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"Wow, that's not bad!"

"What's good?"

"Zhang Ye's cross talk?"

"Isn't it boring?"

"It's just the beginning, it's still the same taste as before!

"Really,, I'll take a look!"

"Look, I was almost fooled by those blacks!

"It's still the familiar Zhang Ye, it depends on what they say next!"

Some people in the cross talk world scoffed.

An apprentice of Tang Dazhang commented: "The cross talk of the party, in the jargon, is difficult in that 'fan'er', it is to look at the artistry and integrity, not to see whether one or two burdens are shaken, even if you are a burden and jokes throughout the whole process, there is nothing to make people precipitate and reflect, it is also called failure!"

A cross talk actor replied, "Yes, so it's hard to say cross talk at the party!"

Another apprentice of Master Xu, who was scolded by Zhang Ye at the beginning, said: "Zhang Ye is selling his little cleverness now, when it is really time to test the art of cross talk, he will not be able to do it, if you don't believe it, look down, the cross talk works spelled out by scattered baggage will only become more and more scattered, and there is no theme for performance." ”

Professionals still see it very accurately, in the past, the theme of Zhang Ye's cross talk was actually scolding, or scolding the cross talk world as the line, or refuting the anti-vulgar topic as the context, although people in the cross talk world don't like to listen to it, but to be honest, this kind of work is still valid, at least the line is clear, it is a complete work, but if it is just a thing pieced together with a burden of east and west, it can't be called cross talk. What's more, it's a more demanding evening cross talk?

……

The scene of the Spring Festival Gala in Beijing.

The cross talk continues.

Yao Jiancai: "I have to score 10,000 points?

Zhang Ye: "I mean, isn't there room for improvement? ”

Yao Jiancai: "Hurry up and rest, you will start to step on me during the New Year." Before going on stage, people can talk about the curtain, our cross talk is called "Everything is Okay", why are you talking farther and farther?"

Zhang Ye looked left and right, "Who is everything okay?"

Yao Jiancai: "Let's go!"

Zhang Ye snorted, "That's everything is fine with you, everything is bad with me!"

The audience is happy, what's wrong with Mr. Zhang?

Yao Jiancai said with concern: "Yo." What's wrong with the Chinese New Year? Haven't you always been fine?"

Zhang Ye gestured, "You see that you are praising me today, but in fact, I couldn't do it before." ”

Yao Jiancai: "Hi. Isn't this a time when everyone can't do it? ”

Zhang Ye: "Before I became the host of cross talk, I didn't even have a stable job. ”

Yao Jiancai: "Really?"

Zhang Ye said: "At that time, I just graduated from college and went out to look for a job. ”

Yao Jiancai: "It's all the same. ”

Zhang Ye: "I have had a dream since I was a child, I want to be a football player. ”

Yao Jiancai looked at him. "Yes. ”

Zhang Ye: "I went to sign up at that time. As a result, the coach of the team saw me and said that I was more than 14,000 times stronger than last year's World Footballer of the Year Paang!"

Yao Jiancai was surprised: "Hey, that's a genius!"

Zhang Ye: "Then he said that there were just two things that hindered my development. ”

Yao Jiancai said strangely: "Which two?"

Zhang Ye: "Left leg and right leg." ”

When the audience heard this, they all laughed like crazy!

"Hahahaha!"

"Left leg vs. right leg?"

"Oh, I'll go!"

"This stalk is so fucking funny!"

"What does Zhang Ye think, hahahaha!"

Yao Jiancai vomited blood, "Hey, then say you're not the material to do this!"

Zhang Ye said angrily: "I hate it too, it's useless to play football." I'd better apply for a job in the private sector, and I submitted a resume. When I went to the interview, the examiner didn't look at me and said, 'Give me a minute to remember you.'" ”

Yao Jiancai smiled: "Yes, many interviews say so. ”

Zhang Ye: "As soon as I thought it was okay, I walked over and gave him a big mouth when I was round!

Yao Jiancai was taken aback, "Hey, that's really remembering you!"

Big mouth??

The audience has already leaned forward and closed!

