"We live in a world of idlers and waiting, where everyone melts into each other. ”

Gao Yala muttered, looking at Li Zheng, she suddenly wanted to ask, in your world, am I considered an "idle person", or a "relevant person"?

She suddenly remembered a poem she had seen on the Internet, the poem said, the past life 500 times to look back in exchange for the next life to rub shoulders, at that time, she only felt that the poem was written very beautifully, very meaningful, but when she faced it, and then remembered this poem, only to feel that the person in the poem is really stupid, since you are willing to look back 500 times for a person, why don't you have the courage to work hard?

500 times to look back only for the next life to rub shoulders? I don't have the courage, but I regard cowardice as giving, and stupidity as true love, if I really like each other, why don't you dare to take that step?

She remembered the sentence she saw in "East Evil and West Poison", I always thought it was me who won, until one day I looked in the mirror and realized that I lost, and when I was at my best, my favorite people were not by my side.

Thinking of this, there was no hesitation in her heart, she suddenly turned around and looked at Li Zheng: "Li Zheng, we've known each other for a year, right?"

Li Zheng nodded, puzzled: "En." What's wrong?"

Gao Yala said, "If I have a problem that bothers me, can you help me solve it?"

Li Zheng looked at the girl suspiciously, nodded again, and said, "As long as I can." ”

Gao Yala stared at Li Zheng with both eyes, and said calmly: "I like a boy, he is very smart, I have confessed to him vaguely several times, I know that he understands, but he pretends not to understand, divert the topic, how do you think I should tell him to make him confess?"

Li Zheng looked away, turned around and lay on the guardrail, and said in a low voice: "He understands your words, and he pretends not to know, that can only mean that you two ...... It doesn't fit. ”

"Whether it's suitable or not, who knows if you haven't tried it. ”

Gao Yala looked at the boy: "It's like a garment, if you don't wear it on your body, how do you know if it fits?"

Li Zheng didn't answer, he looked at the night sky and fell silent.

Gao Yala just kept looking at him, after a long time, she turned around, like a boy, also lying on the guardrail, looking at the night sky, silent for a moment, she said softly: "Some people told me that it was a mistake to like him, and some people told me that he was very dangerous, don't just see the good in him, and some people told me that he has his own dreams, has his persistence in life, and before the dream is achieved, he will not change for any woman, and it will be my life's mistake to choose him......"

Li Zheng interjected and said: "You should listen to them, they are right, he is a mistake, and it is not worth your choice." ”

Gao Yala hooked the corners of her mouth and suddenly smiled: "Yes, maybe they are indeed right." ”

After a slight pause, she looked at the night sky and said softly: "But I think that life is short, the years are easy to get old, people only have a few decades in their lives, and the best years are only a few years, the world's population is more than 6 billion, and Seoul is more than 10 million, what are the chances of people meeting the person they really like in their lifetime." Before making a choice, there may be many things in life that you think are wrong, but no one can be sure if they are right or wrong without experiencing it. Life is very short, years are fleeting, I don't want to meet someone I like, just rub shoulders with him, so, I'd rather make mistakes, but don't want to miss out. ”

Li Zheng turned his head to look at Gao Yala, and asked in a low voice, "I know it's wrong, but I still have to choose?"

Gao Yala turned her head and looked directly at the boy: "Yes, I am willing to make this mistake, even if it turns out that I am really wrong, I don't want to regret it in the future because I missed it." ”

Hearing Gao Yala's words and looking at the girl, the corners of Li Zheng's mouth suddenly hooked, as if mocking and self-deprecating: "What you see is only the good things he is showing now, but you don't know anything about his past, if you know his past abroad, understand his darkest and ugliest side, you may not be so sure." ”

Gao Yala didn't care about Li Zheng's seemingly mocking tone, she looked at him directly and said, "As long as he is willing to tell me, I'm not afraid to understand." ”

Li Zheng looked at Gao Yala, and in the face of the girl's unevasive gaze, he looked away again.

He leaned on the guardrail, looked into the distance, and fell silent again.

