Chapter 46: Looking Back on the Past (2)

Li Tan's illness was overthinking, and Concubine Lin Shu finally saw something unusual, so she tentatively proposed in front of her son that when he was well, she would take Lin Yueyuan back to the palace. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 info Li Tan really swept away the negative and depressed atmosphere of the past few days when he heard it, and he didn't regard eating and drinking medicine as a perfunctory thing as usual, but on time and in quantity, as a daily compulsory homework.

Concubine Lin looked at her son's behavior, and her heart was like a mirror. Naturally, he took the initiative to propose marriage to Lin Chang without mentioning it, at that time, Lin Chang was frustrated in the tug-of-war, and when Lin Shufei wanted to discuss it with him, he left Chang'an with an angry sentence: "Let them love as they like" and left Chang'an.

As soon as her father left, the confinement of the two was automatically lifted, and Concubine Lin Shufei hurriedly sent someone to take Lin Yueyuan back to the palace, although she was not worried about her brother's body, but Concubine Lin Shufei's order to let her return to the palace quickly on the grounds of Li Tan's physical deterioration made her unable to disobey, fortunately, Lin Risheng was also a doctor, and there were many servants in the house, so she got into the carriage under the weak urging of her brother. Before leaving, she sent a letter to Chu Yunxi and asked her to help take care of it. But Chang'an City is full of people, and Chu Yunxi is also powerless, so she can only turn to ask Shi Jiaheng.

Shi Jiaheng took on the heavy responsibility without hesitation, but the news he fed back was very bad. Lin Risheng had a high fever, babbling all day long, not taking medicine stones, and even unable to eat water and rice.

Chu Yunxi anxiously helped to find the doctor, but there was nothing he could do, and it was not until the last doctor said in a hesitant and guessing tone that the two suddenly understood that he was about to die in a trance.

Chu Yunxi was in a hurry to go to the doctor, and wrote a letter to Chen Siyu, hoping that she could provide some solutions. thought that even if the two couldn't be husband and wife, they still had a friendship in the end, but this letter was like a stone sinking into the sea, and there was no response.

If you are in love, you can even be indifferent to the life and death of the other party? Chu Yunxi couldn't help but feel a little chilled.

Lin Risheng fell into a deep coma, and every day he only relied on the porridge water that people forced him to pour into him to keep him alive, and his body gradually dried up and became very light and thin. Chu Yunxi quietly came to see him twice, but he could only sit on the edge of the couch and cry sadly.

The approval of the resignation has been issued, and he is now a free body without official rank, he could have spread his wings and fly high, but he is still trapped in a dream by his own thoughts. You can know that the greatest shackle in the world is your own heart.

The two didn't dare to tell Lin Yueyuan, they could only watch in horror as Lin Risheng fell asleep day by day, fearing that one day his heart would be choked by himself and stop beating.

Hope always comes in times of despair.

That day, Chu Yunxi finally found a reason and sneaked out of the house to visit Lin Risheng. When she came every day, she still dressed up as Chu Changgeng that day, and her subordinates thought that she was a friend made by her master in the court, but she was full of respect for her.

The salary has stopped, and the Lin Mansion naturally can't afford to support so many people, Shi Jiaheng dismissed most of them, and only two or three loyal servants were reluctant to leave, and they wanted to send their masters on their last journey.

When she entered the house, she helped Lin Risheng tidy up her clothes and quilts, and put a new dress that she made with Lu Yan and Biyin at the head of the bed, and she would change it for him when Shi Jiaheng came next time. She picked up the broom against the wall and swept the floor.

Hearing the footsteps, Chu Yunxi was not surprised, nor did she raise her head, until her gaze inadvertently swept over her goose yellow hem and the silver embroidered shoes that slightly exposed the tips of her shoes, and then she saw the shadow of the other party's careful picking. She looked up in amazement, the broom in her hand fell to the ground, and there was a snap, and there was only the gentle warmth of the sunset in the quiet room.

Chu Yunxi snorted and shouted, "Siyu." "My eyes were so sore that I couldn't open them.

Chen Siyu smiled lightly, she put the basin in her hand on the table, and then turned to greet her.

Chu Yunxi admitted that at that moment, the emotion in her heart was indescribable. The painful impression of love is reversed at this moment, love can destroy a person, but it can also make a person. People become vicious and merciful because of it. She suddenly remembered that Yinsui had gray hair on her head, drank a sip of old wine, and said to her lightly but tenaciously: I don't regret it.

Chen Siyu at this moment is the same, she stands there slimly, without any words, and her smile is full of firmness that I don't regret.

So without saying anything, Chu Yunxi stepped forward and gave her a grateful hug. When the two embraced, one smiled brightly, and the other had tears in their eyes.

Chen Siyu stayed in the Lin Mansion so quietly. Chu Yunxi didn't ask anything, but she knew what she had paid, in addition to her hard work, as well as her reputation and marriage.

