Lin Risheng's memory before waking up was still stuck in the late summer, and when he woke up, it was early winter, the winter wind was roaring, and the cold air was invading his muscles. Pen @ fun @ pavilion wWw. ｂｉｑUｇE。 Info He sat on the bed and wrapped himself in the quilt until only one head was exposed. He hadn't taken a single step out of the house since he woke up, and no one except his close friends knew that his body had begun to recover. Concubine Lin Shufei once sent people to visit, and his friends from the DPRK and China also gathered to visit, but he refused all on the grounds that he was unwell and could not meet guests. He was bored in the room, and Chen Siyu also tried to talk to him, but he ignored him, and often sat as if he wanted to meditate, sitting for a day.

Chen Siyu is also a stubborn person to the bone, she and Gu Mengying have adopted the same strategy - wait! Cook on time every day, clean up the housework, he sits in the house, he doesn't care, she talks to herself, and if she can't go on, she sits with him.

Lin Risheng's vain strategy of trying to make her back down with a cold and indifferent attitude not only failed on Gu Mengying, but also on Chen Siyu. A woman's emotional patience and perseverance are not inferior to a man's strong forbearance in his career. Consuming it like this is a bland happiness for her, and a silent torture for him.

Finally one day, he actually took the initiative to invite Chen Siyu to dinner. She was overjoyed and thought that she was sincere, and the golden stone was opened. Who knew that after a glass of wine, she would be groggy, fall asleep, and never wake up. I didn't wake up until the next day, when Lin Risheng was already gone. He actually drugged her down and fled on his own, not even a letter left, and disappeared from her side silently. But she cried too much and too much, and it was difficult to leave more tears at that time. She rushed to Chu Yunxi's house and informed her of the situation, she was more worried about his life at the moment than angry and sad.

Chu Yunxi had to admit that the more she wanted to keep her distance from Shi Jiaheng, the more difficult it was for her to bypass his existence. Whenever she encounters a problem in Chang'an, the first person she wants to ask for help is him, since she restored her identity as a woman and lived back in Chu Mansion, her freedom has been increasingly restricted, and she has to look forward and avoid all kinds of open guns and arrows in the mansion, which is not easier than fighting wits with Chu Xiaolian in the painting academy.

Her contact with Shi Jiaheng was almost always done through the transmission of oral messages between Lu Yan and Geng Gong. Originally, this was an excellent opportunity to close the distance between Biyin and Geng Gong, but Lu Yan actively recommended her to complete it. But Biyin refused with a cold face.

From the time Geng Gong said that he liked the woman's name, she came back and cut her clothes and broke her thoughts, and she didn't even have the intention of fighting again, so she decisively let go. Her chic simply surprised everyone. The hurt of this relationship still left a lot of scars on her body. It turned out that the woman who loved to eat silly music and talk and laugh suddenly began to be silent, and now she can sit in the courtyard for an afternoon and quietly watch the fallen leaves. She had a cold and gloomy look on her face, occasionally came out with a few words about Buddhism, and she lost interest in food and clothes, and shuttled through the corners of the courtyard like a wandering spirit with a sleepy face all day long.

Midori tries to repair the relationship between the two, but finds that it is completely useless, how can the estrangement and rift already exist to make it disappear. Biyin's heart is not so big, and she doesn't understand the so-called truth of perfection, she just wants to be angry with Lu Yan to the end.

Lu Yan also understands that she is neither weak enough to compromise on everything, nor does she vent her anger indiscriminately, there is quite a kind of posture that you are cold and cold, and I am unmoved, and continue to do what she should do, without coaxing or making trouble, which is no different from usual.

Chu Yunxi was very anxious, and always thought to enlighten her. But she is like a rebellious child, who can't listen to the so-called big truths, and always shows a very impatient or perfunctory expression, which makes her deeply annoyed, seeing that she is getting depressed day by day, but there is nothing she can do.

Shi Jiaheng was also quite helpless when he heard that Lin Risheng disappeared for no reason, since he was a child, he was accustomed to seeing life and death, and he was deeply worried about the fragile psychological tolerance of these noble children who grew up in wealthy families. From Gu Chaomin to Lin Risheng, they almost all failed in their weak ability to bear, because the blow of family, career, ideals, and love either distorted personality or negative sinking, how can they support the burden of a country's prosperity with their thin shoulders, this empire has suppressed the new generation of young people because of too many ideological constraints and too many rules.

