After three days in the hospital, I returned home with Yangyang. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 infoMy mom came to see me on the first day I was discharged from the hospital with two bags of milk powder and a box of biscuits, but she just sat on my bedside for an hour and went back to the countryside without even eating a meal, saying that grandpa was sick and wanted to go back to take care of grandpa. And my mother-in-law didn't come to take care of me after I was discharged from the hospital, because my sister-in-law had just given birth to a child for half a month, and she had to serve her daughter in confinement. In this way, after I gave birth, my mother and mother-in-law left me, although I felt desolate in my heart, and I cried secretly many times, but I did not blame them, because I insisted on giving birth to the child. They couldn't understand that I had to have a child before I got divorced, and they snubbed me because they wanted me to be responsible for my actions. Besides, grandpa really needs someone to take care of him, and my mother-in-law can't leave her daughter, who is also in confinement, I can understand them. So after I gave birth to a seven-pound son, I didn't receive special care like most mothers, but was left out like a person who made a mistake. Although Lu Tao will cook three meals a day in addition to his business, I have to do a lot of things by myself, and I can only take care of myself.

I had believed that I would take care of the children on my own, but after only one night, I realized that things were not as simple as I thought, because I barely slept the first night I came home from the hospital!

All night, I was busy making formula, feeding, changing diapers, washing butts, etc., and it was quite difficult for me, a new mother or crescent sister-in-law, to complete this series of tasks without training. Let's talk about breastfeeding first: it may be because I have been injected with anesthetics, when I was discharged from the hospital, the milk had not come down, and I had to feed the child milk powder. The problem is that I don't know how much a newborn eats at one time, how much milk powder to make at one time, and I don't know how often to feed it. I thought about it for a while, I set the baby's meal at 30ml, as for the interval between feedings, I did not set a fixed time, my approach is that the baby cries to feed, do not cry and do not feed. But it's complicated to operate. At the beginning, I found that the 250ml bottle I bought in advance was too big for a newborn, and the 30ml milk powder solution was swinging around in the 250ml bottle, and the baby had not taken a few sips, and the milk was cold. Also, it is often when the milk in my hand is just cold to a suitable temperature, but the baby falls asleep. And when he woke up crying and wanted to drink, the milk in the bottle was already cold. In this way, I had to pour out the cold milk many times and remix it again, and at the end of the night, I actually used up half a bag of milk powder. What makes me even more mad is that sometimes the child just finishes drinking the milk, and immediately vomits it all again, making the bedding all over the milk. That's not all, in the second half of the night, our family of three didn't have a quilt, because Yang Yang wet the quilt of the whole family! You know, his little cock is facing up, and when he pees, it is like a small fountain, always unscrupulously spraying the quilt covering him wet. He first wetted his own two small quilts, then I covered him with my quilt and let him wet it, and finally he simply even wetted Lu Tao's quilt, and the diapers under him didn't work at all. I was exhausted by dawn, but I still couldn't rest, so I had to hold Yang Yang in my arms and gently shake him, because he was crying all the time! In the end, I had to cry with him! And Lu Tao, who was still like a child, couldn't help me at all.

The next day, my head started to hurt, and then my room was swollen and painful, and coupled with Yangyang's constant crying, I felt like I couldn't hold it anymore. Seeing me like this, Lu Tao hurriedly moved his mother. After my mother-in-law came, she bought a small 100ml bottle for the child, and taught me some skills in feeding the child and padding diapers, so that I could save some effort.

Let's talk about diaper pads, it's all a technical job. It turns out that the diaper is to be folded into strips, sandwiched between the baby's legs, one end is pressed under the baby's little buttocks, and the other end is pressed under the baby's top, that is, the baby's little cock is wrapped, and he will not wet the quilt. And I was always lying under the baby at the beginning, unable to stop his little cock, no wonder he strafed all night long, so the quilt at home was completely wiped out. Now in small counties or rural areas, most families can't afford diapers, and they are still used to using diapers made of cotton for babies. I'm the same, with a salary of 300 yuan, I can't afford to buy diapers and diapers for Yangyang. Therefore, when Lu Tao comes back from work every day, in addition to cooking for me, he also has to wash a lot of diapers.

My mother-in-law only stayed for a day and then left, and before she left, she asked me to call my mother to take care of me, and I said no, I can do it myself. In fact, compared to my mother-in-law, my mother's failure to take care of me made me even more sad. But I won't say it, because I didn't listen to my mother's words and wanted to marry Lu Tao, and I had to bear everything I chose. And I also know that the 90-year-old grandfather really needs someone to take care of him. Therefore, every day in the next day, there were only two people in the house, me and Yangyang, and Lu Tao went out early in the morning to busy his business. Not long ago, he had just taken out a loan to rent a stall in a shopping mall, where he distributed bedding, and he was both a boss and a salesperson, and there were no days off for several books. His business hasn't yet paid off, and I haven't seen him get me a penny back. Since I got married, I have been paying for my living expenses from my salary alone, including the cost of having children. But now it seems that even if he earns money in the future, it doesn't matter to me anymore, because it won't be long before we are separated.

