Wandering aimlessly in this sad city, not knowing where to go, being anywhere in the city now makes me feel like I'm in a huge scam that covers almost my entire world. At this time, I was like a person trapped in the mire, trying to struggle, but the more I struggled, the deeper I sank until I was all trapped and it was difficult to breathe, from suffocation to death. This is the most painful process, I have to get used to a person I once loved so much, and when I finally broke up, I gave me such a big "gift" for myself to bear alone.

I don't know why I drove the car to the downtown square, where Wen Xue came back to see me for the first time in college, and we hugged each other here and vowed to be together for the rest of our lives. But now it seems how ridiculous it is, I once proposed to him here with a plastic ring, when she was moved to hug me and cry, and told me that I must marry me in this life, and accompany me to see the sunrise of Huangshan, but now you are married to someone else and tear up my most beautiful love with your own hands.

"Wen Xue, why are you, why are you doing this, you are a poisonous woman, you have ruined my life and everything I have. What the hell do you want to do, are you really so poisonous? Do you really hate me so much? You don't even leave me the last of your dignity, and you have to ruthlessly deprive you of the little memory you have. ”

I stood in this place and screamed, I didn't know how I should vent, I couldn't support my body all of a sudden, I lay directly on the ground, the scenes of the past poured into my mind, I felt that I was in pain to breathe a suffocating feeling, at this time I lay on the ground and didn't feel a little cold, like a dead corpse. The ringtone on my phone was familiar to me, but I couldn't hear any sound anymore, and there was only a corpse left that wouldn't decompose.

"Are you so vulnerable? Or do you not want to ask her personally if all this is true? ”

I don't know how long I've been lying down, and I don't know when Zhou Fang came to me. It's not that I haven't thought about what she said, but I have already been occupied by anger, maybe if Wen Xue stood in front of me at this time, I didn't want to ask her the reason, I might have to let her return my youth and my love. But after calming down, I only have one thought, and that is to forget everything, everything about myself, including everyone. I can't blame Wen Xue for being deceived, I can only blame myself, because if I didn't love her too much and put her in my heart, then I wouldn't have today's pain, and now I can only rely on me for such an ending. At this time, I am much more sober than when I first knew the truth, and I am no longer so impulsive, and I am no longer a liar that everyone thinks I am. At this time, facing Zhou Fang next to me, I still have a trace of guilt, I just threw people down with so much strength, but now they are by my side when I am most in pain.

"No, I'm not going to go to her again in my life, I've forgotten about her. ”

I myself know that I am duplicitous when I say this, and if I can easily forget it, can I still stay here in such pain, and can I still come to this place where I once proposed. Now that's all I can say, and only then can I hide my vulnerability. Zhou Fang got up and didn't know where to go, but after a while she brought four bottles of red wine and handed me one. Except that I have never drunk red wine in a bottle today, but now I really want to get drunk, and I really hope that when I wake up, my love is still there, my youth is still there, and not so fragmented as it is now. I raised my head and drank most of it, the bitter wine stimulating my taste buds and stimulating every nerve in my body, and gradually I relied on this way to vent. I drank all four bottles of wine alone, and finally went to the surrounding supermarkets to buy two bottles of liquor and drank them all. I don't know when I fell down at the end of the drink, anyway, I forgot the initial pain, and I can also say that I was numb by that pain, and vented everything in the wine, and the pain, the memories, all stopped the moment I was drunk.

When I woke up the next day, I found myself lying in the hotel, and I was sleeping next to Zhou Fang, who was with me last night, I looked at Zhou Fang who was asleep, I didn't know how to face her after waking up, my two clothes were messily thrown on the ground, even her underwear was torn, I really don't know what happened last night, I can't remember anything. I felt my head hurt and I was dizzy. Looking at the sleeping Zhou Fang, I wanted to run away from here immediately, but I felt sorry for others when I did this, I tiptoed from the ground to pick up my clothes and put them on, stood in front of the window and took out a cigarette and lit it, the bitter smell of smoke made me sober up a lot, but I still can't remember what happened last night, I remember that Li Yan made a lot of calls last night, and I didn't answer any of them.

"Are you looking for a phone?"

Zhou Fang's voice came from behind her, I don't know when she woke up, maybe the cigarette in my hand woke her up, she was lying on the bed with her head in her hands and staring at me with playful eyes, but I didn't dare to look at her.

"I ...... last night"

I didn't know what I was supposed to say, I couldn't say the words as soon as I got to my lips, and I stared at the ground, afraid to look at her.

