Zhang Zhongxing saluted and said to Yang Ru'e: "I don't even know that you are in Nanning, if you encounter any trouble in Nanning, you can also come to me, I can help, I will definitely help you." ”

"Okay! thank you," Yang Ru'e nodded, not humble nor arrogant.

The contest between the adults is as good as if each side has taken a ruler, and the scale is no more and no less, and the grasp is just right.

Before leaving, Zhang Zhongxing stopped and said a few words to Zhang Yan, he touched Zhang Yan's head, "Xiao Yan, if you are free in the future, remember to come to Dad, our father and son have not seen each other for a long time." ”

Zhang Zhongxing looked at Zhang Yan, and finally returned to the mother and daughter standing at the gate not far away, until the three of them gradually disappeared from Yang Ru'e's sight.

Yang Ru'e turned her head and said to Zhang Yan weakly: "Xiao Yan, what your father said is the same, you also have to walk around with him more, he is still your own father." ”

"Hmm!" Zhang Yan nodded, now that his mother was very weak, he didn't want to make her angry anymore, she was tired enough.

The mourning ceremony passed quickly, and everything still went according to the process of the funeral home, when the body of the grandmother was pushed into the crematorium, Zhang Yan was tightly grabbed by his mother and did not let him chase him.

Even if his heart was broken, he would still support his mother and prevent her from falling, but he still endured it.

He hugged his mother, she was thin, all she touched was a thin skeleton, he felt sorry for his mother was so helpless, she was the same as himself, she had nothing but each other.

After waiting for the ashes to come out for more than an hour, the mother and son finally stopped crying.

On the afternoon of the cremation, Yang Ru'e and Zhang Yan took Grandma back to Baise, they found a good cemetery for Grandma, standing in front of the cemetery, you can see the turquoise river of the reservoir, this time there are many people who come to worship in their hometown, they are relatives and friends in the family, as well as neighbors, they said, I hope Grandma will definitely go to heaven with a good heart.

Although Baise is not as big as in Nanning, the neighbors here are very enthusiastic, and there is no need to go to Zhang Luo one by one to help with the funeral, after the funeral, Zhang Yan entrusted his mother to the neighbors, and then told them that he wanted to stay in the cemetery for a while.

Yang Ru'e is really tired these days, she did it all by herself at the funeral in Nanning, and she really didn't have time to care about him after being busy, she asked her son with tired eyes.

"Mom, I just want to accompany Grandma well, you can rest assured, I can take care of myself, and I will go back later." ”

The neighbor helped his mother back and vaguely heard them say: "Xiao Yan has the best relationship with his grandmother, she loves him, and he loves her." ”

They do have a good relationship, grandma has loved him since he was a child, and when everyone was tired of him, she brought him warmth and encouragement, but now he let grandma lie alone on the cold floor of the house, helplessly leaving life.

Zhang Yan has been kneeling in front of Grandma's tombstone, stroking the black and white photo on the tombstone, Grandma smiled at him very peacefully, Grandma never left him, and always smiled at him peacefully in his heart.

The marble tombstone was very cold, Zhang Yan thought, would it be very cold for Grandma underground? He slowly approached the tombstone, as if he threw himself into Grandma's arms, not letting her be alone and lonely.

Grandma has felt sorry for him since he was a child, but before he graduated and worked to make money to buy things for Grandma, she left him and left, Zhang Yan finally said that when he graduated, he would make money to buy a big house, take her to travel, and see the beauty of nature, but none of these could be realized.

Even if she has the ability to do it in the future, it will be too late, it will be too late for anything, Grandma's ashes have been laid to rest forever in the ground, and she will never need it anymore.

In the past few days of tossing, Zhang Yan was sleepy and tired, and there were scars on his body from being beaten by his mother, every time he moved, he felt as if his body was about to fall apart, his tired eyes were about to open, slowly leaning on his grandmother's tombstone, slowly relaxing his body, he was so tired, he gradually lost consciousness, his eyelids slowly closed, and he fell asleep.

When he woke up again, it was already evening and it was time for him to go home, and in a short time he had a dream that felt like it was long, long.

He dreamed of Grandma, Dad, Mu Yao, and related people, he hoped that all this was a dream, if it was really a dream, everything he woke up from was fake, and everything he woke up from his dream would leave him.

Zhang Yan got up, he found that he was wearing an inch shirt, the smell on the inch shirt was very familiar, he saw Mu Yao standing on the side, she also looked haggard, her face was not as ruddy and shiny as before, she looked at herself guiltily.

What qualifications does she have to appear next to Grandma's grave, "You go, you let me go! Grandma doesn't want to see you." Zhang Yan scolded her with a deep resentment in his heart, he wanted to scold her more, but he was really physically and mentally exhausted now, and he had no strength at all, so he pulled off the shirt he wore on himself and threw it on the ground, leaving the cemetery angrily.

