Chapter 14: Bathing in Fire

The day after Yu Yue came back, Shi Yuan accompanied him to the county hospital for a routine blood test, and the situation was fine, the white blood cells were 5.8, which was not too bad, and it would fall to the lowest in a few days. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 info family mother's face is not very good, she said to Yu Yue, "Rong Rong will inevitably stick to you at home, you are like this now, I am afraid that it is not good to take care of the child if I am not well taken care of when the time comes, it is better to go back to your mother to live, your mother is educated and knows what nutrition to give you, I am not educated, I am afraid that what I eat will relapse." "My mother's speech is never loud and violent, she speaks very artistically, obviously it is a bad word, she can say it tepidly and pleasantly, it is logical and unquestionable. Yu Yue felt very aggrieved, did she open her mouth to drive people away the next day after she came back? But what was even more unexpected was that she had been out for more than 20 days, and she heard Shi Yuan's mouth full of care and support from her mother-in-law's family, but these words made people wonder if Shi Yuan was deceiving him with good intentions. Yu Yue is not a fool, if this is the case, she can understand Shi Yuan's mind, and she can also understand the psychological torture that Shi Yuan has been subjected to for more than 20 days, and understand what the purpose of making such a deception is. She didn't tell Shi Yuan about what her mother said to her, Shi Yuan had a bad temper, and he would definitely be angry when he told him about it, and he would argue with his mother, Yu Yue was really afraid that the conflict between mother and son would happen again during the confinement period, she hesitated for a few days, and never said it, the two of them were shuttling back and forth in the county hospital for a few days, and they had to deal with visiting their relatives and friends when they were at home, and they had no time to take care of what their mother said. Parents come to accompany Yu Yue every day, they instinctively have a sense of guilt, thinking that Yu Yue is going to trouble others next, and they all hope that people will be kind to their children, which is conducive to recovery. My father-in-law smiled a lot when he came to people, and his face dropped when he turned around. Yu Yue sees everything in her eyes, and it is not worth hating her parents.

I had a poor appetite for the first two days, but I could eat it, but then I couldn't do it, constipation, I didn't have the desire to pull, I felt that I didn't have the strength to push in my stomach, I took a laxative to eat, and I pulled it into a mess. But the hemorrhoids were swollen, and it hurt so much that it hurt to walk, stand, sit and sleep. After two or three days, it gradually got better. As soon as the time for the husband and wife arrived, they went to do a routine blood test, Yu Yue's blood vessels were too thin, and the needles were often inaccurate, and the nurses in the county hospital sometimes had to prick them several times, plus the hand that did the operation could not draw blood, and the right hand had nowhere to draw blood, and there were needle holes on the joints of the hands, on the back of the hands and even on the back of the wrists, which was really miserable, and Yu Yue had no other way but to endure the pain. Until the tenth day, the white blood cells fell to 2.63, began to rise to white, the first day and the second day were fine, and on the third day, four hours after the injection, he began to have a bone headache, from noon, to the evening to eat can not sit down, Yu Yue, who endures the pain, deliberately diverts his attention while feeding the child. But that kind of pain can't be restrained, the pain is so painful that you can't take your eyes off, and it comes from time to time, especially in the hip bone, as if the bone has been squeezed and stretched, and it keeps sinking. After dinner, Rong Rong was taken to live in Stellar by his father-in-law, they are like this, they have to put the interests of Shi Zhai and his wife first at all times, Shi Zhai's children go to school during the day, and they have to go up to help bring them at home at night, and cook for them in the morning. Even if Shi Yuan and his wife encounter these big setbacks, they will not treat them in special circumstances, and sometimes they take their children to Shi Zhai's house to sleep, Rong Rong is still young, and they have to find their mother at night.

It is impossible for Yu Yue not to have an opinion. "Why take Rong Rong to sleep, he is not a homeless child. Yu Yue muttered, since she got sick, she has an instinctive inferiority complex, she will take back some words when she comes to her mouth, and her opinions are always expressed in private. Shi Yuan didn't like Yu Yue's always rhetorical tone, and he replied impatiently, "How can I take care of my children like this? I love to take care of things so much at any time! No one else has ever encountered such an unfortunate thing as an in-laws, can my parents feel comfortable? As long as your child is a child, don't you care about Shi Zhai's child if you don't understand it?" Yu Yue bit her lip, "I just want to see my child more." Even if it's just watching him fall asleep......" After saying that, she turned around and couldn't stop crying. Shi Yuan realized that his words were heavy, he just found himself a step down, he had no way to control what his parents wanted, some words were unspeakable as a son, looking at Yu Yue's haggard appearance with tears streaming down his face in pain, he also gave birth to infinite pity and love, speechless.

