It's a lie to say that I'm not nervous, but if it's an ordinary meeting, maybe I'll let go of the baggage in my heart. But now I'm completely frizzy inside. I can't tell where it came from, as if there are thousands of ants gnawing in my heart.

Lu Jingzhong had something to do in the company, so it was Gao Ming who picked me up downstairs.

This is the first time I have seen Gao Ming since returning to C City, Gao Ming looks tall and thin, but as always, he doesn't have a very good face for me, I opened the co-pilot's door and sat in, smiled and said, "Gao Ming, long time no see." ”

Gao Ming let out a faint "um", and stepped on the accelerator in gear.

I asked, "Is Lu Jingzhong busy in Jiage?"

Gao Ming let out a faint "um" again, it was simply carved out of the same mold as Lu Jingzhong.

I know that Gao Ming has a grudge against me, and Lu Jingzhong is an artist he brought out, although it is not entirely for the sake of being famous. It is not an easy task to erase all achievements overnight. After all, there is something to give, and there is always something unwilling to pay if you want to seek the corresponding return, and if you don't get the corresponding return.

The air in the carriage was a little cramped for a while, so I turned on the radio, but who knows, the first song of the music radio station turned on was Lu Jingzhong's famous song, listening to his voice slowly drifting in the carriage, Gao Ming's face in the rearview mirror became more and more ugly.

I simply turned off the radio, looked at Gao Ming and said, "I know, now you just don't like me, so you have to find a way, don't you? Either you park now and I'll take a taxi to the restaurant myself. ”

Gao Ming didn't stop either, and only spoke after a while: "I have no prejudices against you, and the opinions I have about you are all from when I was in the United States before." I listened to what Sister Vivi said, but after I came here and saw you by VI's side, I didn't think you were so bad...... Besides, vi's move was originally a willingness to fight and a willingness to suffer, and I didn't have much to lose, but I just felt that it was not worth it. ”

"In America,......" I paused, "is it bitter?"

Gao Ming said: "At the beginning, Sister Weiwei followed VI all the time, and I didn't go until the later stage, and I always worked in a studio at the beginning. The studio was one of the rented office buildings, and there were only five people in the whole team at the time, and when I went, I left another one. You also know that guns are legal in the United States, and sometimes you will hear gunshots in the middle of the night when you work in an office building, saying that you are not afraid of it for the sake of face, who can not be afraid of guns, and it is not like in China, where it is illegal to carry guns, and in that kind of place, it is simply more difficult to break out of a new world. However, when I really got through those days, I cleared the clouds and saw the sun. ”

My nose was a little sour when I listened to it. I haven't been abroad, but I can imagine it, although Lu Jingzhong never thought of me mentioning it.

I said, "Didn't you say you were trying to figure out a way, can you get back into the public eye?"

"It's more difficult," Gao Ming said, "In fact, it's not impossible, the foundation of VI is there, even if he comes back, what he gives the public should be surprises and fright, as for scandals, every star will have more or less of them, even if you are clean, the fire will burn you." After entering Jiage, VI is now doing work on star packaging, which is actually equivalent to a behind-the-scenes director, and the boss of Jiage is very important to his friend. ”

I heard the implication of Gao Ming's words, "In other words, doesn't he want to start singing and acting again?"

Gao Ming said: "I've knocked on the side, but you also know vi, you can't hit a fart for half a day......"

I couldn't hold back and burst out laughing.

Saying that, the agreed restaurant arrived, and I glanced at the time, eleven fifty-five, not too early and not too late.

Before getting out of the car, I said to Gao Ming: "Thank you for what you did for me, for Lu Maomao, I will do his work." ”

This is the reason why Gao Ming said those words to me, just like what Wei Wei said, some people rely on their faces, but vi is not, he relies on his talent, on his voice.

Therefore, Wei Wei will cherish her talents, and now Gao Ming will start from me and let me convince Lu Jingzhong.

I got out of the car and took a deep breath before walking into the restaurant, putting aside what Gao Ming had said for the time being, and suddenly felt my heart beating so hard that it seemed as if it was completely out of my control.

Step by step, getting closer and closer to the glass door, I felt like a kitten had been drilled into my heart, the cat's paws scratched my heart was itchy and painful, standing in front of the glass door, I suddenly had the idea of retreating, I thought I would either say to Gu Qingcheng, let's meet another day, I think my current state is really not suitable for entering, I want to hold something at hand, I don't have a score in my heart.

Perhaps, this is really the case, the person I want to catch at hand is Lu Jingzhong.

However, Lu Jingzhong is not here now.

I don't know when I developed such a habit, as if I couldn't go on without Lu Jingzhong, relying on one person like this, in Qiao Chu's words, is killing myself, because there is always a time for someone.