Zhang Ye: "As a result, I passed the interview, I just left the company on the front foot, and the phone call came on the back foot, and the person said, 'Please come to the company immediately'." ”

Yao Jiancai: "Hi. ”

Zhang Ye: "I thought about it for a long time, but I didn't dare to go!"

Yao Jiancai smiled: "You shouldn't go." ”

Audience: "Hahahahaha!"

Zhang Ye said angrily: "I hate, when I entered the toilet on the side of the road, I washed my face and said to me in the mirror, 'Zhang Ye, you have to be strong, such a little difficulty can't defeat you, come on, persevere'!"

Yao Jiancai nodded, "Don't be discouraged." ”

Zhang Ye: "After cheering myself up, my mood calmed down a little, and when I came out of the toilet, I saw a man coming out of the toilet door opposite Youda. ”

Speaking of this, Zhang Ye turned his head in horror.

Yao Jiancai was stunned, "Huh, you stayed with the women's toilet for a long time?"

Some of the audience burst into tears!

"Hahahaha!"

"Babble!!"

"Oops, I'm laughing to death!"

Several hosts of the Spring Festival Gala in Beijing over there are also about to laugh!

Dong Shanshan covered his mouth and had a lot of fun!

Zhang Ye hurriedly said: "I'll run quickly!"

Yao Jiancai: "You have to run." ”

Zhang Ye: "A group of old ladies came out of the toilet to chase me, and the first one shouted, 'Catch him, just him, talk nonsense in the women's toilet, I'm so scared that I don't dare to come out'!"

Yao Jiancai was happy: "You are unlucky enough." ”

Zhang Ye said angrily: "I can't go on like this, I have to work, I have to make money, what should I do if I want to make money? ”

Yao Jiancai shook his head: "Hey, give a gift?"

Zhang Ye: "After spending a lot of money, I finally became an official employee of a state-owned enterprise. I work in Beijing. ”

Yao Jiancai: "Yes?"

Zhang Ye said happily: "Our job is good, we don't have to work every day, and the section chief I gave gifts often takes us out to eat." It's just seven or eight people, and it's a big table of dishes every time. ”

Yao Jiancai: "What kind of dish?"

Zhang Ye: " Yes, steamed lamb, steamed bear's paws, steamed deer tail, roasted duck, roasted chicks, roasted goose oven, pig oven, duck sauce, chicken bacon, pine flower, small tripe, sauce meat, sausages, assorted crispy plates, smoked chicken, white face, steamed eight treasures, pigs, Jiang rice, stuffed duck cans, pheasant cans, quail marinated chickens, marinated goose pheasant, rabbit breasts, Lai python, whitebait, steamed hash, duck kidneys, braised duck strips, mixed loin, yellow heart tubes, boiled white eels, yellow eel, bean drums, abalone pots, roasted carp, boiled turtle, soft fried turtles, fried loin, soft fried chicken, sausages, boiled sausages, boiled jackdaws, spicy oil rolls, boiled fresh mushrooms, boiled fish breasts, fish belly, boiled fish fillets, vinegar sliced meat……”

This large section of the traditional "Newspaper Dish Name" made all the audience stupid!

The cross talk actors who watched the show in front of the TV also looked at each other and gasped!

Many people will say it, especially "Reporting the Name of the Dish", which is a basic skill for their cross talk actors. Many actors who are praised can come to the last paragraph, but the reason why they are shocked is because they really can't say what Zhang Ye said. Zhang Ye's speed of speech can be described as crazy, from beginning to end, it is the amazing speed of speech when he was the host of "The Voice" when he said the advertising words!

No one imitates it!

Speaking of which, this is the first time everyone has seen it!

Tang Dazhang's heart also sank. Unexpectedly, Zhang Ye skillfully integrated traditional cross talk into the show. also matched the speed of his speech that shocked the people of the whole country when he was in "The Voice"!

The applause at the scene was thunderous!

Bang Bang Bang!

"Good!"

"Well said!"

"That's amazing!"

"At this speed, it's going to take off!"

The audience also got goosebumps when they heard it, because it was too fast! This speed is three or even four times that of other cross talk actors when they say it!

It's scary!

Zhang Ye on the stage finished speaking.

