan Changwen found that he was the embodiment of fear in his heart, afraid that he would be unknown to everyone, and afraid that no one would pay attention to him.

Even those hermits who see Nanshan leisurely, in the process of retreat, will talk about the world's major affairs, as if they are the ones who know the world best.

Or now those who live in the countryside are also looking forward to the praise of others, "You see, they give up their so-called jobs for their dreams, only do what they like, cherish their time and don't waste their years." ”

Even if you say, "I don't care about other people's eyes", can you really not care?

If you really don't care, do you need to emphasize it?

The deeper meaning of saying it is "I am a special person, you all care about other people's eyes, I don't care." ”

I really don't care, just like every time I go to the toilet, who would emphasize that I go to the men's or women's toilet every time?

As soon as he thought that he would be silent in this society, as if there was no such person as himself at all, Yuan Changwen trembled and was surrounded by intense fear.

So, I'm carrying these fears forward?!

When they got married, they swore that they loved each other, but in the end it turned out to be a mutual transaction.

"If you can't do this, then why am I looking for you?!"

This sentence seems to have become a more common complaint between husband and wife.

Men, in the family, seem to have a natural responsibility to take on heavy responsibilities. If you are just a family cook, you will be more or less despised by others.

And women in the family, it seems that there are also a lot of responsibilities, what used to be a woman only had to take care of the family, now women have to work and take care of the family.

Men are tired, women are tired, and all kinds of articles are flying all over the sky.

What is this doing? Is it worse than miserable?

Again, the "self" wants attention, and it doesn't care what type of attention it is, because just by paying attention to it, it can absorb energy, and it can continue its existence.

Demon!

I tried my best to use the "self" to cover the background, and I was also induced to identify with these self-woven definitions, as if they were all me.

Yuan Changwen yelled: "Demon, you can't fool Yuan Changwen!"

The doctor was stunned for a moment, and then reassured: "Calm down, I'm just asking you what you think of the family, why did any demons suddenly appear?

Yuan Changwen: "I didn't see the demon, but because I didn't see it, it was even more terrifying." ”

Doctor: "What do you mean by that?"

Yuan Changwen: "You think, if that demon appears here, then it means that it can't appear anywhere else." Moreover, it appears, meaning that it has an entity.

Even if it is a phantom, it proves that it has the ability to deceive Yuan Changwen only when the phantom appears. But if it doesn't appear now, it can still deceive Yuan Changwen, doesn't it mean that it can appear in different positions at the same time!"

Doctor: "Well, what did the devil deceive you?"

Yuan Changwen: "Everything, everything Yuan Changwen saw and felt. Except for the truth of 'I exist', the devil cannot deceive. All the rest, is a demonic deception. ”

Doctor: "Hmm...... You haven't answered me yet, if you go to jail, what will happen to your wife and children?"

Yuan Changwen closed his eyes, wanting to feel the sadness, and at the same time firmly nailed himself to the building of "I exist".

But in fact, the sadness at this time is not so strong, far less uncomfortable than before.

Have you already been killed?

No.

Yuan Changwen saw that the building on the desert was dilapidated and crumbling, but it was still standing there.

Emotions are the product of the interaction between self-definition and reality, and reality cannot be changed, so the intensity of self-definition also determines the intensity of emotions.

So, is that an improvement?

"Tut-tut......"

Yuan Changwen suddenly felt funny, no one would think that a man can't shoulder the responsibility of the family, it's a kind of progress!

Society can never agree with such behavior, because it destroys the basic structure of society.

Nor can a woman agree to marry such a man.

Unless, she also admits that all self-woven definitions are false.

Well, she won't control me, and I won't control her. We stop blaming each other or telling each other what you should do.

Because the other party is free to do anything.

However, why should the two be together?

Because we do!

There is no reason to make the best choice by calculating the pros and cons.

The so-called best choice is just the choice to minimize your fear.

And we, fearlessly.

…………

…………

Monitoring room.

"Hey, Xiao Zhang, hard work, hard work. ”

The man called Xiao Zhang is the man with a bald tattoo.

However, at this time, he was cleaning the tattoo on his arm. It wasn't a real tattoo, it was drawn with a sea urchin.

Xiao Zhang changed into a fast hunting suit and suddenly looked extremely handsome.

"That, head ......"

Lao Zhukuai: "What's wrong?

Xiao Zhang: "That, head...... I want to resign......"

Lao Zhukuai: "Why did you suddenly remember to say that you resigned?"

Xiao Zhang: "I think what the man said makes sense, why don't you do it now?"

Lao Catcher: "Are you crazy?!" You go back and think about it first, I don't have time to tell you about this now. ”

Xiao Zhang wanted to argue for a few sentences, but found that there was nothing to say, so he hung his head and left.