I don't know if there will be any women who will like me in the future. Thinking about it, I don't understand why I still think about it now, maybe in my bones I still hope that a beautiful woman will save me. But where is that woman, why hasn't she been in my life for the past 25 years? Maybe it has happened, but I didn't cherish it, and I missed the happiness that should have belonged to me.

After the second cigarette, I stood up, spread my hands, stretched, and prepared to go downstairs.

It's work time at the moment, but I don't want to go to work now, because I don't want to face Han Xinyu, let alone myself after the breakup.

I went downstairs like a bodyless, walking corpse, and looked at the hurried crowd and the cars coming and going, and felt very small.

I have been in this city for more than two years, why am I still so small. Looking at so many cars speeding past me, I was very depressed. Why do they have cars, houses, and women in this city? Why didn't I?

Faced with this unsolvable problem, I feel very difficult. At this time, I wanted to find someone to chat, vent the dissatisfaction in my heart, took out my mobile phone, there were not a few sincere buddies who could be contacted and chatted, seeing Zhao Liu's mobile phone number, I wanted to call, but I thought that he had returned to his hometown now, or this time he was still busy opening a store, so I dispelled the idea of calling Zhao Liu, I didn't want to tell him about my headache, which was thousands of miles away, so that he was disappointed in me.

I looked through the phone book again and saw Li Jianqiang, one of the few buddies in this city, hoping that Li Jianqiang had returned from Xuzhou. Thinking of this, I pressed the dial-through button, and within a few seconds, Li Jianqiang's voice came: "Lezi, what are you doing on the phone at this time?"

I said, "Are you back now, and if you do, come to the 'euphemistic bar' that we often go to." ”

"What's the matter? ”

"Damn, why are you talking so much nonsense, let's talk about it later. "I guess it's because I'm in a bad mood at the moment, because I faced Li Jianqiang's questioning and burned my anger at him.

"Ahh ”

"Damn, you give me the right words. Come or not. ”

"Listen to your tone, it looks like you've been by society again. ”

"You were really right, and I was really by society. I don't know what's going on with this Li Jianqiang today, I like to ask questions, but it's not usually like this, so I asked again: "Your uncle, what's going on today? Why are there so many words." ”

"I'm in a good mood, and besides, I am all civilized people, and I have to pay attention to what I say. ”

I was so angry with this Li Jianqiang that I was a mess, and I really wanted to take a brick and send him a few times. Damn, I thought of this grandson, and I wrote a novel of two million words in * swayingly, and was infatuated by a female fan, and ran from Xuzhou to Suzhou to find my grandson, and I stubbornly broke Li Jianqiang's will not touch women. Just think about it, I'm angry, why does this grandson have such a good life. Isn't it just writing a novel? What's so great, if Lao Tzu writes, he will definitely lose a large number of people, but it's a pity that Lao Tzu has the patience and perseverance.

Damn, Li Jianqiang's grandson must be happy in Xuzhou now. That's why I've changed my temper today, and I'm pretending to be here.

I'm really angry, as a friend, I'm very lonely now, I want to find a true friend to tell my heart about the bitterness, but this true friend is so happy. Damn, I feel sad when I think about it, Zhao Liu's grandson also has his own home, and Li Jianqiang also has his own home, but I am the only one who is wandering around like a down-and-out lonely soul.

Thinking of this, I seem to be very lonely, in order not to let this lonely psychology continue to extend, I now no matter whether Li Jianqiang returns to Suzhou or not, I am determined to let my grandson appear in front of me and feel this loneliness with me. Thinking of this, I said angrily: "Damn, have you come back, if you don't come back, now immediately roll me back to Suzhou, your buddy I am about to be ruined by this society now, if you don't come back to save my soul, then wait to collect my body!"

"Is it so serious? Aren't you invulnerable, iron-blooded, why did you say these deadly words to me this morning? Li Jianqiang said unhurriedly.

"Damn, your uncle. You can't come back at all. Lao Tzu is really uncomfortable now. If you don't give me an accurate word, I'll hang up the phone, too lazy to waste a conversation with you here. ”

I was about to hang up the phone as I spoke, and Li Jianqiang's grandson finally said something to me: "For my brother's sake, I'll be back in the afternoon." You calm down now, don't think about it, find a noodle and hang yourself. ”

Hearing that this grandson has not forgotten me at this time, I really want to greet his ancestor. Just as I was about to speak, the grandson hung up the phone without waiting for me to speak.

I looked at the phone that had been hung up. I felt inexplicably at the bottom of the well again, and I couldn't see what kind of tribulations would come to torment me in the future. Since you can't see it now, and you can't think of it, don't think about it.

The pedestrians on the road still hurried past me, no one paying attention to my painful feelings at this time, I was like a patient with no cure abandoned by the whole world. Only silently waiting for the call of death.

I feel that I am the loneliest and loneliest person in the world, as if I am living a waste, wasting the country's education, wasting the country's food, and wasting the nurturing grace of my parents.

If you really want to give me a valuable statement, it may be that there is only one, and that is the manure machine.

It is painful to live, but I don't have the courage to choose death.

I laughed at myself, why fear death if there is no point in living, and death may be the best relief.

Because I was afraid of death, I found a reason for myself to live, and finally found a reason that even I thought was ridiculous, that is, I still don't know why Zhang Qian broke up with me on the day of graduation.

Perhaps that's the best reason why I haven't chosen to die yet.

Since death is not a choice, one should choose a place where you can spend the rest of your time.

Thinking of this, I dragged my body through the crowd and walked towards a nightclub that I frequented.

It didn't take half an hour to arrive at the nightclub, because it was daytime, the people in the nightclub were very scarce, and it was a clear contrast to the night. I didn't leave here because there were few people. Because at this moment, I really want to be quiet, think about what the future should be, the current company can't go back, even if Han Xinyu doesn't want to fire me, I don't want to continue to stay in that sad place.

Because staying there will only make the two of them more embarrassed and uncomfortable.