After the Spring Festival in 2013, the unit successively took holidays. The joy of the festival has not completely dissipated, but I don't know that my feelings have gradually decayed.

Not long after I got to work, one day due to the wrong coating specifications of the aluminum wire, all the newly made finished products in the whole line had to be dismantled and redone. My colleague Cao Ranguo was reversing the machine in front, and I was reeling in the rear. He suddenly turned around, stunned, and said with a smile, "Your mother."

I immediately retorted: Your mother.

He said, "Look back."

When I looked, it was Chen's mother cleaning. Immediately shut up and stopped talking. Cao Ranguo smiled very cheaply.

Chen's family is from Gansu, she and her mother both work here, her mother is usually responsible for cleaning the workshop, 2,000 per month, and Chen's monthly salary is 5,000. And our process is basically the highest wage on the production line in the whole industrial park, although I have not received a high salary. Because at that time, I would take a period of time off every month to go to the Internet café to play online games, and I would charge a lot of money. I've had many fights with her about this.

Since the Spring Festival has just passed, the air is still relatively cold. One day, after working overtime, it was already 8 o'clock in the evening, and Chen called me to tell me that she was shopping in Checheng and asked me to come over after work. After shopping, she walked downstairs to the dormitory, and she suddenly lowered her head and said, "My mother is watching upstairs."

Her colleague suddenly said: I forgot to tell you, your mother has been inquiring about you two recently, and seems to know about you both.

I had a bad feeling, so I kept my head down and walked without saying a word. Back in the dorm, they all went to the Internet, and I sat in bed for less than a minute. Suddenly there was a sharp knock on the door, and I opened it. Chen's mother. She looked angry, I knew what was going to happen, so she said very calmly: Auntie, in this way, don't be angry first, if you want to talk about it, let's sit down and talk slowly, if you think it's not good, I'll leave now.

She said, "Then you sit, let's explain all this clearly today." Are you quite close to my daughter?

I said, "Yes."

She said: How long has it been?

I said, "I started not long after I joined the unit last year.

She said, "If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes today, I wouldn't have believed it." Several people told me, I said that you have a big age gap, and it is impossible. You've got what it takes!

I said: So what do you think?

She continued: "No, I won't agree to you two. I'm counting on my daughter to support our family.

In fact, Chen also has a younger brother who is in college, four years older than me. The monthly living expenses are also provided by Chen. His father's health is not very good, he does some odd jobs in his hometown, and his income is very small, and her mother will not talk about it. Therefore, the life of the whole family and various expenses are basically borne by her alone. And Chen's mother is an extremely patriarchal person. It is not easy for her to carry this family as a girl. And her mother beat and scolded her. Just the hand that was laid down when it was hit, any irrelevant person who saw it, and even if he heard it, he would be furious. Slap the face, copy the guys, for example, sticks, and anything else that can be touched, and slam your hair against the wall. Don't ask, it's my own mother. Ever since I heard about this, I have not had a good impression of her mother.

She continued to speak: If you think you two have to be together, that's fine, give me 300,000, from now on she is her, I am me, and it has nothing to do with it. I don't think she's a daughter.

I kept my head down and didn't say a word. I know I can't say anything, because her mother and daughter are also related to this layer of blood. As for 300,000, what are you kidding, I was not yet 18 years old that year, I can't steal it, I can rob it? Three hundred thousand is undoubtedly an astronomical amount to me. I knew I didn't have any qualifications, so I didn't have the right to bargain, so I had to let her perform.

She said, "Look, I've given you a chance, but you can't do it yourself." Okay, don't associate with my daughter in the future. Zidang was a dream you had, and now, wake up. Let it go!

I know there's no room for manoeuvre anymore. But I wasn't willing to give up. I thought about it for a while, I wanted to do something more for her, even if it was insignificant, and I would do my best. Let me bear all the humility and grievances at once. I got up and took a step forward, facing her, and bent my knees. She was clearly a little flustered, not expecting me to do so suddenly.

I knelt in front of her and said: Auntie, I can promise you not to continue to associate with her, but please also promise me one thing, don't beat her in the future, she is your biological daughter, I hope you can feel more sorry for her, and leave her some self-esteem.

She said, "You child, you speak well, you get up first."

I said, "You promise me first, and we'll talk about it."

She said: Okay, as long as you can promise not to continue to associate with her, I will promise you that I will never beat her again.

I got up and she left. I closed the door and sat on the edge of the bed. I felt the last vestiges of my soul slowly being pulled out of my body. I know that I lost, and I lost everything, including that worthless dignity. I didn't even feel a little sad, as if it all had nothing to do with me. I went to bed and slept with blank eyes and mechanical movements. That night, I slept soundly, I didn't have a dream, and I was very peaceful. Until I was woken up by the ringing of my mobile phone, it was hers, and I didn't answer. It rang over and over again until it was interrupted by a knock on the door.

She said, "I know you're inside, open the door, and I have something to ask you."

I lay there, motionless. She went crazy and slammed the door and called. I didn't move a single step the whole time. I turned off my phone, smoked a cigarette, and stared at the white roof in a daze, not knowing what I was thinking. Finally, the knock on the door stopped. I seemed to feel the urge to open the door again and take a look, but I resisted it. I know that someone has to bear all this, rather than let her carry it, it is better to let me carry it, at least, I am a man.

In this way, half a month passed, half a month passed in a mess, occasionally went to work, and the rest of the time was basically spent in an Internet café. The female webmaster of the Internet café knows us, her name is Liang Shuang, as her name suggests, a very cool girl.

She said: You haven't been going to work lately, and it depends on your absence.

I smiled and said, "Why do you care so much, I'm fine, get me some cards."

