Gu Wan, I have never hated someone as much as I hate you!

This sentence was like a spell, it kept ringing in my ears, I don't know how I got home, I only know that when I got home, I still had fruits and vegetables in my hand that I had planned to put in the city house.

Like an amnesiac person, how to say goodbye to Pei Shaobei, how to go to the supermarket, how to go to the station, I am like a walking corpse, and my soul dissipated as early as when Pei Shaobei said those words.

My mother took what I was holding, a little surprised.

"Why did you buy these things, and you brought them all the way over, and put them directly in the house in the city?"

"I just slept, don't bother him!"

"Oh!" I nodded, and sat down on the wooden bench in the courtyard with a dull expression, and my mother came out to see me after her busy work, and seemed to realize that I was wrong, and asked worriedly, "Wanwan, what's wrong with you?"

"Mom, did I meet Pei Shaobei?" I looked up at her, my eyes smiling, but tears flowed out.

I feel aggrieved, extremely aggrieved. Why do you hate me, I am the one who should be hated, and I am the one who is obviously abandoned, why in the end, it seems that I am sorry for him.

Pei Shaobei's haggard appearance, Pei Shaobei's red eyes slammed the car door, Pei Shaobei's resolute expression of hating me, like a movie playback, kept spinning in my mind, I cried silently, muttering to myself, "Why do you hate me? I didn't do anything to be sorry for him, obviously he was wrong, obviously he owed me!"

My mother crouched in front of me and looked at me with a worried face. "Later, did you talk to Shaobei about Gu Xiao?"

I shook my head, reached out and hugged my mother's neck, crying like a child. "Mom, Pei Shaobei doesn't want me anymore, he doesn't want me for a long time! I know, that's why I secretly sold the house and fled on the grounds of treating my father's illness, I was afraid, afraid that the other party would break up with me, afraid that the relationship I once felt extremely beautiful would end up as unbearable and cruel as when I was with Lin Dong. Mom, I can't bear it, I'm reluctant!"

My mother stretched out her hand to pat me and coax me, "Don't cry at night, you still have your mother and Xiaoxiao." He doesn't want you, forget it, my mother accompanied you to raise Xiaoxiao, you are still young, don't be so desperate!"

My mother's voice choked, and she remembered my father's death, and I couldn't help myself with grief.

I hurriedly reached out to help my mother wipe her tears, but I watched in a panic as the tears flowed more and more, and the sadness in my heart became heavier and heavier in such silent crying. As the sky darkens, night falls, and the light is obscured, and the earth is given nothing but cold and endless darkness.

Gu Xiao woke up at nine o'clock in the evening and was breastfeeding, my mother and I didn't fall asleep, so we simply played with him for a while. Gu Xiao thinks about Pei Shaobei very much, especially his eyebrows and eyes, which are almost exactly the same as him. I looked at Gu Xiao who was smiling, thinking about Pei Shaobei's determination when he finally looked at me, and a strange balance was born in my heart.

This son is mine, and it has nothing to do with him Pei Shaobei.

Didn't he hate me? That's right, never to see each other again, and no one can snatch my son away from me.

"Mom......" Gu Xiao pursed her lips and called a monosyllable in a milky voice, I was stunned, and great joy immediately surged up. Gu Xiao spoke late, and other children would call their mother when they were seven or eight months old, but he couldn't learn. On a night like this, under the orange light, his eyes were bright and clear, looking at me, with all his love and dependence, and muttering "Mom"!

I almost cried with joy, and hugged him in my arms and kissed him fiercely, my mother expressed great dissatisfaction with this, saying that she was the person who accompanied Gu Xiao the most often and the hardest, but in the end, she called her mother first.

The three of us were amusing each other, and it seemed that all the sadness that had happened during the day had been washed away.

In the days that followed, I didn't go to the city again, but helped my mother clean up her old house and prepare for the move. I also invited the neighbors to eat, and without Pei Shaobei's days, life was still full and stable.

I made up my mind not to provoke him again, and a week later, I took my mother and Gu Xiao back to the house in the city. After leaving for a year, many people have become strangers, but Aunt Li came over with fruit very enthusiastically, teased Gu Xiao for a long time, and mentioned her granddaughter in her mouth, I knew that Aunt Li's daughter was married again, and she was married well.

