Chapter 058 Diary Love is a Monster

It was still October 1, 1986, and it was sunny

On September 26th, the day when the diary of this volume [14 copies of my singing voice left here] began, I couldn't even read "Outside the Window", at 9 o'clock in the evening, I walked out alone, I walked aimlessly, walked for more than an hour, and when I came back, my mood was really good, so that the gentleman never believed that I was alone together, thinking that I had obtained someone's gentle comfort.

"Did she give you any questions?"

What doubts are there to solve? In the past few days, the words and actions we have expressed have been exaggerated, and I seem to be so happy that I "get carried away," but the gentleman believes it. No matter how I explain it, it won't work, and now it's the gentleman's turn to go down.

I haven't seen the other side of what he said, and said that she is not much better than the same side of Yue Lingzi in Yan Qin's "The Wind is Quiet". [She was hung up and beaten by her father more than once, and gritted her teeth and insisted on carrying water that afternoon after the abortion, no matter how strong the suppression was, she never gave in to her first love once. I saw this side on July 8 of the family calendar [I can't see it now, I burned it], and I can't see it for a long time, so I can deduce some of it.

We are the age of dreams, and we are not good at proportion, and it is easy to see things too well or too badly. The gentleman has always been very disgusted with He Ying not going to Chengdu, he is insisting on stopping her and adopting a policy of non-cooperation, his policy of non-cooperation has always failed in front of He Ying, He Ying is so powerful.

My face has been better for two days, but I look haggard when I write this, so let's go get something to eat.

I glanced back at her, and suddenly I felt that her image was a little different. Probably because we used to get along with her, I felt that her smile was sincere and her tenderness was sweet. But now, I realize that there is a bit of worldliness in her smile. In tenderness, it is a bit contrived. Even on her face, she was in good rouge, and on her lips, she saw a faint lipstick. However, the smeared one is very coincidentally kneaded with the original, and it is impossible to see it at a rough look.

People know that the purpose of her doing this is not to offend anyone, but they don't know that it is precisely because of her cowardice that she has been coldly looked down upon by many people, which may also be the fatal reason for her backwardness, right?

"However, this is by no means her true character, she turned out to be cheerful and dashing and amorous, she has a high-pitched and agitated voice, and has a sweet and gentle timbre......"

This is the words of those who love her, and I hope she will laugh. - Yuan Anle, "Songs", 81 years, 6 issues

The above is what the author wrote to the current state of the song, and it is very appropriate to give it to her!

She was afraid of being helped, and she couldn't help but accept it, and she was not afraid of Xiao Yang, but she was also afraid of my funding: people like her who walked with their hands moving forward and backward had such a mentality that they did not want to look at their own shortcomings, let alone consciously change them—and she was also well aware of her own shortcomings, and in her personality she generally used her temper to cover up her obvious shortcomings. At this time, you really realize that love does not need conditions, and even the shortcomings of the other party are not loved.

The downside is also quite cute, it depends on whom. It's not impossible to step on the nine boats, it depends on how you stagger the time and occasion. Her coaxing of classmate Huang was very successful. Poor student Huang is so sophisticated, but she was stunned by the sound of "Ah Huang", how can she distinguish between true feelings and false intentions? When Wang Jiaqiao was separated, she seemed to have not wanted to leave for a long time, how could Huang not see such a glorious and reluctant love? Bypassing Anle Township, bypassing the mouth of the three rivers, and looking at the mountain through the water, "Ah Huang, Huang , Ah Huang, Huang -- goodbye, goodbye, goodbye!" That deep call even I will never forget, and the Huang student who was exposed to it will not think about it?

It's August 29 to say goodbye, and I told Huang Tong that he has the news that he has the master, and I agreed on a time and place to say goodbye, but I haven't seen him since!

The ghost knows why classmate Wei [today's Principal Chen] would ask such a question, and he also listed himself.

The sister-in-law next door is not so hateful. She makes the old 'dear' so annoying. The eldest lady also said: "She has also been playing with the old one for nearly a month. "Did you really play for a month?

She and I walked along the famous 'Ear Rock' section of the highway, and we hugged each other, and she said the words, "How I need a man." "On August 28th, when we parted, she took me all the way to the 'back of the cup', and it was raining heavily, and she asked, 'Do you love me?' and we stared: 'Really!' and I replied. She asked, "Love me forever?" and "Yes." "If you don't love me, you can't ask that.