He inquired about the news from the guards of the various gates in Chang'an City, and there was no young man of Lin Risheng's age and dress out of the city during this period of time, and he troubled the generals of the defenders everywhere to help investigate, and then conveyed the news to Lin Yueyuan.

Lin Yueyuan asked to leave the palace in the name of visiting her brother as usual, and Li Tan instructed her to say a few things, as if every time she left the palace, she would be soiled by the dust of the market. She listened impatiently, and hurriedly left the palace after casually agreeing to him.

When she arrived at the Lin Mansion, Chu Yunxi and Yan Qingshuang were sitting in the house waiting for her, but Chen Siyu was nowhere to be seen.

When she asked curiously, Chu Yunxi told her that Chen Siyu had just left, and she left a sentence when she left, she would wait for him by Yanlu Lake every day, and if they found him, please tell him and let him come to see her.

Lin Yueyuan only felt that the matter had come to this point, Lin Risheng ran away clearly to avoid her, she was so stubborn, it was really boring not to forgive, and frowned: "In my opinion, if my brother wants to leave, let him follow his wishes, why force him to come back." Siyu is too, it's already like this, what's the point of reluctantly, it's better to forget it. ”

Yan Qingshuang kept showing displeasure, her face was tense, and she looked like she was holding back her anger. As soon as Lin Yueyuan's words came out, she stared at her, her expression was terrifying, and she said sharply: "I don't think so, your brother is simply evading." Leave your sister, relatives, and friends alone, run away in disgrace, and dare not face it for the rest of your life, can you really be happy? I don't understand, there used to be a family and responsibilities between him and Siyu, it was the will of God, and he had no choice but to accept his fate, but now. These obstacles don't exist anymore, even Gu Mengying is dead, but he doesn't dare! If he wasn't your brother, I would have beaten him a long time ago, do you believe it, how many people's hearts have been broken by an unresponsible man like him. Now he is saying goodbye without saying goodbye, it is a cowardly act, and even I look down on him. ”

Yan Qingshuang's ruthless accusation ordered Lin Yueyuan to be useless, and she stood up unconvinced and retorted: "Hey, it's rude for you to say that. After all, my sister-in-law died to save my brother. My brother felt guilty in his heart, and naturally it was difficult to accept it for a while. Besides, my sister-in-law has only been dead for a few days, if my brother immediately finds a new love, wouldn't he become a ruthless person who likes the new and hates the old. My brother is different from the old man in this regard. ”

Yan Qingshuang's face was like an ice cover, his eyes were like electricity, and he said with a fierce momentum: "Since I came to the Central Plains, the most difficult thing to accept is to keep the festival, the husband dies and the wife will be widowed for a lifetime, and it is ridiculous to regard it as loyalty!" You say I'm rude, but Zhuangzi's wife died, Huizi hung him, and Zhuangzi sang with a drum. Keiko was puzzled. But Zhuangzi said, 'No. It is the beginning and the death, how can I be without generality! Observe its beginning and have no life, not in vain and formless, and not in vain and formless. Mixed between the mang, change and gas, gas change and form, change and life, now and change and die, is the phase and for the spring, autumn, winter and summer four seasons also. People slept in the huge room, and I cried casually, thinking that I couldn't get through my life, so I stopped. Master Zhuang also knows that birth, old age, sickness and death are common feelings, but human beings cannot stop them, people do not live for the dead but live for life, the deceased is gone, you put it in your heart and remember it at all times. The dead know underground and will be grateful. Why do you have to lose your life? ”

Lin Yueyuan crossed his waist and snorted coldly: "What kind of fallacy are you. ”

Yan Qingshuang was aggressive, her words hit her like a cannon, and she asked loudly: "Is it that the living live happily is disrespectful to the dead, and it is necessary to live with sorrow and sorrow to comfort the dead, you say I am a fallacy, I think you are stupid"

Lin Yueyuan was bombarded by her repeatedly, and she was a little confused when she asked, and she wanted to refute the other party in a hurry, but she was speechless for a while, so she had to turn to Chu Yunxi for help: "Yunxi, do you say that what I said is right, or what she said is reasonable." ”

