Home is sometimes like a light, in the vast darkness, it gives people the strength and direction to move forward. Pen ~ fun ~ Pavilion www.biquge.info home, sometimes like a net, it firmly nets your life, can't be waved and can't be hidden. And the latter was gradually realized by Su Qing and Sun Lili after they got married.

Su Qing and Sun Lili's conversation in the chapel began to hit the rocks, and the boat of their friendship ran aground on the shore, unable to continue sailing. Today, each of them has a dagger stuck in their chest, and the source of the dagger is none other than their best friend. The situation was embarrassing, and although both sides understood that the other side was not deliberately inserting a knife in today's situation, it was clear that the conversation had reached an impasse.

"Let's go, it's not early, let's go home". Sun Lili was the first to break the silence. No matter how exhausting she and Qin Dabao's home is, at least there is still Linglong waiting for her, and when she thinks of Linglong, she has the courage and motivation.

Su Qing nodded cooperatively, although she was reluctant to do millions in her heart, she had no reason to keep Sun Lili. Home, a word that was originally so kind and sweet to her, today it seems so harsh and terrifying.

Su Qing remembered that when she graduated from college and went out for an internship, she and two female classmates were assigned to a hospital in S City, and the dormitory provided for them was located in a prosperous area of the city, but it was an old office building that was about to be demolished and abandoned. The so-called dormitory was in a room on the third floor, with nothing but three bunk beds, not far from their room, and in a room of less than six square meters, there lived a dozen men, who looked like waiters in a hotel or workers on a construction site. Su Qing had never met them, but he could always hear the commotion in the corridor in the dead of night. The dormitory toilets were on the second floor, common, the dirtiest kind, with a cement sink, a squatting pit, and a broken wooden door. Once Su Qing and her roommates went to the bathroom to wash up, pushed the door and saw a man peeing in the sink, they screamed and ran back to the house, swearing that they would never use the bathroom again! They don't drink water at night, and none of them want to pee in the bathroom alone in the middle of the night. Su Qing was woken up by urine several times, and then waited for dawn with his eyes open.

When she told Sun Lili what happened to her with tears in her eyes, Sun Lili laughed, "Go buy a spittoon! Are you stupid to read!" Sun Lili's suggestion made Su Qing finally dare to drink water at night.

What's worse is her painful uterus, every month menstruation, she can hardly work hard, she can only lie alone in the dormitory, and go to the toilet on the second floor alone with her stomach in fear. If the pain is so severe that she can't take time off, she will be supported by her companion to get a painkiller and then go back to work as if nothing happened.

That year's internship made Su Qing, who had been pampered since childhood, feel the difficulty, embarrassment and helplessness of life for the first time. That year, she missed her home very much when she was far away in S City. Once, her parents came to see her, and she took a comfortable shower in the hotel where her parents stayed, and stooped on the toilet. Su Qing, who grew up in this implicit family, never said that I miss you and I love you, but after sending her parents on the bus home, she shed tears as soon as she turned around, she felt that she was immediately beaten back to her original form, from a happy child back to a lonely, embarrassing and embarrassing life.

At this moment, her parents' home is far away in that small county town, but her and Zuo Anyuan's home is close at hand, but it is daunting.

Sun Lili came home at almost eight o'clock in the evening, hunger made her stomach turn upside down, these days, her early pregnancy reaction began to be obvious, especially in the early morning or evening, when hungry, the feeling of nausea became more and more serious. She quickly covered her mouth and trotted all the way to the bathroom, lying on the toilet and retching. The reaction of this fetus is different from when she was pregnant with Linglong, even if she has just vomited, she looks like she has a big appetite, she should eat, she should drink, and she will not delay anything. She came out of the bathroom while wiping her mouth, and shouted at Qin Dabao, "I guess this baby must be a boy." Qin Dabao snorted, and thought to himself: I was worried that I couldn't afford to raise it, but it would be good to have a boy, this house is several million, where will the money come out? Sun Lili seemed to guess Qin Dabao's thoughts, and then said: "Fortunately, our first is a daughter, and there is no pressure to have a boy or a girl in the second child! In fact, who doesn't want to have both children and daughters? This is all your own creation, you have the life of both children and daughters, it is useless to hide and think about it, and other things are naturally straight, and it is too early to worry about it now." As she spoke, she ate the food she had left on the table, and in a few moments two large bowls of rice were served.

