No, Sister Xiyan.

You're a good sister.

Lin Mingyue shook her head and muttered a retort.

She recalled Zheng Xiyan's care and help when she was a trainee, although the practice was very hard at that time, but everyone was together, but it was also the happiest time.

She recalled that when she debuted together, Sister Xiyan would always leave the most painful itineraries and assign those easy itineraries to them.

She recalled that during that dark time, Han Xiaowolf opened his heart, but wasn't the other half of the door also opened by Sister Xiyan?

She also recalled the moment when she apologized to her, she looked up and drank the wine. She recalled the blessings given to her in the diary she had just seen......

And many, many more.

Sister Xiyan has never forgotten him, but what can she say about this matter, to such a Sister Xiyan? What is her position on to say? How could she bear to say anything?

Lin Mingyue raised her hand again to wipe the corners of her eyes and turned back.

The time had finally come for a day they didn't want to think about. The handwriting on the diary is no longer neat and beautiful as before.

The messy scribbled strokes show Zheng Xiyan's helplessness and despair at that time.

Just like the day he confessed to her.

"Why do this to me? It's all in the past, isn't it? Why ...... at such a time"

"What to do? What should I do now? What else can I do but lock myself in the door and cry? ”

"But no matter what you do, it's too late."

"Self-inflicted. However, it is enough for me to bear it myself. This time, it will affect them. ”

"Now that they're outside the door, are they complaining about me? Will it be hating me? ”

"I know they won't...... But I don't dare to think about it now, I don't dare to look into their eyes. ”

"I've lost my love, I've lost my dreams, and now, do I want to lose them too?"

"I'm ...... now. There's nothing left. ”

"Maybe liberation is the only option I can make now."

"Actually, that's good, you don't have to think about anything, and you don't have so many things to worry about now."

"Really, really a little tired."

"I'm really tired."

"I don't want to go any further."

"However, I still have my parents, I still have crystals, and Mingyue and them...... They'll be sad when I'm gone......"

"It would be nice if you were by my side now."

"It would have been nice if I hadn't chosen that way."

Han Shenyan.

Han Shenyan.

Han Shenyan.

Han Shenyan.

Han Shenyan.

Han Shenyan.

"I miss you so much......"

The text comes to an abrupt end here.

After Zheng Xiyan was called over by the company that day, he never returned to this room. After that day, only she knew her own path.

Tears flowed out of Lin Mingyue's eyes like pearls with broken threads. She covered her mouth tightly, not daring to make the slightest noise.

Her mind was blank now, she only knew what was in her heart, and it collapsed the moment she saw the last sentence.

She put the notebook aside in her hand, her body curled up unconsciously, and buried her face deep in her arms.

On this somewhat hot September night, she suddenly felt very cold, very cold.

She suddenly regretted it.

I regret why I saw such a diary.

If I hadn't seen it, my heart wouldn't have hurt as much as it does now.

It turns out that Sister Xiyan has been suffering from depression, and it has even been half a year. I obviously lived with her, but I didn't notice it. Lin Mingyue, is your sister competent? If this situation had been discovered earlier and solved earlier, maybe Sister Xiyan would not have developed to this point.

She...... She actually thought of it...... Extrication?

Watching Zheng Xiyan write down her own tired words in the notebook, Lin Mingyue could imagine Sister Xiyan's despair and helplessness at that time.

Thinking of this, her heart was as if she was being clenched tightly.

However, even though you yourself are already so sad, are you still thinking about others? Worried that others will worry about you?

Sister Xiyan......

And.

She finally realized that Sister Xiyan had not forgotten him or Han Xiaowolf until now. When the mood is at its most vulnerable, his name still comes to mind.

But surprisingly, at this moment, there was no jealousy in her heart, only deep guilt and pity.

It has been half a month since Sister Xiyan wrote such words. But it's only half a month.

There is no way to make her depression improve in half a year, can half a month be enough? And you just experienced such a thing as quitting the group?

How many of the Sister Xiyan I saw today with a normal face were disguised?

Does she still think about it now...... Suicide?

She is an entertainer and knows a little more about depression than the average person. Because in the past few years, there have been more than a dozen artists who committed suicide because of depression, and the suicide attempt has not been exposed, perhaps more.

Will you see Sister Xiyan in the news one day......

She shook her head desperately, not daring to think about it any more.

It was pitch black outside the window.

Just like she was feeling at the moment.

Messy, complicated.

She thinks a lot.

Sister Xiyan once helped her, the moment when they played together. She was like the glass of wine he had apologized for, and she wrote down in her notes how she looked when she was tired...... Many, much more.

Of course...... And the hope and despair she felt when she kept writing his name over and over again at the end of her diary.

I don't know how long it took.

Her phone rings. The familiar ringtone made her raise her head, this was the exclusive ringtone she set for Han Xiaowolf.

Usually no matter how busy and tired you are. Hearing such a ringtone always lightens her mood.

But at this moment, she heard this bell and thought of it. But Sister Xiyan must be very sad when she hears such a voice, but she still has to pretend to smile.

Am I too cruel to Sister Xiyan?

She took a deep breath before picking up her spirits and picking up the phone.

"Lin Xiaolu, I haven't said good night tonight. You can't already fall asleep, right? ”

Fall asleep?

Lin Mingyue looked at the dark sky outside the window, and shook her head silently, maybe she would lose sleep today.

But she didn't show the slightest bit of anything unusual in the text message she replied to.

As before, they said goodnight to each other after making jokes between couples.

But she knew it in her own heart.

When she opened Sister Xiyan's diary.

Things have become very different.

If.

It's a pity that there are no ifs.