The severe pain was more serious than a gust of time, starting at seven o'clock in the evening, Yu Yue couldn't help but roll on the bed, that feeling was too familiar, like dismantling the skeleton, although it was also a severe pain when giving birth to a baby, but the difference is that the pain of giving birth is a pain of hope, and now it is a pain like knocking on the bone and sucking the marrow, the pain that makes people not see hope, and the pain that does not know when it will end. The unhappy past suddenly came to her heart, and for a while, Yu Yue was desperate in pain, she rolled from the bed to the ground, and finally hit her head against the wall in pain! Shi Yuan hugged her tightly, but was quickly pushed away by her incomparably strong struggle due to pain, Yu Yue curled up and slammed her back into the wardrobe behind her. She didn't want to die, but it was so painful that she couldn't even tell the difference between hell on earth. I don't know when I started to cry loudly, crying incomparably indulgently. Shiyuan, his parents are crying on the side, "Oh my God, this is the first time, and there are five more times to be in such pain, but how can I get through it? I didn't die of cancer, I should have been killed by pain" Yu Yue cried and cried, complaining bitterly. Yu Yue suddenly remembered that there was such a thing as painkillers, she gasped and asked Shi Yuan to buy ibuprofen, Shi Yuan was also excited, "Yes, there is still medicine to eat, but I don't know if I dare to take it, I'll call first." Se Won quickly dialed Dr. Xiao's phone, and after receiving approval, he immediately went out to buy medicine. Zhongma does a good job in doctor-patient communication, how many doctors are willing to leave contact information for patients, and the doctors in this hospital are willing to leave phone numbers to facilitate patient consultation, and they are also very polite and patient to explain when they pick up the phone. Yu Yue sincerely thanked this hospital and these doctors. After more than an hour, the pain gradually subsided and returned to normal, his face was gray and blue, and even the two eye circles were black, which was too energy-consuming. The doctor said, "You don't have to endure the severe pain, you can take medicine, and the most important thing is to maintain your strength." ”

After the fourth injection, the white blood cells returned to normal, and the second half of the day was relatively leisurely. Yu Yue doesn't adapt to the new daily life, and the change is a terrible thing, it disrupts everything for you. When the child is just learning to walk, the in-laws take care of the child is also harder, and they don't know how to eat cost-effectively, so they will be a little annoying. Patients will be more sensitive, Yu Yue is very uncomfortable in her ears, she always reminds herself, "Forget it, the left ear goes in and the right ear goes out, it is a person who has no time to fall into Pingyang and be bullied by dogs", so comforting herself can still play a role in temporary paralysis. Since she got sick, as long as outsiders are not there, Yu Yue's state is very depressed and depressed, and everything is empty. My father-in-law sometimes woke up his husband and wife very early in the morning, and he himself got up at 6 o'clock every day and couldn't see young people sleeping until three o'clock in the morning, so the main reason he called them to get up was to ask them what they wanted to eat in the morning. Yu Yue was scared awake several times, and she couldn't say anything, as if she had troubled people a lot, so she naturally lowered her posture. Mother will come to accompany every day, one is to help bring Rong Rong, so that her mother can take off her hands to do housework, her mother is really not presentable, the action is slow and inefficient, a few clothes can be washed in the morning, choose half a pound of vegetables to toss for a long time, a mouth and refuse to stop, always endlessly express their opinions, say something inconsequential. Second, she was afraid that her mother was uneducated and didn't know how to take care of patients, and she was even more afraid that she would not spend it on Yu Yue with the living expenses given by Shiyuan. In the past week, the facts have verified her mother's idea, her mother only buys some home-cooked food, unless Shiyuan buys additional supplements to go home, otherwise she will not even buy half a catty of shiitake mushrooms, her way of shirking is very simple, only saying that she doesn't know how to pick and fear that Shiyuan will be helpless if she doesn't buy well. Shi Yuan's pressure is actually much more than before, in addition to the monthly use that must be handed over to his mother every month, he also has to buy some supplements, and more importantly, his father-in-law does not go out after he comes back, nominally because of Yu Yue, in fact, he has three meals during the day at Shi Yuan's house, and at night he takes the baby at Shi Zhai's place, and Shi Yuan is equal to another old man's maintenance pressure, all of which are pressed on Shi Yuan, and his temper is getting more and more irritable. A week later, Yu Yue told Shi Yuan that he wanted to go back to his parents' house to live, Shi Yuan disagreed, he just wanted to save face, saying "I'm afraid that people will gossip, why will I send my daughter back when I am sick, and besides, people come and go every day, there are so many relatives, friends and colleagues, knowing this situation, how will people scold me?" Although it was the mother who opened her mouth first to drive herself away, but now she really wants to leave. Shi Yuan's words made Yu Yue hesitate again, and after thinking about it carefully, it was better to take the overall situation into account.