"There are flowers on the ground, you keep staring, give your mobile phone, call your Lafayette, I answered her call last night, you made a mistake last night, you see if your Lafayette can forgive you." ”

Zhou Fang didn't know where to find my mobile phone, but listening to her words, it seemed that Li Yan knew about me and her. At this moment, I felt scared, I immediately extinguished the cigarette in my hand, took my mobile phone, I saw that Li Yan had not answered more than 30 times, my heart was pounding, I knew that if Zhou Fang told Li Yan, I could only hate myself, but I couldn't hate Zhou Fang at all, this is not to blame others, I can only blame me for not being able to control myself after drinking. I dialed Li Yan's mobile phone, but there was a message from the other side, "Hello, the phone you dialed has been turned off, please dial again later." "I suddenly felt that my body had a feeling of being electrocuted, I didn't want to lose Li Yan anymore, I could make any amends to Zhou Fang for the mistake I made last night. Li Yan can not choose to forgive me, but I can't let her leave so sadly, I said that I would take care of her for the rest of my life, and I can't break my word. But which woman would choose to forgive such a mistake, Li Yan is such a kind girl, I don't want her to be sad for me for the rest of my life.

I sat on the edge of the bed for an hour, I kept dialing Li Yan's phone, but I kept turning it off, and I kept silently saying in my heart, "Quickly answer the phone, quickly answer the phone." "But there was no movement. I looked back at Zhou Fang who was sleeping next to me, and then at all this I had done last night, I hated myself more and more, why did things happen like this, did I really deserve to be single for the rest of my life. Suddenly, the phone rang, and when I saw that it was Li Yan's phone, I didn't even think to pick it up and explain it to her:

"Yan, can you listen to me?"

"Husband, what are you going to explain?"

"I ......"

From Li Yan's tone, I felt as if Li Yan didn't know about it, but why did she keep turning it off.

"My husband told me last night that you were drunk, and your classmate sent you to the hotel and couldn't answer the phone. I received a call from home last night that my cousin in the United States had a car accident and my mother wanted to go over, so we went to the United States overnight, and I originally wanted to tell you to let you come with me, but you didn't answer the phone, so I could only come with my mother. ”

"Ah, when did it happen, how is your cousin, it's not a big deal, right?"

I breathed a sigh of relief in my heart, I felt that the whole person was relaxed, but I still couldn't forgive myself in my heart, last night's actions hurt the three of us, if Li Yan really knew, then I am willing to use this life to exchange Li Yan's forgiveness.

"It's okay, it's not serious, he broke his arm, you know that cousin is hypocritical, a little injury can make an earth-shattering thing, and now almost everyone in the family is here with him. ”

"It's okay if you're fine, you have to take care of yourself over there, greet my uncle, aunt and uncle for me. ”

"Eun, good husband, dear. ”

"Momoda, it's time to rest over there, so go and rest. ”

"Okay husband, you have to take care of yourself when I'm not there, don't stay up late, don't drink, and one more thing, you must promise me"

"Eun, I'll promise you everything, you say. ”

"Just don't look for a little lover outside, hehe, I know my husband won't. ”

After listening to her little request, I looked back at Zhou Fang who was sleeping next to me, I didn't know how to agree to Li Yan, so I could only say "mmmm" twice into the microphone.

"Then my husband and I slept, remember to miss me, Mo Mo Da. ”

"Uh-huh, go to sleep, Momoda. ”

After I finished speaking, Li Yan hung up the phone, and there was a "beep" sound over there, and I didn't know if it was sweet or bitter in my heart. always felt like he was stripped naked in front of Li Yan, and all the ugliness was shown in front of Li Yan. For Li Liyan's guilt, I know that I can't pay it off in my life, I just hope that this matter will end here, buried in the sea forever.

Zhou Fang heard the end of the call between us, she turned around, grabbed my arm, pulled her head on my lap, and squinted and fell asleep, I could only hold one position like this until I lay down on the bed again and fell asleep. I don't know how long it took, I vaguely heard the sound of water coming from the bathroom, Zhou Fang didn't know when she got up, I lay on the bed and thought a lot, the first thing I thought of was Li Yan, what kind of mentality should I use to face her when Li Yan came back. She relied on me so much, believed in me so much, and suffered so many grievances for me. Yesterday we were together and I was talking sweetly to her, but now I'm lying down with other women. Although it is said that I only lay down after drinking, if I didn't subconsciously want to, then I wouldn't be in such a situation, and when I knew that Li Yan didn't know anything about it, I could still lie down and fall asleep here, which means that I am fundamentally a scumbag.

