Darkness, but also a dark sense of security. Because, weeping in the dark, you can't see ......

Before I started working at MYS, I was so embarrassed that I didn't even have a pair of sneakers, and I didn't have the money to buy them.

Therefore, the basketball shoes I wore to MYS to work after that were bought for me by Xiaoshi. I don't know whether to be happy or not, I should have paid for her to spend, but I have to spend my wife's money to get by, and I always feel very blocked. But at least my wife is willing to buy shoes for me, isn't that a kind of happiness?

I once said to her, "I marry you as a wife to make you happy, not to be sad." ”

But I haven't been able to do it yet......

She also bought me a warm sweater to wear during the night shift at MYS, but before I could save any money, I lost my job due to health problems......

I took leave from Boss Zhang several times, with the foreman, and then with the leaders of several levels, which added up to more than a month, but in the end I still chose to leave myself......

Boss Zhang understood my illness and agreed to my self-departure, chronic nephritis patients can't do too tiring work, and they can't stay up late. But this job is a lot of the time, and it's a double shift. So, for the sake of health, my eighth job in life was so easily gone......

Is it providence? I bowed my head......

The self-departure occurred in early March 2018.

And before I left, there was another mental journey.

The day before Chinese New Year's Eve, after my examination at the central hospital, I was diagnosed with chronic nephritis by the doctor and advised me to be hospitalized immediately, and he would arrange kidney puncture surgery.

When I heard these words, my first feeling was panic. I was a little scared and asked the doctor, "Do I have to have this kidney puncture surgery for this disease?"

The doctor replied very seriously: "Yes, you can't delay this disease, if you let it develop, it will probably cause kidney failure." Because we can't be sure what causes your chronic nephritis right now, we can't prescribe the right medicine. Therefore, it is necessary to find the root cause of chronic nephritis in your body through kidney puncture surgery, so that we can prescribe the right medicine and cure it at one time. You're still young, and you don't want to be dragged out by this illness for the rest of your life, right?"

I also nervously asked, "How much will the whole surgery plus hospitalization cost?"

The doctor thought for a moment and replied, "About 10,000 more." ”

I nodded in disappointment: "Okay, I'll think about it." ”

When I walked out of the hospital, I felt like the sky was heavy, as if it could crush me at any moment......

What should I tell my family? I'm afraid, I don't want to see my family worried and sad because of me......

In particular, it is a small poem that is already pregnant. She was at her parents' side at the time, and she was planning to take the bus back to her hometown together to prepare for the New Year.

Originally, everything was happy, but suddenly it was broken by my "chronic nephritis", and it was still tied to my fortune in 2018......

I comforted myself and thought that I would let my family go back for the Chinese New Year and live in a hospital by myself. Everything will pass. Well, I tried to comfort myself.

But I can't hide it from my family...... They'll always know......

So, I still have to call and talk to them......

As a result, my aunt didn't go back to my hometown for the New Year because of my illness, and Xiaoshi didn't go back to my hometown for the New Year because of my illness......

I don't want them to be upset, but I can't stop them......

By the thirtieth of the Chinese New Year's Eve, I had already prepared the daily necessities needed for hospitalization, and I also went to the hospital, but because the doctor was not there, I did not live there.

Perhaps, it was providence.

On the first day of the Lunar New Year, I, Xiaoshi and my aunt's family went to watch the movie "Monster Hunt 2", and I felt very good, with laughter and tears.

On the second day of the Lunar New Year, we went to see the movie "Operation Red Sea" again, and the scene was very shocking, and we were still in tears after all.

I was moved to watch the movie for two days in a row, which may also indicate that I am going to cry in 2018......

From the third day of the Lunar New Year to the eighth day of the Lunar New Year, I was always waiting for the opportunity to be hospitalized, but every time I went to the hospital, I might not be able to stay due to some factors, such as: the doctor who performed the operation went home for the Chinese New Year, and he didn't come to work so soon to help me transfer to a bigger hospital.

Probably, it's really providence.

So, I never went to the hospital. As a result, I chose to take health products and pay attention to rest to regulate my body, and most of the half a year has passed......

In these days, my heart is full of helplessness......

My pregnant wife went to work to earn money, while I, a big man, had to recuperate in the "heart world...... This is not the life I wanted! I never wanted to live like this!

However, sometimes fate dictates, and I have nothing to do about it.

Many times, in the face of Xiao Shi, I look as if I don't care about anything.

However, in the dark, the tears that were secretly shed can only be understood by yourself.

Sagittarius, too, will have tears of turning around......