[And in this July, this is there, and we were separated like that:

&&&&&That July&&&&

That July

The drizzle continued

It is a silky love rope

Gently tied her and me together

The warmth of his home

My eyes were hers

She is like a bird in this heaven and earth

Fly as you please

It's me who breaks through that warmth

Break the rain

Lots and lots under the roof

are calling

This power helps me break through

Break so lightly

===== dividing line =====

She chased after her desperately

Eagerly latched onto the rope

It also rained on her

Her rain has long been hers

Fishing line

The salty bait in that line

You're going to catch me in her paradise

I don't

I took her with me on earth

The mud walked for a long, long time

I have exhausted the food in my heart

She doesn't eat

"I'm cold," she said

I double-planned to give her many ways

But it is

No hugs

There was no kiss

===== dividing line =====

I sent her back,

Only a few steps were taken

"You go back on your own"

I knew she wanted me

Grow into a big tree

Stand on this mountain forever

She looked back every time

I'm all beckoning

I didn't

Only a few steps away from the Lord

She kept looking back

That's all I saw

Rugged mountain roads

===== dividing line =====

I'm not a tree

Palms covered with leaves

===== dividing line =====

Later he said

She collapsed on his bed

But the second morning stood up

Like a tree

===== dividing line =====

now

I'm swimming in my own water

There are waves in the water

Just as there is rain in her air

===== dividing line =====

You know

I was 19 years old

The memories of spring are pears

The green buds are full of branches

Winter memories are pears

No branches, no leaves, cold bones

===== dividing line =====

It was a rainy year

That day was also my sky

Her method of 'letting everyone who has affection for her be close to her and choose the best to live' is so terrible that it breaks us down one by one. Who is she and I who will be examined, who will be the main examiner and who will be examined?

Maybe, maybe, the gentleman still can't figure out what kind of feelings she has for him and him, but the gentleman is a smart person, why is he so painful for her, he even hurt her when she went to Chengdu and said, 'You love her deeply', he should understand: I shouldn't be in love.

But love is in love, and I have been in love for many times, and I vow to be no longer affectionate. Love is happiness, isn't it?

She's not very smart, she's very good, she might make us have to compete, maybe when our results come, we'll all say to her, "I don't love you right now." ”

I agree with the old word "save", but I don't love her so scary, that's just the opinion of some eyes, and I see it a little more confused.

On the third note to her, I said:

I don't think human nature is particularly bad, and I haven't found the object of hatred in reality (I don't even hate myself), and I know that due to the environment, some people are helpless and have to [too good at thinking about others, it's hard to hate someone].

You're the only one I've been thinking about all day, though you're not so satisfied, and you're very dissatisfied.

If you're smart enough to deliberately take it from you, destroy my self-confidence. Well, you have good intentions, and you are too satisfied. In fact, you don't seem to have this scheming strange woman, Du Xiaoshuang is a literary friend, you haven't learned, is there a coincidence?

I can't figure out if I'm still strong in my heart, but I don't have the mentality of competing among my peers, and my peers are not them. To be honest, I was guiding and helping them, and I didn't struggle much, I didn't work hard. Everything is light and quiet, I don't really do any kind of thing, nothing is 'think twice'. She did something else to me than just a competitive mentality.

I vaguely remember that Yao Zhenhan had a song "We Are Opponents", and I also gave a wrong evaluation. We have to be opponents and friends behind our opponents.

First of all, you have to have an opponent, you have to know that someone is challenging you, and who is challenging you, and some challenge books are not expressed in language symbols, you know?

Almost everyone has selfishness, and without selfishness, they can't become individuals.

Let me ask you, do you still have the concept and standard of being noble and lowly? You have to be degenerate and called cheap, and you are willing to fall to be low.

I was indeed too sluggish to admit the words "save" and "absurd" until now. She must have been afraid that I would be ashamed to recognize the 'absurdity'.

"But I want you to change, change, change, change, change, change instead of flexibility, a moment is a moment. So, after lingering for a long time, I sent out a letter to your parents. It's changed!"

For her, I am already "if there is nothing", and I am completely "confused". I shouldn't love her, but love is a monster, and no one can guarantee that they won't suffer from love.

I'm not a lover, I see strange thoughts, and I think that if someone loves me with all her heart, she should have the urge to understand me, and she doesn't want to know me at all. I'm not a lover, I don't lie to myself.

How many people in the world know how to love me with their hearts? If it is friendship, we cannot talk about it, and we do not come together because of friendship. I love her, and she loves me, who will see the difference?

How many frustrations are there in love, people who have never been in love, don't write about love lightly.

I can't help but think of 'the fish I have been looking for for a long time', her enthusiasm is an inner passion, she is no longer so arrogant and reserved, I have an impulse to write to her!

Tomorrow, I will take the time to remember those ridiculous years, and wait for He Ying to come back and have some frank conversations with her. Anyway, I can't forget her, I can't help anything.

"Kim Kai, Kim Kai. "I admired him so much that he fell asleep as soon as he fell out of bed.