443. The suffering of the wanderer

From the tedious housework of a family of three to the loneliness of two people, from the intimacy of two people who have nothing to talk about - even a little dark psychology to tell each other, never worrying about being looked down upon, to the sudden nowhere to sue, we can imagine what kind of effort Shandan needs to make to adapt to this environment. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

She was still used to telling Gu Haiping when she had any thoughts, but when she found that Gu Haiping was no longer there, and all her thoughts had nowhere to speak, the loss and struggle in her heart knocked down her nerves from time to time.

The days are as usual, still resting in the office at noon, at that time, the two of them have to chat on QQ for a while before the lunch break, and then Shandan goes to rest, and Gu Haiping will look at the stock market for a while. She could imagine Gu Haiping at home, in her mind, there was a frozen and unchanging shadow that had been positioned in her space, and she could sense his existence.

Now, the consistent perception is still there, and in her habitual consciousness, he is still at home, in the study, and in front of the computer...... It's just that the man is long gone.

The new house is under construction, and the money is urging to be paid, Shandan has to endure angina again and again to go to the court to recover the compensation, but fortunately, there are colleagues from the unit to accompany and help, and there are also units to come forward, so after running to the court countless times, he got the compensation that Gu Haiping exchanged for his life, and the house money can be handed over.

They have been living in the apartment building of the hospital, and after Gu Haiping left, the barracks department has informed Shandan that the apartment building can only live for two years, and after two years, the house will be repossessed, and Shandan will have to find a way to implement the accommodation problem by himself. Although she can play tricks and not move out, Shandan is not such a person, even if she goes to rent a house, she will not rely on it.

In this regard, Shandan is just sad, if Gu Haiping is here, why is life so panicked? And she also knows that the world is hot and cold, and there are not a few people who fall into the well. Hopefully, in two years, the new house will be ready to move in.

If you want not to be trampled underfoot, you must strive to live better than others. Shandan has always understood this truth, and now, she can only rely on herself, and Xiaoyu's growth also requires her to shoulder the burden of life.

Crying will still cry, sadness will still be sad, but without that person, when all your sufferings are pitied, who will you cry to?

Slowly, Shandan began to regain the spirit of her youth, she began to raise her head and stride, and the spirit of the whole person was different.

She always understood: God saves herself.

It turned out that she was not a strong body, after losing 20 pounds, she only walked and floated, angina pectoris as always, sometimes worse, as a doctor, she knew that if she did not recuperate physically and mentally, it was likely that something would go wrong, so after a pause for half a year, she began to walk to work again.

At that time, she just started walking to work, and when she went home for dinner in the evening, Gu Haiping would take her to the physiotherapy department to do a Chinese herbal foot soak and foot massage.

She walked on the familiar park path again, sadness came from time to time, but she held her head high so that the tears did not fall, and tried not to let her mind stay in the past time, so as not to let herself fall into sorrow, her weak body, the same journey took 20 more minutes to reach the unit.

After work, it is not so hard to have a colleague's car ride home. Go home and settle Xiaoyu, then take out the wooden bucket for soaking your feet, and boil a pot of hot water to soak your feet. She has to actively regulate her body and mind, get better as soon as possible, and since she wants to live, she must live well.

When soaking your feet, looking at your lonely feet in the barrel, you will remember the scene of three pairs of feet frolicking in a wooden barrel at that time.

Every scene, every word, every thought is inseparable from "that time", which makes her miserable.

She also understands: the pain of this life will accompany the rest of her life, and slowly she may get used to the pain, and it will not be so painful, right?

When the days are busy, her thoughts will deviate slightly from the pain, so she makes herself so busy that she "doesn't have time" to think about Gu Haiping and her own situation.

Seeing that the Spring Festival is coming, in this festival of reunion of ten thousand families, the pain that Shandan has to endure can be imagined.

The mother was worried that Shandan would not have a good time, so she specially sent her grandson Xiaoyu to accompany Shandan and Xiaoyu for the New Year.

The Spring Festival is coming in the rainy and humid days of Yongcheng, the sun has not appeared for a long time like rotting, the daily drizzle is endless, endlessly floating, the umbrella is not wet, and if you don't play the umbrella for a while, your hair and clothes will be covered with a layer of mist, and you will feel wet with your hands.

On days like this, I feel like my whole body is moldy, and my home smells of mold and rot. Even the bedding was wet, cold and uncomfortable, and it took a long time to bake it with an electric blanket before it felt a little dry.

Xiaoyu is already a young man, the first time he took a plane alone, Shandan helped him buy a ticket, and he took a plane from Hohhot to Shanghai and came to Yongcheng by plane.

Shandan and a colleague's eldest brother went to the airport to pick up Xiaoyu, this child who watched birth and grow up is already a college student, and he is already a head taller than Shandan and has grown up.

Xiaoyu is still the same shy as before, and when there are strangers present, she doesn't talk about it.

Along the way, Shandan briefly inquired about Xiaoyu's itinerary, and the three of them stopped talking.

Back home, Xiaoyu expressed a warm welcome to her cousin's arrival. I'm busy showing my cousin a lot of my treasures.

Looking at Xiaoyu and Xiaoyu's lively and affectionate appearance, Shandan was very grateful to his mother. This Spring Festival, at least Xiaoyu won't be so lonely.

Xiaoyu, as the only son in the family, is studying outside, and can only go home once in half a year, and it is a big festival like the New Year, without Xiaoyu's festival at home, there are only four adults left, it should be deserted, right?

There are two children in a hurry, and the family has some life, and Shandan sits down to watch the two children play after finishing the housework.

If it is in his hometown, if he is not so far away from home, the children who are only children can also see each other often, and the family relationship will naturally be more intimate, and Xiaoyu grew up in Yongcheng since she was a child, and there are no other relatives by her side, so she can't feel the mutual love and support between relatives.

At that time, I thought that only the distance was heaven, and when I went far away, I realized what it was like to be far away from home, away from relatives, and lonely. When Gu Haiping was there, although there were no relatives by his side, Shandan didn't feel too lonely, but now, she and the young children were the only ones who went in and out, and there was no one to talk to or take care of them, so she really felt the pain of being away from her relatives.