Chu Yunxi's face was embarrassed, he was silent for a while, and said while thinking about it: "If it was before, I would definitely firmly believe that you were right. But now, I think that if you are sincere and sincere to observe the festival for your loved ones, it is naturally touching, but if it is out of moral responsibility, it is not necessary. Your brother's relationship with Dream Shadow is not the same as that of your eldest brother and sister-in-law's unswerving death. Your brother feels more guilty about Dream Shadow, and if he lives up to his beloved because of this, it will be a mistake on top of a mistake. ”

The heavy shadow that Lin Chang brought to her lingered, and Lin Yueyuan couldn't bear this kind of half-hearted behavior, so much so that it affected her judgment. She almost paranoidly roared, "Isn't that sister-in-law just like my poor mother-in-law?" I made a mistake, and my brother has become a negative man who everyone shouts and beats! ”

Chu Yunxi looked at her worriedly, compared to her gaffe, Yan Qingshuang was very calm, she sat back, and said calmly: "You calm down." Your brother will always have your sister-in-law in his heart, but there is no other way, even if he does not marry her for the rest of his life, he will not come back from the dead. You have to understand that your brother's happiness is what really exists and is worth working on. For the sake of a dead man, the living will not be at peace, and the dead will not be at peace if they know it. If Gu Mengying is still alive, if she sees your brother suffering so much because of her, will she be able to feel at ease? ”

Yan Qingshuang's words inspired Chu Yunxi, and she suddenly understood: "Yes, Qingshuang is right, I remember Siyu told me that Mengying once mentioned the idea of serving a husband with her before her death, not to please her husband, but just for his happiness." But Siyu refused, and she would also feel distressed in the face of Mengying's unrequited love. We shouldn't speculate so narrowly about the heart of a selfless person, and it is also her wish to let Lin Risheng and Chen Siyu finally become married. ”

Lin Yueyuan didn't expect Gu Mengying to make such a big concession, she remembered that her mother had made a big fuss when she learned that her husband had a new love, refused to let the woman enter the door with her life as a threat, and even forced her father to leave the house. In the palace, she has also seen those women who are scheming to compete for favor, carefully dressing up every day, waiting for luck on the emperor's way to the next court, and she has also heard about many harem intrigues and deceitful struggles. Therefore, in her heart, love cannot be touched, and she would never have thought that there is such a woman in the world who can compromise to this extent for the sake of her beloved. She is also confused, love is difficult to distinguish between right and wrong, and she, a person who has no half lust in her heart, can never understand,

She didn't bother anymore, she just followed everyone to find Lin Risheng back, as for the entanglement between him and Chen Siyu, she had to let the two of them solve it by themselves.

The strange thing is that Lin Risheng hid very cleverly this time, several of them searched for two days and did not find it, Shi Jiaheng has a duty, he can't look for it in person, but he checks the inventory records reported by various city gates every day, and the three of them disguise themselves as men and ask everywhere in inns, hotels, and teahouses, but there is no news.

None of them had heard of Lin Risheng having a close friend in Chang'an City, and he could be allowed to hide for the time being. Chu Yunxi ran aimlessly on the street for a while, and happened to pass by the familiar alley, she hesitated for a moment and ran into the alley quickly.

The courtyard at the end of the alley was still the same, the lock on the door was gone, she reached out and pushed the door, sure enough, the door was locked from the inside, she was happy, knowing that she had come to the right place.

She stretched out her hand to knock on the door, but after thinking about it, she shrank back, went around to the courtyard wall, raised her breath and kicked the wall, and at once she ran over the wall and landed steadily on a layer of dead grass in the courtyard. There was a strong smell of food in the room, and she crept along the wall all the way, and the door was not closed, and she dodged in.

A person with his back to her in a thick quilt was cooking porridge on the small stove where she used to boil medicine, she put her hand on his shoulder and shouted softly: "Lin Risheng." ”

Lin Risheng paused, didn't dodge, sighed and said, "I knew that only you could find here." ”

Chu Yunxi moved a chair and sat opposite him, seeing that his hair was not combed, his drape was scattered behind his head, a layer of grease was rubbed on his cuffs, and a circle of blue on his chin was a short layer of stubble on his newly emerging head, he looked haggard and his eyes were blank, like a prisoner who had been tortured for a long time.