I stood alone at the door for a while, and warned myself in my heart: Du Jiayin, no matter what, you have to face it, and this door still has to be opened. No matter if my Lu Jingzhong is by my side or not, he supports me in my heart, and I am not afraid.

"Welcome. ”

The beautiful welcome lady smiled and said to me, and I also smiled and bowed my head, and when I saw the beautiful smile, my heart really felt a little smoother.

This restaurant is relatively high-grade, the environment is very elegant, even in the hall with more people, there is no noise.

A waiter greeted him and asked, "Are you one?"

I said, "I'm looking for someone." ”

The waiter immediately made a clear expression, probably having been entrusted by others: "May I ask if you are Miss Du?"

After receiving my nod of approval, the waiter led me forward, walked to the innermost private room, and gently turned the doorknob for me: "Someone is waiting for you." ”

I said, "Thank you." ”

This is a duplex box, outside is a coffee table and some matching tea sets, and a guzheng, placed in front of the window, to the right, there is a very long and large screen of flowers and birds and cordyceps, blocking the inside of the cave.

I stood in front of the screen and paused, adjusted the smile on my face, and then walked in.

When I saw the three people sitting at the table, I was slightly stunned.

In addition to the two people who should have been there, Lu Jingzhong also ......

Lu Jingzhong smiled and opened the first sentence: "Jiayin, you are late." ”

I immediately understood.

On such an occasion, how could Lu Jingzhong let me deal with it alone? He didn't worry about me, and I did, and Lu Jingzhong couldn't put his mind at ease.

I walked over and sat on the only remaining chair, which was opposite Gu Zhenyu, because I didn't know how to speak, so I sat down directly and didn't speak.

Gu Zhenyu is not much different from what he sees in newspapers and magazines, he wears a pair of glasses, and he looks very Sven, but the traces of time can already be seen on his face, but even now, he is a very attractive middle-aged uncle.

Gu Zhenyu's face was moved, and he called me "Jiayin", but there was no next sentence.

Because I didn't know what to call him, I simply didn't speak, and my heart was a little uncomfortable for a while.

Gu Qingcheng took the lead in breaking this atmosphere, called the waiter to order, and asked me by the way: "Jiayin, do you have any taboos?"

I shook my head, "No." ”

Originally, I just wanted to eat a meal quietly like this, and if no one said anything, then it would be okay, and I should just go through the motions.

Although, the atmosphere was a little awkward, and eating was just a disguise, and the four of them didn't move their chopsticks much.

Suddenly, Gu Zhenyu opened his mouth, and he said, "Jiayin, go home with Dad, okay?"

Family?

I put down my chopsticks and looked at Gu Zhenyu with a smile: "Home? Where is my home? I haven't been at home for more than 20 years, and now if you let me go home, I will have a home?

The more I talked, the more excited I became, my hands were holding the tablecloth, panting a little, tears were already rolling out of my eyes, I don't know which sentence touched the soft place in my heart when I said it, maybe when I was talking about my mother, or when I was talking about home.

Gu Zhenyu also had tears faintly in his eyes, his hand seemed to want to hand me a tissue to wipe his tears, but he was afraid that I would refuse, so he didn't stretch it out in the end, and the expression on his face could be seen that he was restraining an emotion, perhaps similar to the emotion of blood kinship, the emotion of father and daughter.

Lu Jingzhong took my hand and stood up: "I'm sorry, let's go to the bathroom first." ”

Lu Jingzhong's palms are very dry, usually his hands are cold, but this time his hands are dry and warm, wrapping my hands, along the way, through the long corridor, to the safe passage at the end of the corridor, and then push away and pull me in, maybe the safe passage is too quiet, so the footsteps are a little hollow echo.

Lu Jingzhong stopped, pulled my shoulders, and stared into my eyes.

Once Lu Jingzhong asked me with this kind of look, I knew that he was asking me and asking me what I really thought in my heart.

I said, "I thought I was ready, but when I came to the front, I was still out of control, and I don't know why I felt uncomfortable when I heard him speak, and I wanted to cry when I was uncomfortable, and I felt that my brain and mouth were out of control......"

Lu Jingzhong interrupted me: "Jiayin, you are not out of control, you are still not ready, the first time you saw him, you positioned him as your biological father, the biological father who abandoned you, then you will never accept him from the bottom of your heart, thinking that your positioning of him is pushing him outward." Come, Jiayin, listen, I'll ask you two questions, and you can answer them well. ”

I nodded.

Lu Jingzhong wiped the tears from my cheeks with the tip of his thumb and said, "First, do you want to have a father who will really love you? Second, if you want, are you willing to forgive him?"

Of Lu Jingzhong's two questions, the second question is based on the first one.

But if I don't want to, I don't want to have a dad, I don't want to have a whole home, then what am I going to do today?

Not to mention the rise and fall of the Lu family or the hundreds of thousands of millions of contracts related to me, even if the Lu family goes bankrupt tomorrow, it has nothing to do with me, I am just temporarily blessed by the Lu family.