As the old saying goes, adversity sees truth. Usually there is nothing, the young husband and wife often quarrel with each other, longing for you to live or die, but now that there is a disaster in the family, they can tolerate each other, why not realize it earlier? Do people have to go through something to mature? The price seems to be really too great.

Qian Xiaoying will go to the house to see when she is not at work, she usually knows how to be obedient and please, but at this moment, she shows a hideous attitude, and she can't help but be condescending when she speaks. "I used to have a tumor in my breast, and I was very nervous, so I rushed to see it as soon as I touched it, and a minor operation was done. Yu Yue said, "I was misdiagnosed, it seems that so many gynecologists and color ultrasound doctors, even if one reminds me to go to the surgery to see, it is different, doctors in small places rarely see special cases, like me pregnant breast cancer is probably not heard of." Besides, I also had a tumor marker test before I got pregnant, and I also did a liquid-based cell test, all of which were fine, who knew that the development rate was so fast!" Qian Xiaoying pouted, "Where can I find out, the doctor said that it is useless to check those, and the cancer cells are not formed in a day or two, and it takes five or six years to grow to the size of a grain of rice, and you are as big as an egg." Having said so much, it turned out that Qian Xiaoying had come to clear up the relationship, Yu Yue felt a numbness in her chest, and the steel nails on her ribs seemed to be suddenly tightened. Breast surgery is a very cruel operation, and it is physically and mentally tortured for patients. The nerves in Yu Yue's chest were all cut off, and she couldn't feel it even if it hurt a lot, and there were just bursts of soreness, always reminding her that she was different from ordinary people. Is it meaningful to break with such a person? The low level of education is not a hard injury, but a hard injury is the inertia of her way of dealing with the world. The kind of inertia of listening to the wind is rain, taking quotes out of context, exaggerating and saying things, and speaking and doing things only based on interests. The good things are taken from themselves, and the bad things are pushed on others, and even the other party is not slandered at the expense of the text. This way of doing things may be able to protect oneself, but most people scoff at this jumping clown and disdain it. Yu Yue thought to herself, even if I am in trouble, it will not be your turn to step on me! What is the purpose of jumping out in such a hurry? Is it not worth it for her parents or for her brother? His sister came without a word of comfort, and when she spoke, she was always arrogant, and the gesture she made when she didn't dare to say it was now suddenly without scruples. I couldn't help but be happy like that, repeating over and over again that I knew how to go to surgery for surgery, emphasizing that people who read books are stupid, and they don't understand anything in real life...... , the half sentence "affecting the family" swallowed, but Yu Yue heard the meaning. Qian Xiaoying was also merciful occasionally, saying, "Sometimes I can't help but cry when I look at Rong Rong, how pitiful it is to be so young without a mother." Yu Yue had only one reaction when she heard such words: gagging.

Since I came back, my father-in-law has not given a dime to the Shiyuan couple, some of them are cold-hearted, what "to change the character", what "we can't even take care of the children when you come back", "we are better to take the children when you are not here", turning the corner to ask Yu Yue to go, and on the other hand, it seems that Yu Yue will get cancer only if she has a bad personality, in fact, they are accusing Yu Yue of being arrogant, not casual enough, and always holding a shelf. Because, in their eyes, right and wrong are not important, what matters is "unanimity" and "unity". Yu Yue's silence and rebuttal are all contempt for them, and only in favor of them does it mean that he is "good enough", knows how to be tactful, and knows which way to stand on the right side. They themselves are accustomed to flattering others, and they want others to treat them the same, because they feel that the way others treat them shows that they have a place in the eyes of others. They are always accustomed to guessing their place in the minds of others by the way others treat them.

