Chapter 33: Energy
Yingying has always been in a quiet daze since she came back from her hometown, and she is the kind of person who sits in an empty heart for most of the day. For a while, many nameless distractions hovered over her head, neither seeing the future, but also blurring the past, just like that kept sinking, sinking, as if it was the eternal tone of her life,ββ she finally understood that she had always been so decadent, and that the things in those dreams had never been related to her. If you don't have a chance, you won't have a chance, if you are defeated, you will be defeated, and you will fall into the dust like this, only in this way can she find her truest happiness. Siqi had a few more teeth in her mouth, lying in her arms while happily sucking her ** while touching her cheek with her little hands, those big bright eyes looked at her intently, giggling while eating. smiled brightly, and the trivial crumbs in front of and behind her fell one after another.
Liao Guanghui is still fooling around, he works during the day, and before it gets dark, he runs out with a few people. One day, when those gangsters came to the store to look for Liao Guanghui, Yingying saw those Huangzi standing on the side of the road and making quips: "Find Xiaoman to ββ" "Wang Guangbiao won't kill you!" "Cut ββ!ββ Wang Guangbiao doesn't want her for a long time! She is Lao He's person now, what kind of person is Wang Guangbiao, will he really play with her? It's just playing, and after the fresh scene, you can throw it as far as you can! Otherwise, tonight, I'll ask Xiaoman out for you to see?ββ""-You are a bear!" Liao Guanghui was swinging Erlang's legs, lowering his head and tearing open a pack of cigarettes, at this time, he raised his eyebrows and smiled at the child, and said, "-You can't hold it!" Before he finished speaking, he turned back and looked at Yingying with a grimace. Yingying sat behind a pile of waste garbage with the child in her arms, listening to them say in a deep and shallow way, Yingying heard how unbearable Luo Xiaoman is now in the minds of these people, including Liao Guanghui, that kind of unbearable is worse than her current situation, she thinks deeply.
She only silently packed up her business, packed up her children, and did her housework every day, and then she would think very anxiously in her heart that the day was coming, and the day she originally envisioned would take her away as long as the child was one year old. However, one day Liao Guanghui suddenly said to her: "It's hot, tomorrow you can take your children to the market to buy clothes!" Yingying glanced at him in surprise, stretched out her hand and said, "-Where's the money?" Who knew that Liao Guanghui reached out and grabbed a handful of money from his pocket: "Is it enough for ββ?" Yingying didn't answer, and looked at Liao Guanghui and put all the money on the table. "Where's the money?" asked Yingying. "Why do you ask so much? I didn't steal it!" Liao Guanghui said stupidly, "Buy sexy clothes to wear, and go to compare with those girls on the street,ββ look like fairies and clean up!" Yingying frowned when she heard this.
When Yingying came back from the city after shopping for a long time with her child in her arms, she sat on the bus, and she thought in her heart of humiliation, what kind of energy she had to need to deal with this life, the endless ups and downs of life, humiliation, humiliation, suffering, anger and vulgarity, she knew that this had to be an invincible and fearless contest, and tears rolled down her cheeks while she clenched her fists.
When walking through the square, Yingying saw a person sitting under the long covered bridge of the pavilion, dressed in black, with a disheveled hair, haggard and lonely, it was Luo Xiaoman, who could hardly recognize her.
Yingying stared at her hesitantly, perhaps wanting to say hello to her in her heart,ββ they seemed to have made an appointment. But after all, she had a good time with Liao Guanghui, and that kind of evil would not be eliminated from the bottom of her heart,ββ she didn't believe that she would end well. Finally, she passed coldly, and Luo Xiaoman's eyes were very gloomy.
It happened three days later. It was early in the afternoon, and people all over the street were spreading the shocking news that Luo Xiaoman had committed suicide! For a while, all the people were rushing towards the video store opened by Luo Xiaoman, and Yingying followed forward with the child in the middle of the crowd, and heard the person next to her say that he had committed suicide by cutting his wrists, and the whole room was covered with blood. As she walked, Yingying's heart faintly ached.
A cordon has been set up at the door of the video store, the inner three layers and the outer three layers are surrounded by water, the voices of people are boiling, Yingying looks at the door spasmodically, and after a while, I saw two uniformed policemen carrying out a corpse of Luo Xiaoman wrapped in a sheet, which was pulled alone, the red blood stains were mottled into patches, and a lock of hair hung down long, which made people feel more and more frightened. Originally, such a person was in his prime and graceful, why did he only become such a lonely appearance when he died.
Next, the story about Luo Xiaoman really spread. In the evening, when several old residents in the neighborhood gathered together, everyone sighed, you and I will say one sentence at a time.
"Alas, it's a pity for this child......" a plainly dressed old lady smacked her lips with a sigh.
"Tsk, yes, how can you get ...... when you're all dead," a burly middle-aged man sighed with his head down.
Liao Guanghui also stood in the crowd and eavesdropped, looking at everyone's expressions with concern, and at this time he finally asked unwillingly and pretending to be irlevant: "-How is she?"
When the lady heard this, she glanced at him, and she probably heard a little about him on a virtual basis, so she turned her face and muttered, "I see...... It turned out to be a good child, and he got married since he got married, hehe......"
"-I found the in-law's family to find it!" Another woman took over the conversation crisply, and said conclusively: "It is said that the conditions are good, the father-in-law and mother-in-law are cadres, and the man is a civil servant, and the family looks down on her, and she is very manipulative, and she divorces when she can't stand it, divorced, one has no job, and the other has no power and powerββ!" The woman said as she clapped her hands together and spread them out, "In the end, the child was not awarded to her in the lawsuit, and there was not a penny left, nothing was left!
