Every girl wants life to be full of sunshine, and Zhang Minyi is the same.

This simple girl has always hoped that the friendship will last forever, and she has always hoped that the human relationship can be warm and beautiful.

But life is always realistic, conflicts between people are inevitable, and in the end you will always find that how close friends and happy partners you once were eventually parted ways and become strangers.

"Friendship lasts forever," "Long live friendship," and "Friendship first" seem to be deceptive. Isn't it like them? The boat of friendship is capsized!

Zhao Qinan encouraged Bai Suzhen to use indifference to deal with themselves, and now they can be said to be strangers, and the atmosphere in the entire dormitory has become extremely indifferent.

They didn't know if it was out of shame or anger, and they didn't want to talk to her directly.

If there is anything, let Yang Susu be the microphone in the middle, and when she was forced to talk to her, her eyes were cold, and she was not enthusiastic at all.

In the past few days, she has been anxiously thinking about how to avoid interpersonal conflicts and the breakdown of interpersonal relationships, and this problem has been bothering her.

Didn't you think about coming back to ask your mother, the psychologist, for advice?

I really patronized the horns of the bull, and I was holding my breath to compete with them, alas! An alley went to the dark, what a big fool!

And because of this, he was angry with others, and he ignored Fan Xin, in fact, Fan Xin is the most innocent person in this matter, right?!

Why can't I be as unreasonable as them?!

On the one hand, the two sides can openly express their hidden grievances and misunderstandings, which can be clarified and resolved through debate, so as to eliminate estrangement, enhance understanding and deepen relations;

On the other hand, both sides can put their respective views and reasons in place, and through constructive arguments, they can form brainstorming, stimulate each other's new ideas, and finally find a better solution to the problem. ”

Zhang's mother talked eloquently and analyzed Zhang Minyi very calmly.

"But now they are secretly competing with me, they don't usually talk to me anymore, they don't talk to me, they don't talk about it, and they deliberately make it difficult for me in class. I can't get off the stage in front of people. Zhang Minyi thinks about the experience of being confronted by people in the past few days, and she feels very angry, and she is sad to lie in her mother's bad.

When the two sides began to hostile, she was very uncomfortable, very angry and nervous thinking about coping strategies, and she couldn't eat or sleep well.

She can't tell Fan Xin that these bad things are causing trouble for her, Fan Xin is too busy there!

At this stage of the Cold War, she has always been there thinking about whether to avoid them and move out, or to fight and have a hard time?

They either don't speak now, or if they do, they will have verbal arguments and even confrontations with Maimang.

Zhang's mother also felt Zhang Minyi's nervousness and anger from her daughter's words.

She understands very well that at this stage, everyone's nerves are crumbling, as if they are full bows, and as long as one side will provoke a little more to make the conflict public, it will enter an uncontrollable situation.

It is easy for conflicts to escalate and escalate conflicts.

When a rift begins to appear in the relationship, the volume of communication decreases, and the conversation is highly attentive, selective, and both are directed to reducing tension and inconsistencies.

From her daughter's words, she also heard one word: escape.

As a rule, as the relationship deteriorates, both parties will avoid each other as much as possible, especially to avoid the dilemma of being alone with only two people.

At this stage when the relationship deteriorates, people often find it difficult to judge the emotional state of both parties and predict the behavioral response of the other party.

Many people have achieved indirect communication through a third party when their marriage or relationship with relatives reaches this level.

In terms of perception and comprehension, this stage is prone to purely subjective misunderstandings.

Because people have a strong tendency to protect themselves, they will have allergic reactions to many otherwise normal interpersonal behaviors.

The consequences of a conflict can be a lose-lose situation, a win-win or a lose-lose, or a win-win if handled properly.

"When we interact with people, the starting point is definitely friendliness and integrity, not taking advantage of each other. How can we effectively avoid conflicts in interpersonal communication?"

"When we are friends with us, we must first be sincere, and secondly, we must distinguish one thing: it is important which of these people takes you seriously and who does not. ”

"For example, if you are in a class, not everyone is against each other, and there may be people who are completely opposite to you. ”

"There are also people who form a circle within a circle, a small group within a small group, so under this premise, you have to figure out which part of the people take you seriously and what kind of people don't take you seriously. ”

"But daughter, don't force your personality to grieve yourself to please others in the life circle, you don't have to do everything, you have your character, you can live your wonderful life. ”

"But the premise is not to take the initiative to hurt the other party, of course, if others take the initiative to trouble you, we should not back down, that is to say, if people do not offend me, I will not offend others. ”

"Mom, that's what Fan Xin often tells me!" Zhang Minyi was in a better mood and took the initiative to pick up the conversation.

Zhang's mother also nodded, "Yes, that child is right, it's right to learn more from her!"

Gu Fanxin is the classmate her daughter brought back for dinner for the first time, she thinks this girl is very good, no wonder her mother always says good things about her, and when she praises her, she talks endlessly, making people misunderstand that it is her niece.

"Now let's talk about your friends. A friend is someone who is willing to help you.

'Willingness' is subjective motivation. This is important, even if he is not capable enough, or does not help you in the end. But you feel his willingness to help you, and that's enough. ”

"Like those who don't want to help, it's not that they can't be contacted, but they can't be deeply acquainted. You can't count on these people at critical moments. ”

"In short, when you mix in the circle of friends there, you must learn to tolerate each other. Most of the people we come into contact with in reality will not be as easy to talk as our parents, and the relationship is thinner, and the appeal for interests is stronger. ”

Except for kinship relationships such as parents, brothers, siblings, and spouses, or iron relationships that have gone through many trials such as Fa Xiao and comrades-in-arms, most (colleagues, ordinary friends) belong to medium or weak relationships.

"There is a word in our place called "Gengzhi", which can be understood as "righteousness", but not everyone is as upright as you, and when the road is uneven, draw a sword to help. ”

"Daughter, think about it, among your friends, is there such a part of people: whatever you say to her, she shirks or agrees reluctantly, even if you have always had a good relationship with her or have helped her countless times.

People like this are people who can't be deeply acquainted, and it is recommended to stay away. ”

"Yes (⊙o⊙) Oh!" Zhang Minyi recalled Zhao Qiannan's actions, especially Zhao Qiannan, when Zhao Qiannan was in difficulty, she selflessly dedicated, and squandered money.

When she needs her help with something, she always excuses herself with one kind of excuse or another. It's not like a mortal heart that can be believed with a heart.

What is a "good friend"?