Even if the father-in-law and the mother of the family are pretending to take a few hundred or one thousand, it will make the young couple feel warm. But the two old men didn't have a warm word, in their eyes, there was no return on taking out the money, the money was empty, and even their own living expenses had to be paid by Shiyuan, "I even quit my job to help you take care of the children, of course you have to be responsible." This kind of "kind-hearted" kidnapping made Shiyuan have a hard time. Regarding taking the child, let's leave aside the help of my father-in-law and mother-in-law, that is, Yu Yue can't bring it for the time being, and it's enough for my mother and herself to bring it, but my mother used to have to help Shi Zhai every night, but now that Yu Yue is sick, my mother will definitely not be able to concentrate on helping Shi Zhai, and his father came back to help ease the two families, and he was worried about Shi Zhai's opinions. Shi Yuan was miserable but didn't dare to say a word, and when he was under pressure, he was out smoking alone. Yu Yue's mother originally wanted to take another 20,000 yuan out to Shiyuan, but her uncle reminded her, "Don't do everything, your money is for his family to eat, and it's hard to say whether you spend it or not to get your own daughter, son-in-law, and grandson." When my mother heard that it made sense, she took out 10,000 yuan and gave it to Shiyuan in front of Yu Yue's father-in-law. Shi Yuan was moved for a while, and he spoke modestly, and his father-in-law glared at him and he immediately reined in. Yu Yue's parents are a little idealistic, she thinks that this will make his father-in-law touch, and give some money to support the young couple, even if it is just to temporarily pay for their own living expenses. However, as soon as they left, the father-in-law despised Shi Yuan, "My mother's family should have done this, she gave birth to a sick daughter herself, and it would be polite if we didn't drive her away, if it was in the old society, it would have been returned immediately." You are so blind, you have found a burden, see how she will drag you down in the future, you really didn't have her in your previous life. Shi Yuan agreed, he didn't dare to have an opinion.

No matter how unwilling the mother is in her heart, she will still do what she should do on the surface, at least she will do what Shiyuan asks her to stew every day, and she will really love the child. And Shi Zhai and his wife also bought snakes and turtles for Yu Yue once or twice, even if they were made for outsiders to see, they did it. Patients are very easy to be content, you have a heart for her, you should use actions to reflect, and patients are also the most vulnerable, speaking without hindrance, listening to people's hearts like a knife, the lethality of bad words is the most serious for patients. The father-in-law has a tough personality and has no scruples about speaking and doing things, he even called the villagers in front of Yu Yue, saying that he wanted to repair the tomb and change the feng shui. After talking for a long time, my father-in-law suddenly waved his hand, "30,000 is 30,000, what's the matter, it's not bad." Yu Yue pulled down her face on the spot and turned around and walked back to the room, the moment she stepped into the door, she cried aggrievedly, I really can't imagine that this kind of vanity is so intoxicated that a person is a pseudo-rich man at all, but he has to pretend all day long, can't he be low-key? What makes people even more infuriating is his backward thinking, he refuses to reach out and pull a hand to save her in front of a good person, but he wants to spend 30,000 yuan to repair the grave of the dead? People will also laugh at themselves, "Why should your in-laws be good to you?" Yu Yue was full of grievances and had nowhere to vent, saying that it was useless in front of her husband, not only would he not protect Yu Yue, but he couldn't even do the least thing to help his relatives, he could only help his relatives. Most of the time, Yu Yue will ask Shiyuan to take her and the child to her mother's house, the best way to regulate her emotions is nothing else, just leave the environment that makes you uncomfortable, fortunately, people who are willing to do things with their parents stew soup early to take care of Yu Yue's mother and son.

The two sisters and brothers wrapped 500 yuan and took it directly to Shiyuan, and they didn't say a word to Yu Yue, that gesture was like giving you a life, Yu Yue couldn't wait to go back, and Shiyuan accused her of being stingy for this matter, "You don't want so many things, think of people so badly, people are kind." Yu Yue didn't want to quarrel, she didn't have the physical strength to quarrel at all. Yu Yue is very willing to imagine them all as good people, she always says to herself, maybe she thinks too much, people just speak more directly, and they don't mean anything else. But they won't shy away from what they do, she really can't deceive herself. My best friend Qiuqiu said to herself, "Why are you so masochistic? Why do you have to think that you think badly of others? Some people are so bad in the first place! Usually unsatisfactory is always pressed, and when you see that others are unlucky, you can't help but step on them, so that you can show your evil anger." I thought you were no different from them when you fell, 'What's upscale? Qiuqiu spoke very directly, she always said it. "It turns out that I used to be pretty good in the minds of others, haha." Yu Yue laughed at herself proudly, "Don't be happy, you are now a fallen phoenix in people's hearts, not as good as a chicken." Qiuqiu sneered.

