I finally understood that when Lan Tian dumped Xue Jiazheng, he was obviously so resolute, and he had to cry for a long time, not to mention that I was not resolute. In this world, most of the things that make us cry the most can't escape two things, grievance and loss.

We hope that the beautiful and the things we have can always be the same, and we hope that one day when we open our eyes, the troubles in front of us are all dreams, and we are still living in the best time of our lives, and love is still living when I love him the most and he loves me the most.

But now, we are not happy together, and it seems that neither of us can get what we want from each other. I don't know what those things are, and I don't know what the relationship has gone through from mutual satisfaction to being speechless. It's just that this state is not good, except for the breakup, I can't think of a way to change it for the time being.

Soon after Li Hua left, I began to regret it, and the reason was because of his person and nostalgia for the good things I used to be. But I also know that even if I take back what I said, the rift between us will still exist, so I want to try, try to see what I am and what he is when there is really no Li Hua in life.

If it's really better than now, or if he's going to be happier than he is now, I'm willing.

So after crying enough, I didn't feel too sad anymore. I think before we broke up, he wasn't with me, I was alone, and it was probably the same as now. On the contrary, in some ways, there is less baggage.

I was in the city, and I stayed in this room for two days, Li Hua didn't come back, I only received a text message from Shao Siwei, he said: "Huazi really cares about you, Youyou, you think about it carefully, I don't think you are at the point of breaking up." ”

I cried and replied, "Well, I know. ”

Actually, I don't know anything. I only know that I feel very tired in my heart to continue to be with Li Hua like that. I know I haven't had enough, I haven't tossed enough, I haven't peeled back the veil of glitz and glitz to see what's in there.

After I left the city, I went back to the brokerage company to be criticized and educated by the broker, and the agent was quite tolerant of me, because I didn't admit that I didn't go to that meal because I was worried about the unspoken rules. There are some things that the brokerage company will not cover you, and my plan is to see the move.

I waited a long time for a new job. I didn't take the initiative to go to Li Baitian, I admit that I like him more or less, and this liking has become nothing at all under the psychological influence of losing Li Hua.

I tried to keep myself busy, and for the time being, I met a boy selling flowers on the overpass, thinking of the roses on Women's Day that year, and my brain was dizzy for a while, and I didn't understand how much time had passed.

After a few more soy sauces, the career is still moving forward steadily, in fact, I am already satisfied, I never expect to reach the sky in one step, I just want to rely on my own efforts to gain a foothold in this circle. It doesn't matter if you play a supporting role forever, it's enough to support yourself and save some extra money to face future emergencies.

Li Hua suddenly called me that day, and after we broke up, we didn't change our numbers.

He said: "I saw you on TV today. ”

A few days ago, I was just arranged to participate in an entertainment program, a small station, an inconspicuous little guest.

"It's pretty again. He said.

I smiled, "Some time ago, the company arranged to make a nose." ”

He said, "Well, I see." ”

Regarding microplastic surgery, it is a very normal thing in the circle, and the price of domestic hospitals is not high, and many girls' faces often change back and forth.

"How are you?" I asked.

Him: "It's fine. ”

I asked eventually, "Have you found a girlfriend?"

He thought for a moment and said, "I met a girl recently, and it's not bad." ”

My heart was slightly sour, and I said casually, "Then develop well, and in two years, it will be time to consider getting married." ”

He chuckled, "I still don't think it's enough, let's talk about it." ”

"Hmm. ”

"What about you?"

"It's all good, it's all good. I said.

Li Hua was silent for a while, "That won't bother you, you're busy." ”

"Goodbye. ”

I don't know what Li Hua wanted to say when he called me, maybe he was just missing a little. I miss him occasionally, but mostly just thinking about it passes. I'm lazy, a lot of states are always tired of changing, and I like to resign myself to fate.

This is very bad.

Li Hua said that he met a new girl, which is actually a very normal thing. He is good-looking, a good person, and his family background is good in all aspects. When I said that there were no girls to date, I thought it was lying.

Sometimes I wonder what kind of woman who marries Li Hua in the future, beautiful or mediocre, quiet or lively, smart or dull?