"Didn't you say that the man's side also had evidence of her cheating?"
"What-yes? It's the man's cheating first, and everyone else has a child over there, so I don't want her!"
"After coming back, Wang Guangbiao found her, and it was good to come and go, Wang Guangbiao's daughter-in-law knew, she often scolded on the street during that time, Wang Guangbiao was a shrewd person, and he couldn't ruin his family, and slowly the two broke off, and Xiao Man got along with a few gangsters on the street again, and his reputation became worse and worse......"
Liao Guanghui wanted to list up when he heard this, Yingying stood on the side of the crowd and glanced at him, and then looked away very calmly.
At night, Liao Guanghui was very tired of snuggling with her, Yingying understood that he was not only thinking about good things, he must also be stimulated by Luo Xiaoman's affairs. Yingying obeyed him, but there was no fun, Luo Xiaoman had been haunting her heart in the dark, and her eyes were wide open. When the matter was over, Liao Guanghui still hugged her and didn't let go, Yingying wanted to push him away, but she heard his lingering words: "I beg you not to leave me, okay?......" Through the dark night, Yingying listened to it, and felt the sound of her indifferent heart melting without moving. For a long time, Liao Guanghui had fallen asleep, Yingying was lying between Siqi and Liao Guanghui, but her heart was extremely depressed and uncomfortable. Unable to sleep for a long time, she was repeatedly immersed in Luo Xiaoman's or her own nightmares of despair......
She warned herself from time to time that she would not live well with a scumbag like him! Although it was indeed difficult for her to go out with a child like this alone, it was difficult for her to survive, but she would be humiliated and unbearable to continue living with a scumbag like him. However, the main thing is that after Luo Xiaoman died, he was indeed a lot more perverse, which made her feel even more depressed and wondering, and he also counted his mistakes from time to time, but he no longer rebelled against her, as soon as he said it, he said, I will change. This is contrary to her original intention, she wants to challenge his bottom line again and again, until she can stubbornly take advantage of the planned date to leave angrily, and live her own life, just like all inspirational single mothers.
Then she also went to consult Siqi's hukou issue, which was also in line with her wishes, and the hukou of children born out of wedlock should fall into the mother's name. So she went back to her hometown, ready to implement Siqi's hukou under her name, and then set up the hukou of her mother and daughter, which solved the main problem of her surviving alone with her children. In this way, she went back with a tragic heart. However, it was this time that something unexpected happened when I went back.
When she took the household registration book, Yingying made up a nonsense to Li Jinfeng, saying that Siqi needed the household registration book when she saw a doctor. Li Jinfeng's face was even more stagnant, she didn't want to add such a child's household registration to her family for no reason. Seeing this, Yingying hurriedly opened her mouth and said, this time by the way, she also moved my household registration. When Li Jinfeng heard this, he thought calmly for a moment, and then said coldly, Then let me ask your father! Yingying was afraid that there would be any more delays, so she said categorically, no need to ask, I told my father,ββ I will have to get out of this door sooner or later anyway!
Hearing this, Li Jinfeng raised her pair of goldfish eyes to look at her, and her words spit out from her mouth surgingly: "-Then there is no way for you to do this?" Yingying looked at her, she couldn't tell whether the bulging goldfish eyes from her cared about her or disdain. Now you have put the child in your name, and you have lacked education since childhood, otherwise you would not have come to this point!" Yingying lowered her head in shame when she heard this, but she gritted her teeth stubbornly in her heart.
Yingying walked into the East House, since her grandmother died, she was not at home, and the East Room was very desolate and barren. Just as this room at the door was stomping on bags of grain, since the death of his grandmother, Li Jinfeng had roughly thrown away the things of his mother and son. There is only a bed left in the room, which is full of miscellaneous items, probably for Yingying to sleep on, but Yingying doesn't dare to imagine how she will live here if she comes back one day, it is gloomy. The most gratifying thing is that grandma's boss box is also on the bed, and the last time she left, she deliberately packed up all her things, including those she had since she was a child, although they had been yellowed and damaged after a long period of erosion. She also intended to put a few of her own clothes inside, and she was really afraid that Li Jinfeng would sell it to her as a scrap. When she came back this time, she decided to take it with her.
When she was tidying up, she opened the black diary and flipped to a page, which was exactly the sentence: "At the age of sixteen, I have just grown up, should I be laying a golden avenue in front of me, or a dark and lonely lonely road of life?" It is a fitting reflection of her current situation, and she can't help but feel a lot of emotions.
When Liu Dazhu leaned on the bag full of beans in the east house and stomped down, Yingying shouted: "My fatherββ" but he didn't reply, and he didn't see a letter in his hand.
"Nier, this letter was sent to you by your mother!"
Yingying reacted sluggishly for a long time, and Fang turned his face to look at Liu Dazhu, who was holding the letter in his hand.
"It's your mother!" your own mother sent ......," Liu Dazhu said as he looked at Yingying, who looked hesitant.
Yingying walked over tremblingly and took the letter, which had been opened and thickened.
"I demolished it, you won't blame me, and I didn't ask anyone to see it,ββ you're not at home, I'm afraid something will happen." β
"What's in the letter?"
"She's in jail and has a very heavy sentence, and I hope you can go and see her. β
Yingying felt that the cells in her body were excited.
On the side of the road, Yingying stood alone. The sky has turned to autumn, and from time to time the yellow leaves on the trees fall down, and the world in front of you is both familiar and extremely strange. The fields had just finished harvesting, and the fields were empty, and only the big poplars at the top of the village were still lush in color. It's also to blame her for being careless, and she actually got her message before. It was when she was just pregnant.