He was a little afraid to face Gao Yala, and the girl's bravery and frankness made his heart flutter and it was difficult to calm down.

He has been a self-disciplined person since he was a child, such a person is often not good at expressing emotions, and sees the expression of emotions as a symbol of weakness, so he has always been closed in his emotional state.

But a person with strong self-discipline does not mean that he will not lose control, the more self-disciplined a person loses control, the more unpredictable the results will be, he has been out of control, he knows how he will affect him and the people around him after losing control, so after returning to South Korea, he has been cautious and clean, and does not want to let himself show signs of losing control again.

This is also the reason why his acting skills will be hindered.

Park Seung-deok's teacher told him that the key to solving the problem was to liberate one's nature, and to learn to act, that is, to learn how to expose vulnerability to others.

He knows what the problem is, but it has been difficult to solve it, because he doesn't dare to let go of himself completely.

He didn't know what kind of unpredictable state he was in front of others when he completely let go of himself.

Is it self-discipline, or is it ugly?

But if you want to go further in your acting skills and achieve your dreams, problems always have to be solved.

As Gaujara just said, before making a choice, there may be many things in life that you think are wrong, but if you haven't experienced it, no one can be sure whether it's right or wrong.

At this moment, the girl's brave and frank confession, and the dilemma that is difficult to break through in her acting skills, finally made Li Zheng completely determined, and now it is time to make a decision.

He turned and looked at Goyala: "Okay, since you want to know, then I'll tell you, let you know the darkness behind his glamour, know the weakness of his heart, his ruthlessness, his selfishness, his depravity, the ugliest part of his humanity." ”

Li Zheng looked at the girl and said calmly: "I won't say much about the story before he left South Korea, just start with the accident that happened to him in 03."

In 03, because of an accident, he injured his throat and could no longer realize his dream of becoming a singer.

Many people thought that he had suffered a heavy blow and was in a slump, because even the company replanned for him and wanted him to develop as an actor, but he also delayed and refused. He has always shown relief in front of people, but others think that he is just pretending, pretending to be strong, pretending that everything is still normal, even his best friend since childhood, thinks so.

But the truth is that he was not as depressed as others imagined about the accident that caused him to have a throat problem, he was a little sad, but more of a relieved relief.

No one knows that he is tired of being strong, tired of training, tired of carrying dreams, and tired of living in the expectations of others......

He is very handsome, he is very smart, he is the first in the school in every exam, and he has excellent results in every trainee test, so everyone looks at him and takes it for granted that he should be like that, that is him, the kind of person that everyone should become...... So even if he has an indifferent attitude, even if he enters the company later than others, even if he is younger than others, even if many people hate him, many people envy him, and many people love him, but in front of him, he still feels that he will be inferior to him......

He's the center of attention, the one who shines brightest in the crowd, so he has to be the best......

He has to be good, because that's what he deserves!

But he hates these, he hates excellence, he hates being the focus, he hates being a role model for others, he hates what others deserve, because every day when he wakes up, he has to remind himself, he has to work hard, he has to meet the expectations of others, he can't rest, he can't slack off, he has to be the best, because that's what everyone sees him.

But he hates it all, he's tired, really tired, he doesn't want to be strong.

So, when the accident that caused him a throat problem, when there was a reason, a reason to convince everyone else that he could escape, he finally had an excuse, an excuse to deceive himself and others. He deceived himself and said that I tried my best, not because I wanted to escape, but because I was not qualified to persevere.

Even though he knew in his heart that it was just an excuse, he still lied to himself into believing it.

Because, only in this way, he can leave.

Sitting on the plane, when the plane lifted off and looked down through the window, he thought he would be reluctant, but he only felt relieved......"

Gao Yala listened quietly, staring at Li Zheng's face, motionless, thinking about the pressure the boy was under when he was young, she only felt a heavy heart, and there were bursts of unspeakable discomfort.

"Coming to the U.S. is a new beginning.

