Life is full of contradictions, however, philosophy says that contradictions are the source of the development of things. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 infoSo, contradictions are contradictions......

At that time, I was full of contradictions.

Regarding love, I feel that I loved my family more at that time than I did when I was a child. When I was a child, when I worshipped God, I would only make wishes about my growing up, learning and progressing, and wishing for my aunt and uncle to be healthy. As for the wishes of my grandfather, grandmother and sisters, I never made any wishes when I was a child......

At that time, when I worshipped God, the first wish I made was to wish my grandmother and aunt good health and happiness. Then the sisters were allowed to have a harmonious family and their wishes came true. In the end, I made a wish about my own dreams and marriage.

So, I loved my family more than I did when I was a kid.

Paradoxically, I also felt that I didn't love my family as much as I used to be.

In the past, whenever I encountered an important day for my family, I would choose to write poems or songs to send blessings.

At that time, when I met my family's important day, I simply sent a monotonous blessing.

So, I didn't love my family as much as I used to be.

Do I love my family enough, or do I still just love myself?

As for when I want to return to my country, I think I want to return to my country. Because, at that time, I hadn't eaten the food cooked by my uncle and aunt for a long time, and I missed the taste of home. Second, I really want to meet Arou. Thirdly, Ah Shen was about to go to learn to drive, and I really wanted to go with him. Also, my gut told me it was time for me to go back......

So, I wanted to go back to China at that time.

However, the paradox is that I feel like I have to wait a little longer before I return home. Because, I haven't finished the drawing book yet. Second, I can't do without my help for the time being, and someone has to take over. Thirdly, next month was the rainy season in that country, and I wanted to feel the rain in that country again and reminisce about when I first arrived in that country. Fourth, next month is also the New Year month of that country, and there will be a few days off, and I want to see the scenery again. Also, my reason tells me that I'm going to have to hold on a little longer.

Do I want to go back to China? Or do I really want to put down roots over there?

It was Women's Day, and I sent a simple blessing to my family. There are those who respond to me enthusiastically, those who respond to me lightly, and those who do not...... I don't know what to say about it.

On that Women's Day, I also roughly determined the range of days to return to China, which is from the beginning of May to May 22, 2016.

I'm tired and want to go home and feel love......

Time goes on.

Once upon a time, writing about things was as natural and easy for me as eating a homely meal. But at that time, it always felt so complicated, so difficult, so terrifying, like I wanted to take a risk.

Why did you end up in such a situation? Phew, or maybe you really need to push yourself. Relying too much on escaping ......

It was my cousin Hong's wedding day, but I was far away from there, so I couldn't attend. I wish her to live her life happily and blessedly!

I can't imagine that even my cousin Hong is married, but I am still looking at the sky over there in a daze.

Time flies.

That night, Shanshan, whom I met at my first job, asked me to help her put together a little story. I was surprised that I had no confidence in my own writing. Or rather, I have no confidence in my whole person. It is difficult for a person who does not have confidence to write words with confidence.

What am I doing? Am I belittleing myself? How can I transmit such negative energy?

It's like garbage time in some ball games, which is boring to watch. However, a lot of inner reflection comes from these garbage hours. If you don't feel the darkness deeply, you won't understand the meaning of the light.

I was groping in the deep darkness, groping deep inside, all kinds of uneasiness, all kinds of negative energy.

What does the deepest darkness of the heart desire? Justice, or rebellion?

If you close your eyes, it's not that you can't see anything, and you should still be able to see the darkness.

Is darkness negative energy? Does darkness ruin a person?

However, many plants sprout and grow in the dark, and many animals recuperate in the dark......

Without darkness, can it grow normally?

So, am I advocating for darkness?

No, I just feel that after living in the sun for a long time, I need to seriously think about the meaning of the existence of darkness in the dark.

What's the point of darkness?

Can make you feel like you're alive......

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