The so-called moon is cloudy and sunny, and people always have joys and sorrows.

Standing in front of the class door is a cement wall, egg yolk paint, about a meter high, plus a layer of iron railing half a meter high, forming a wall.

In a few days, it will be the Chinese New Year's Eve, the night of family reunion.

In class, most of the students are listless, and a few of the top students are concentrating on their studies.

Before the Chinese New Year, I had already calculated how many red envelopes I could take this year, how many things I could do, and then made an appointment with the hotel to sing K and drink, which is an annual habit.

Sitting at the desk in every kind of boredom, my tablemate and relative Shaobo, a height of more than one meter and eight meters, a tall and thin body like a bamboo pole, a very shy and introverted personality, our relationship is not bad.

At that time, when it was my turn to take a course that I didn't like, I would lie down on the table and sleep, and over time, the teacher would not be willing to take care of it and leave it to its own devices.

When I'm bored, my favorite thing to do is to take out my phone and watch my favorite fantasy "Tomb of the Gods".

It's always bad to openly play with your phone in class, so I thought of a way at that time.

At that time, the table was made of wood, about two meters long and half a meter wide.

We would use a knife to dig a small hole in the desk so that we could lie on the desk and reach into the desk with our phones in our hands.

I still remember the first part I watched back then, which was Chen Dong's "Tomb of the Gods".

That kind of poignant love, the elegant way of writing, planted a seed in my heart.

Back then, there was no so-called APP, and mobile phones were only divided into straight boards or sliders.

The book network that logged in is called 'Shuqi Network', a book network that is a long time ago.

The male protagonist of "Tomb of the Gods", Chen Nan, is my favorite character, surviving in a fantasy and wonderful world.

Dream Kerr, Dawn, Dragon Dance, Tsundere Princess, etc., those are good memories of childhood.

I watched it once for the first time, and I watched it again for the second year of junior high school.

After that, I watched "Immortal Realm", "Immortal and Indestructible" and so on...... Up to now, "Covering the Sky", "Perfect World", and "Holy Ruins", all of which are characters with distinct personalities, are familiar.

At that time, such a topic was circulated, whether the tomb of the gods would be made into a TV series, and until now it has been fruitless.

The world view written by Chen Dong is too grand, even if the filming is finished, the post-production alone is definitely a terrible expense.

It's a bit of nonsense, let's get down to business!

……

At that time, the relationship with Ting gradually declined, and I always remembered her ex-boyfriend in my heart, and I never forgot her expression at that time.

Every time we meet, it is no longer as affectionate and sweet as before, she always seems to have something to hide from me, and every time she smiles, in my eyes, it is a slightly bitter expression.

Maybe I, as a man, shouldn't have bothered with her so little.

I asked her a few times and then there was no then.

This thing, like a thorn, pierced into my heart and grew between each other.

It's like a nail growing into flesh, a silent pain.

With such emotions, ushered in the reunion night of that year.

During the Chinese New Year in the second year of junior high school, there was a girl Yan, who was a beauty with long legs and a melon seed face.

The measurements are mouth-watering, the voice is a little crispy, the long hair is shawl, and when I roll my eyes, that peculiar style has touched my heart once upon a time.

Back then, Ting and I were still together.

I rarely praise women, maybe from childhood to adulthood, there are a lot of beautiful playmates around me, so that my vision is a bit high, and I still can't change it, so I can only be single.

However, the former female playmate, now the married person, and the one who has a boyfriend are very sweet.

……

To this day, I'm still hesitating whether or not to write out the dramatic scene between me and her.

He was very hesitant, as if there were angels and demons in his body.

The angel wants me to hide this love and miss.

But the devil was instigating me, with a seductive voice, as if telling me to write it down and show it to the world, and my vanity would be satisfied.

The angel is worried that if I write it, it will affect Yan.

The temptation of the devil to lose his mind struck me in the heart.

Since I wrote "My Little Girl" back then, I wanted to write a story about the voice I wanted to shout out the most, and wait until ten or twenty years later to read it, which served as a good wish.