But no matter what, I believe that woman must be gentle with Li Hua, and Li Hua also deserves to be treated gently.

I looked at my nose in the mirror, and this kind of micro-plastic surgery, which is just injected into the face, reshapes the bridge of the nose, and it lasts for one to two years. I don't seem to remember who I used to be, and maybe I haven't changed much.

It's just that now the streets are full of noses like mine, and the company originally asked me to have a pointed chin, but I refused, because Li Baitian said that it felt too dusty and not necessarily better than now.

I smiled in the mirror and noticed that the curvature of my smile was becoming a little more like his. After breaking up with Li Hua for half a year, I developed a good habit of eating one fruit a day and not eating chili peppers.

He said that if you eat more fruits, the baby will be white and tender in the future, and he said that if you eat too much chili, you will definitely have endocrine disorders.

It is always when I really feel lost that I will silently remember those cares I once had, and then remember them repeatedly, never forget them, and then remember that we were very good and good in the past, and I don't remember what the unhappiness before the breakup was.

But things that have been stranded are always difficult to pick up again, just like writing an article, you go to a meal, go to the toilet, and your thoughts are broken, and it is difficult to continue again.

Once again, I was offered a role that was a little weighty, and the director was still unusually happy with me, and then two days after the audition, he called me out to dinner. The words implied consciously or unconsciously that this meal would only be eaten by the two of us.

Okay, I still called Li Baitian, and with the experience of the last time, I didn't dare to do anything that I refused immediately, so I asked Li Baitian to help me inquire about this director. Not long after, Li Baitian called back and said that the director's character was a mess, and almost all the actresses he worked with were spared. I'll see how it goes.

I took Yan Xiaochang to the appointment together, thinking that I would be safe and sound by pulling a shield, and when I finished eating, the director stuffed me with a room card and said, "You can come by yourself or bring your friends." ”

I was so disgusted that I couldn't do it, so I finally went to hand over the room card to the hotel front desk and sent a message to tell the director that the schedule was not suitable, and I couldn't perform this play, which would cause trouble for his old man.

This is a broken director, his character is not good, but he has good ability. After that, I ran a lot of crews, but the audition was never successful, and even the original roles were all replaced.

When the end of the year was approaching, Yan Xiaochang returned to her hometown for the New Year, and I stayed alone in Beijing, with no job and no friends. In my hometown, the sound of firecrackers can be heard almost every day in the days leading up to the Chinese New Year, but the quietness of Beijing makes people calm and lonely.

At night, I sat in the cabin holding my phone and waited for the audition results, and there was no news. I was in a bad mood and couldn't help but call Li Hua.

His voice sounded a little unfamiliar, and he said, "What's wrong?"

I said softly, "I suddenly remembered you and gave you a call." ”

He asked, "Isn't the work going well?"

"No, that's good. ”

"Well, then you come on. ”

Hanging up the phone, I buried my face in my lap and was silent for a while, feeling that the world was dark and that I was powerless to change anything.

The last time I asked about the audition results, one of the people in charge said to me, "To tell you the truth, no one can use you in any group you are in now, so take a different path while you are young." ”

I was on the crowded streets, and for the first time, I felt that there was no suitable corner for me in this place. After this lap, I was almost out of food, gone, my job was gone, my lover I could rely on was gone, and I was gone.

Some people say that since this is the case, why don't you go back to Li Hua's side? Hehe, my Cong You's character, the more like this, the more unlikely it is to go back, even if he comes to beg me, I may not go back.

I'm going to be strong for half my life, and I deserve to suffer for half my life.

The agency said that unless I have a way to become popular overnight, no one can help me. I asked if I could terminate the contract, and they said no, and the company didn't do anything that violated the terms of the contract. This means that I can't do any work that eats openly on my face.

I was depressed for a while, and Li Baitian called me and asked why I hadn't moved lately.

Under normal circumstances, as long as I encounter some good things, I habitually share them with Li Baitian, he always says that I am poor, that I have never seen the world, I don't know how thick the sky is, and there will be more such good things in the future.

I said to Li Baitian, "Is there any way to become popular overnight?"

Li Baitian said: "Yes, tomorrow you will carry gasoline and go to Tiananmen Square to set yourself on fire." ”