All the contradictions lie in the cognition of the characters. If there is no cognition, then there will be no contradiction. All the weird things that happen, all the things that don't make sense, will become normal.

Because I don't have any knowledge to judge, and what else is there to say, and what else is there to say? The shit in my head is like, "How is that possible? How can this be?"

Is there anything more nonsense than that Nima is a limitation and a distortion in itself, and tries to make the whole world happen according to his humble understanding?

My worry is not because in my own cognition, I will infer some bad futures. So, why does your own inference happen? Even if it hurts to cut yourself with a knife, this is just a guess.

I'm not going to admit the so-called guessing probability, because probability itself doesn't exist, it's a word that can't be omniscient. Assuming that we can be omniscient and omnipotent, then there will be no probability at all, and everything is inevitable.

Choosing to live according to the twist in your mind is simply torture. I haven't completely shaken off the twist, but I'm getting more and more disgusted with the shit in my head. Because the cognition in the brain is limited, so choose according to the distortion in the brain, there will always be loopholes and worries.

It's all a lie.

The lie built on the false duality of the world allows me to ignore the falsehood of the characters, ignore the falsehood of the world, and not care about that awareness. It's just following the mainstream values of society to live, walking in the world like a zombie, and I don't know what I'm doing.

Even if you break the template role and become a custom character, become a free growth, infinite expansion, play around, not be controlled by other people's values, relaxed and not afraid of life, etc., it is still a fake character.

I'd love to become a custom character, stop there, and start a custom life. But for some reason, I always think and always want to touch the truth. It feels like being squeezed mercilessly, and there is nothing you can do but smash all the falsehoods.

Every time discomfort strikes, he runs like a crazy machine, desperately trying to find a way out. Finally, before the mountain crushed him, he saw through the falsehood, so he was able to relax and enjoy it for a short time. It won't be long before this discomfort comes again.

Now that the intensity of the discomfort is decreasing, I want to declare that I am almost done. It's a pity, who knows?

It's so relaxed that I can't help but want to dance, even listening to the sound of cars running over the ground, I want to dance to the rhythm. I thought it was coming to an end, but maybe I was being controlled by the bewitching woman who was afraid of it, and I didn't know it and was complacent.

It's entirely possible.

Otherwise, why haven't I finished it yet.

This is the best evidence, and any other explanation is a whitewash, an unfounded affirmation.

I wanted to relax and let the flow of life lead me. It's a pity that if you can't do it yourself, the character won't let herself be killed, and will always prove that she is real.

This should be the fundamental setting of the character, a never-ending quest for survival.

All of this can be explained by survival. Moreover, once you stop trying to survive, the character will gradually disappear like a balloon with a leak.

Even if it is a light-hearted character, a person who is indifferent to fame and fortune, or a custom character, it is all a character who is trying to survive. It's just that this kind of survival is suppressed at a very low boundary, instead of being like me used to be, so crazy to flesh out the characters according to the self-definition in my head.

It never stops.

Once the character loses something, it is very painful, as if he is going to die. But when the situation is stronger than others, and you have to lose those things, you are still alive. What is this? Do you scare yourself?

The point is, I have nothing to do with the role of Yuan Changwen. Even, I can't confirm at all whether the character of Yuan Changwen exists as in my memory, and whether I have experienced all kinds of things in my memory.

The character has to die, but the question is, how does the character die?

Oh my God, I guess there's something really wrong with my brain, how do I die? When, that's a problem?

What else I don't think can happen? Or what else I don't want to see?

Mom.

To put it mildly, I'm worried that my mother will worry about my current situation. In fact, I didn't dare to tell my mother about my current situation, what do you say? Your son is about to commit suicide?

The reason for not daring to say is shame. The first person in the dignified empire has now fallen to this point. You see, the use of the word "degraded" itself means that I myself look down on the current situation I am in. So, what can I afford?

Obviously, relatively speaking, it is the glory of the past. Although it is not the pinnacle of the empire, it is still an existence that most people look up to. Moreover, at that time, I showed kindness, friendliness, non-complaining, harmony, and other excellent personality kindness. It's like, put one side of the Rubik's Cube facing outward, and don't care about the confusion of the other sides.

Of course, no one dared to care.

I still identify with the values I once had, I still believe in the distortions in my head, I still think that I have to do something in life, and I still fantasize about going to the top of my life.

In the deepest part, fear the fact that "the character does not exist". Everything is done to flesh out the character, to make the character think that he is real. Once it's confirmed that the character is fake, what are you worried about yet?

Yuan Changwen's face twitched, feeling like a rubber band. One side wants to pull himself back into the past, and the other side wants to touch the truth.

Which side will win?

will not win, because the rubber band does not exist at all, and the characters are fake. Therefore, whether the character kills or the character returns to the distorted state of the past, it is all false and non-existent.

These are all bubbles of that awareness.

It's useless to say this, I still haven't discarded the role, I'm still scared of life. Because how can I think that the characters are fake, that this thinking is fake? It feels like it can't be done at all.

But on the other hand, I clearly understand that awareness is everything. Since it is everything, there is no such thing as "that awareness".

It's hilarious.

Depend on!

Drug addiction!

Yuan Changwen thought of this word again, what is the difference between Nima and drug addiction? Don't drug addicts know that drug use is not good? Don't they know that drug abuse will damage their health? Don't they know that drug abuse will make the whole life fall apart?

However, knowing what to do, I still continue to take drugs.

What's the difference between me and a junkie now, I know that the character is fake, but I still worry about everything about the character.

So, the question becomes, how to quit drugs?