Well, I listen to the devil's words.

Stories need to be authentic!

……

The relationship between me and Ting lasted intermittently until the Chinese New Year, and there was less contact.

During this period, she and I had a phone breakup.

It seems that how everything begins at the beginning, the moment the ending is drawn, will definitely return to the original point, the difference is that we have experienced the nourishment and pain of love, learned to let go, or struggled.

At that time, my relationship with her was a little sour, and I no longer exchanged phone calls and text messages every day.

Every beating of the heart reminds each other that I still miss you.

The hardest, the most difficult, is inseparable from Ting's nostalgia for her ex-boyfriend, which is one thing that I will never forget.

That night, on the night of the Chinese New Year's Eve reunion, after dinner in the evening, I discussed tonight's entertainment with a few good friends.

They all agreed that it was to sing high, I was recognized as a Maiba, and if it was calculated according to the LOL talent plus points, I would add 10 points to myself.

For the remaining 20 points, I was afraid of pride, so I gave up.

……

After tangling with the entertainment project, the five of them have been discussing who to call, of course, girls.

As for how much money one person pays, men are not naturally entangled and share it evenly!

Xing proposed to call Shangyan and Ru them, and I said I had no opinion.

Before the entertainment, I had contacted Ting, but she said she was not happy to come.

After hanging up the phone, I thought about her ex-boyfriend again, a girl, a girl you remember deeply, shed tears for another man in front of you.

I think the boys who saw this chapter were probably a lot more angry than me!

I was teased by them, saying that I was a person with a girlfriend, and Yan Heru, who was single, would leave it to them, I would just treat it as a joke between boys.

They don't have the guts to do such a thing.

I don't know where to find a few girls, but I never thought that I met on the road.

Three figures appeared in our sight from far and near.

Who is that, Yan, Ruhe?

I forgot who the last one was!

A few of the girls had big hearts and could play, and readily agreed to our suggestion.

A group of people, both men and women, went to the hotel to open a box and sing K.

I liked Zhang Jie's songs very much back then, and Zhang Jie's first album at that time was "The Most Beautiful Sun", which included "You Are All", "We Are the Same" and so on.

Zhang Jie was born in the draft, and I saw him as a happy boy that year.

The atmosphere gradually heated up, everyone laughed and laughed, and the dice continued.

I don't know whether I wanted to know it or not, Yan sat next to me.

Because of Ting, I sulked, drank stuffy, and sang songs in a very high key.

It was the first time in my life that I sulked for a girl.

As a result, I learned to figure out a girl's mind, and I can hit seven or eight times out of ten.

The surprise came very suddenly, Ting's sudden phone call, but I panicked for a while.

She made an appointment with me at half past nine and waited for me at the photo studio, and she said she wanted to take a picture with me.

I was in mixed moods, happy, angry, and conflicted.

Drinking and singing, my head began to feel dizzy.

Counted the places I sat on the floor, drinking empty bottles.

"One, two, three............"

Before I knew it, I drank more than four bottles.

At that time, I drank Xuejin gold bottles, a box of 12 sticks, and the hotel sold more than 70 boxes, which was half more expensive than the outside.

My emotions were conflicting, and Yan happened to sit next to me.

The effect of alcohol, or is it an instinctive reaction of men?

At that time, I was very unrestrained, and naturally made love to her.

Because of Yan's involvement, my mood improved, maybe to please the girl, my next songs, are all sung to her.

And all this, Ting didn't know at all.

I didn't realize what I was doing meant.

Does it hurt?

Not really!

Counting my friends, they are very locomotives, and none of them dare to mess around when they arrive.

The girls shouted together, and at that time, they were all close together.

Men squeezing men, I find it funny.

(I don't understand, at the age of fourteen or fifteen, is it really easy for a girl to be emotionally affectionate with a boy, or to a handsome boy who can make her laugh?, maybe!)

(You're in a period of adolescent turmoil, and I don't know how to explain it.) ）

Near half past nine, I went to the camera studio as Ting had instructed.

