We were in a stalemate in the hospital room for a long time, and the doctor said that the child in my womb was now four months old, and it was basically formed, and it was impossible to have an abortion, so I could only induce labor.

And repeatedly persuaded me for a long time, and asked my husband if he knew about this matter, and he disagreed.

I sat there with a cold face, refusing to listen to what the doctor said, and she showed me the shape of the child in my belly through ultrasound, and he said a lot.

I felt like someone was holding a needle in my skin at the moment, my child who didn't want to watch him crawl out of my belly and watch her grow up step by step.

But I can't ask for him, Lin Anhang loves Susie, I can't use such a life to love someone who doesn't love me, and the child is destined not to be fully loved by his father.

Lin Anhang should hate me now, hate me for forcing him and Susie's children to death with my own hands, hate me for forcing him to such a point.

The doctor was still there and tried to persuade me to think carefully, and I spoke in a hoarse voice for a long time before I said, "Doctor, I plan to divorce."

The doctor looks like he is about 40 years old, and he is a woman who has been a mother for many years, and there is probably no one like me who is used to seeing the life and death of children.

She took off her glasses and asked me, why do you want to divorce, last time your husband accompanied you, the two of you look quite harmonious, there is no contradiction, children are family bonds, if you break this bond, there will be a lack of regrets in the family.

I said, doctor, you don't understand, he had an affair, he was a good sister who I played with since I was a child, we had a big dispute last month, he didn't love me, my good sister was pregnant, I wasn't so generous to let them be together, so I lied to them, I lied to them, as long as my good sister took the child away, I would treat it as if nothing happened, the child was lost the week before, and he fulfilled his promise, but I found that I couldn't be with him anymore, I couldn't accept such a disgusting betrayal, I was going to abort the child, and then divorce, and then I didn't care if he wanted to be with my good sister or notI want it, and they've already paid it back, so

I paused for a long time, but I still said firmly, I can't have this child, since I can't best prepare for her future, I don't want her to be born as a misfortune.

I said this passage very quickly, as if the tone was slower, those sad people will take advantage of the loophole, the doctor took off his glasses and looked at me for a long time, she sighed, almost all of the people who come to me are in a similar situation as you, but you have to think clearly, the child is gone, it is really gone, and now many single mothers choose to live alone with their children, which is not a kind of happiness.

I said, I want to give him a perfect home, but not now.

The doctor put on his glasses again, wrote some on the list, and handed it to me, since you are adamant, I have no right to ask you for anything, sign this, and we will prepare for the operation.

My hand almost trembled and signed the three words Song Wenjing, and then the doctor asked me to go back to take a shower and come to the hospital, and asked me to remember to drink a few glasses of water, I didn't go home to take a bath, I took a bath outside, and the nurse brought me a few glasses of water when I went to the hospital.

I had already changed into a hospital gown, and around the end of the afternoon, the doctor hung a bottle of water for me after looking at my indicators and seeing that there was no problem.

Then he comforted me a few words and told me that the process would be a little painful, just like having a child, but the only difference from having a child is that the child born is dead.

When she said the dead word, my eyelids suddenly jumped, and I lay on the hospital bed and didn't speak for a long time.

After hanging the water, the doctor walked in again, stood in front of my hospital bed, touched my lower abdomen, and asked me again, have you really decided?

In that long wait, I almost wanted to break free from everything and leave the hospital, but when I thought that in the future, if I was pregnant with this child and Lin Anhang for the rest of my life, would I be happy? I am not happy, and it is not a happiness to give birth to him.

Since it is not a kind of happiness, the child is born as a responsibility, and there is no way to give him the best, why should I let him live in this world, it is better to strangle him when he doesn't understand anything, maybe he will be born in a perfect family next time, there will be a mother who loves him, and there will be a father who loves him, and he will grow up healthy and healthy, how good.

The doctor waited for me for a long time, I still had the same answer as before, decided, I am not afraid of pain, doctor, you can continue.

The doctor saw that I didn't hesitate at all, helped me collect the hanging water, and then injected me with an injection that I don't know what it was.

When everything was ready, I felt a little sore in my lower back.

The doctor told me to wait quietly and then went out.