Most of Yu Yue's relatives came with a serious face, relaxed and walked away, all of them were comforted by Yu Yue one by one, although I don't know what they would evaluate in private, but they must have been more relieved. Most of the colleagues are affectionate, but many people who have no friendship also come, some people themselves are more emotional, emotional people are easy to give birth to compassion, male colleagues are mostly sighing, and female colleagues are mostly sympathetic and compassionate. Shi Yuan's classmates and friends came a lot, and his high school class president also contacted his classmates who worked in other places, and Yu Yue was grateful for the enthusiasm of these people, although most of them were unfamiliar. As the old saying goes, "A hundred times the death of a lady will come to the door, but the death of a general will not come." Yu Yue could somewhat understand the meaning at this time. Their classmates are really polarized, some people can't wait to come to comfort the patient, showing their reluctance, some people pretend to be stupid and stunned and gradually drift away, you must understand that there are not many people in this world who send charcoal in the snow, and there are many people who are icing on the cake, and people know their status in the minds of others best when they are seriously ill. Yu Yue is occasionally lonely, for these former girlfriends who take the initiative to stay away. She also knew that there was no need to grieve for these powerful villains, but she still couldn't help but sigh with emotion, she regretted that it was not worth associating with them. One is small, a few days before going out, Yu Yue invited her to the house to eat a birthday cake together, after the operation in the city, Yu Yue told her the whole thing, and then she not only did not appear again, not even a phone message, this person completely disappeared in Yue's life. For the patient, someone is actually more important than anything else, at least she will think that she has not been forgotten by society, your health and survival are still meaningful to people, and you have the obligation to get better as soon as possible.

One must remember to reach out to relatives and friends who take the initiative to approach when they are in trouble. These friendships are precipitated after the big waves wash away the sand, and they are the most authentic reactions from people's hearts. In the world, warmth and goodwill are the mainstream. Remember the kindness that others have done to me, and continue this love.

My best friend Yanzi works in the field and only comes back two or three times a year, and after knowing Yu Yue's situation, she keeps following her, and she always cites a lot of positive examples to encourage Yu Yue. Yu Yue couldn't answer the phone before and after the operation, so she called Shi Yuan, and she cried a mess while listening to the phone, she made a sum of money to Shi Yuan's account anyway, Shi Yuan told Yu Yue to listen, and finally said, "Wife, you must remember your friends, really good, true friends." Yu Yue nodded, cheering herself up in her heart, "You must fight for it, don't let everyone down." ”

Best friend Meimei is about to give birth, nine months pregnant, the due date at the beginning of next month, her mother-in-law is very superstitious, how can she not agree to come up to see Yu Yue, Meimei is stubborn, "It is polite for me to go to see a patient, and it is not a patient to come to your house, what is bad luck or bad luck! Half a lifelong friend, she will miss me in her heart, and it is not good to ask me to go, I don't want to go if I don't go, this is a matter of accumulating merit, where will it be unlucky?" Meimei insisted on coming, gently wiped her tears, and complained about Yue, "You just have something in your heart, and you are entangled in the disease." We are all the same, we won't pretend to be coquettish, we won't be pitiful, how can a man like a woman who is always holding a shelf? Shi Yuan obviously loves you, and he will want to deliberately stimulate you and suppress you. Hey, it's all self-inflicted troubles! Now that I'm sick of myself, I can't say anything about my suffering, so let's suffer dumb losses, but it's better to let others abuse you so badly. I told you a long time ago, since you have chosen him, no matter how bad his family is, there is no way, you have to learn to accept, what is the use of you struggling all day long? Either leave him, or learn to accept. Well, I can see that he really wants to be nice to you, but I can't help but keep talking about how much he spends for you. No way, his family environment has been so bitter since he was a child, he is used to measuring everything with money, you can't get used to it, you don't know anything about money, people just find you, otherwise what do you think?" "What do you mean that he spent money for me?" Yu Yue repeated this sentence heavily, "He has been lending interest outside in the past few years, do you think his father's capital of less than 200,000 yuan is enough? Not to mention that my money supports his development, my father can also call it at any time." At that time, I didn't have any cash to give birth, and I had a credit card, which caused me to deduct my salary in two months. During the period of hospitalization in Guangzhou, he was not very willing to ask the client to repay the money, and felt that he had cut off his financial route, if it weren't for my father saying that he would get the 70,000 yuan back first, and we would not even have 10,000 yuan in the card, what could we expect? Have you ever seen his worried expression? I spent more than 30,000 yuan on surgery in Guangzhou, including the first chemotherapy treatment, and the medical insurance was 80 percent, so how much money could he pay? Fortunately, he finally found out in his conscience and said that the 70,000 yuan should be returned to my father, and we can solve it ourselves, otherwise I would really look down on him as a person. Mei Mei glanced at her, "You shouldn't think about things now, relax, don't get entangled, there is life to have everything, otherwise everything is someone else's, not even your son is yours." “

