I just remembered that I still have a grandmother who needs to be taken care of, and I care a lot less about her for Zhuang Yan now, and I will even take her out for a walk after dinner will be absent-minded.

Since the last time she had a conflict with her because she asked her to come over, she has never seen my aunt and uncle in front of me, nor has she ever seen my aunt come to the small house again.

Thinking of this, I went to the kitchen to look at my grandmother, her face was sallow, and her breathing voice was a little cloudy like that of some old people: "Grandma, are you okay?"

I looked up at me in surprise, and then lowered my head to choose a dish: "Just choose a dish, how can you be so squeamish? Play with Yuanyuan, go out more when you have time, don't always be sad." ”

I breathed a sigh of relief, and when I turned around to leave, my grandmother hesitated and asked, "Are you in conflict with him?" Xixi, don't be too wronged yourself, grandma is looking forward to your well, I have dragged you down......"

The old lady blamed herself again, and I quickly looked back at her with a smile: "What did grandma say, we are fine, we have worked hard, I will come over to stir-fry later." ”

Bao Yuanyuan is quite right, she just approved my proposal earlier, and now she is taking the initiative to contact Jiangyang.

I saw the brightness in her eyes, and I knew that she was really ready to let go of her courage to be with Jiang Yang: "Yuanyuan, when will Brother Jiang come out and let me make a light bulb, I want to ask him about Zhuang Yan." ”

Bao Yuanyuan smiled brightly, with a little tears in her eyes: "Wow, but this guy always says that he is abusive, and he can't be dedicated to me, and now he refuses to be nice to me." I didn't think he was old, he thought I was too young. But it's okay, he's just afraid that he will delay me, and I can afford it. Xixi, you're right, anyway, we're still young, so I can't delay this relationship for two years, it's better than losing my soul all day and night. ”

I was so envious of the way she looked at her eyebrows.

I am thinking about going back to my hometown to reapply for the household registration book as soon as possible, and I want to get the certificate from Zhuang Yan as soon as possible, but I am afraid that he will not agree.

The next day, I asked for leave to go back to my hometown to get a certificate, and after I stuffed a cigarette for the village chief, he asked people to take me to the village committee to get a certificate and get an official seal. The process was very smooth, but when they went to the police station to handle it, they had to let the grandmother of the head of the household go there in person, so the process was still delayed.

When I went back that day, I mentioned to Zhuang Yan about getting the certificate first, but he didn't respond.

When I called, he didn't answer for a while, not knowing if he was busy or deliberately hanging me. Maybe it's because he used to be weird, so I always think that he deliberately restrained his feelings when he contacted me now. I don't know if it's my delusion, but I feel that he is more conflicted about my feelings now, and he doesn't seem to know how to deal with it.

On the way home, Zhuang Yan's father called me and asked me if I had advised Zhuang Yan to go abroad to recuperate: "Why is he so busy with work in the past two days that he is even more busy than before? Did you persuade him?"

I choked for two seconds, and I had a feeling of bitterness that I couldn't say: "Uncle," at this time, almost a flash of inspiration, I suddenly wanted to ask something from him, and quickly tried my best to suppress the fluttering heart, and said in a calm tone as much as possible, "He has been very upset recently because Sister Yaru's father is very bad, and he is not worried about throwing the mess in the company to you." ”

I guessed these words, because I suddenly remembered the picture of Jiangyang's house in my mind, and remembered that Zhuang Yan told me that Zhao Yaru's father was a little crazy. In fact, as early as after Jiang Yang's father was released from prison, I felt that some kind of balance between their families had been disrupted, but I think that if something happened to Zhuang Yan's family, it should have something to do with Zhao Yaru's father.

Sure enough, Zhuang Yan's father probably thought that I knew a little bit about the situation, and sighed a few times before saying: "He knows everything? The affairs of our generation have nothing to do with his junior, you just let him take care of his own body, I am an old bone, I haven't lived for a few years, and I don't need him to carry it if I have grievances and hatreds." ”

It really has something to do with Zhao Yaru's father, I don't know if it has anything to do with Jiang Yang's father going to prison, I feel my voice start to tremble: "But he divorced Sister Yaru, and he has already been involved." ”

Zhuang Yan's father must have heard that something was wrong with me, and did not continue the topic after saying "um" meaninglessly: "He doesn't have to worry about family affairs, you persuade him to go out early to recuperate." ”

Isn't he always busy with work and can't come to see me? So now I run to his house on weekends. Anyway, his dad already nodded, so I don't care if they think I'm thick-skinned.

But there's something wrong with living in his house, he won't do that kind of thing with me at home.