When he returned home, the yard was in a mess, and several neighbors were working hard to clean up, and the custom in his hometown, Pepsi and Red Things were almost as grand as the Red Affair, which was obviously a very sad thing, but I don't know why everyone had to make it lively and noisy to let everyone know.

Zhang Yan looked around, there were still some people still talking and laughing, and even some people were hugging each other when they saw their old acquaintances, as if they were just coming to "party" He seemed to see what others were talking about, but in fact, all this was none of their business at all, whether it was life or death, health or illness was none of their business, they were just like a passerby, or a bystander. Watching him ache in pain.

After a few days, the hometown returned to the peaceful life of the past, history was baptized by time as if all this had not happened at all, but now it is exceptionally quiet compared to usual, even the air is filled with loneliness, this home is less protagonist, and it seems that it has become no longer boiling at all.

This incident hurt him a lot, Zhang Yan has always felt guilty, blaming himself, blaming himself for killing his grandmother, sometimes he would hide at home, sitting on the ground in a dark corner and hugging his knees, he was thinking about the warmth that Grandma gave him in the past, he was ashamed of her.

Yang Ru'e is not in good spirits, but she has always been a person who has come over, and after the first seven days with her grandmother in her hometown, the phone calls from Nanning are getting more and more urgent day by day, and the days will go on after being sad, and the business over there cannot be sloppy at all, but she can not rest assured.

She wanted to take Zhang Yan back to Nanning, but that place in Nanning would only make him feel that there was only hurt and no warmth, and he refused with his mother, Zhang Yan said that he didn't want to go, he said that he wanted to accompany his grandmother more, and lived in the old house where his grandmother had lived for most of her life.

When Yang Ru'e was leaving, she looked at Zhang Yan and wanted to say something, her mouth opened, but she didn't say it, she understood Zhang Yan, all this is not something that can be passed by talking about it, he has grown up, and he should learn to know what it is to let go.

The mother was too unexpected, she was very busy these days, and she didn't ask Zhang Yan what he was doing that night, but with her experience in society, the strawberry marks on her son's neck that day had clearly told her what the answer was, and she still didn't ask him.

Yang Ru'e returned to Nanning, there were so many pedestrians on the street of Baise, but Zhang Yan still felt that Baise was the only one in himself, and he was alone when he walked there, a very lonely person.

In addition to reading, he just sat alone in a daze, and if he was sleepy, he would climb into bed and go to sleep. But when he lies in bed, he can't fall asleep again and again, sometimes he can finally sleep quietly, but when he wakes up, he always feels that he is not sleeping very well, very troubled, and he often dreams some related dreams. When I woke up again, it was as if I had forgotten what I had dreamed about, and I just saw the empty room.

He repeats yesterday's life every day, the whole person is out of balance, he has no motivation at all, he feels very lost, he doesn't know what he should do, what to do, live like a walking corpse, he doesn't care about anything.

Such a depressed life is repeated every day, he loses weight day by day, and his resistance has also decreased a lot, and his face, which was round less than a month ago, is now sharper.

He doesn't want to integrate into the outside society, and when he goes out, he just buys some daily necessities, and every time he goes out, he can feel a shadow behind him secretly following him, and when he looks back, he only sees passers-by on the street.

In fact, he already knew that Mu Yao was secretly following him, she still lived in the hotel opposite her hometown, and she would send a glass of milk to hang on the door every day.

Wherever he went, she followed, like a dog's skin plaster, but she just followed him and didn't come to talk to him, only kept the distance between them, even if she followed him all the time, what could they do, they couldn't go back, since he learned of Grandma's death that morning, they weren't the same as before.

He also tried to ask himself in his heart, did he hate her? At first, he hated, but now after a long time, he just wanted to let go, he was trying to let go of her, he lived in his own world every day, he was confused, he didn't even think about Mu Yao anymore, he didn't plan tomorrow's trip, he was pressed on his chest by great sadness and guilt, devouring his health and self-confidence little by little.

Death is like piercing a piece of paper, just a momentary thing, but the sadness brought by death is eternal, it is not like a typo on homework, which can be wiped clean with an eraser, at first it was confused, thinking that I could accept everything, thinking that I could accept the fact that she was leaving.

But after many times of repeated reappearance in my mind, or from the surprise of the night's dream, and then a very lonely back sitting on the edge of the bed, I realized how helpless I was, and it turned out that I still couldn't let go of all this.

Only at that moment did I truly understand what it meant to say goodbye.

Life and death, all these are the laws of nature, and the world is so cruel.