Just when I was slandering myself in my heart, Zhou Fang opened the bathroom door, she leaned against the door and stared at me, but now I was immersed in my own world and didn't raise my head to admire her Miaoman's body, seeing me like this Zhou Fang walked directly over and climbed into bed, pulled away my arm that was pillowed under his head and put his head on it, with one hand on my chest. Smelling the fragrance emanating from her body, feeling her body temperature from her arm, my body had the most primitive impulse again, I tried my best to suppress my vulgar thoughts, but my body had long been occupied by those lowly actions, and it was not under my control at all. It's right to think about it, whoever is lying next to such a beauty, and is still doing intimate movements with you, it's strange that there is no reaction, I'm not Megumi Yanagishita, I'm a normal man, and gradually my original reason was eroded by those impulses a little bit, I closed my eyes and kissed her hot lips, I felt the shameless change in my body, and pulled out the hand that was pressing under her body, I rolled over and pressed her low, but her hand stopped my next action and pushed me down from her.

"I hurt underneath. ”

She whispered weakly in my ear. I suddenly sobered up a lot, and now I looked at her face like a thief, and I stole what she had been carrying with me for more than twenty years. As soon as I lifted the quilt under my body, the bright red mark pierced into my heart like a bloody knife, I knew that she had never had a boyfriend for so many years, and had never been in contact with other men, and I could know that she was a virgin when I thought of it. I didn't know after I was drunk last night, so I should have thought of it when I saw such a scene when I woke up today, but I never thought about Zhou Fang's feelings, I put all my energy on how to save Li Yan and how to escape from this matter. At this time, I took the initiative to hug Zhou Fang, not to say that I sympathized with her, but because I didn't want to make Zhou Fang's heart cold in this situation, a woman's chastity that had been preserved for more than 20 years was taken away by me in one night because of drunkenness, even if she was willing, then as a man, I couldn't make her feel cold.

"He Fei, do you remember how you and Wen Xue came together? In fact, when I was in junior high school, I was watching you every day, I shouldn't say that it was the two of you, every day you came together in the morning and went home together in the afternoon. At that time, I was very envious of Wen Xue, so every time you went home, I followed you, hoping that one day you would notice me and take me home, but after a long time, it was not you who noticed me first, but Wen Xue. ”

At that ignorant age, Zhou Fang walked into my world because of Wen Xue. At the beginning, I forcibly brought Wen Xue into my world, so that there were only two people in my world, Wen Xue and me, ignoring all the unfamiliar people around me, not knowing what Zhou Fang said today, and I never noticed that there was Zhou Fang not far away, until finally Wen Xue brought Zhou Fang into my world again. Gradually, there are more and more people in my world, and Zhou Fang has become one of the most important people. At that ignorant age, there was a pure friendship between anyone, except for me and Wen Xue.

"I don't know how happy I was to be able to go home with me at that time, I went to your door every morning to wait for you, and took a few bus stops with you alone, which was actually the best time in my whole junior high school. There is also the fact that Wen Xue was sick once and took a few days off, and it was just me and you every day, how I wished that Wen Xue could be sick all the time, so that I could accompany you to school and go home with you every day. In fact, I also wanted to say 'I like you' to you at that time, but your attention was all on Wen Xue, and you were just a follower next to you, and it shouldn't be said that you just treated me as a follower behind Wen Xue. ”

"No, I really thought of you as my best friend at the time, and I never thought about what you said, and besides, we were all young at the time, who thought about that. ”

I didn't know how to pick her up, so I could only hold her tighter and feel her every breath. If I haven't understood what Zhou Fang means now, then I'm really a wood. I never thought that in that ignorant era, I could stay in Zhou Fang's heart, and I still occupy such an important position in the hearts of others. If time can be turned back, I would rather be the protagonist of my love in the past ten years, Wen Xue will not appear in my world again, so that there will be no tragedy in the follow-up story, but the most beautiful love story. But the only regret is that I will miss my girlfriend Li Yan now. Then I am willing to go back, as for the story of me and Li Yan, there is no beginning and no end, maybe without my encounter with her, Li Yan will be happier than now.

(My article was yellow and sealed for me.,I've changed it many times and still haven't passed.,If I change it again, I feel like I've lost my original feeling.,So I haven't updated it for a long time.,I want to give up.,Plus this period of work is heavy.,I rejected this thing in my heart.,The last thing I thought about something was good.,I continued.。 ）