The next morning, I woke up early, my hand was tightly pulled by Lin Cheng, and I unconsciously turned around, just in front of his quiet sleeping face. The breath tugged gently, and his chest rose and fell slightly. After closing my eyes, I found that Lin Cheng's eyelashes were really long, and even the tips were forked.

He has a pair of eyes that make people jealous. Large, bright, deep with a little starlight, eye-catching.

I silently watched Lin Cheng fall asleep, there were too few quiet and beautiful mornings like this. After we reunited, almost every day we were frowning and squeezing each other, and such a quiet and beautiful time was only available for these two days. I unconsciously raised the corners of my mouth, smiled slightly, and then my heart was pulled by some inexplicable emotion, and I slowly reached out to touch Lin Cheng's face.

Funnily enough, before his hand touched his face, his eyelashes suddenly moved, as if he was awake. I quickly withdrew my hand, and sure enough, he slowly opened his hazy eyes, and said with a little sleepiness, "Morning." ”

My heart was pounding, like I had been caught stealing food, and I was so embarrassed that I died. Fortunately, Lin Cheng didn't know what I was doing, so I pretended to be casual and smiled faintly, "Early." ”

Lin Cheng was a little embarrassed thinking about what happened last night, and his expression was not very natural when he looked at me. I knew what he was thinking at a glance, so I took the initiative to put aside last night's incident, as if it had never happened, and when Lin Cheng wanted to apologize at first, I changed the subject.

"I'm going out today, so I'm going to get up first. ”

I got out of bed and got dressed, Lin Cheng got up, rubbed his eyes on the bed, and said lazily, "Where are you going? Do you want me to send you? or let Uncle Chen follow you." ”

"No, Qin Zeyang will accompany me," I told the truth, I did plan to let Qin Zeyang accompany me, but when I heard Qin Zeyang's name, the expression on Lin Cheng's face was obviously stunned, I put on my clothes in the bathroom, and explained, "Don't think too much, his girlfriend is angry and wants me to go out and go shopping with her girlfriend." The girl came all the way to Nanjing to find him, there was no family and no friends, I was afraid that it would be okay all day long, and it would be good to make friends. I don't have any friends in Nanjing, and I don't want to connect with people from before, so it's rare to have the opportunity to meet new people. ”

Although I am lying, I have never seen who Qin Zeyang's girlfriend is, but the latter words are indeed true. When I was studying, I didn't have many friends, and I dropped out of school in a hurry at that time, and I didn't want to contact my classmates and friends anymore. And the purpose of lying is to reassure Lin Cheng that Qin Zeyang and I have no relationship other than friends.

Lin Cheng's face turned slightly pale, "Oh, that's it." Go ahead, it's not a problem for you to be bored at home all day long, go out for a walk, buy some favorite clothes and stuff like that. I haven't taken you out yet, I'm wearing my old clothes, isn't it a change of season? After speaking, Lin Cheng opened the bedside table, took out a China Merchants Bank card from it and handed it to me. "You know the password. ”

I looked at the bank card in Lin Cheng's hand, and remembered that Zhao Suyun also gave me a card at noon yesterday, and I couldn't help frowning.

"What's wrong?" Lin Cheng asked.

"It's fine. I shook my head and took it aside, "You hurry up, don't you have to go to work? I looked at the clock on the wall and urged, "Hurry, it's a quarter past eight." ”

Lin Cheng struggled for a moment, and then got up as well.

While he was washing, I texted Qin Zeyang and asked him to find a way to accompany me to the hospital today, and I had to do a comprehensive examination. Originally, I wanted to go alone, but I was afraid that something would happen on the way, so I had to pull Qin Zeyang. And I can only pick the time to go to work, otherwise if it is a weekend, Lin Cheng will definitely follow me, which is too inconvenient.

Qin Zeyang replied quickly, a simple word "good", but also a slow righteousness.

"Then I'll wait for you in the hospital. ”

Qin Zeyang replied, "No, I'll pick you up at half past nine." ”

Lin Cheng didn't have time to eat breakfast and left, at that time he just got up looking for a common saying, and when he saw Lin Cheng pulling my hand downstairs, he was naturally full of displeasure, Lin Cheng didn't look at him, he passed by, Zhao Suyun snorted coldly, "You are now with hard wings, what my mother said is all nonsense in your opinion!"

