Now think about what you used to ask so many ignorant questions when you were young, maybe more than ten years later, do you also feel that you are so young and ignorant, wasting your time?

But thinking about it, at least there was something I didn't understand at that time, and I would still ask, instead of pretending to understand like I am now, even if I didn't know anything, I wouldn't ask. On the podium, I watched the teacher speak freely, but in my opinion, it was the same, I didn't know what to say, the teacher would always ask if everyone understood? At this point, we take our attention off the phone for a few seconds, either be silent or bow our heads and whisper that we understand.

I don't know when I gradually stopped asking, and I didn't bother to ask? More than ten years of growth have taught me a lot of things, but I also lost those precious things that belonged to me, and I can't tell what it is, this is because I feel that it is different from before, and it has not become what I imagined when I was a child, and how many times I found myself so strange when I looked in the mirror.

When I was a child, I seemed to be ignorant, I couldn't see clearly, I couldn't tell or even couldn't tell, but I would always grope on the way forward, I couldn't see clearly but I wouldn't be confused, I couldn't tell right from wrong, I couldn't tell but I could ask, but now?

Even though I am still so curious about the unknown, I have lost the courage and motivation to explore, and I choose not to see, selectively ignore, and selectively forget. He blinded his eyes, and his ears were deaf, and his hands were broken. Since when did this start?

When I was four years old, I went to the top of the highest mountain with my parents, maybe I had been there before, I just didn't know. I don't know how many times I have dreamed and imagined the scene at the top of the mountain, but I felt disappointed when I actually arrived, and I didn't know what disappointment and loss were at that time.

The trees on the top of the mountain were not as tall as at the foot of the mountain, and there were no clouds and mist that others said could not see the road, nor did there be man-eating monsters, not even grasshoppers that ate grasshoppers, only the very big wind that kept blowing. The clouds are not so close to the top of the mountain, and they are still higher.

For the first time, I also saw clearly the village where I lived, it turned out that the village was so small, the world was so big, the sky was so high, my father said that the mountain was the sea, so I must go out to see it when I grew up, at that time I thought so many mountains, or forget it, how long will it take.

My father didn't say anything, he just sighed all the time, and at that time I couldn't understand why he always let me go out, it was rare that it was really so fun outside, he always went out and rarely came back. Now I rarely go home, I don't even want to go back, is that really what they want?

At that time, I always felt that my father was indifferent to me, he rarely talked to me, I was so strange to him, he always called me stupid, because I rarely talked when I was a child, but I liked to do bold things, such as putting my hand in the dog's mouth and putting the bugs in my mouth.

I had a snot hanging all day and my mouth open, and I still don't want to admit that my mother said that I liked to snort when I was a child. They also because I was just like other children, who knew that the snot was still flowing and could never close my mouth.

I was really stupid when I was a child, and I am still stupid too, and I always suspected that the reason why my parents gave birth to a younger brother may be that they thought I was hopeless. The reason why I think about it is because my brother was born when I was five years old, and I did so many things before that that made people think I might be a fool.

There is a two-meter ridge outside the vegetable patch in front of the house, and below it is the backyard of another neighbor's house. One day my mother was weeding, and I walked in through the open door, and stood on the rock, looking at the overgrown weeds and small flowers blooming below.

I wanted to go down and have a look, but I didn't know how to go down, so I jumped without thinking too much. For the first time, I felt the sensation of flying so clearly, and it turned out that it hurt so much to fall from a great height.

I sent it to my uncle's house and checked it out, but it was just scratched and nothing happened. My family asked me how I fell, and I said that I jumped off by myself and was beaten, but I still said that I jumped by myself because I didn't know it would hurt so much, and I didn't know if I could jump.

Because my father had been away from home and didn't know what his son was like, he actually put me aside when he was chopping firewood for the New Year, and I followed his example with a firewood knife and scratched it with a firewood knife, and set up a piece of bamboo and chopped it down mechanically, and the result was that the small bamboo was split in two like my left thumb.

