But if I don't choose for a long time, my left hand can't be cured, and my right hand can't wake up, and in the end, I probably won't be able to keep both hands.

I'm stuck in a dilemma and don't know what to do,

I'm sorry to save Xiaoxiao, and I don't have the right to transfer the kidneys of the personnel girls to Xiaoxiao, but Xiaoxiao has paid so much for me over the years, as her best friend said, this is my last chance to atone for my sins, if I can't catch it, I want to atone for my sins in the future, I'm afraid it will ......

I raised my head suddenly, just wanted to make a ruthless betrayal of the personnel women, but I saw the personnel women lying on the hospital bed silently, my head was silently lowered, I seem, I am even more sorry for her, she was with me at the beginning, not also with her parents very stiff, if it wasn't for our efforts to recover, I'm afraid now she is still with her parents old and dead,

Now that she is lying on the hospital bed and unable to move, what right do I have to use her kidney to save Xiaoxiao,

Besides, what if she wakes up after a while, when the time comes, I find out that I transplanted her kidney to Xiaoxiao, I can't help but pay her a kidney, I take a deep breath, spit it out, and after calming down, I am determined to find a kidney source that is successfully matched with Xiaoxiao, and I am determined not to use people, I am sorry that she has enough to make a mistake in this matter,

I offer high prices to all kinds of black intermediaries, no matter how they get the kidney source that is successfully matched with Xiaoxiao, I am willing to pay 10 million yuan, a kidney, can buy a suite in downtown Shanghai, plus a luxury car and half a life without worrying about food and clothing, what an attractive condition, those who want to get something for nothing or want to sell their bodies have heard the news, but after countless matching, none of them can be matched with Xiaoxiao successfully

I believe that as long as I am given time, I will be able to find the kidney source that is successfully matched with Xiaoxiao, but the doctor told me that Xiaoxiao's body can't wait forever, and the best time for surgery is in this half month, if it exceeds this half month, the survival rate after kidney transplantation and Xiaoxiao's body will be permanently damaged, and there may be a lot of unnecessary accidents.

The doctor's words made me not know what to do, and I couldn't face Xiaoxiao and the personnel girls, Xiaoxiao but after contacting her best friend many times without success, she asked me when she would be transferred back to Hangzhou, I was in a very bad mood that day, so I asked Xiaoxiao so much that I wanted to go back to Hangzhou, Xiaoxiao nodded eagerly, I didn't know what was going on, and immediately reprimanded her with tears after hearing Xiaoxiao say this:" If you want to go back, you can leave, don't bother me here, I run around every day to find a kidney source for you, but you don't even pay attention to me, Hong Xihua, am I really sorry for you, you left me for four years without saying a word, if I am a little ruthless, what do you care about now?"

The reprimand after my emotional breakdown made Xiaoxiao's face sink gradually, and the girl on the side looked at me with wide eyes, and I wanted to say something, but the girl suddenly jumped out, looked at me angrily and said, "Don't bully your mother,"

Saying that, she went over to hold Xiaoxiao in her arms like a little adult, Xiaoxiao also hugged her, mother and daughter looked at each other speechlessly, Xiaoxiao's eyes were filled with tears, I stood there, I wanted to say sorry to Xiaoxiao, but seeing her like this, I gritted my teeth and still didn't say it, I was very irritable, so I turned around and left her ward, and after lighting a cigarette outside the hospital, I comforted myself and said that I didn't do anything sorry for her, the year she left me, I also looked for her, she hid from me and didn't see me, all this did not blame me,

Thinking about this, before I finished smoking a cigarette, I threw the cigarette butt to the ground suddenly, thinking fuck, what am I angry with my own woman, I didn't protect my own woman, and I fucking want to shirk responsibility, am I still a fucking man, thinking of this, I turned around and walked to the hospital, and when I returned to the ward, Xiaoxiao just put Nannan to sleep, saw me push the door in, Xiaoxiao's eyes were a little cramped, I hesitated, came in and closed the door, walked over and sat in front of her just wanted to speak, Xiaoxiao made a boo and pointed to the Nannan beside him, signaling me to be quiet,

I lowered my voice and said, "I'm sorry, I was too emotional just now,"

Xiaoxiao showed a gentle smile and said to me, "I know you've been helping me, I know what I know,"

I was in a hurry, and immediately asked the doubts in my heart: "Then why do you have to go back to Hangzhou noisily, isn't it better to stay in Shanghai, I will help you find the source of the kidney, give you kidney replacement surgery, and help you cure your disease, although the medical conditions in Hangzhou are not worse than Shanghai, but they are still not as good as Shanghai, and I can help you ...... in Shanghai."

Before I finished speaking, when I saw Xiaoxiao looking at my cramped smile, I realized that I was a little too talkative, and the words in my mouth stopped abruptly.