"Mom, everyone is kind, and life can still be lived. Lin Cheng had something to say. He grabbed my hand, "You send me out." ”

I nodded.

Then, Lin Cheng pulled me and walked away side by side in Zhao Suyun's dissatisfied eyes.

I only felt that there was a sharp light behind me, like a sharp sword, trying to pierce my body.

After going out, Uncle Zhao was waiting for Lin Cheng outside, he took my hand, bowed his head slightly, kissed me on the forehead, and said with some concern, "You are home alone, don't say anything to my mother." She has a bad personality, she has been in that place for a long time, her personality has changed a lot, sometimes she says something that she doesn't have, you don't hear it, Wanjing, I know that my mother has a bad temper and speaks badly, so you should be for me, okay, don't worry about her. After a while, we'll move out. ”

"Okay. I know, but I can endure it, but I don't know how far I can endure. "I'll tell you the truth, I can't Zhao Suyun want to kill me, I can still smile, right?

Lin Cheng nodded heavily and said, "Well, I know. But, Wanjing, if she says anything, don't believe it. She is hell-bent on divorcing you, and she can do anything. ”

When he said this, his tone was quite sad. It's like I've seen through something, and I feel disappointed.

"Good. "I promised, and Lin Cheng left with confidence.

When I went back to the house, Wu's mother was cleaning up the table and asked if I still had breakfast. I shook my head and looked at Zhao Suyun on the side, having no appetite at all. Her wheelchair was parked in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, her back to me, the morning light came in through the window, and Zhao Suyun's back was lonely and proud.

I glanced at her, then went upstairs to get my bag, and came downstairs after a while, Qin Zeyang just arrived at the door.

"I have a friend who works in the hospital, and I asked her to help find a reliable doctor, and we will go directly to it in a moment. Qin Zeyang said, "You have been looking much better recently." ”

"In the past two days, I have been in less pain, and I have vomited less, I don't know if this child is angry. "I buried my head and gently stroked my lower abdomen.

"Wanjing, go see the doctor first, and see what the doctor says. Qin Zeyang was a little stunned, even more stunned than me, "However, you should be mentally prepared." I've checked on the Internet, and your current condition is going to require surgery and chemotherapy, so the child definitely can't ask for it. I told you earlier, you have to think that you and Lin Cheng will have a long time to come, and there will be another child. The so-called green mountains are not worried about no firewood. ”

I don't understand what he said? It's just that I have lost a child before, and I am not in good health, so if I ........ it again Even if I survive, I probably won't have any more children. Besides, can I survive? I don't even know how long I can survive such poor physical condition?

If I had to choose between a child and my life, I would rather have a child. Many times, I was in a daze, thinking that I didn't have many days, and I thought, if I can keep my children with Lin Cheng, it will be worth it.

What I have brought to Lin Cheng in my life is very little love, and most of it is pain. If I can leave him a little thought, a little continuation of the bloodline, before I leave, then I will die without regrets. I can't be with him for the rest of my life, so let the child accompany him.

"Well, I know. It depends, Zeyang, I know very well what I want. I think you will definitely support me, you can be said to be my only friend in Nanjing. ”

"Why don't you ask Lin Cheng to come with you?" Qin Zeyang turned his head to look at me as he drove, "He should come." ”

"No, I deliberately picked your time to work, just because I didn't want him to know. There are some things that I will talk about when I think about them, and if I can ask for them, I will tell him. But, what about my illness ........" I looked at Qin Zeyang and begged, "Don't tell him, don't." ”

"Your character ......." Qin Zeyang sighed, "What are you asking me to say about you?"

I smiled playfully and said, "Forget it, don't talk about me." There's nothing I can't get over, I've gotten through anything more uncomfortable than this, what am I worried about?"

"I can't help you. Qin Zeyang also smiled.

After a while, I arrived at the hospital, Qin Zeyang was very intimate, took my ID card to register, found his classmate, contacted the doctor, and we went directly.

Qin Zeyang has great powers, and he found the most authoritative doctor in the hospital to show me. The examination report also came out quickly, and after taking the report, Qin Zeyang accompanied me to see the doctor.

The first thing the doctor said was to ask me, "You're pregnant." ”

I nodded and whispered, "Yes, not three months yet." ”

The doctor was a middle-aged woman, who looked to be in her forties, and the corners of her eyes looked a little stern. Seriously, because of this disease, I often see a doctor, and I am a little scared, no matter what the doctor is, I look at the person in the white coat, and my heart trembles.

