Because of the hurry, my parents' transit visa in Dubai is only valid for 96 hours. In just four days, most of them were consumed in the hospital. I took a few days off work to devote myself to them and let them stay with me.

It was a long, long time before I learned that my father's syncope had been planned for a long time. Although there was deception, at that time, he was also really exhausted and cramped, so what he said to me later was also true and tearful, without the slightest adulteration.

I didn't blame him, not at all. It's as if I knew there would be this day, and I knew that this was the right path. There are so many treacherous changes in this ordinary world, how can the shaky identity of 'desire' support fragile feelings? Mousa and I seem to have been trying, but we are always two headless flies, not knowing where to go. We are all compromising for love, however, neither side has compromised enough.

Four days later, I dropped my parents off from Dubai. Seeing the 'flower' white of their sideburns was like a thin string cutting my heart fiercely. Watching their backs as they left, it wasn't until the corners of my clothes completely disappeared around the corner of the security check that I came back to my senses, dragged my heavy steps, and walked on the return journey with difficulty.

This time, I was really tired and determined to leave this deformed love relationship.

The first encounter is always the best, and it is a period of hope. Even though there are taboos and precepts, they can never stop the two young hearts from approaching. Eventually, we were left with the test of cruel reality. Scarred and struggling with each other. I think of Musa's face in the "shisha courtyard", he is also very hard, so when I proposed to separate, he did not say a word, and still has not.

We broke up when our hearts hurt the most, leaving each other with one scar after another that will not heal. This is undoubtedly a huge regret, and I may not be able to let go of it for the rest of my life.

The only good thing is that as the graduate program gradually came to an end, I went to the classroom less and less, and spent most of my time doing project research for Professor Emmedin. However, even when I went to the classroom, I rarely saw Mouses. He was either absent from class, or he came and walked by the bell of class, and by the time I slowly packed up my things in the front row and turned back, he was long gone.

We agreed to stagger the time of meeting in this way, but he must have worked harder than I did. Because I don't have to see him, and he always has to catch a glimpse of my back in class, it must be a heartache.

During these days, the one who accompanies me the most is Lian Pian, followed by Yun Yushu.

"I'm sorry, I didn't expect her to be in touch with your family. "Yun Yushu already knew that my parents were called by Lin Yue, and he apologized to me repeatedly.

"I can't blame you, sooner or later there will be such a day. I said, "As for Lin Yue, I won't contact her anymore, how far can I hide." ”

"I'm like this now, Lin Yue looked for me a few times later, but I really didn't want to see her. Yun Yushu sneered slightly, as if he didn't want to talk about this topic anymore. After a while, as if he remembered something, he turned his gaze to me and said, "By the way, Yin Qianyan and Yan Hua are getting married." ”

"Ah?" remembered how struggled Yin Qianyan and her husband divorced, but in the blink of an eye, they actually achieved a positive result. Sighing, I can't help but think of me and Musa, when the two pairs were broken at the same time, but now, they are holding hands, and Mousa and I are going our separate ways.

"Are they going to have a wedding banquet in Dubai?" I asked Yun Yushu.

"Of course not, we all know about them, how can we be embarrassed. Yun Yushu said, "They just told us that they would hold a small wedding in China, so that we could return to China to participate when we were free." It's funny, who has nothing to do to go back to the country for their wedding and not reimbursement. ”

I laughed twice in line with his words, and the thought came back again without warning. Without my presence, Muses should have been able to treat her wife well, right? George is gone, and Remis should be able to calm down and devote herself to Musa, right? Maybe it will not be long before I receive the news that they have given birth to a precious son, and I hope that at that time, I will be able to accept the reality more calmly.

That's how I imagined it sadly, but I never expected that reality was sadder than I imagined.

I'm pregnant.

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Hearing this, Singh laughed twice, looked down at the shape of the rock in the microscope, and regained his concentration again.

A week after the start of the school year, the school outings began to be registered, and the venue was in Ain.