After being admitted to university, he was surrounded by strangers and no one knew him, so he could finally vent as much as he wanted, regardless of other people's eyes.

He lived a drunken life in the United States, he indulged his desires like a wild dog breaking free from his collar, drinking, indulgence, drag racing, adventure, promiscuity, and he tried everything that could excite him except drugs...... In order to pursue excitement, he once planned with his friends to sleep with girls in all 50 states in the United States in a year, and once, just because he made a bet with his friends, he went to pursue a girl in the school who vowed not to have premarital xing and wore chastity vows, but when he got the girl, during the relationship with the girl, he went behind her back and with others......

He vented his desires wantonly, treated everything as a game, and even changed nine girlfriends in a month at the craziest time, and among the many girlfriends he dated, his longest relationship did not last for half a year......

He doesn't believe in love, he just treats love as a game, as a tool to pass the time of boredom, he doesn't care about others, he doesn't care that it will hurt the other party, he only cares about himself......

When everything is untied and his true nature is exposed, he is such a dark person.

When he returned to South Korea, he seemed to be clean only because he was temporarily tired of that, because he had his own goals, a dream that he needed to fulfill, a dream that required him to maintain his image, and a dream that required him to become a different person. But the essence of a person does not change, he is very selfish and depraved, he is just a beast with a mask, he does not take off the mask, you never know how ugly he is in his bones. ”

Li Zheng lowered his head and looked at Gao Yala: "Like such a selfish, abusive, depraved, game-by-life, and irresponsible man, do you still think he is worthy of your choice?"

"Flutter-"

Looking at Li Zheng's serious expression, for some reason, Gao Yala burst out laughing, and her originally heavy mood suddenly became comfortable, as if she had just heard Li Zheng tell a very funny joke, and after a while, she gasped for breath, looked at Li Zheng, and laughed again: "Li Zheng, do you think you are writing a novel? I almost believed you." ”

After a slight pause, seeing Li Zheng's serious expression, he looked at him again and said, "Okay." Even if everything you say is true, then I'm willing to make that mistake. Like I said, I'd rather be wrong than miss out. ”

Li Zheng shook his head helplessly: "What I said is the truth, whether you believe it or not." ”

Looking at Gao Yala, Li Zheng said again: "As you heard, my life is not as glorious as what you see now, I have also been debauched, and I have also fallen...... When I was in the United States, I had a lot of relationships with women and made many women sad, and in their mouths, the word bastard was the best synonym for me...... Do you still want to know about such a real me?"

After finishing speaking, Li Zheng smiled self-deprecatingly and turned his head to the side.

Li Zheng...... Kiss me!"

In the face of Li Zheng's questioning, Gao Yala suddenly raised her head slightly, crossed her ten fingers behind her back, and under the white light, a pair of beautiful eyes closed gently, and her long eyelashes trembled slightly in the night breeze.

After waiting for a while, feeling that there was no touch on her lips, the girl opened her eyes gently, looking at Li Zheng's complicated expression, she laughed "sneer", and then stood on tiptoe and put her arms around Li Zheng's neck, and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Well, even if you have had many girlfriends in the past, they are your past and I am your present, so I won't be jealous of them. If a person is always troubled by the past, he will never be happy. ”

Speaking of this, Gao Yala tilted her head slightly and looked directly into the boy's eyes, and said sincerely: "Maybe as you said, you do have a very imperfect past, but everyone will have unbearable experiences, no one is truly perfect, and the past, whether it is beautiful or ugly, it is only a part of us."

But a person's past is not representative of the person's present.

We all make mistakes along the way in life, but it is because of these mistakes that we become perfect and better than we used to be. There is a sentence in the book that no one lives in the past, and no one lives in the future, and the present is the only form that we are sure to have. Just like Li Zheng I liked, what I like is not him in the past, nor is it him in the future, I like him, because it is his present that makes my heart move. I really like you, Li Zheng, so, no matter what the final result is, I will never regret my current decision.

Li Zheng, I like you! Would you like to ...... Do you want to be in a relationship with me?"