She gave me a blank look and said: I recharged the money again, but I didn't give it, and it was sold out.

I said: Hurry up, delay my brother's business, and complain to your boss later.

She smiled and leaned back: Don't bother you, I'll tell my uncle in a while that you're going to complain about me. Also, I've been so diligent on the Internet lately, and I haven't seen your girlfriend come to catch you back, oh, I know, is it a quarrel.

My face changed suddenly, and she saw it. He didn't continue to speak, but after he finished his things for me, he sat down on the stool, his head bowed, like a child who had done something wrong. I want to say to her, it's okay, I don't blame you. But he never spoke. It was already ten o'clock in the evening after the game, I walked to the door, and Liang Shuang got up from the bar to stop me.

Say: I'm sorry, I don't know, I'll invite you to dinner.

I said, "No, I have to go back." I guess I've been coming every day lately, so let's eat it another day. Besides, I don't blame you.

Without waiting for the words to finish, Chen Da came in at the door of the Internet café and glanced at the girl. Then he stared at me deadly: I thought you were missing?

I smiled and said, "Whatever you think, can I still control your mind?"

She let out a sigh and said: I didn't come to quarrel with you today, can we make it clear if we have something to say?

I said, "Okay, you say, I'll listen."

She said: Not here, I hate Internet cafes, let's go to dinner, I haven't eaten yet, I've been looking for you for a long time, Zhang Xiaoping and they all hid from me that you went to Xi'an.

I said, "Don't blame people, I made people say that."

She and I went out of the Internet café and went to the wonton stall opposite the Shaanxi Automobile Group to sit down and ask for two steamed buns. As soon as I sat down, I didn't say a word, and the bun took a bite of half a bite.

Chen's mother suddenly appeared in front of her, and in front of many people, she began to scold me: Do you want to be ashamed? What do we say, how can you promise me that you are a five-foot man?

Chen got up and argued with her mother: Mom, don't you say it, okay?

I put down my chopsticks and turned to leave. I don't think I can stand there, I don't know who to help, I don't know what to say, and I don't want so many irrelevant people to eat buns and drink wontons and play there.

I gradually felt that I had to leave this place, and that if I stayed, it would only give birth to more rights and wrongs.

One day, as soon as I walked out of the gate of the living quarters, Chen's colleague stopped me and said, "I heard that Chen and her mother had a quarrel that day."

I said, "I know."

She said, "I heard that you left by yourself and left her alone?"

I didn't speak. I know that all explanations are superfluous. Because of the affairs of two people, the third person can never be explained.

She continued: Have you ever knelt for Chen's mother?

The corners of my mouth twitched, I gritted my teeth, and remained silent.

She said: She has told many people recently, and she wants me to help watch the two of you to see if you two continue to communicate.

I said, "Are you alright?" and I'm leaving.

I turned away, and for a moment I saw contempt on her face. But what is the matter? and go on with your own perdition. Half a month has passed, and I have submitted my resignation application, and I have signed it all and am ready to leave here. That night, Chen suddenly came to my dormitory, and Brother Ping and the others were very interested in making excuses to leave.

She said, "When are you leaving?"

I said: as soon as possible, the sooner the better.

She said: My mother has returned to Gansu, and I came to you tonight to explain these things clearly.

I said: what else is there to say, that's all.

She said: Can you not go, without you, my sky will fall.

Every word she said was like a needle with a barb, piercing my heart, pulling it out, and so on. At that moment, I understood that all my defenses had been breached, and my world was falling apart and in ruins.

I really forgot what kind of mentality I had at that time, and to exaggerate, it was better to live than to die.

I said, "I'm sorry, I can't do anything." That's it, I wish you happiness, find a good family, get married, have children, these are all things that I can't give you.

After speaking, I got up and left the dormitory, I saw Brother Ping and they were all talking in the next dormitory, and when they saw me coming out, they shut up and looked at me. I ignored it and went straight downstairs to the gate. I heard the sound of running behind me, and Chen chased after me, tears on his face. I didn't dare to look up, kept my head down and didn't speak.

She sobbed and said, "If you don't leave, I'll convince my mother."

I turned to leave, but she grabbed my arm so hard that I even felt pain. I don't know how hard she tried. I raised my other arm and snapped a branch out of the green belt and pointed it to my heart.

Say: Let go, don't let go, I'll let you see the fountain.

She froze for a moment, then slowly let go of her hand. A look of banter. I couldn't tell if she was crying or laughing.

She said: You are the most ruthless person I Chen Xiaoyan have ever seen in my life, there is no one. You want to go, don't you? Let's go, I'll stop you again, and I'll let the car kill me when I go out.

My heart was like a knife, and I turned around and left. Didn't look back. The crying in my ears gradually became quieter, and I walked for a long time with my head down, without purpose. Walking to my feet numb, I don't even know where I am.

I told myself that it was all over. Since I can't give her even the bare bare minimum, I might as well let it go. I am grateful to her for taking care of me and being kind to me that year, but I have no choice but to leave her. From that day I left there, to this day, I have never seen her again, and since then, Chen has ended in my life, cut off contact, and never met again. Later, I only heard what others said, she married a husband, and then had her own children, and her life was quite passable. When I heard it, I felt a little comforted in my heart, and I couldn't say anything else. I only hope that man can protect her for the rest of her life and no longer let her suffer a trace of grievances.

To her, I was just a passerby. For me, she's just a passerby. We are unrelated people. May time be kind to her, may she be happy, happy, sunny, smooth, healthy, and better never see me again for the rest of her life. Because you and I have long been strangers to each other, and we are all right. So be it!

I wish there are lovers in the world who will eventually become dependents! Well, they will eventually become dependents!