Al Ain is the largest oasis in the UAE, belonging to Abu Dhabi and just over a hundred kilometers away from Dubai. Unlike other emirates where the desert stretches out, Al Ain is surrounded by green trees and springs, making it the most natural shade of green in the desert.

Almost all the Chinese students in my grade quickly registered, but I kept dragging my feet and didn't express my position.

Lian Pian's eyes widened, and he was a little surprised: "Xixi, you won't go, right? for a whole week, if you don't go, how boring it will be to be bored at school." ”

I soothed her surprise and said, "It's not that I'm not going, but I want to wait until the end to sign up." I had to make sure there wasn't anyone I didn't want to see on the outing......"

Lian Pian looked at the ring around my neck and sighed.

"Xixi, why are you so stupid......"

Reason is as relieved as hers, and the advice given is to remove the necklace, and it is also free from sadness.

I shook my head, weakly refused, and convinced myself, "It's just a necklace, a goodbye commemoration, a good etiquette to get together and disperse." In the end, it's just an accessory. ”

She looked at me steadily, a look of pity and pity. After a while, the look crossed me and looked behind me, with a look of surprise.

"What's wrong?" I followed her gaze and looked back, only to see Mosa and Jia Yi walking out of the library side by side, talking and laughing.

"What's going on? It's noon, so I won't be so diligent in self-study. Lian Pian asked me.

I shrugged, puzzled: "I don't know, maybe it's a group discussion, there is just one person missing, and there are only two of them." ”

Lian Pian suddenly 'revealed' a sympathetic expression: "It's just the beginning of school, and your teacher has assigned the topic?"

I thought about it, and it was true that there wasn't any homework or material to discuss lately, so what were they doing? As far as I know, Moussa was not an academic material.

As soon as he finished speaking, he saw Jia Yi and Mousa say goodbye separately, and the two of them walked in opposite directions. And Jia Yi was walking towards me and Lian Pian.

"Hi. Jia Yi was obviously in high spirits and quite happy, "What are you two doing here?"

"I happened to pass by, and I caught a glimpse of you. Lian Pian pouted, Jia Yi has been lukewarm to her recently, and there is no deliberate pursuit, and the relationship is much more natural than before. Lian Pian no longer deliberately avoided him, but calmly faced each other, less of the panic he had before.

I was filled with curiosity to ask him what he had done with Moses, but I pursed my lips and felt that I should not ask again, lest I have any more waves.

I was hesitating, and Lian Pian asked straight for me: "You and that white robe, studying in the library at noon?"

Jia Yi laughed heartily: "Yes, love to learn." ”

"I don't believe it. Lian Pian raised his hand, "In the past, when Xixi and the white robes were in a group, I saw it in my eyes, and I never discussed, how could I sacrifice my time at noon to study? ”

"I don't lie to you, I'm really going to learn. Jia Yi raised his eyebrows and showed off a little proudly: "It's just that there was no discussion, but I unilaterally tutored him." Of course, this reward is also very high!"

I finally couldn't help the sleepiness in my heart, and still asked: "Is he working so hard now?"

Jia Yi waved his hand: "It's not a professional class, and he doesn't know which tendon is 'messy', but he wants to learn Chinese, and he doesn't let me tell others." He laughed and said, "But tell you you you should be fine." His purpose in secrecy is certainly not against the two of you. ”

I was stunned, my lips pursed into a line, and before I knew it, I fell into the quagmire of longing again. I remembered the meaning of the ring necklace that Singer told me, and I couldn't help but think nonsense.

Is he still trying to try?

If not, how could he devote himself to investigating China's geology, and how could he hide that others were learning Chinese? When I wanted to get away from him step by step, did he still want to get closer to me little by little?

The light in his eyes and the fire in his heart were extinguished in an instant, and they could not fully express this chaotic despair.

I want to love him, but I have no luck, and I want to hate him, but I have no excuses.

I want to hide, but I have no place, and I want to accept it, but I don't have the courage.

Either way, you can't get rid of the stupid 'desire' that you hold deep in your heart.

It's just that this stupid 'desire' moves, can't say, can't say, and dare not say.