A week after I was discharged from the hospital, my head was still hurting, Lu Tao consulted the doctor, and the doctor said that it was caused by my failure to rest properly after I had spinal anesthesia in the operating room. Of course I couldn't do it because I had to take care of Yang Yang and myself! I was not only a pregnant woman, but I was also acting as a sister-in-law for myself, and I was very busy, and I had a lot to do in a day. Never have I ever slept for two hours in a row during the night. So I feel exhausted every day, my waist is about to break, and I can't sit up straight. Then I started to have nightmares, every night, I always dreamed that there were many demons robbing my child, and I was always yelling in the nightmares, so that Lu Tao couldn't get a good rest. Later, Lu Tao reported my nightmare to his mother, and his mother actually came to my house to set up a shrine and asked Lu Tao to make incense every day, saying that I had offended the Buddha and asked him to intercede with the Buddha for me every day and ask the Buddha to forgive me. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, is it a sin to have a child? I am very disgusted with my mother-in-law's behavior, every day as soon as Lu Tao leaves, I pull out the incense from the incense burner and throw it away, I think that burning incense can only pollute the air and is useless. I didn't believe in Buddhism in the first place, but when I saw my mother-in-law believing in Buddhism like this, I didn't believe it anymore! I knew that I had nightmares all because I was not resting well and my body was weak.

The milk powder that my mother bought for me quickly made Yangyang eat it, and I asked Lu Tao to buy some more, but when Lu Tao asked his mother what brand of milk powder to buy, his mother did not let him buy milk powder, so that the child could eat breast milk, she said that she kept feeding milk powder, which would make the breast milk back. In fact, when I felt that I had some milk, I had already let Yangyang suck my milk, but I felt that my milk was not enough, and I needed to supplement some milk powder. But my mother-in-law insisted on not feeding the child milk powder, saying that after the child sucked for a few days, my milk would increase. Although I usually don't dare to compliment my mother-in-law's many practices, I thought that my mother-in-law was a person who had given birth to several children after all, and my mother-in-law should be experienced in raising children, so this time I listened to my mother-in-law's words, stopped milk powder, and insisted on breastfeeding.

I don't know why, since Yang Yang started eating my milk, Yang Yang's stool is not normal, green and thin. My mother-in-law told Lu Tao on the phone that I must have let the child get cold, and Lu Tao naturally believed his mother's words, and got up every night to see if Yangyang's quilt had fallen off, or told me not to get too cold when feeding the child before going out every day. I know it's not for these reasons. The child's quilt is bag-shaped and cannot be kicked off. Besides, I won't feed my children cold water. There was no way, I still asked Lu Tao to invite a doctor. After the doctor's diagnosis, the conclusion he came to was much beyond my and Lu Tao's expectations -- the doctor said that Yangyang's green and loose stool was due to a lack of milk! That is to say, Yangyang couldn't eat enough every day! My God, am I starving my son every day? I love him like this! In order to prove it to us, the doctor brought us a breast pump and put it on my Ru room and sucked it violently, and sure enough, less than 10 ml of milk flowed out of the breast pump, which was obviously not enough for Yang Yang to eat! Although I was swollen and sore in the Ru room and** The doctor said that experienced women can judge whether the child is full from the child's fatness, the sound of swallowing when feeding, the number of crying, and the urine and urine, but I really don't understand these things when I give birth for the first time, and I have never been in close contact with a baby. After the doctor said this, I suddenly understood many things, such as why Yang Yang was so thin, his facial skin was saggy, wrinkled, he looked like a little old man, and he couldn't even find his round buttocks! Another example, Yang Yang often cried for a long time, he must have been hungry! Thinking of this, I suddenly felt a sense of guilt: I gave birth to him, but I couldn't take good care of him, and when I was not ready, I let a life come into this world casually, is it a very selfish behavior?

Fortunately, this time Lu Tao listened to the doctor's words and bought back a lot of milk powder. Yangyang began to use milk powder as a staple food again. Although my mother-in-law still advised me to focus on breast milk, I didn't listen to her anymore, I knew that the main thing was to feed the child, and it didn't matter whether it was breast milk or not, otherwise he would starve to death! After changing to milk powder, Yangyang's stool gradually turned yellow, and he slept peacefully. Two weeks later, Yang Yang's little face was rosy, his buttocks were slowly rounding, and he was one size a day, and he couldn't wear several small clothes.

After eating, Yang Yang spends most of his time sleeping, and he sleeps for more than 20 hours a day. So, most of the time I'm alone. I don't know why, after staying for a long time, I started to get scared, because the room was so quiet, it seemed like I was the only one in the world! If I fell asleep, I would have nightmares, and if I was awake, I would always hear a strange sound in my ears, a sound of dust falling or time passing, or a sound of another dimension. Although I am a materialist, loneliness still brings me great fear, and I often do not feel the breath of the world. Strangely enough, when I look at Yangyang's sleeping face, I also feel scared, because he often lies there motionless, like a rag doll or a scary baby specimen! Sometimes I can't help but put my fingers under his nostrils, feel his breath, and only relax when I am sure he is breathing properly. When I was most scared, I had to deliberately push Yang Yang awake and let him accompany me. I even pinched him a few times, deliberately making him cry so that there would be some noise in the room. And, all day long, I would stare out doors and windows, and I always felt like something evil was coming in. I told Lu Tao how I felt. The answer he got from his mother was that we were not sincere enough in the Buddha's confession and that we should burn more incense. And the answer I got from the doctor was that I had postpartum depression. Lu Tao believed both, on the one hand, he insisted on offering incense to the Buddha every morning and evening, and on the other hand, he stopped business and stayed at home to accompany me. But with him by my side, I still feel very lonely, I still have nightmares at night, and my headaches still continue. We couldn't say three words a day, and I don't know why we became so strangers. So it was as if I was still the only one in the room.