Yuan Changwen, why don't you die yet?!

Why are you still sitting and thinking? Still feeling all kinds of emotions here?

Suicide!

Why don't you kill yourself yet?!

You are the "self", the "false self", but a memory is piled up.

I am happy or sad because of you, because of your existence.

Yuan Changwen, why don't you die yet?!

"Ahh

Yuan Changwen sat up abruptly and found himself on the hospital bed. After a while, I gradually realized that I had killed someone in a mental hospital, and then Lao Zhang died.

And the woman, the woman who wanted me to be a consultant, ended up leaving. I don't know if she was fooled by me, or if she is ready to persist next time.

At that time, the woman asked the question that had been swirling in her mind for a long time: "How can I meditate?"

How did Yuan Changwen know that he himself had no experience in meditation, let alone instructing others on this.

It can only speak loudly, behave as an idiot of the question, and use the question to destroy the question instead of giving the answer.

"How can you meditate? Just go and meditate! What kind of problem is this, how can you memorize words? Just memorize it! This kind of question is like an insomniac patient asking you, how can you sleep?"

"How do you answer? How can you sleep? You just sleep! I tell you, before you go to bed, you can take a hot shower and relax. The pillow should not be too hard and not too soft. You can also listen to music before going to bed to relieve tension. ”

"Does it work? Can an insomniac person not lose sleep like this? He will come to you and ask you, and then what? What about after doing this? This kind of question is meaningless. ”

"If insomnia wants to sleep, then go to sleep! If you can't sleep for an hour, then lie down for ten hours! If you can't sleep for ten hours, then lie down for 100 hours!"

"What you really want to ask is, in fact, how do I get into a state of meditation in ten minutes without changing my life, while still singing, eating, sauna, drinking and chatting!"

Thinking about the time when I didn't vomit or feel unhappy, it was really enjoyable.

Killing the definition of self-weaving by himself, the whole person is in sorrow, and it is rare for someone to send it to the door to scold.

But......

Yuan Changwen remembered the dream just now, there was nothing, just a voice roaring: Yuan Changwen, why aren't you dead yet?!

Alas, suicide, the word is easy to say, but it is a bit difficult to find the direction when it is actually done.

Suicide here does not mean slapping the neck with a knife, but if it is only a physical suicide, it is much easier.

The reason why Yuan Changwen became Yuan Changwen, or Yuan Changwen in the eyes of others, is basically that his experience, knowledge, conversation, personality and other comprehensive information over the past 20 years have been piled up.

But these are all false, all of them are "self".

If Yuan Changwen wants to get rid of the pull of emotions, he must kill the definition of self-weaving, and this act of killing "self" is to carry out a suicide mission.

I understand the truth, and I understood it many chapters ago, but this understanding does not mean that I can complete this suicide mission.

Previously, through anger and hatred, I had a more thorough understanding of the definition of self-weaving, and then?

【Further!】

Yuan Changwen also knew this word, and he also wanted to use this word full of magic to motivate himself to continue slashing.

But at the moment, it seems that there is nothing more to kill.

However, he did not wake up, and Yuan Changwen knew that he still needed to move forward.

But they couldn't find a place to take a step.

Moreover, there was a slight sense of relief in his body, as if the killing was over.

[It's not over!]

This is another voice in my head, reminding myself that this is not over yet, stand up and continue to slash!

Even so, Yuan Changwen still couldn't find the next step.

Without hatred and disgust as a driving force, it seems that this is fine now.

Objective things fall within the realm of "indefinable truth", all "self" is false, and I cannot be sure of anything real except "I exist".

That's it, it's over, it's done.

Yuan Changwen knew that he must have overlooked something, but he didn't know what it was, and judging from the current situation, it seemed that everything was over.

[Not yet!farther away!Still in the devil's deception!]

Yes, even if you theoretically know that there should be something that needs to be slashed, but you can't find it, how can you swing a knife and kill it?

Is the problem still with my mother? She still occupies her own influence, and it seems that she thinks about her mother's feelings every time before making something big.

Why do you make your own choices based on whether others are comfortable or not?

Perhaps, the problem is still in money?

Fear of having no money, fear of living a low-cost life. In fact, the most fundamental thing is the fear of being ignored by others. If all the people in the world were struggling to make ends meet, there would be no fear of money at all.

So, still afraid of being ignored?

In other words, fear of the so-called "selflessness"?

It's all "self", and I'm originally that stupid background, and I'm "selfless" in itself. And "self" is based on this "selflessness", weaving various definitions.

Because of this, Yuan Changwen was able to rely on these self-woven definitions and appear alive in this world.

In the beginning, I identify with my own physical body, with objective things in the outside world, and think that they are real. Then, put some effort into something, like toys and the like.

The devil has been deceiving, using fear and various emotions disguised by fear to firmly identify himself with some opinions and ideas. And, don't give any leisure time to think about the nature of this world.

From the beginning of kindergarten, you can't lose at the starting line. There are various interest classes in elementary school, laying the foundation in junior high school, working hard in high school, taking a break from college, and making money to buy a house after graduation, get married and have children.

Then your child can't lose at the starting line......

Who has the heart to explore the so-called reality of the world?

Even if you want to think about yourself, what will the people around you think of you? What if your income is affected by thinking? What should you do when others are making money every day and you are getting nothing?

Demons have at least a million ways to deceive me.

Everyone is like this, what is stupid, what can make money, and all kinds of survival means of "self". When I thought I was striding towards the truth, I was already in a circle of demonic lies.

I'm either awake or not.

It's as simple as that, without any other explanation, it's so neat.

Yuan Changwen sat on the bed, took a deep breath, and began to pray.

Pray that something will come so that you can slash further.

And now, since you're in a good mood, let's enjoy it.

Fear may strike suddenly, and not once or twice.