When Aunt Li was leaving, she told my mother, and she was very loud, but she said it to me. "Sister-in-law of the Gu family, this woman, she just can't be alone, no matter how old she is, there must always be a man by her side to help her. Tell me about you two women with a child, and you can't even carry a bucket of water and a bag of noodles, how will you live in the future! Alas, sister-in-law, don't think I'm talking too much, take advantage of the late and young people, hurry up and open up, or in a few years, alas!"

She didn't finish her sentence, and my mother smiled detachedly and sent her to the door perfunctorily. Gu Xiao had been driving for so long, and was held and teased by Aunt Li for a long time, and he was already asleep when he was tired, so I placed him in my former bedroom, and then I came out and said to my mother, "Mom, don't worry about my affairs." I think it's good to be alone, as long as I take care of you and Xiaoxiao, I will find a job as soon as possible, and you can keep the money left over from Dad's medical treatment, I can support you!"

Seeing that I had said it so clearly, my mother didn't force it, but just smiled and echoed, "I know you won't think about emotional issues now, I won't urge you like before, to speak from my heart, I really don't want you and Xiaoxiao, such a big house, without one person, is already empty, if you and Xiaoxiao go again, I, alas, I really don't know what fun is going to be in this day!"

My mother smiled, but her eyes were red, and I felt uncomfortable, when I was in the old house in the countryside, because the traces of my father's life were almost non-existent, even the thoughts would not be so strong. Now that I'm back here, there are memories everywhere, and I'm good to say, after all, after being married for a few years, how can my mother bear it.

I walked over and hugged her, patting her on the back soothingly, "Mom, don't worry, I won't leave you, never." Xiaoxiao and I will always be with you, I swear, no matter whether I will get married in the future, I will not leave you, never!"

My mother pushed me away, wiped away her tears, and scolded with a smile, "Jing is talking some nonsense, is it possible that you will get married and bring the young one over and the old one over?

"Don't pull it down, I'm fine!" I grimaced, turned around and continued to clean up the house, my mother came to help, but proposed, "Why don't you let Xiaoxiao live in the big bedroom with me, this side is sunny, Xiaoxiao's skin is sensitive, and the sun is always good!"

I knew that my mother was afraid to sleep alone, and I didn't understand the feeling of loneliness. In my marriage with Lin Dong, I often fell into such loneliness, but there was too much separation between life and death, and I couldn't really understand it.

"Okay, if you don't dislike him and make you sleep, then let him sleep here, the three of us are still the same as when we were in the old house in the countryside, how about a bed?"

Mother nodded very happily, and hurriedly cleaned up, none of us mentioned the matter of setting up a tablet for my father, as if we had come all of a sudden, and in the face of such a real memory, we could not face up to such a kind of regret and pain.

There is nothing wrong with the cowardice of human nature. I looked at my mother's busy figure and sighed softly.

There are some things that she doesn't do, so I'll do it.

After going through so much, I am no longer the wayward little girl I used to be, and I no longer have the protection that my parents don't want to reciprocate, and I now finally understand the role I play in this family.

I became the new guardian, the guardian of this family, guarding the people who love me the most, and the people I love the most.

In the new environment, the child couldn't sleep well and cried all night. Mother couldn't coax her so much that she woke up Aunt Li next door.

I heard a knock on the door and went over to open the door, and when I saw Aunt Li in her pajamas, she said a little apologetically, "I'm sorry, Aunt Li, the child is not very peaceful when he changes places, and it makes you noisy, right? I'm sorry, I'm really sorry!"

I was anxious to apologize, and I was also anxious. Aunt Li ignored me, but walked in the direction of the bedroom, and said as she went, "You people, how can you say hello, whose house is this? You just live in like this, I don't know if the child can see something that shouldn't be seen? I see, it's the child's grandfather who misses the child!"

On the big night, I was a little creepy by Aunt Li's words. It's not that I haven't heard of it before, and it's easy for children to encounter something they shouldn't encounter before they are three years old. However, I, a university teacher, only listen to these nonsense as jokes, where will I believe it. But now, the child's crying was rapid and anxious, and the surrounding environment seemed as if the father really existed in this space.

Aunt Li and her mother were of the same age, and the two of them were convinced of this superstitious statement. After being reminded by Aunt Li, the mother immediately began to chant into the empty air, which is nothing more than to let the father's soul not make the child sleep because of missing the child. But he couldn't stop it, so he had to go over and hold the child in his arms, and let these two people burn incense and chant around the house, crying and laughing.

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