She looked at him with such a radiant and sad look, and remembered Yan Qingshuang's words, he was desperate for life, and responsibility and morality were just an excuse to escape.

He hung his head and shrunk limply under the covers. She looked at him through the misty steam in the pot, as if with the protection of this layer of water vapor, she could say what she wanted to say without scruples. He was badly injured and needed to find a quiet place to recuperate alone, and she was cruel enough to tear open his wound and pour medicine into it.

"Lin Risheng, you just left, do you know that we are all looking for you?"

He coughed and said timidly, "I'm sorry. ”

She paused for a moment and said, "Siyu is still waiting for you by the Yanlu Lake." ”

He looked at the boiling thick porridge in the pot and did not speak.

Chu Yunxi knew that he would disgust him by doing this, but he still gritted his teeth and said: "You can hide for a while, but you can't hide for a lifetime." Are you going to lock yourself in this room for the rest of your life and not go out to meet people? ”

Lin Risheng folded his arms on his laps, buried his head heavily on them, looked very tired, and said in a muffled voice: "She is as dead-eyed as Mengying." But as you said, she will wait for me for a day or two, a year or two, but not for a lifetime, she will be tired and tired one day, and she will naturally leave then. ”

She shook her head and said, "You also said that Siyu is a dead eye. Dream Shadow can give up his life to save you. How do you know that Siyu won't think about being sad and desperate and going to a dead end? ”

He shuddered, and suddenly raised his head.

She stared into his eyes and said sincerely: "Lin Risheng, tell the truth. I used to think that love was poison, and it should not be touched or touched. Therefore, when Siyu was sad and painful for you in front of us, I never even said a word of comfort to you. At that time, I stubbornly believed that all attempts for love would be in vain. At that time, I also firmly believed that you would definitely follow the career path arranged for you by your family. The destiny of heaven cannot be violated, and the fate cannot be reversed. ”

She sighed and smiled helplessly: "But on the other hand, isn't what I have been doing exactly fighting with the Mandate of Heaven, knowing that Chu Xiaolian is powerful and powerful, but still fighting with him, knowing that the Sacred Heart is unpredictable but I want to go against the sky." Unexpectedly, when I took revenge, this lonely courage was worn out, and I became timid and timid. I thought you would be trapped in clan responsibilities for the rest of your life, but you ended up rebelling against the so-called established fate. It can be seen that there are no immutable rules in this world. The world is unpredictable, and fate is unpredictable. Now I think about a girl named Yinsui who I know, although she misbehaves, she can also afford to be bold and fearless. She once told me that the love between men and women is a blessing from heaven and not everyone can encounter it. I guess the short-term happiness it brings to people is far greater than the long-term pain, otherwise why would Siyu, Mengying, Big Brother, and Qingxu follow one another, and live and die for them without hesitation. ”

Lin Risheng began to change his absent-minded attitude, became a careful listener, and gradually fell into deep thought.

Chu Yunxi felt that he was slowly moving him, and couldn't help but show a smile of relief: "There is no so-called do's and shouldn't's in this world. Dream Shadow died for you, you think that if you are with Siyu at this time, you will betray and let her down, so you blame yourself and try your best to avoid it. But Lin Risheng, all this is just your guess, a woman who is willing to die for you will definitely take your happiness as her greatest wish. You tortured yourself to atone for your sins, but you also tortured her in disguise. And you've already lost your happiness once, so why miss it again. Siyu has given up marriage for you, she said that she had been in the sea, and she had tried, and she couldn't tolerate others anymore in her heart, and she would never marry in her life. Lin Risheng, since you have given up everything, why do you shrink for a while and cause lifelong regrets? Don't forget, you owe not only Mengying, but also Siyu. The dream shadow is gone, and you will no longer be able to make up for and repay it in this life, but Siyu is close at hand, why do you want to hurt again and again? If you really want to atone for your sins, why don't you redeem this life for Siyu and return it to Dream Shadow in the future. ”

After Chu Yunxi finished speaking, Lin Risheng did not answer, and was silent for a long time. But she still felt his emotion from the slight change in his face. She didn't force her to leave with her, she understood that he needed time, he needed to be alone, he needed to think.