Chemotherapy is a course of 21 days, after the first chemotherapy, Shiyuan discussed the itinerary of the second chemotherapy with Yu Yue, he always hinted between the lines not to go to Guangzhou again, chemotherapy is the same everywhere, and Yu Yue's mother and daughter did not agree, her mother was particularly sensitive, she insisted on giving Yu Yue the best treatment. Dad is neutral, he just calmly analyzes the pros and cons of both sides, Guangzhou chemotherapy must be more professional, and the situation is familiar, but I am afraid that the breast department will be more nervous when moving back to the main ward, and if the hospitalization cannot be done, the medical insurance will not be reimbursed, and if you live in a hotel outside for ten days and half a month, the cost will be big. And go to the city, don't worry about medical insurance reimbursement, the distance is also close, but the conditions are poor, our plan to bring back is afraid that the medicine here is different, and there is no special subdepartment, what thyroid, bowel cancer are together, I feel very unprofessional. Therefore, the two of you should choose the most advantageous one, and it is best to inquire about the policy in the hospital, and then make a decision after clarifying all aspects of the situation.

Qian Shiyuan will definitely go to her sister to do errands, and her sister is also willing to sell her favor to this younger brother, she can feel a sense of superiority, "Hmph, you don't want to come to beg me? Read more books, it's amazing? People are not as beautiful as life!" Qian Xiaoying will definitely laugh proudly, Yu Yue thought of this earlier, and told Shiyuan in advance not to go to Qian Xiaoying, sister-in-law is in surgery, and Dr. Li is also in surgery, just look for the two of them. Shi Yuan suddenly became angry, "I can't forget to point fingers at any time, you just love to take care of everything, Wu Zetian is the same, my sister doesn't go to her in the county hospital, is it possible? How do you get along with people like this? Why should I give up my relatives and not look for your relatives? It's not that no one in my family is in the county hospital, do you think that only people in your city have people?" Yu Yue said coldly. I don't want to owe her a favor, it's obviously a matter of doing things according to the rules, but when it comes to her hands, it will turn sour, and she will feel that asking her to ask the doctor to sign it, which is a great help to you. I have a doctor I am familiar with in surgery, why do I have to find someone through her? "Shi Yuan heard that it made sense, so he no longer insisted, and went to the county hospital to complete the transfer procedures with Dr. Li, and when he went out, his sister saw it, and when he asked Shi Yuan, he knew that he was here to go through the relevant procedures, "Have you signed it? Do you still have to fill out the form? Put me here to do it together, I will bring it with me when I have time to come, what are you worried about here, and you have to run around by yourself." Se Won was a little embarrassed and couldn't help but nod in agreement.

The two decided to go to Guangzhou for chemotherapy, Yu Yue likes this hospital and the doctors here, the atmosphere is very good, and he knows how to respect patients. Shiyuan also felt that there was no need to change the familiar places, although the city had a shorter itinerary, but the efficiency was relatively low, and chemotherapy had to take a week, while Guangzhou paid attention to efficiency, and started chemotherapy the next morning after admission, and could be discharged home after taking medicine in the afternoon, which may be about the same. After all, there is still a difference between Guangdong and their own province, like this time when they come back to reimburse drugs, they know that many drugs used in Guangdong are not available in this province, although there is no way to reimburse, but there is no way, there is local protectionism everywhere. Use the medicine wherever it is cured, so you can rest assured.

A few days before the trip, Yu Yue felt that her hair began to itch, and she couldn't help but scratch it, but as soon as she grabbed it, Yu Yue was worried in her heart, she should have come or come, hey, is there anything worse than this? After being in the hospital for so long, I can always see a woman whose hair is falling out, not necessarily how serious the condition is, just a problem with medication, hair loss may inhibit growth hormone, Yu Yue was mentally prepared when she was in the hospital, not only the hair that fell out, but also the armpit **** was gone, and the menstrual period did not come, well, everything was abnormal.