Yan said she was going to follow me, worried that something would happen to me, on the grounds that I had drunk a lot.

Another friend of mine was also worried about me and ran out.

With Yan's support, I talked about wine and expressed my dissatisfaction with Ting from the bottom of my heart.

The only thing I remembered in my mind at that time was to go to see Ting, and I couldn't let her see Yan.

At that time, I hesitated whether to break the Yan, and I endured an inexplicable remorse and apology to support the Yan.

She even turned around a little reluctantly, occasionally turning back, and the reluctance in her eyes, even in the dark alley, still penetrated my heart.

Xu was ashamed, so I hurriedly smeared oil on the soles of my feet and told Cong Ma to go faster.

He took me by the arm and walked briskly.

……

When I got to the photo studio, there wasn't even a ghost.

I grumbled, wondering if Ting was playing tricks on me.

I really couldn't stand Ting's actions in my heart, and I drank too much, so I began to squat on the ground and vomit with disgust.

On a cold day, leaning on the stone lion at the entrance of the ancestral temple directly above the Great Ancestor Tan.

took out the cigarette case, one by one.

I wanted to call Ting very much at the time, and I was originally angry, but when I found out that my mother's phone was still on Yan's side, I was shocked into a cold sweat.

It's a terrible thing, if Yan answers the phone later, I can only confess sincerely.

Thousands of calculations, but in the end, they are miscalculated!

Tell Cong to go back, worried, I stingy recalled Ting's actions, she released Lao Tzu pigeons.

After going back, the phone was indeed with Yan.

When I sat down next to her, she told me that Ting had called.

My heart at the time!

The thrill is worse than drinking a cold beer.

I decided right now that I had to confess tomorrow and beg her for leniency.

Friends call, and a new round of clinking glasses begins again.

That night, I was broken.

I vaguely remember that the Yan women went back first that night,

Before leaving, I saw the reluctance in Yan's eyes, and I knew that if I asked her to stay, she would definitely stay for me.

If I'd been bolder, something might have happened.

However, we were still young at that time, and the budding and rebellious adolescence was limited to words and ruthlessness towards the family.

When it comes to getting laid, you will retreat.

(I remember a hilarious thing about what my mom told me that boys should not sleep with girls, or they would get pregnant and give birth...... My mom's white lie, until I was in junior high school, opened the biology textbook, and I didn't know that I had to be fertilized to get pregnant, I wonder how your parents did it?)

……

When it comes to feelings, I'm serious.

The next morning I called Ting and told her that I had made a mistake last night and that I shouldn't have kissed Yan.

I still remember, I should be damn to hide it, because Yan didn't tell Ting about last night.

I begged for forgiveness stupidly, but I told Ting a lot, I was confused at that time, and I didn't know what to say!

I remember it was the first time she hung up on me.

Well, she was very rude. (I'm also short of eyes!)

I was scared, so I called again and asked her how much she really knew.

She said she knew everything, because I told her and she believed.

My 10,000 fucking grass and mud horses galloped by, and I confessed what I had done wrong.

……

The next night, the same people from last night, brought the Yan and them again without our consent.

Damn it!

I was wearing a black hat on my head, and the semi-circular visor of the hat obscured my vision, so I could only see the color of the shoes and pants that everyone was wearing.

Actually, it's because I'm afraid to see Yan's eyes.

I'm afraid to see the affection in her eyes.

That night, I didn't dare look at her from the moment I sat down.

But who expected Miss Yan to be unusually bold, sitting beside me very autonomously, never leaving a step, and as if she had given me something.

That's it!

His eyes stared at me, and I felt a lot of goosebumps all over my body.

I was weak-hearted, but in the end, I couldn't stand the burning gaze, so I simply took off my hat and looked at her.

Damn it!

She actually smiled shyly!

That night, we went to the same hotel, and I got drunk again. (Kiss only)

There were a lot of people who came that night, about a dozen or so.

I drank a lot of wine, and in the end, only the box was left, and Yan and I had three people.

Liang and I worshiped at that time, and they were good brothers and buddies.

