How many chapters are there?

Yuan Changwen no longer remembers, since that night, he has embarked on this road of no return.

I asked myself only two questions: "What is real?" and "Who am I?"

The answer to these two questions is the same: "I exist", "Lao Tzu is the background of that fool", "that awareness".

In order to get rid of emotions, Yuan Changwen decided to kill the definition of self-weaving.

After going around and around for so long, I found that I was still deceived by the devil, and I didn't even start at all!

It's like someone who is lost in the jungle and decides to chop down the dense vegetation around them and find a way out. After a long time, I realized that I was holding a cream knife and didn't move a single step.

If killing self-definition is an ideal, then Yuan Changwen has pressed everything on this ideal.

There is no difference with those young people who go to Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou for their dreams, but what everyone pursues is different.

The feeling of disillusionment, everyone understands, the feeling of helplessness, the feeling of being abandoned by the world, needless to say.

But Yuan Changwen's situation is still a little different, if ordinary young people are defeated, they will either take a step back and find a job to settle down, or grit their teeth and continue to persevere.

But Yuan Changwen's ideal must be shattered. Because "pursuing an ideal and thinking what it will be like after achieving it" is itself a self-woven definition.

It contains expectations for the future, but it also conceals the existence of fear.

If Yuan Changwen removes time, then this self-definition will cease to exist.

And want to take a step back, give up these killings, and get back to a normal job...... Yuan Changwen couldn't do it.

The hatred of falsehood made him unable to continue to coax himself and regard his career as the goal of his life.

Further!

Yuan Changwen suddenly came to his senses, haha, it was this word again, reminding him.

Further!

It's a word full of magic and a miracle.

I'm still here, I haven't reached the end yet, how can I be in this position.

Get up and move on.

This self-definition is just one of the tens of millions that need to be killed. There is nothing special, and if there is anything special, then every self-definition is special.

Essentially, they are all self-defined and there is no difference.

Anyway, if you want to clean up the buildings in the desert, who cares if the buildings are Gothic or Chinese?

The reason why it is uncomfortable is just that I have more feelings poured into it. Then again, what self-defined self isn't pouring out their feelings?

For example, "life is about lifelong learning", this self-definition does not have too much emotional injection, and it is very easy to kill.

But like this one, "After killing the self-definition, I will become a perfect person." ”

Yuan Changwen agreed with this definition of self-weaving, although he put it in by himself, he was easily changed by the demon by accident, and then began to mislead himself.

To identify with self-definition is to become a part of self-definition, to think that these things are oneself. When the conflict of reality occurs, then it will bring about a strong emotional conflict.

For example, "A car has been stolen", how much do you feel?

But, "my car was stolen",!

That's normal, right, no one would have an objection.

Because he agrees, he regards himself as himself, and Yuan Changwen is killing these self-definitions.

When he began to kill with hope, but he didn't move forward, Yuan Changwen was punched hard by the demon and knocked to the ground.

Further!

Yuan Changwen stood up, if you don't start, you don't start, it's okay to start at this moment.

This time, he will not be so easily misled by the devil. At this moment, it was no longer Yuan Changwen who stood up.

Even hope has been abandoned, and there is nothing but anger.

I don't want to know what's going to happen next, I'm going to start killing right now.

Don't ask me what contradictions or not, don't ask me what the future holds, I just need to kill at this moment.

Don't look for any slashing method, what efficient slashing angle, "I exist" is a sharp blade.

Don't join any slashing associations, read slashing books, just kill directly.

"Fuck off!"

Yuan Changwen raised his head to the sky and roared, glaring angrily, as if penetrating the wall and reaching the demon body.

Ideal?

Go to the!

I was stupid to carry my ideals around, as if I was so different, "Look, this is my ideal, it's different from you, envy!"

I thought the ideal was myself.

What now?

Having lost my ideals, have I changed?

I haven't changed!

In this case, why should I agree with my own ideals? I will not allow others to infringe upon them, let alone allow the slightest distraction from reality.

So, without this ideal, will I still cling to the next one?

Why do you always have to find an ideal to cling to?

That's right, it's not me, it's the "self" that wants to grasp, it needs to survive.

The "self" cannot exist on its own, it must have something to rely on in order for it to survive. Without anything else, how does the "self" prove the existence of the "self"?

Yuan Changwen calmed down again in an instant, and carefully experienced the residual fear, and the fear at this moment had gradually turned into sorrow.

Even though you know to move on, even though you know that you need to surrender, even though you know that emotions are not you.

But that sorrow still envelops me.

It's not bad, Yuan Changwen smiled, at least he can still be firmly nailed to "I exist".

Let go of control and let things run naturally. Surrender and let emotions run wild.

Emotions that don't follow on their own won't last too long. And because there is no self to follow, that emotion cannot replenish the energy of the "self", and in the end the "self" will be killed.

(I understand the reason, but I can't do it at all!)

[Then practice more, every time an emotion appears, it is an excellent time to practice.] Think about how easy it is to "not surrender" to yourself. 】

[It's not easy to break a habit of more than 20 years in an instant. Anyone who is delusional that they can break a habit in a day or a few weeks is simply believing in another self-definition. 】

(Then there has to be a time, right?Is it too cost-effective to kill all your life?)

[At all costs, there is no hope, only killing. 】

After Yuan Changwen clarified his thoughts, he once again embarked on the road of killing self-definition.

In the past 20 years, I have been accustomed to looking ahead and backward, planning for the future, and fearful imagination of the future.

I'm still wondering if it can be solved quickly and then return to normal life.

Still expecting, without changing too much of the status quo, while killing all self-definition.

This road is not easy, more than 20 years of accumulated self-definition, not to mention the quantity, just the degree of belief is difficult to kill.

Ideal?Hope?

I don't know what it is, I just have anger and madness.

It's one of the things I've done, and so many things have happened before to push me to this point.

There is no doubt about this, there must be a truth that controls all this.

The conditions for slashing self-defined have been met, just waiting for me to swing my sword and hit the road.

I don't believe that all this is just a coincidence, and I don't believe that I will fall into the abyss.

If you really die on this road, then die. I have never lived a sober life in my life, I have been deceived by demons, I have been pulled by emotions, and nothing has been actively chosen by myself.

Now, the truth lies ahead, and I already know that "I exist" is the faint light in the darkness. But for more than 20 years, self-definition has long obscured this faint light.

At this moment, what I have struck is the extra self-definition, that is, anything that obscures "my existence".

Every self-definition is endowed with feelings by itself, and it waits for reality to collide to produce emotions to nurture the "self".

When I see it, I'm going to kill it.

Maybe I can only kill one at a time, or even half of it, then I'll cut it slowly.

It's real, and there's no room for unreal.

Since I can spend more than twenty years shaping these self-definitions, then I can kill you!

Is 20 years enough?

What about forty years?

Even if it's just a glance before I die, my life is worth it.

Further!