At the end of the month, the two of them took a direct bus to Guangzhou, and Yu Yue vomited all the way. The next day, I found the breast department, Dr. Xiao removed the stitches for Yu Yue, but there was still one centimeter that did not heal well, the threads fell off, this time it was troublesome, and a few stitches had to be patched, Yu Yue lay on the bed, Dr. Xiao and Dr. Huang looked at Yu Yue's face with pity while studying the wound. Yu Yue was a little embarrassed, "Do you still need anesthesia?" Doctor Xiao shook his head, "No need for anesthesia, the nerves on your side have been cut, and you don't have any sense, just stitch them up", Yu Yue felt a pain in her heart and was silent. After meeting Professor Wang, he admitted that chemotherapy could no longer be admitted to the hospital, and at present he could only focus on surgical patients, and he took Yu Yue to Professor Yuan of the Department of Internal Medicine, especially emphasizing that "this patient is triple negative breast cancer." Everything went well, Professor Yuan is a pedantic scientific research worker, not smiling, he made a phone call and asked Yu Yue to report to Neisan. On the 29th, Yu Yue lived in, billed a series of examinations, and after the condition was good, the doctor prescribed chemotherapy drugs, and the chemotherapy program was issued by the surgery, and there was a small episode in the middle, they forgot to urge the doctor to intubate, but the doctor also forgot, originally wanted to be directly intravenous, but Yu Yue was worried that his blood vessels were too thin, and he was afraid that he would not survive the chemotherapy and would die, so the two did not agree to direct intravenous chemotherapy, and begged to stay for one more day and intubate first, the doctor was a little embarrassed, but still found a way to postpone the prescribed chemotherapy drugs for one day. On the morning of the 30th, the PICC tube was inserted, Yu Yue's blood vessels were indeed relatively thin, and she had to take good care of them, and she was treated with chemotherapy immediately after the insertion, and she was beaten until 9:30 p.m., and everyone was stupid, and she reacted half an hour later, and she wanted to vomit a little. During the ward rounds on the 31st, it was found that the wound was inflamed, and the bandaged place was oozing, and the two also got a dressing change from the breast department, and Dr. Xiao prescribed anti-inflammatory drugs, but the incision was still inflamed, and Yu Yue was a little lost. Bought a ticket for the next night, Yu Yue had no appetite at all, watching Shiyuan eat, fortunately it was a sleeper car, although it stopped for a long time, but it was a good rest, and the home that arrived in the morning, the second chemotherapy was over.

On the morning of the 31st, I arrived home, and Shi Zhai and my father-in-law came to pick me up. It's home, all kinds of tastes. Due to the inflammation of the wound, the couple had to go to the county hospital every morning to change the dressing, plus to draw blood and inject the tube or something, basically in the morning in the hospital to consume, after this chemotherapy a total of seven injections, the first two injections only reached 3.8, and then the white blood cells could not rise, until the 10th day was 5.8, after two more injections, the 12th went to draw blood and suddenly soared to more than 27, scared to death, twice to confirm that there was no problem, Yu Yue called Dr. Xiao, he said, " The white blood cells are about to start rising, and if you take the white needle at this time, it will rise very quickly, don't play it for a few days, and then test it in a few days to see if it has fallen down, and whether it has returned to normal." The wound of the PICC tube will also bleed, plus the place where the film is allergic, the itching is unbearable, and the dressing may be changed too often, and finally the wound scabs over and spreads, Yu Yue's blood sugar is easy to rise, and the wound is not easy to heal, so it is even more difficult to trouble, every time the scab is disinfected, it falls off, and the wound bleeds.

Physical trauma can be relieved by treatment, but psychological trauma must be mitigated by spatial distance. The current Yu Yue is very sensitive to the ill-intentioned snickering of ill-intentioned people, and if they are not together, they don't have to have any mental burden, Yu Yue is determined to leave Lido, and Shiyuan can't disagree. Since Yu Yue fell ill, the father-in-law and the mother of the family have always paid attention to the whereabouts of Shiyuan's funds, and they are willing to use the money for the treatment of Yu Yue without consulting them. Yu Yue heard all this in his ears, Shi Yuan cried in the hall, Yu Yue cried in the room, and the young couple was forced to come here but had nowhere to talk about desolation. Some things will hurt each other when they say it, both of them are tacit, and if they say it, they will quarrel, there is no son in the world who does not defend his parents, no matter how selfish they are. Shiyuan persistently cheers Yu Yue up every day, encourages her, gives her confidence, and keeps saying love, which will never change. Yu Yue knew very well that Shi Yuan did this to comfort himself, afraid that he would have doubts and cowardice.

