After a brief understanding of the situation, Xiaoqian also had a simple understanding of the experience of this pillar sister-in-law. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

Xiaoqian gave her a simple test and found that she had a lack of emotion because of the lack of fatherly love in her childhood, and she was depressed due to postpartum depression in the later stage.

The current sister-in-law is in a very dangerous state.

She has maternal love for her daughter in her heart, but at the same time, she can't help but hate this sticky child, this child has done everything she has, but she is helpless, she loves her daughter is true love, and would rather resist the pressure of her husband's divorce, but she hates children when she is really annoying, especially when the child cries and quarrels with her husband, it is really annoying.

For this child, she has paid too much, but her efforts seem to be unrewarded, sometimes she can't help but think, if there is no this child, will she not live such a worrying life?

This feeling only appeared when she quarreled with her husband and the children were too dependent on her, and after that hatred of the children, she fell into deep self-blame, she felt that she was not a good woman, and she was a mother in vain.

Even when she told her husband that she was a mentally ill woman, she had a tacit idea, and she didn't understand why she sometimes hated children so much.

These are all things she said while crying.

"I really want to give my child more care, but when she is particularly clinging to me, I am tired in the unit for another day, and when I see her still like that, I will be very angry and hate her, I hate why she doesn't understand me, I have done all my best to operate on her, how can she treat me like this? But then I thought again, how old is she, she is still a child who doesn't understand anything, I hate her so selfishly, I am so conflicted, and I am so helpless..."

Sister-in-law Zhu covered her face and cried, and Xiaoqian watched her cry silently.

Through this helpless woman, she seemed to see thousands of women who were the same as the pillar sister-in-law.

They are ordinary like passers-by walking on the street every day, they want to give more, like the great mother who praises thousands of literary works, but the ideological consciousness cannot keep up with the ability, this strong contrast makes these women have a great denial of themselves.

Many seemingly contradictory traits come together, love and hate, dependence and independence, wanting to divorce and having to succumb to the shell of the family for the sake of the children, this is the status quo of most women in the period of social transition.

"Actually, it's normal to hate children."

"What?" The crying sister-in-law looked up at Xiao Qian, she had heard such a statement for the first time.

"Let me tell you, if psychology studies expressions, hating children is a normal reaction, do you believe it?"

"But everyone is saying that mothers should be great, and mothers should give everything to their children."

"Yes, all of them say that, when a woman says she hates children, everyone will accuse her, and even think that she is not worthy of being a person, but when a man says that he hates children, many people will think it is normal. We look at the creature of the child dialectically, who loves to cry, make trouble, and don't listen to the sermon, and knows every day that he asks for affection from you, especially when the child is just born, it is simply unspeakably annoying. ”

Some children are particularly able to cry, crying and making trouble all night after birth, and if you meet a straight male father and think that the child is the responsibility of the mother, it will be a tragedy.

Get up several times a night to feed your child, change diapers, and whether you are sick or uncomfortable, or whether you sleep soundly, as long as the cry sounds, you have to get up and take care of the child without hesitation.

Since having this child, life has changed all of a sudden.

It's not just physical exhaustion, it's a resentment that changes the trajectory of life.

Before having a baby, I occasionally went out shopping with my friends, did something I liked, and enjoyed myself.

After giving birth to a child, everything contributes to the child.

"Self" is a luxury after being a mother for a few years, especially when the baby is still a small baby, in order to take care of this little thing that doesn't know anything, you have to do your best to give everything, and a little carelessness is what a thousand people are referring to.

"The most feared thing is that the child is sick, the child is sick, and the first thing I say when I meet an ignorant person is, what do you think of the child? Many women in the first half of the child's birth, do not like the child is the most normal reaction, especially when you meet a husband who does not understand and does not help, your baby lacks father's love, when the child's father does not give enough love, the child will instinctively have an emotional request for the mother to double, at this time the mother is more tired, don't think that the man only makes money is enough, at least the love for the wife and the child still has to have, the lack will cause the mother's depression and the child's anxiety. ”

Xiaoqian said so much, I just want to tell her that hating children is not an unforgivable act, because most women have this psychology to a greater or lesser extent when they first have children.

"But the people around me are very fond of children, and they are all children when they talk and talk, only me..."

"If I say that many women say they like children, they are all pretending, do you believe it?"

Looking at the problem from a professional point of view, it is too different from the concept that is usually accepted, and the pillar sister-in-law was shocked again.

"It is precisely because of the rigid positioning of the mother's role in the general environment that many women subconsciously tell themselves that if they don't like children, they will be rejected by society, so they show that they especially like to show off their babies in front of people, and the more ruthless they are, they also reflect the emptiness of their hearts. After the change of identity, many women are using various methods to persuade hypnotize themselves to like children and invest in their feelings. ”

"You have given me a different perspective on the role of mothers... Don't all mothers love their children? ”

"Of course not, I'm just talking about a very normal mentality of a first-time mother, because just a mother, the mentality can't be adjusted, and there will be a little bit of annoyance for children because of fatigue and other reasons, which is a normal reaction, with the baby getting along, 99.9% of mothers will fall in love with their children, willing to give a lifetime, I affirm the greatness of maternal love, but do not agree that maternal love is innate, in fact, the relationship between mothers and children, is based on the process of getting along bit by bit, take care of this little thing, her trusting smile, dependent eyes, will make us willingly pay, gradually become the fetters of our life. ”

Motherly love is the greatest emotion in the world.

From the human emotion itself, the newborn baby to the mother always brings more troubles than happiness, if someone helps to share the pain of parenting is better, meet the husband who shakes the shopkeeper, think that as long as he gives a little home, he is responsible, go home and lie on the sofa to watch TV and play games or something, who knows the suffering of the mother?