When the crying sounded, he hurriedly looked back at his son, who had no telephone at home at that time, so he took me in his arms and ran to his uncle's house in another village, where there was a doctor nearby. It was the first time I remember him running so far with me in his arms, and it seemed that only at that moment could I feel his love for me. Of course, at that time, I only knew that I was crying, how could I understand what father's love and mother's love were. By the time I understood this, he was getting old, and we seemed to be getting farther and farther apart.

After I came back that day, my grandparents were angry for a long time and scolded my father for several days, because I am the eldest son in the family, and my uncle has two daughters in the family, and my aunt's first child is also a daughter. And I could be disabled for the rest of my life, which in their opinion was caused by my father's carelessness.

Fortunately, even though there is still a clear dividing line between the nail and the skin of my left thumb, it has no effect on the fingers.

At that time, my father was a few years older than me, and he was still a young man in his twenties and sixteens, just starting a family and learning to be independent. How could he guarantee that he would be able to watch a child who was constantly dying? He had no experience.

But at that time, he really needed the ability to face everything and resist the whole family, because he was already old and young, and he and his uncle were still under the control of his grandfather, and in his grandfather's eyes, they didn't have the ability to do things independently, because the daughter-in-law was told by her grandmother. At that time, my uncle was still busy hiding from family planning, and my father had been working outside, and my grandfather was managing and handling the affairs of the family.

Think about me again, I'm almost twenty-two now, and I haven't been under their control all the time, I really can't achieve anything, and I can't support myself without my family, let alone be independent. At least at that time, my father would not be like me, and he was cheeky enough to ask the family for living expenses every month.

In his great-grandfather's time, he was already married at the age of twenty, and he no longer relied on his father, and even his father had his own opinions. It is true that one generation is not as good as the next.

At that time, they said that my father couldn't do anything, and now they say that I can't do it. It seems that none of the boys in the family have yet become a finished product, but the eldest sister who is said to have planned to send them out has given them a face.

When I was four years old, it was also just after the end of winter, and in the morning I went with my sister to herd cattle, and I pulled the tail of the ox on the road and ran with them, but it was loaded on a sharp stone on the side of the road, and the brain melon opened on the spot, and I fell to the ground, and when the eldest sister woke me up and pulled me up, my world had become red, and I couldn't see it behind me.

She said that she went and told me not to move, but fortunately I didn't understand anything, I didn't know anything, so I wasn't afraid, I wasn't afraid, I just knew how to cry.

I don't know how long it took, but I heard my father's and mother's voices, and I was picked up, and I didn't know the rest of me, but when I got to my uncle, it didn't hurt anymore, and I saw them sewing and mending my forehead like sewing clothes. I've relived this feeling a few more times years later.

My sister ignored me for several days, and when I first came home, I didn't know why she was crying, but when I saw her red and swollen face, I knew that she had been slapped a few times by her grandfather, because in the eyes of the family it was her fault, because she was the eldest sister, because she didn't have anything.

For a long time I couldn't understand how she felt, until I became a big brother and a younger sibling, and I was slapped and whipped countless times for similar things.

I still can't understand why it's always our fault, it's just that when you're a few years older, you should know everything, you should be able to do something so that your younger siblings don't make any mistakes, nothing happens, why you haven't asked why it's a slap in the face. Even our parents, grandparents, can't do this. I used to put my hands in the cooking fire in front of my grandfather.

Maybe that's one of the reasons why our siblings don't want to go home all the time.

At that time, my relatives and friends thought I was a fool, because I was almost two years old before I could speak, and I didn't greet anyone when I saw them, and I was always alone and snorting in a daze. I'd rather be with the dog all day than play with other people in the stockade.

Because my parents didn't let me talk to strangers at that time, I didn't know any of my relatives and friends, and even I forgot all the ones I had seen. Because my peers in the village bullied me, and my family often didn't let me go out with them, so I stayed at home all day.