In the past 20 years, I have also lamented that time flies like an arrow, and it feels beautiful that a young couple has become a legendary old husband and wife in the blink of an eye. However, the days we can stay together are nothing more than 40 years, half of which has passed, and the remaining years seem to be a matter of a snap of a finger.

After the separation, the feeling of this ephemeral time is even stronger. There is very little time we can squander at will, and even if we can hope for a reunion, it is still out of reach. I'm afraid that the remaining twenty years will be divided into half of the years and months to wait, full of the taste of lovesickness.

Yinzhen always stayed on my ship, never left, and accompanied me every day to watch the sunrise and sunset, the stars shift, the wide sea, the blue waves, and the silver moon was lacking. We don't seem to have enjoyed such a leisurely day, he doesn't have to be busy with government affairs all day long, running around for Kangxi and state affairs, and I don't have to care about the huge prince's mansion anymore, watching the women and children in the courtyard wander around in front of me.

However, our hearts are like a scab, both of us are in pain, but we lick our wounds alone, and we no longer touch each other lightly.

I know what day it is, August 13, the future Emperor Qianlong should be born.

I don't know if the little woman named Qi Zheng in the house is good, Yinzhen has never mentioned her, nor has she mentioned the child in her belly, as if she has uprooted the home in the capital from her memory. He didn't talk about Twilight, who was six months pregnant, as if he had never told me.

Hongli has it, and Hongli will be born in another three or four months, and all of them are conforming to history. So, who is my child? Could it be that Kangxi wanted Yinzhen to take him back, just to prevent the royal blood from flowing into the people, but he still wanted him to be like the Hongwan sisters and brothers?

It's okay this way, at least there is no hope, and they won't fight for it because of the disappointment of the unknown.

Yin Zhen and his brothers have been fighting for that chair for many years, although I don't know much, but I have personally experienced the cruelty under the undercurrent of wind and clouds, and even paid the price of a broken right arm.

Future...... Will my sons, who were born without the opportunity to ascend to the throne of God because of me, resent me, even hate me?

No, it won't! They are my children, brothers, who will only love each other and will not kill each other. Even for those half-brothers, they will not be cruel to harm. I will not watch them become like their parents, and I will never allow that to happen, and my brother will not be able to harm himself and not be able to show up to my children.

Honghui will not, Hongwan will not, although the child in the womb is not yet known to be male or female, but I have a feeling that such a tenacious little life should be a boy, and I believe he will not.

In order to wait for Yinzhen, our boat went slowly, but when we returned to Beijing, it was surprisingly fast. Since it was not yet the day of childbirth, we stopped and walked around the city where there was a port, but few people disembarked to go around, except for going into the city to exchange for the necessities of life on board, everyone guarded the big ship to spend time.

Because I am pregnant, life on the ship is boring, but because of him, I don't feel like a year. The closer I got to the capital, the more I felt that there was not enough time, and the more I saw the injury.

On the ninth day of September, it was another year of the Double Ninth Festival, and our ship docked at Yangzhou Port. Seeing that I still had no signs of childbirth, Yinxiang took Xiaoyan and the children into the city after a few words, and Su Changqing and Yanyu stayed on the boat and looked at me with Yinzhen.

In my sleep, I felt the pungent aroma of dogwood. It seems that Yinzhen took me out of the palace to visit the Double Ninth Festival market for the first time, and stuffed a small packet of dogwood into my hand. At that time, we were very young, and he was still a boy who laughed when he was happy, and when I first entered the Qing Dynasty, I often got into trouble and asked him to help me clean up a series of messes.

At that time, we lived in a small courtyard in the palace, and although we were awkward, we were simple and happy. Unlike now, he has become Prince Yong, who has a position of power, and can give me a big house, but after the love is deeply rooted, he can't help himself.

Dreams are always beautiful, I heard Yinzhen calling me, the voice was low and mellow, and I couldn't find the embarrassment when I changed my voice, but I wanted to hold on to the other him in the dream. Holding my hand and writing beautiful handwriting on the paper, losing my temper and hurting me, carefully medicating me, quietly holding my hand in front of my brothers, telling Sù Tangtou to prepare chrysanthemum wine and chrysanthemum cake for me, holding me and repeating it over and over again to make me believe in him and everything has him...... Don't want to wake up.