"Girl, I'm afraid you're going to be terrible. You took a lot of painkillers during pregnancy, right? It can't be that it doesn't have an effect on the baby. The doctor looked at me seriously and asked seriously, "Do you have any other medicines?" Antibiotics and the like, except for painkillers, you have to tell me what you have taken. Also, you'd better ask the obstetricians, they know a little more than I do. But your illness, I suggest that you have surgery immediately, and then do chemotherapy, this disease is very rare at a young age, don't give up easily!"

"Doctor, I mean to say, without surgery or chemotherapy, do you think I can give birth to this child?" I thought for a moment and raised my head and said bravely.

"You're kidding!" the doctor looked at me, feeling a little angry, "girl, you can't delay this disease, I think you should have found out a long time ago, why don't you have an examination? Don't have surgery? You still ........ today" The doctor frowned, "Don't say you don't know about the advanced stage of stomach cancer, if you don't know, there won't be this kind of special painkiller." ”

So I was silent, my head down, my fingers intertwined.

"Zeyang, what's the matter with your friend? How did you do a friend?" I don't know until now!" The doctor suddenly turned to Qin Zeyang, who had been sitting on the side.

"Mom, I just found out that it didn't take long to ........," Qin Zeyang said stupidly.

"You kids, you're ........."

I looked at Qin Zeyang in astonishment, I'll go, it turned out to be Qin Zeyang.......'s mother? I couldn't help but compare their faces and see that they were really a bit similar.

Qin Zeyang stood up aggrievedly and asked many questions, all of which her mother answered angrily. At last, she looked at me and said in a serious tone, "Girl, go to the obstetrics department and ask." Don't be rash, how beautiful life is, you are so young, why don't you have the will to live at all? Zeyang, you take your friend to the obstetrics department, I will call their director to say hello, you go directly. ”

Thank you Qin Zeyang's mother, we went to the obstetrics department for an examination again, and we did everything we needed, but we couldn't find out what was going on, this is an early pregnancy, and we can't see if the child is deformed.

The doctor looked at the case and asked me, "Have you had a miscarriage before?" It may be Qin Zeyang's relationship with his mother, this doctor is very gentle.

I said yes, and she said, "Do you want it this time?" You are not in good health, the uterine wall is not very thick, you have already done it once, and if you do it again this time, it is a question of whether you can conceive in the future. ”

I hung my head and said, "Thank you, I see." ”

"Do you want it or not?" asked the doctor. Qin Zeyang stood aside, she glanced at it and asked him, "Are you her husband?"

"No, he's my brother. My husband is out of town. I replied. Qin Zeyang frowned slightly.

"If you want this child, remember, be careful with the medication, pregnant women can't take medicine indiscriminately. The doctor said.

"Have you taken painkillers?" I looked at the doctor longingly.

"What painkillers?"

"Stomach cancer. ”

As soon as I said this, the doctor was stunned. Then I called Qin Zeyang and his mother, and after the two talked for a while, she hung up the phone and looked at me solemnly.

"The child is very likely to be deformed, you have to be mentally prepared, you are now in the early trimester, the embryo is not fully developed, and there is no way to check it out. ”

My heart sank, and my whole person fell into a state of disappointment, Qin Zeyang came over and took my hand and gave me some strength.

After being silent for a while, Qin Zeyang asked, "What is the probability of deformity?"

"Sixty percent. ”

After checking it out, I was not well. Pregnant women can't take medicine, I still take so much.

Qin Zeyang thought I was frustrated and annoyed, comforting me while sighing.

Updates are faster

I smiled lightly, "It's okay, it's good news that I can't find it now, it means that there is still a chance, isn't it?"

"Wanjing, who is that stubbornness on your body?" Qin Zeyang looked at me thoughtfully.

"Hehe, maybe it's like my sister. "I took a sip of water and looked out the window, we were on the seventh floor, looking over from the seventh floor, the clouds were light and the wind was light, and the sky was high and the clouds were far away. "My mother said that I was the same as my sister, stubborn and admitted. If you don't hit the south wall, you won't look back, and if you hit the south wall, you won't look back. ”

Then Qin Zeyang and I both laughed.