Yao Jiancai exclaimed: "Why do you want so many dishes? How much does it cost?"

Zhang Ye shook his hand, "Public funds!"

Yao Jiancai suddenly said, "Hey!"

Hearing this, many cross talk actors were stunned again, is this satirizing eating and drinking with public funds?

Yao Jiancai: "Now that the state is cracking down on this, what about committing crimes against the wind?"

Zhang Ye said: "Not only do we eat, but our section chief often takes us on tours." Shanghai, Guilin. Suzhou, go anywhere. ”

Yao Jiancai: "You are also burning money." ”

Zhang Ye looked at Lao Yao, "But in the process of traveling, I found some uncivilized phenomena. ”

Yao Jiancai asked, "What phenomenon?"

Zhang Ye: "Some monuments, scenic spot signs, there are people writing on them, what is a visit here, what xx I love you, and someone carves his name, what Yao Jiancai......"

Yao Jiancai hurriedly stopped, "No me! I won't do this!"

The audience laughed: "Hahahaha!"

Zhang Ye: "Just an example." ”

Yao Jiancai said: "There is such an uncivilized phenomenon!"

Zhang Ye: "How strong my sense of justice is, I get angry when I see this, I'm so angry that I can't do it, I have to talk about them!

Yao Jiancai nodded, "Yes, I have to talk about them!"

Zhang Ye groaned, picked up the fan on the table as a pen, and wrote in the void, "This comrade, I want to criticize you! How can you scribble here? Do you still have any quality? Do you still have a sense of public morality? How did your father teach you? How did your mother teach you? How did your grandfather teach you? How did your grandmother teach you? How did your aunt teach you? How did your eighth aunt teach you?"

Yao Jiancai was stunned.

The audience laughed and trembled!

"I can't do it anymore!"

"Hahaha!"

"Oops, tears are coming out!"

Zhang Ye relieved himself and said: "Anyway, I scolded him on the wall with more than a thousand words!

Yao Jiancai glared and said, "More than a thousand words?"

Zhang Ye: "That's right, they're too uncivilized!"

Yao Jiancai said angrily: "People write a 'visit here' at most four words, you write more than a thousand words?

Zhang Ye rolled his eyes: "Why am I uncivilized?" Our section chief praised me after seeing it, he said Xiao Zhang, you have done a good job, and when you see this kind of uncivilized behavior, you must resolutely criticize and correct it!"

Audience: "Hahahaha!"

Yao Jiancai fainted: "What kind of section chief are you, something will happen sooner or later!"

Zhang Ye suddenly smacked his lips and said, "It's still very good for you to say, isn't it that something will happen in a few days." ”

Yao Jiancai: "What's going on?"

Zhang Ye: "Traveling abroad that day...... No, we called for an expedition abroad, and we met pirates over there in Ga-le-Bi. ”

Yao Jiancai was taken aback, "Huh!"

Zhang Ye: "The pirate took out the gun when he got on the ship, and he asked for five million!"

Yao Jiancai: "What should I do then?"

Zhang Ye: "It's still our section chief who has experienced a hundred battles, and he directly found the leader of the pirates and said, 'It's okay to ask for five million, but you have to issue me an invoice for 100 million'!"

Yao Jiancai: "Huh?"

Zhang Ye: "The pirates are crying, you still make money ruthlessly!"

Yao Jiancai: "Hi!"

The scene has been drowned out by laughter again and again!

"Hahaha!"

"Open an invoice of 100 million?

"Hahaha!"

Hearing this, the people in the cross talk world were already silent.

The cross talk actors who were still questioning on Weibo just now have no movement at this time.

The audience was all excited!

Giving gifts to the relationship?

Irony of eating and drinking at public expense?

Irony of tourism incivility?

Bluntly said that the reimbursement of public funds is tired?

This is the most basic means of crosstalk! This is a very advanced artistic expression!

Only now do many people know that Zhang Ye's crosstalk today is originally connected with his work experience, and uses funny baggage to satirize some unhealthy phenomena in today's society......

Who the said that Zhang Ye wouldn't talk about cross talk at the party?

Who the said that Zhang Ye couldn't talk about traditional works??

your grandma-grandma-ass!!(To be continued.) )