At that time, we went from the strangeness of the first acquaintance to the dependence on each other, from hurting each other to hugging each other tightly, in my memory, he was the moody but real and sensitive young man back then, and I was still a young girl who was pampered and cared for by him.

How did it get to this point? If God destined me to come to this other world to know and fall in love with him, why should we be separated? I've changed myself too much, accepted too many things that I couldn't accept, why punish me? Am I wrong?

Severe pain came from my lower abdomen, and I seemed to see myself falling on the stone steps in front of the pavilion, grabbing Meiyu's hand and asking her to find Yinzhen and her brother. How could I be so stupid at that time to get rid of our first child in my womb at the cost of hurting myself. If I had had that child, would history have changed and we wouldn't have come to where we are today?

I saw myself still lying there, blood gushing from the corners of my trousers, and the hem of my shirt and the stone steps were wet. I tried to run over and help her up, but I couldn't get out of my feet, so I could only watch her gradually close her eyes. I wanted to call someone to help, but I opened my mouth but couldn't make a sound, only to see Yinzhen and Yinxiang running from a distance, still the old youthful appearance. He threw himself on his knees beside her, calling her incessantly......

"Yue'er, Yue'er, wake up ......"

I frowned and stood by and watched, did he already call me that then? Why I don't even remember. The first time he called me Yue'er, when did he come, and I don't remember it at all. Or rather, I've always been Yue'er in front of him, and I don't have anything else, right?

The young man in the dream was still calling urgently, his brows were furrowed tighter and tighter, and in a blink of an eye, he became what he is now, holding my hand and calling non-stop, his voice became more and more urgent, "Show your smile, you wake up, do you hear, don't sleep, I don't allow you to sleep!" ”

Don't...... Over the years, he has indeed matured and been silent, but this domineering attitude has not changed.

On this day when you can't get off the ship, it's cool in the autumn, but it's a pity that the boat is very cold, and what else can I do if I don't sleep, let alone have a sweet dream to accompany me.

The throbbing pain in my stomach became more and more intense, too real for me to ignore, and the screams in my ears continued, refusing to let me go.

"Zhan smiled, did you hear it, wake up quickly. You promised me to live well and let me wait for you to come back, and you have to do what you say. Smile, don't sleep...... Give birth to our children. ”

Child? I tried to think about his words, and a tingling pain cleared my senses, and the damp heat flowed into my mouth, and the smell of blood mixed with a slightly sweet bitterness ran everywhere.

I looked at the man in front of me who was sweating from his forehead, and tried to sit up and raise my hand to wipe it, but the familiar shaking and labor pain in my abdomen threw me back into bed.

"Don't move." Yinzhen held my shoulders and pressed on the bed, and the thumb and fingertips gently wiped my middle and breathed a sigh of relief, and said in a low voice: "It's good to wake up, you are going to give birth, don't worry, I will accompany you, it will be fine." ”

No wonder my stomach hurts so badly that I am about to give birth, and I actually sleep so much that I refuse to wake up. Just, he wants to accompany me? Didn't the last paternity scare him, and again?

"Fujin, it's okay, Su Changqing said that as long as you wake up, you will be fine, and the slave will serve you." Yan Yu said and crawled from the end of the bed, and the ribbon in his hand shook so that my eyes were white.

What's to be done? I've had two births and I've never used this thing, and I don't need it now. No matter how unbearable it is, I can stand it, I don't want to be chained to the bed in front of Yinzhen, without dignity, don't!

I reached out and grabbed Yinzhen's chest, quickly unbuttoned the disc and stuffed my hand into the placket of his clothes. Yan Yu was still holding the long white ribbon in her hand, looking at me helplessly with her bed, lowering her head and explaining in embarrassment, "Fourth master, the slave maid doesn't want to do this, it's just that the sea is stormy and the boat keeps shaking, and the slave maid is for the good of Fujin." ”

Yin Zhen looked down at me, ignoring my constant shaking of his head and refusal, gently pulled out my hand and grabbed it in his palm, and took the white satin in Yan Yu's hand with his other hand, "Give it to me." ”

"Yinzhen ......" I wanted to beg him not to do this, but I was horrified to see him tie his right hand to mine at the head of the bed, his palm firmly grasped the plank at the head of the bed, and his left hand pressed my shoulder to help me lie down.

His face was close to my ear, and his voice was very soft but reassuring and warm to me, "With me, I won't let you have any problems." You just have to give birth to our children, and I'll do the rest. ”