During these few minutes of silence, several frames flew in front of my eyes, like clips from a movie.

When I was in elementary school, my teacher asked me to bring a family photo from home, but I didn't.

In the thirtieth year of the Chinese New Year's Eve, the whole family sat together for Chinese New Year's Eve dinner, but I didn't.

I have never had the warmth of home and the warm memories brought by my parents, but this time, can I really get the so-called warmth?

I raised my eyes, "Then can I know what happened back then, and then choose to forgive or not to forgive?"

Lu Jing nodded again.

After standing for a while, I emptied my brain, calmed my turbulent mind, felt my legs go numb a little, and moved my knees.

Lu Jingzhong asked, "Do you want to go back?"

I nodded, "I'm going back." ”

When I returned to the box this time, it may be that I was sensitive, and I found that the atmosphere in the box was even worse than before Lu Jingzhong pulled me away just now, a little choking gunpowder, I don't know what Gu Qingcheng and Gu Zhenyu were talking about just now.

As soon as I sat down, Gu Zhenyu cast his eyes on me, I met his gaze and said, "Can I know what happened back then?"

Gu Zhenyu paused: "You...... Have you seen your mother?"

I was about to say yes, but at the same time, I heard a unanimous "No." ”

Gu Qingcheng and Lu Zhengyu said at the same time - "No".

I was a little weird for a moment.

But then, Gu Zhenyu's eyes flickered out of the window, and outside the window, a fine golden beam of light spilled in, sprinkled on the carved antique window lattice, and his voice seemed to have deep suppressed feelings.

He said slowly, "Your mother...... I and I were junior high school classmates, but we didn't have a deep impression of each other in the three years of junior high school, and we only sat at the same table once, but at a class reunion after graduating from high school, we met again and sang a song together...... Then, I developed a crush on her, and she also confessed to telling me that when she was in junior high school, she actually had a crush on me for three years...... But then, a lot of things happened, and then your mother got married, and I got married, and there was no contact......"

Gu Zhenyu said very concisely, only such a short minute, but I could hear the helplessness in his words.

Especially the sentence "A lot of things happened in the middle", I know that it is definitely not something that can be summed up in one sentence, the road at that time must have gone a long way, and it was very difficult, but both of them still chose to give up.

Suddenly, Gu Qingcheng sneered: "Since you still have true love in your heart, then what is my mother?" Okay, since you said that something happened in the middle of beating mandarin ducks, okay, after you all got married, that is to say, you all came out of marriage, and then you had my half-sister?!"

When Gu Qingcheng said these words, I felt that in fact, he had some hatred for me in his heart, although he had been helping me, but I always felt that for the daughter of the woman who had caused his parents to divorce, the stone in his heart could not be easily put down.

However, Gu Qingcheng's feeling for me, I clearly felt as if I was an older brother.

Is it my delusion?

Gu Zhenyu continued: "It was my fault at that time, and it has nothing to do with Manru!

Manru ...... Tuan Guang Yu blood.

That's my mom's name?

Maybe I'm too focused right now to stick to the name.

Gu Qingcheng said: "I didn't bother them, she took the initiative to find me and asked me where the daughter she threw away is now." ”

"What do you say?!"

At this moment, I saw nervousness on Gu Zhenyu's face, which I hadn't seen on his face since I entered the box, and I was even a little flustered.

Gu Qingcheng said: "I said dead, a baby girl who was just born in swaddling clothes, less than a full moon, just past the cold winter, you are distressed now, then why didn't you think of the consequences when you sent it out?!"

This sentence, I don't know what kind of impact it had on Gu Zhenyu, in short, it stabbed hard in my heart, and a picture seemed to appear in my eyes, a dark night, a person holding a baby girl, hurriedly sent it to a person, and then gave him a sum of money, and since then, the contact has been cut off.

The dark night, the confused black moon, accompanied by the heart-rending cry of the baby.

Why, how can these people be ruthless, watch their children go out to others, and watch this child open his eyes and call other people's parents......

"Jiayin!"

A second before I became unconscious, I heard Lu Jingzhong's voice.

Then, there was darkness.

In the darkness, a bright light suddenly appeared.

In the bright light, a figure walked over, I could see that it was a woman, but it was only a black figure, I couldn't see her face, her voice was very soft, as if it was the sound of heaven on the horizon.

She said, "Son, call me Mommy." ”

As if I was out of control, I called "Mommy".

The woman chuckled softly: "Look, you can call me Mom, and you must be able to recognize your dad......"

I pursed my lips and didn't speak.

The woman continued: "At that time, it was my own idea to send you away, and your father was ...... I don't know at all, otherwise I wouldn't have found a girl who wasn't his daughter at all in the process of recovering you, and I helped others raise her for more than 20 years......"