I hesitated for a long time, feeling that I shouldn't treat her like this anymore, that it was unfair to Yan and disloyal to Ting.

I was so ruthless that I said to Yan: "What I like is Ting, I'm sorry!"

I blamed myself and squatted in front of her, looking up at her smiling face, and after that sentence, it gradually solidified and the smile gradually lost.

For the first time, I knew what it meant to be a broken thread of tears.

Unstoppable teardrops, like transparent pearls, drooped down two lines of tears.

I squatted on the ground, and it took only a second for Yan's tears to fill my eyes, and then drop after drop.

It's a wet patch on the floor!

What did I say at the time?

Although I have a lot of contradictions with Ting, I can't forget the sweetness she brought me, until now I have completely forgotten what it feels like to have a woman to accompany me!

(I've been single for many years, and my youthful frivolity hurt Yan, so much so that I still can't forget that I once had a girlfriend, but she felt that I gave too much care, and she couldn't stand it.) ）

(I don't know, I'm making up for the regrets in my heart, if there is if, replace me back then with me now, I will leave Ting and be with Yan.) ）

(However, she is the same as Ting, she is married, and it is slightly insulting to say this, I apologize here, I'm sorry!)

Back then.

……

I nervously pulled the napkin off the table, shaking my hands to wipe her tears.

At that moment, I understood a truth, to make a girl who likes you cry, what you should give is a hug, and a word of sorry, I want to be with you.

I didn't dare to look her in the eyes, I lowered my head and looked at the ground, my trembling hands proved at that moment that her crying brought me a different kind of heartbeat.

Compared with the heart plug that Ting gave me, the affection she brought to me was indeed very real and I could feel it.

(I've always felt guilty about this, but there is no if, even if I regret it, it has already happened, almost ten years have passed!)

I kept pulling the tissue away, not daring to look up at her.

She went from being sad at first, rejecting the tissues I handed her, to her expressionless face at the end, to singing later, and there was a bland emotion hidden in her singing.

Don't cry or be sad, it proves that a girl is dead to your heart, I think she should have been in this mood back then, I'm sorry!

Seeing that she was singing without crying, my tense nerves relaxed a little.

But when I saw that expressionless goose face, I did give birth to someone who would break up with Ting.

The damned heart of Our Lady was holding back my thoughts.

At that time, it was already more than two o'clock in the evening, and in order to make up for her sadness, I refused my mother's call to urge me to go home, just to stay with her more.

Since then, I haven't been in touch with her.

It's not that I won't, it's that I don't know how to deal with her.

I thought that I didn't make any moves at that time, and if she was stronger and wanted me to be her boyfriend, my idea of being with her would definitely be magnified, and I wouldn't regret it now.

What Yiliang said to me back then, I remember in my heart.

He jokingly said, "You're really powerful, you hurt a girl's heart like this." ”

Since then, I've felt sorry when I see her.

It's a bitter emotion!

In the days that followed, a boy who had a good relationship with me at the time came over to show off as if he and Yan were doing.

I smiled on my lips, but inside I wanted to punch me.

That punch didn't fall on his face anyway.

I always assume that if I had been with her at the time, she wouldn't have suffered from this kind of scumbag.

Maybe it was because I broke her heart that she chose to fall.

Because, I was the first man she came into contact with.

From then on, for a while, when I drank too much, I would always mention what the man seemed to say to me, and I didn't look down on Yan, but because I had a deep debt in my heart.

I always thought that it was because of me, and it still is.

……

I have a deep understanding now, I was too much of a jerk when I was younger, and I always unknowingly lost the person I was supposed to take seriously, while I was always self-righteous and doing outrageous things again and again!

First there was Xiaofan, then there was Yan, so far I chose to be single, even if I met the girl I liked later, I still chose not to speak.

It's just because I'm afraid that the love I give is too much, and I'm afraid that I will hurt her unconsciously.

We used to think that when we were young, we could indulge.

At the end of the day, we look back and find that life wasn't what we wanted, and we always had a thought: if we could do it all over again, maybe?!