It's not that I'm particularly eager to be skin-to-skin with him, but I think that harmony in that aspect is very emotional. So after staying at his house for one night on Friday, I sneaked out and opened a room on Saturday night.

I sent him the room number, and he was not very happy to call me and ask me about the situation: "It's unhygienic outside, so I went home and slept in the room." ”

There are old people and children in the family, and I agree: "You haven't eaten rabbit meat for a long time, don't you want to?" I just saw a bar nearby, I'll go drink later, I don't want to come or not. ”

After I said this, I hung up, and I blocked him from having me in his heart, and he definitely wouldn't let me mess around outside.

Actually, I didn't dare to go to the bar alone, I just bought two small cans of beer from the supermarket and brought them back to my room, opened one of them and poured it violently.

I used to hate men with the smell of alcohol on my body, and I didn't like men who drank because my uncle's shadow was too serious. However, when people say that change will change, when Zhuang Yan smells of alcohol, although I am also a little disgusted, I have never had a little dislike for him.

Some principles used to be like thorns in my body, but when they touched him, they all turned into finger twisters.

Zhuang Yan called me again, but I didn't answer, in order to be realistic, I ran outside the bar and took two photos and sent them over. But I didn't dare to stay outside the bar for too long, so I went back to my room after taking pictures.

I think I'm naïve enough for this behavior, but I'm also being forced by him now, and I can't think of any other good way, and I urgently need him to make some promises with me. I've endured so much hard work, and I can't give up at the last moment, I think whoever is in my position will be unwilling.

But I waited for more than half an hour before I heard someone knocking on the door, and the angry knock on the door looked like it was coming to collect a debt. I quickly took another sip of beer, then poured some beer and smeared it on my clothes, and I poured the rest into the toilet.

I sniffed it, and the smell of alcohol on my body was a little obvious, I should have been in a bar.

As soon as the door opened, Zhuang Yan glared at me like a red-eyed lion: "What do you want to do? Go to the bar alone, buy drunk, have an affair? Do you know that there are many men waiting for a one-night stand?"

He choked on a series of questions so that I couldn't find the words to respond for a long time, and finally simply snorted sullenly: "Anyway, you are lukewarm to me now, didn't you say that I should find a good man to marry? I am looking for it now, you also know that I am short-sighted, I think I am not innocent now, no good man would be willing to marry a woman like me who has given birth, instead of marrying a man like my uncle, I might as well find a ...... in the city."

I said these things on purpose, these are my previous thoughts, and of course they have changed now. I had written these words in my previous diary, so Zhuang Yan knew that I had indeed had this kind of thought. He was so angry that he grabbed my face and kissed me, kissed me the mouth, and bit my lip so hard that I gasped in pain.

When I went to the supermarket just now, I even bought a condom for him, and he used to think about letting me get pregnant and give birth to a son to make his dad nod, but now his dad nodded and he never said anything about letting me give him a son. So I secretly pierced all the condoms I bought, the kind that I wouldn't notice if I didn't look closely.

Why does he think it's wrong for me to wait for him, why should I marry someone else? If something really happens to him, I just have to wait for five or ten years, and I am willing, as long as there is love, what hurdle can I not get over?

This time I was very proactive, and I responded in a random manner, but I kept pulling his clothes and taking the initiative to pick his belt and drill into his pants. I've never been like this before because I feel embarrassed.

He is a normal man who has been abstinent for a while, how can he not be emotional.

I put on a condom for him before I took the initiative to sit on him, so that he wouldn't stop and disrupt his rhythm halfway through.

I feel like I'm completely ashamed, and I don't even know who I am when I twist my body around. So sometimes people really go crazy, and I am now, and I am forced by him.

After a storm, I lay on top of him and gasped, so tired that my whole body was paralyzed. It was really too passionate just now, and my mind is still confused. I'm sure he's also in the dark, because what he just did is certainly out of his sanity.

I was afraid that he would say stupid things again, so I refused to let him go, and took the initiative to grope for kisses on him. I'm just worried about one thing now, I just drank two sips of beer, and if I really get pregnant, I don't know if it will affect the fetus, and I don't know if he smokes and drinks when he is socializing recently, it should also have an impact.

I was still thinking about this nonsense when he rolled over and crushed me underneath.

His ** was hooked out by me, like a volcanic eruption failed to contain, and when he changed his sleeve to start the second round of collision, I felt like I was about to fall apart. When I was about to climb the peak, I hugged his neck and said in a trembling voice: "Let's get the certificate." ”

He shook violently a few times, and his body suddenly froze.