Now, listening to this woman say these words, my heart suddenly calmed down, and there were no more turbulent waves.

I asked, "Then why are you...... Do you want to do that?"

For a long, long time, she didn't speak again, and I wanted to turn around and see this woman's face, but she suddenly disappeared, leaving only a voice: "Because I did wrong, I have to pay for it." ”

Then I felt as if the ground had collapsed, and I fell into the cliff, the bottomless cliff, and I shouted, "Ahhh

Then, I heard a very clear voice: "I'm here, Jiayin, wake up, I'm Lu Jingzhong, I'm Maomao." ”

His voice seemed to have a stabilizing power, and I escaped from the whirlpool of struggle almost instantly.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Lu Jingzhong's face.

Lu Jing brushed away my sweaty hair and said, "Jiayin, you're having a nightmare." ”

I shook my head, "No, I met my mom." ”

Lu Jingzhong's hand paused, "And then?"

I said, "I didn't see her face, but I heard her voice, it was very sweet, and she said it was all her fault, and I didn't blame him." ”

Lu Jingzhong and I both know each other well and know who this "he" refers to.

Because I haven't figured out how to call him yet, it would be disrespectful to call him by name, and it would be too distant to call Mr. Gu, so I call him Dad...... I didn't think about it at all.

Lu Jingzhong poured me a glass of water, and when I was helped to drink water, I saw that it was in a hotel room, and I could see it from the hotel number plate I saw.

He explained: "There's a hotel next to the restaurant, so I'll just pick you up. I've already called my mother, he went to pick up the ice cream, and if she was hungry, my mother would make her milk powder to drink, you don't have to think about anything, just rest here. ”

I nodded, leaning on Lu Jingzhong's chest, listening to his powerful heartbeat.

"Hungry?"

I shook my head: "No, no......"

However, the word "hungry" was still stuck in his throat, and he was interrupted by an extremely loud grunt in his stomach.

Sensing that Lu Jingzhong wanted to get up, I hurriedly grabbed his arm: "Don't leave yet, I'll go shopping and eat later, I don't have an appetite now." ”

Lu Jingzhong really stopped moving, and let me hold his arm, pressed against his chest, and I could even hear his steady breathing.

After a while, Lu Jingzhong's mobile phone rang, and from my angle, I could just see a name "Gu Zhenyu" appearing on the screen of his mobile phone.

Lu Jingzhong answered the phone, because I was pillowing on his chest, and naturally I could hear the leakage of the phone.

On the other side of the phone, Gu Zhenyu asked, "How is Jiayin?"

Lu Jingzhong said: "I've woken up. ”

Gu Zhenyu said: "Then I'm relieved...... As for the contract, my assistant has already negotiated with your President Lu and supports it unconditionally. ”

I know, because Gu Zhenyu is a bank entrepreneur, his family runs a bank, and he can get any money.

Finally, I heard Gu Zhenyu say, "I'm waiting below, waiting for her to sleep...... I want to go up and see her again, I've already bought my ticket......"

I just said, "Let him come up now." ”

From the window of the hotel, it was a silent pitch black, and it turned out that I had slept all afternoon from noon to night.

The doorbell of the hotel suite rang, Lu Jingzhong went to open the door, and I sat on the edge of the bed peacefully, my legs hanging down, and my eyelids were lowered.

A moment later, in my field of vision, a pair of black leather shoes appeared, and the hem of the trousers was ironed.

I slowly raised my head along the trouser legs, looking at the seemingly proud middle-aged man in front of me, but now he had become gray-headed, and I felt that all the harsh words that came to my lips had been swallowed, and I couldn't find a word to say.

Gu Zhenyu squatted down on his knees, stretched out his hand to grab me, paused, and noticed that I didn't resist, so he finally held my hand.

His hands were not hot, and he could feel a thick layer of calluses on his palms and fingertips.

"Child, I'm sorry for you, and I'm sorry for your mother......"

Hearing his words, my eyes were astringent, but maybe it was because I cried a lot at noon, and now my eyes are just sour, but I haven't been able to shed a single tear.

Gu Zhenyu said: "Child, in the future, Dad will be good to you...... If you don't want to recognize me as a father, I'm not reluctant, really not reluctant, it's all my fault that our generation has made sins, let you bear it for me...... However, I will make amends, make amends for the sins you have suffered out there for more than 20 years...... But if you ask me who your mom is, I still can't tell you...... I don't want to disturb her peaceful life anymore, I'm divorced after all, but your mother now has children and a complete home, so I ......"

I know how rare it is to say sorry as a man, as a man who has lived half his life.

If I used to resent him and hated him, now those hatreds have subsided a little.

At this time, a voice suddenly came from the door: "Mr. Gu, we are about to miss the flight." ”

Gu Zhenyu let go of my hand and asked, "Jiayin, can you call me Dad?"