Too often? That is not normal!

"Why is this happening?" I asked the doctor more curiously than Xinya.

"Let me tell you a little bit about it, some of the features of some of the scenes we have experienced are stored in different memory systems, and we don't realize that when we encounter a new scene, some of the elements in it may stimulate some of our memories, mobilize different memory systems in the brain to match them. Once a feature in a scene matches a past experience, a sense of 'déjà vu' is created. In your case," the doctor looked at Xinya, "If the memories of the past are fragmented, it is easier to feel this way." ”

"But," Xinya glanced at me, and stopped talking, "Why is it rare for such a situation to occur under other circumstances?"

"Are you saying that it's mainly with him that there will be a sense of déjà vu in his living environment?"

Xinya's head was shaking wildly, and neither the doctor nor I could understand whether she was nodding or shaking her head, and I interjected, "Most of the time, but not all." For example, when she sees a building, a shopping mall, or a school on the street, she occasionally has this familiar feeling, especially the first time she goes to my company, she feels very kind, and she has been here before, and she has to stay in my company to work. ”

The doctor's gaze turned back and forth on my and Xinya's faces: "You two are ......"

I was afraid that the doctor would misunderstand, so I quickly clarified: "My wife has passed away for many years, I am single, she is my sister, pure brother-sister relationship, but non-blood. ”

"Do you usually live together?"

"Well, brother and sister, it's a family. ”

"So, are you ......" The doctor looked at Xinya and smiled slightly: "Do you have the intention to plant flowers or not?"

Xinya pursed her lips, her smile was elegant, and her face was ruddy. But I didn't understand what that meant to be.

"It's not just a matter of memory on your side, it's also an element of fantasy. The doctor tossed the pen on the table and leaned back in his chair.

I think Xinya may have understood a little bit of the fantasy that the doctor meant by me, otherwise the blush on her face that had just receded would not suddenly bloom like a peach blossom again.

I asked the doctor what kind of treatment I needed, and the doctor said that I would not need it for the time being, and that I should write down any further abnormal behavior and go to him again.

I don't know if it's because we weren't detailed enough to be specific, and this time the doctor just won't do it.

I felt a little disappointed in my heart, could it be that all the diseases in my heart are like this, and I won't say what I can't say clearly?

On the way home, Xinya blamed me: "What kind of fame are you doing, obviously your problem is very serious, and you will treat me as a mentally abnormal person when you turn a corner." ”

I smiled faintly and deliberately ignored it.

I don't know if it was intentional or not, Xinya immediately shifted the focus to me, and the tone of sympathy and pity made me very uncomfortable.

"Actually, sleepwalking is not a big deal. The doctor who treated you said that there was no need for any special treatment. Guimei heard it outside the door that day, Wenwen was what I took the initiative to tell her, in addition, no one else in the company knows, no one else will pay attention to this matter, you don't have to have too much mental pressure and psychological burden. ”

Xinya is also too naïve, and I really asked her to accompany the exhibition.

I pretended to be angry and glared at her: "What are you thinking, I'm really worried about whether you're okay, why are you so conscienceless?"

"Okay, it's me who has no conscience, as long as you're okay, you can scold me whatever you want. Xinya smiled insightfully as I did.

I understand that Xinya now intends to treat me as a porcelain doll that may be broken at any time, and she cares for me in every way, for fear of bumping into it, and she is very careful in what she says and does.

Gui Mei always scoffed at the statement that I was suffering from sleepwalking, and sneered: "Don't listen to the doctor's nonsense, they all belong to psychological problems and mental problems that are not explained clearly, and what is mysterious is actually a blind man lighting a lamp in vain." ”

"I wish you were right, but you have to tell me why!"

"I... You... Hey, believe it or not. After all, Gui Mei couldn't say why, turned around and ran away, and didn't want to talk to me.

======

"Let's sit together?"

In just 2 weeks after Xinya told her about my sleepwalking, this was the second time she asked me to have coffee alone.

Maybe it's psychological, when I see Wenwen up close, I always feel like her belly is like a balloon that is blowing, and it's getting bigger and bigger. The last time she asked me, she had shown enough magnanimity and great compassion in the past, and I don't know which song I was going to sing today.

"Are you okay? Insist on regular prenatal checkups, right?" Although I felt very awkward when I said this, I still had to say this, especially after saying that I had a sleepwalking problem, and even the confidence to deny the child in Wenwen's belly was completely gone.

Probably because I had never said such a thing about her and the child in her womb, Wenwen smiled happily, a kind of intoxication to be a mother: "Of course regular check-ups, the doctor said that it is very good and healthy." ”

"Do you want me to transfer some money to your card today?"

"Why do you think so, as if I was looking for you to blackmail you for money?" Wenwen immediately walked out of the momentary unhappiness, and said in a gentle tone: "Actually, it's nothing, just sit with you for a while and chat." ”

Wenwen dealt with me with her mouth, her eyes and hands were busy browsing something on her phone: "How do you see a doctor?"

I didn't realize she was sleepwalking.

"You, even mentally, psychologically, including physiologically, are too depressed, and the root of the problem is the obsession and guilt of your wife, which has really become your heart disease. Actually, you don't have to be like that at all, I don't think you have anything emotionally against your wife, only blame her for her bad life. ”

Wenwen seemed to be talking to herself, speaking slowly, neither looking at me nor expecting my reaction.

"Her death is not your negligence and fault, she has been dead for so many years, you have concentrated on raising your daughter and sending her abroad to go to college, for so many years you have been like a Yanagishita Megumi, sitting still, but after all, you are a normal man living in real life, it is strange that you can not feel depressed mentally, psychologically and physically!"

Wenwen told me such a big story, her eyes and hands were still on her phone.

"I also feel a little crazy, but I can't let go, I always feel that my wife is watching my every move from the sidelines, and she will come back to me at any time. ”

Wenwen didn't seem to hear what I said, and sent her phone to me: "Look at what people say about sleepwalking." ”

"Nine times out of ten, the sleepwalker's sleepwalking behavior represents what he thinks in the depths of his heart. Wenwen didn't know where to find it, so she deliberately circled this sentence and showed it to me.

"Do you see clearly?" Wenwen asked me, smiling.

After I nodded, Wenwen took the phone back and quickly flipped out another sentence: "Look at this sentence again, 'The sleepwalker is just a hallucinatory rehearsal of a pre-designed script'." ”

And this sentence," Without waiting for me to react, Wenwen handed me the phone again: "Sleepwalking is caused by mental depression, so what must be done to cure the symptoms of sleepwalking is to relieve the depression in my heart." ”

"Wenwen, why are you collecting these things, that's all family words, right?" I still didn't know Wenwen's intentions.

"Look at this again," Wenwen retracted the phone she handed over, "I'll read it to you." Freud believed that sleepwalking is a manifestation of a subconsciously suppressed emotion that flares on at the right time. Some patients will leave their homes or engage in dangerous behaviors, such as rolling out windows, driving, or even violent activities such as homicide, rape, etc. ”

I seem to understand what Wenwen is trying to say.