Both of us were a little embarrassed, the room was so silent that I could hear the faint breathing of the girl, I turned my eyes away, and suddenly remembered the success of the personnel girl, and immediately turned my head and asked with a smile: "Do you want to be cured?"

My eyes are eager, but also hopeful, but also mixed with contradictions, I hope to smile and answer is that I want to cure the disease, but I am also afraid that she will answer like this, if she answers like this, I will not transplant the kidneys of the people to her, in this case, I will not go against what I have said, but if she does not want to cure the disease, I will miss the last chance to save her, if she really dies of illness, I am afraid that I will blame myself for the rest of my life,

Just when I hesitated and looked at the panic in my heart, Xiaoxiao suddenly opened her mouth and called softly: "God,"

"Ah," I raised my head to look at her, but saw that she was looking at me gently, at that moment, I only saw the eyes of the two of us, at the same time welling up crystal tears, looking at me in her eyes, feeling her eyes full of warm love, I couldn't help it anymore, rushed over and hugged her in my arms, holding this woman I had been thinking about for four years, holding my smile, my Hong Xihua, at this moment, I want to be able to turn back time, back to the night she left me, I don't run away, but hold her in my arms like now, give her a warm shoulder that she can rely on,

Tears seeped out of the corners of my eyes, slid down my cheeks to the corners of my mouth, and entered my mouth, I only felt that the lovesick tears of four years of parting were extremely bitter, and I sobbed and said to her: " I miss you so much, I miss you so much, you just left me during the time, I can dream of you every day, dream of you coming back, dream of you leaving, every time I wake up from a dream, I look at the room where we lived, are sweating profusely, and then every time I dream of you, when I wake up the next day, I will be in a daze for a long time, after I married Bai Lu, I also thought about looking for you, but I was afraid, afraid of hurting Bai Lu's heart, so I kept dragging on and did not look for you, but only I know, I can still dream of you, in the dream you stood in front of me wearing the clothes we went to Hangzhou, smiled at me, smiled, you loved to laugh so much, now, all these years, do you still laugh，”

I hugged her, poured out all the words that had been held in my heart for many years, sobbed silently in my arms with a smile, hugged my body with her hands, put her head on my chest, and after a long silence, she nodded silently, as if admitting to me: "Over the years, I only laugh when I think of the days we were together,"

Her words made me feel very distressed, and I cherished the woman in my arms even more.

I never thought that I had a temper tantrum that would let go of my lonely heart for many years, she snuggled in my arms, and after the mood stabilized, she calmly said to me that after she was with me, she had been worried that I cared about her previous experiences, and regretted that she was so ignorant, very traditional in her bones, she originally thought that she had those unruly experiences, I am afraid that I will never find a man who really loves me in this life, but I didn't expect that after meeting me, I would tolerate her so much, but she never thought that when the man came to her, I would be drunk outside, and yelling at her, she was flustered, felt very disappointed and desperate, so, she returned home and did not bring anything, just took some photos of our visit in Hangzhou, and embarked on the southbound railway, that night, she cried on the train heartbreaking, liver and intestines, she said to me, as long as I can appear in front of her immediately, she will definitely go back with me, unfortunately, I didn't know that she would go to Shenzhen at all, as a result of her arrival in Shenzhen, she was seriously ill, fortunately, she has classmates there, can live with classmates, after the illness recovered, Xiaoxiao was completely disappointed in the feelings, she casually entered a company, thinking about the development in ShenzhenAs a result, a month and a half later, she saw that her aunt had not come for a long time, and after going to the hospital to check the blood routine, she was completely dumbfounded.

Pregnancy, the word never seems to appear in Xiaoxiao's dictionary, so, when it appears, she is unprecedentedly flustered, I don't know what to do, in the face of this sudden little life, in the face of this crystallization of love between the two of us, Xiaoxiao is helpless, when she just arrived in Shenzhen, not to mention that there is no place to live, eating every day is a problem, but, she is very traditional in her bones, and she is unwilling to do the kind of hurtful thing about abortion, in this kind of spear and shield psychological condition, her belly is getting bigger and bigger, because she is pregnant without marriage, and is not protected by the law, so her company wants to dismiss her, Fortunately, her boss is a good-hearted woman, and persuaded personnel to transfer her to work behind the scenes, but after she was five months pregnant and her movement began to be inconvenient and her boss resigned, she had no choice but to resign.

After resigning, she will naturally not stay in Shenzhen.

It's just that everyone doesn't know that after she left Shenzhen, she actually went back to Shanghai, and on the day I got married to Bai Lu, she actually went to the wedding scene, and when I learned this, I was almost stunned and terrified to listen to Xiaoxiao and talk about these things I didn't know,-