As I lay in bed, I was terrified, like a child who was about to lose something precious, and I looked up at the white ceiling of the ward, and the pain swept over from the previous weakness.

My face was covered in cold sweat, and my stomach felt like there was a pair of pliers cramping in it.

About two hours later, I was screaming in the hospital room in pain, and the doctor came in and looked at me twice, telling me to breathe carefully and not to inhale too much air.

Then I walked out again, I lay on the bed and felt that I was now half dead, and I felt the pain in my stomach like a child struggling under death, he was struggling, and I could faintly hear the cry of a baby in the next room. ，

All of a sudden, I regretted it, and all of a sudden, I couldn't stop the tears.

I can only say sorry repeatedly, I'm sorry, I can't keep you, I'm sorry

When Lin Anhang called, I was lying on the bed and weak, the pain continued, I gritted my teeth and talked to him.

He asked me on the phone when the prenatal checkup would be over, his mother cooked at home and waited for me to go home, I looked at the night outside that was already dark, and said hard, Lin Anhang, I think you still need to come, I am in the hospital.

He said, oh, then I'll pick you up now.

We were all silent for a while, I groaned in pain, Lin Anhang seemed to notice something, and asked, Wen Jing, what's wrong with you?

I sneered, that sentence carried my pain at the moment, but it was extremely happy to say it, I said, Lin Anhang, I induce labor in the hospital.

After I finished speaking, I heard a violent breaking sound from Lin Anhang's end, and it seemed that something made of glass fell to the ground.

There was no sound on the other end of the phone for a long time, and I heard Lin Anhang suddenly say angrily, Song Wenjing!

Yes, I'm just a madman, Lin Anhang, you don't know, this child is the end of the end between us, you made me lose so much one after another, this is all you owe me, the child is gone, and we are clear.

Clear.

There was a beeping sound on the phone, and I lay on the bed with a cold sweat on my face and laughed heartily, he never thought that I would be so desperate, so that all his two children were lost overnight.

Lin Anhang, I'm not afraid of hatred between us, I'm just afraid that we don't hate each other to the point where we want to strangle each other, so that you can rest assured to follow your path, and I am willing to let you and Susie go, and we will not owe each other from now on.

I was lying in bed, tortured by pain, giving birth to a child, and when I had some energy to collapse, I felt that the door of the ward was pushed open.

I turned my head slowly to look, he was standing at the door, the light outside shone in, Lin Anhang's face was pale, his hair was messy on his head, as if he was running all the way over.

He gasped for breath and stared at me as if he was going to kill me, and everything in the room was forbidden, except for his wheezing and my pain.

I smiled at him silently, he looked at me for a long time, and suddenly squatted on the ground against the wall and cried silently, he held his head, I never saw him cry, we have never been married until now.

But he was crying like a child at this moment, as if he had lost something precious, something that had been lost between us.

After I had a miscarriage inside, Lin Anhang cried outside for most of the night.

When everything was in order, I had already tossed my whole body and fell asleep, and when I woke up again, Lin Anhang was sitting on the edge of my bed,

His eyes were full of red, his lips had chapped white skin, and the light in the room illuminated his face pale and weak, he trembled his lips, and said hoarsely, Song Wenjing, I didn't expect you to be so ruthless.

The voice seemed to come from the abyss.

I lay on the bed, looked at his tired and decadent face, smiled weakly, yes, not ruthless, what should I use to repay you and Susie for giving me such a big surprise.

He suddenly stretched out his hand and was about to come over and choke my neck, and said with a hideous face, Do you want me to cut off my children and grandchildren?

I couldn't breathe anymore because he was pinched, and I didn't even have time to struggle when he held me down all night yesterday.

I just felt that his hand around my neck was cold, like one winter when I was mischievously breaking my dad's favorite teacup, he pulled out a frosty stick from outside the ice and snow and came in and beat me hard.

While beating me, he scolded me for being so careless, and it was unlucky to break things in the thirtieth year of the Chinese New Year's Eve, and that year, our whole family trembled for a year.

Just because I broke one of his cups by mistake.

But I'm still having lingering palpitations about that beating, just like the relationship between me and Lin Anhang at the moment, both of which have doubled the deep scars on each other's bodies, I won't let you go, and you won't let me go.