"Mom knows that after bringing you to meet him, he may not be able to go back. Mom knows, Mom knows, Mom has lived with you for so many years, how can I not understand your mind? How can I not understand what kind of child you are? If Lao Mo's family is rich, if Lao Mo still has children, I will take you to see him early. If he was doing well, you wouldn't care so much about him? If he wasn't so miserable, your heart wouldn't be so tormented, and you wouldn't want to stay......"

Oh, yes......

So, she kept it a secret from me, and he didn't dare to tell me that my biological father was living so badly and needed to be taken care of so much.

"Mom......"

"Go ahead. Go ahead. My mind is also confused. If you don't go, then you are not Li Fei, and if you follow me, then you are not the kind daughter in my mind. Mom is also uncomfortable, Mom understands everything, but I feel so distressed... It hurts......" she said, hammering her chest hard.

"Mom!" I put my arms around her, hugged her and cried.

&

Fu Xiangqin is gone. After getting up from the ground, he didn't dare to look back.

Watching her car disappear with the sunset, my heart hurts to death. I knew she must have been driving back crying as she drove.

However, no matter how reluctant Fu Xiangqin and I are in our hearts, I still can't give up my biological father.

I walked back to the dilapidated compound step by step, stepped into it gently, and looked at the waste piled up everywhere, and I suddenly stopped.

Can I go back?

I could, but I couldn't.

Father, he was too bitter and tired. If I give up on him and follow Fu Xiangqin back to the city to live a good life, my conscience will be disturbed. If I grow up, if he dies of old age, I will condemn myself to death!

That's a lifetime of uneasiness, a lifetime of condemnation, a lifetime of never forgiving one's debts!

Gently stepping on all kinds of messy things towards the old house, his steps were light and he didn't dare to stir up a trace of dust.

The door of the old house was open, and he sat on the chair facing the door and bent over, the left half of his body was very "natural" stiff, his right elbow fell on his knee, and he covered his face with one hand. The decadent body trembled a few times from time to time, but he didn't dare to cry out loud......

At that moment, I suddenly understood why Fu Xiangqin made me wear so gorgeous today.

She wanted my father to know how good I was, and she wanted my father to know the difference between the two families from the clothes.

But she also broke my father's heart, which was already fragile and unbearable when she saw me,

I stepped softly into the doorway and watched quietly as he wore his military hat and bowed his head.

"Dad......"

It's the first time in my life that I shouted my dad so heartily, and the feeling is really hard to describe. It's as if a sun is shouting out in the sky!

Then, the whole world lit up!

He is not the man who asked me to call my dad in front of him and then bathed me when he came home, he was not a policeman who was always so rational in his public duties, he was a father, a man who would really shine like the sun on you for the rest of your life.

When he heard my voice, his body trembled violently, his hands trembled a few times, and then he slowly raised his head.

His eyes flickered, a kind of overwhelmed shaking.

Looking nervously behind me, when I found that there was no Fu Xiangqin following, my eyes turned into doubts again.

In a panic, he picked up the crutches next to him, stood up, and excitedly wiped away the tears on his old face and asked, "Where are you Parsley Mom......?"

"Dad, I'm not leaving, I'm with you. ”

After he heard this, the whole person was like eating chili peppers, squatted back on the bench, and the red neck burst out with excitement, and he couldn't open his mouth to speak: "No......!

His excited and complicated expression is still vivid in my mind.

&

For my own good, my father naturally wanted me to go back.

But that's just a polite remark, right?

After all, in his panicked eyes, I could feel that he cared so much about my daughter.

He could not resist me, and when he saw that it was getting dark, he told me to stay at home, and then limped into the yard. Very skillfully and with a very uncoordinated posture, he stepped on the broken tricycle and pedaled out.

At seven o'clock in the evening, he heard movement in the courtyard and hurried out.

After getting off the tricycle and holding up the crutches, the father picked up a large bag with one hand, and walked to the door with a few plastic bags in his mouth.

I hurriedly reached out to take it.

He took the things from his mouth and said with a smile: "I went to buy two pig's trotters, your mother liked to gnaw pig's trotters when she was alive, and I wonder if you are rare." ”

The light in the room shone on his face, and his expression was full of indescribable satisfaction. Looking at his appearance, my heart was suddenly filled with something indescribable.