Yu Yue took the initiative to tell her mother that she wanted to come down to recuperate, and her mother nodded without saying a word, "You don't have a psychological burden, you can be where you are comfortable to recuperate, you don't have to care what others think and say, you yourself are the most important." In fact, Yu Yue has a big idea, if you want to go back to her mother's house, you have to leave the child, Rong Rong has been eating and living with her grandmother since she was a child, and he is naturally reluctant to let her grandmother come, every time her grandmother comes home, the child cries and grabs the ground, and she can't calm down for a long time, but Yu Yue is in Lido, and the mother will definitely come, in this case, the mother-in-law can still please her mother on the surface, "Grandma is more good at bringing people, I don't like children who are not educated", my mother knew that she was coming to wear a top hat again, and smiled modestly," Where, the countryside is not more of those nursery rhymes and sayings, you don't learn from us to sing and read poetry, you can just say the original local folk songs to the children is the best. It's better for children to accept any culture. The mother pursed her lips, smiled and did not answer. Yu Yue understands everything, hey, naïve mother, do you really think people are modest? How can she have any leisure time in her life, and muttering folk songs, the three children are thrown into the mud and rush to work, and they come home every day and fall asleep. As soon as the grandmother left, the father-in-law's words were very mean, "Who doesn't take the child the same?" Hmph, if she doesn't come to tease the child, we won't be so difficult to bring, and the child will forget it after a long time, you always come to tease the child, how can the family take it?" Yu Yue can't get into her ears, let alone her eyes, she doesn't care about taking the child but has to blame others for their intentions, it's really dirty! She despises this kind of person from the bottom of her heart.

In order to cultivate the relationship with their family, as long as it is something sent by grandma, they must be disliked, and the food sent by grandma is not given to Rong Rong to eat, since then, Rong Rong has been hugged to Shi Zhai's house every night to live, and he does not want to eat them, but he wants to eat them, use theirs, and then make up some things every day to say how much his son likes them, and the mother is often self-absorbed, suggesting that Yu Yue should know how to be grateful, implying that he took the child to use other people's water and electricity, and ate other people's milk, and remember that he owes others favors. Yu Yue is really funny, why should his family use someone else's? Just to bring the two families together? And then realize his big family-style management? It's not like this yet, really Yu Yue is afraid that if there is naivety to go, according to their logic, wouldn't Rong Rong want to completely break off the relationship with her grandmother and grandfather? Thinking of this, Yu Yue immediately raised her morale, "Even for the sake of the child's life, I must also live!"

Yu Yue is sick, but her brain is not sick, and she can see everything clearly. But whenever Yu Yue's friends come to visit at home, her mother must have a play, her tears can come as soon as she can say, like broken thread beads, she always tells people that she can't sleep and eat well because of Yu Yue's illness...... Yu Yue was so shocked that she couldn't close her mouth for half a day, this feeling is really deeper than her own mother, can't she be sincere? Yu Yue's mother lost 10 pounds in 20 days, and she has never cried with others. Forget it, at least they're taking care of the kids now, and it's good that this is sincere. Because she didn't want her husband to be a difficult person, Yu Yue couldn't see or hear anything, and it was rare to be confused.

The next third chemotherapy was the most intense, and the bone pain was no longer so obvious, but the constant vomiting and diarrhea made people collapse, and Yu Yue was worse than dead by the drug reaction.

Yu Yue, whose whole body is as smooth as jade, is like a green snake molting, is there beauty behind every pain? "After the wind and rain, it may not be a rainbow", maybe the future will face a mess, and the result will be "moths to the fire, burning the body can be stingy", but if you don't even have the courage to bear it, how can you talk about transformation? Only indomitable, there is no reason to return to the original way, and those who dare not face the reality are not brave people, and in the end they will even look down on themselves. After the third chemotherapy, Yu Yue's head began to grow fine hairs, is this a new life? The story of Buddhism says that there is no reincarnation after Nirvana, only rebirth, just like the phoenix is immortal after Nirvana, beyond life and death. Yu Yue is not a Buddhist, and he knows that he cannot have this state, but it does not hinder everyone's desire to persist in life. It is said that the phoenix is burdened with all the pain, grievances and hatreds accumulated in the world, so Yu Yue will be fearless because of self-knowledge. Patients have time to think about life, and Yu Yue often thinks that for 30 years, he has been cautious and gracious, and he has never been greedy, and he is more harmless to others. Twenty days after coming back, some people persuaded her to enter the Fa, but it was not that she was reluctant to let herself go to the past, Yu Yue had read religious history in her own major, and she believed in the power of faith, but she learned so much about it in the process that she couldn't let herself sincerely accept the existence of God himself. Nevertheless, Yu Yue widely agrees with Buddhism, the moral idea of the Catholic teachings that guide people to be good. She has an unforgettable belief in herself, after the severe pain of that night, she believes that she can break out of the cocoon and become a butterfly, all this did not start out of thin air, it must be the sound of the old grudge from the previous life lingering. Wait for the physical and mental torture to be carried out together, face all the torment and torture of the heart, let your weak body fight against all malice, and jump into the crucible of purgatory without fear, praying for rebirth after nirvana.