"Mom went back, left this afternoon." Qin Dabao said to Lily. "When my mother left, she said that she just didn't want to watch us always worry about life and money in the future, and she didn't mean anything else. She also said that if she really planned to have this child, then she would have to think about it and plan it in the future. ”

Sun Lili understands what her mother-in-law's "future things" mean. It's nothing more than who takes care of the confinement, who takes the children, who pays the money, etc., and most importantly, when will Sun Lili go out to find a job.

"Don't worry, I'll contact my mom and discuss it with her. Sun Lili had already made up her mind that this birth would definitely not trouble her mother-in-law. The two were quiet for a while, Sun Lili seemed to remember something, she said: "You ask your mother to send your father's medical records another day, and I will ask Su Qing to contact the hospital experts to see, if necessary, let Dad come here for treatment, it is better than a small place." Remembering the last time her mother-in-law suddenly revealed her father-in-law's illness, Sun Lili felt guilty and embarrassed. The mother-in-law won the battle, but she did not take advantage of the victory to pursue, in addition to making her quite surprised, she felt as if she owed them something to the Qin family, and she decided to do something for the Qin family.

Qin Dabao looked at Su Qing in a daze, as if he didn't expect Su Qing to be so concerned about his father's condition, "No need, this disease is not good, it is the same wherever you look at it." When he said this, Qin Dabao's eyes wandered around the room, and he kept avoiding Sun Lili's eyes, not daring to look at her, as if he was the one who was at fault.

Sun Lili continued to eat the braised fish on the table, not noticing Qin Dabao's strange appearance, she thought that the reason why Qin Dabao said this was entirely because he was still angry. So she said: "It's good that the doctor has the final say, it's not you who have the final say, you hurry up and send the medical records first, I'll contact Su Qing, and also, this disease really can't be tired, your mother told her to stay at home, I have a baby and take care of the child, let her not worry about it." ”

Qin Dabao glared at Sun Lili and asked, "Do you really have to give birth to him?"

Sun Lili asked without raising her head, "What do you say?" After speaking, she took a big bite again.

Sun Lili knew in her heart that the child was an indispensable strong light in the darkening married life between her and Qin Dabao, and when she was in pain and couldn't extricate herself, was confused and couldn't find her direction, or gave up irritablely, this light would shine on her and help her find her way home.

Su Qing refused Sun Lili's request to send her home, what she needed most at the moment was not to go home, but that she must have enough calmness, sufficient reason and full courage to face a disappointed, confused, and panicked husband before going home. She didn't know if Zuo Anyuan would be angry, in her impression, her husband was a tolerant and gentle man, and in the more than five years they had known and married, Zuo Anyuan didn't seem to have lost his temper with her. "He is a man who doesn't get angry", Su Qing once characterized her husband as such. However, today's situation made Su Qing a little hesitant, at Zuo Anyuan's carefully planned party, after he knelt down on one knee and confessed to himself affectionately, she actually rejected his desire to have a child with him, so that he couldn't get off the stage in front of so many people, if he was himself, he might have been mad, Su Qing thought silently in his heart. But as for Zuo Anyuan, she really couldn't eat it, he was like a distant mountain, stretching endlessly, Su Qing was in it, it seemed to be the closest to him, but he always couldn't see his whole picture, and he didn't know what kind of position he was in.

At home, Zuo Anyuan often calls her "light", and his mantra is "There must be light, so there is you". Su Qing understood the origin of this "light", but he didn't understand whether Zuo Anyuan loved Su Qing or fell in love with "light".

About six years ago, Zuo Anyuan ran a company, specializing in the production of fasteners and sold to Europe and the United States and other countries, that year, he was responding to an anti-dumping lawsuit with his team of lawyers, this is a fierce battle, Zuo Anyuan and employees fight together, he strategizes every day, exhaustively, this is also a protracted battle that cannot afford to lose, in addition to responding to the lawsuit, they also have to contact the other party's business for political lobbying, hoping that the other party will withdraw the lawsuit. If the lawsuit is lost, the company's tariffs with the country will be raised by more than 200 percent in the future! Zuo Anyuan told the company's employees that they should work together to overcome the battle! At the beginning, he worked until late at night every day, and in the last month of responding to the lawsuit, the intensity of his work increased to two or three o'clock in the morning every day.