He asked me to go to dinner first, and he took the quilt to the Westinghouse and started making my bed.

And he went to sleep in the east room with the original old bedding.

When he picked up the worn-out furniture, his whole expression was very nervous.

He was nervous when he looked at me, nervous when he spoke, for fear that I would dislike his nervousness.

But how could I dislike him?

I won't.

I've been poor, I've been hungry, I've been homeless, and I've almost become a street girl.

It is completely different from not experiencing it, I am not afraid of hardship, I am not afraid of sadness.

The longer a person lives, the more he realizes that inner stability and happiness are the most important things.

That night, as I lay in bed and listened to the fan swaying to the side, I told myself: this is my home, a home that truly belongs to me.

At the age of sixteen, I didn't know what kind of life I would live with my father in the future. It may be bitter, but I am not crippled, and I will slowly straighten my father's collapsed back with my own ability.

……

The next day, Officer Zhang came.

There are four or five large and small duffel bags.

Fu Xiangqin's heart is very fine, all the things I like and use, the same.

But I only opened one, and I didn't dare to open the second one. Because when you see those things, the memories of the scenes will make people feel very depressed and uncomfortable, how dare you open a second one?

"Is my mom okay?" I asked, gently wiping away my tears.

"It's fine. ”

"Oh, she ......" I wanted to ask her why she didn't come, but then I thought, do I need to ask?

Why bother.

"Your mother will come after a while, Zhang Liang is clamoring to come, and I don't agree. Officer Zhang said.

"Oh, don't let Zhang Liang come. I said lightly.

"Hmm. Officer Zhang responded very rationally. There was a little bit of a hint in my eyes that I could perceive.

He knows his son very well, and he should know that Zhang Liang likes me.

When my father looked at Officer Zhang, he didn't mention anything more about letting me go back.

If it was Fu Xiangqin, he would mention it, and even ask for it.

However, when facing Officer Zhang, he just tried to straighten his body and thank him in a man-to-man state.

Officer Zhang asked me for my opinion on whether to go to high school here or to go to the city. Naturally, I had to stay in the county seat and study, closer to my father.

After hearing this, he agreed to help me with the transfer of school registration and household registration, and reassured me that if Li Sheng wanted to come to me for trouble, he would come to help me.

His father left him to eat, so he naturally excused himself. While the sky was still bright, I went back early.

When he left, I didn't cry, he didn't cry, and the feelings between people are always so subtle and different. The same people who have lived together for so many years have different distances between their hearts.

Just because I don't cry doesn't mean I'm not grateful to him.

I am grateful, very grateful. I owe them what I owe them, and I will spend the rest of my life slowly making up for and repaying them.

……

At night, when my father was asleep, I turned on the light and carefully opened the luggage.

Fu Xiangqin knew that I liked makeup, which was the "stinky temper" I contracted when I was with Feng Yan, she didn't let me wear makeup when I was in school, but she would accompany me to put on makeup and dress up on holidays.

There were also two boxes of beautiful clothes, and even a purple evening dress she had prepared for my eighteen-year-old coming-of-age ceremony. However, she saw this evening dress when she accompanied me shopping in the city, but she did not buy it at the time.

Unexpectedly, she actually bought it for me this time......

I picked out a few older and less brightly colored clothes from inside, and the rest were all sealed under the bed.

It's not that you don't want to wear it, it's that you can't wear it.

My father was a scrap collector, and how could I dress so fancy?

Since you have chosen to live, you should give up those prosperity. The position of the foot is the way to choose to live, which is called "contentment".

The last suitcase contains all kinds of study materials and books that I like to read. Little by little, I placed it on the desk that my father had prepared for me.

I found a file bag halfway, and when I opened it, I found that it was a "testament" left to me after Ah Zhu's death.

When she died, Officer Zhang went to check her belongings, and she wrote me a letter. However, at that time, Officer Zhang said that I was too young and did not give it to me.

Now, I have reached the same age as when Ah Zhu died, and my thoughts are no longer as simple as when I was twelve, so Officer Zhang dared to write this letter to me.

This is what she wrote before she committed suicide......

..

I hope you don't skimp on the flowers in your hands, love you!