In this kind of battle, Zuo Anyuan doesn't know how many he has encountered, in the import and export trade, the anti-dumping investigation letter is like a leaflet on the street, so he is also used to it. When his body showed symptoms of cold, fever and cough, he was indifferent, and finally a month later, when he collapsed on his desk, he was taken to the hospital by his colleagues.

Zuo Anyuan felt that he had come to a blue sea, the sea was calm like a mirror, and in the distance was the snow-capped mountains, and the picturesque scenery made him intoxicated, and he saw himself lying on a huge leaf, gradually drifting into the distance. When he reached the middle of the sea, the blades suddenly disappeared, and his body was gently lifted by the water, and then slowly surrounded - he began to sink to the bottom of the sea. He looked at the sea from the water, the sun gently penetrated from the water, sparkling and beautiful like a crystal, he felt so comfortable, even if he had been in the water for a long, long time, there was no discomfort

His body continued to sink, suddenly, the happy and pleasant expression on his face began to fade like a tide, he gradually felt the pressure from all sides in the deep sea, he looked down at his body, there was no diving suit, no oxygen mask, he could be crushed by the water pressure at will, he desperately shouted for help, but he couldn't hear his own voice, the sea was far away from him, the light was far away from her, his surroundings began to get darker and darker, so black that he couldn't see his fingers, he desperately screamed: Give me light!

At this moment, when he used up his last strength, the thick black around him was torn like a piece of cloth, and the light came in again, and the light became brighter and brighter, and he began to hear the noise around him, and behind the light, was a sweaty face, and he saw that the muscles on this face began to relax, and the hideous expression was gone, and her smile was like sunshine, shining in his eyes, this was the light! Later, he learned that the name of this beam of light was Su Qing.

"A woman who can't have children is a waste. Su Qing never dared to forget his father's helpless and desperate words in his life. This sentence is like her motto, she can't forget, she doesn't dare to forget, and she doesn't want to forget.

Over the years, she has been treating her uterus intermittently, relying on drinking some Chinese medicine to relieve menstrual cramps, but if she wants to cure a "complete mediastinal uterus" like her, she can only go through surgery, but it is still unknown whether she can get pregnant smoothly after surgery, and whether she can return to normal is not 100% guaranteed. What's more, she has always taken her angry reply to her father as her promise: "I won't have children, I'm good alone!"

She didn't want to betray her oath! That operation seemed to become a declaration, with flesh and blood as paper and a cold scalpel as a pen, it would announce to the world: Su Qing can't have children -- how desperate Su Qing is to have children!

All, over the years, she has been trying her best to control herself and alienate others, in the early years of love or the moment of spring, she has always reminded herself: "You are a monster!" She has also been respectful of the opposite sex around her, cold as ice. She put her heart and soul into her work, and within a few years of graduating, she became an attending physician in the emergency room.

She remembers that about six years ago, a patient came to the emergency room, he was alone, he collapsed on his desk, he was brought in with severe arrhythmia and signs of heart failure, he was in critical condition, his life was hanging by a thread. Su Qing suddenly sympathized with him, looking at him and his weak breathing and pale face, she suddenly had an indescribable feeling, she was reluctant, she was reluctant to let this person with his eyes closed and his face pale die here like this. She tried her best to save him, using all her methods and strength, and finally, the eyes on this pale face opened, and they looked at each other for a few seconds, Su Qing actually saw a light smile on this face that had come back from the dead. This is the first time she has seen such a charming smile in the emergency room, this smile comes from a patient who has just died once, this light smile carries the pride and stubbornness of the rest of her life and immortality, like a beam of light shining into Su Qing's gloomy life, it is firmly imprinted in Su Qing's heart. Later, she remembered that the owner of this shallow smile was called Zuo Anyuan.

They became each other's light, shining into each other's dark and weary lives. This is what the Creator said, "Let there be light!"