With Chen Siyu's care, Lin Risheng's condition has improved significantly. Chu Yunxi and Shi Jiaheng were relieved, and Lin Yueyuan even excitedly asked to kowtow to her to thank her after knowing it.

He began to regain his whispering, pulling Chen Siyu's hand on his forehead from time to time, calling Gu Mengying's name in his mouth. When the night is silent, she will also silently miss the deceased woman in the room where the two have lived, she will be sad, she will miss, she will be sad, but she will not be jealous and angry, a noble woman who sacrifices for love deserves her greatest respect.

If she could keep a record of the names he had silently recited in his dreams, she might have gained a hint of joy, for he still missed her most of the time.

Lin Risheng struggled to swim in the lake of his dreams, and after a few months of aimless drifting in the water, he suddenly noticed that the water in the lake was gradually decreasing. Originally, although he was immersed in the lake, he was never afraid of peace, but now that the lake water has decreased, he is uneasy and uneasy all day long.

Finally, one day, when the lake dried up completely, he lay in the middle of a pile of gravel in the middle of the lake, looking at the cold sun above his head, which was not blazing but somewhat cold, and he became tired, and in the strong thirst for the lake, he struggled to open his eyes. In front of him was a strange world, and he was so dizzy that he couldn't make out what was around him. It wasn't until he got used to the cold light in the room that he groaned as if in a dream.

Chen Siyu trembled when she heard the voice and turned around, she was a little overexcited, and knocked down the teacup and teapot on the table. There was a loud bang on the ground, which startled Lin Risheng and turned his head in shock.

The two looked at each other, Chen Siyu lost his strength, and fell to the ground when he landed.

Lin Risheng saw her suddenly, he was stunned for a while, he had been asleep for too long, so that his memory was disordered, he saw her standing on the ground, he couldn't remember who she was, he was at a loss, he wanted to help, but he didn't know that he was lying on the bed, his body was sore, he stood up with all his strength, but half of his body fell to the ground.

Chen Siyu stumbled up, ran over and hugged his body, and cried loudly. He was so frightened that he didn't know what to do or what to say, so the two sat on the ground with each other in their arms. He listened to her sorrow, he stroked her hair as if he was distressed, and comforted: "Dream Shadow, don't cry. ”

Chen Siyu was stunned, and there were other indescribable emotions mixed with joy and sorrow, her cry gradually fell, sobbing and withdrawing from his shoulder, he still had a demented look, as if the person had woken up but not returned.

She helped him back to bed, and she went to the kitchen to serve the medicine, and he fell asleep again.

He woke up like a dream like this, Chen Siyu was anxious, and Shi Jiaheng also came to visit, but he was still stupid and stupid.

Chu Yunxi couldn't help but let Yan Qingshuang cooperate with Lu Yan and Bi Yin to try a trick Li Dai Tao stiff and sneak out. Coincidentally, Yan Qingshuang and Chu Yunxi, the two people with very different temperaments have similar figures and similar face shapes, although one is sharp and the other is elegant, but just looking at the back and sitting posture is really difficult to distinguish between the real and the fake, and the two of them easily escaped the eyes of everyone in Chu Mansion several times when they changed their clothes.

Interestingly, Lin Yueyuan and Chu Yunxi tacitly chose to visit her on the same day. And Lin Risheng's terrible memory was miraculously restored the moment he saw the two of them standing in front of the bed.

Afterwards, Lin Yueyuan had curiously chatted with Chu Yunxi about this incident, and Chu Yunxi guessed that it was probably because the two of them brought him the best memories of his youth, when he saw his relatives and best friends at first glance, that excitement broke through the fog that filled his heart, and made him suddenly see the blue sky.

Chen Siyu is undoubtedly heartbroken, especially since he has been avoiding talking to her, looking at her, and even being in the same room. She didn't expect that the two of them had stumbled to the present, and her life and memory in him turned out to be a nightmare?

She felt that she should slap herself, and then return him a few slaps, end the relationship in style, and leave without looking back. Of course, imagination is always far from reality, if she can really advance and retreat so freely, she will not be unwilling to agree to the marriage of the Xiao family from beginning to end, and she will not decide to come to his side without hesitation when she receives Chu Yunxi's letter. As she grew older, she admired more and more how subtle the arrangement of fate was, God gave her a shrewd brain, but always let her do stupid things emotionally.

The indifference given by her beloved that she felt at the moment was Gu Mengying's daily life at that time. She was unwilling to wait, even for a cruel reply.

She stood outside the door and hesitated for a moment, pinched herself, and then pushed the door in. Lin Risheng was sitting at the table drinking porridge, when he heard the sound of pushing the door, he didn't see her face, he only smelled the faint smell of osmanthus dew in her hair, so he stood up at a loss, turned to the other side of the table, and only left a weak back to her.

Chen Siyu gritted his teeth, and suddenly ran around the table with force. In a panic, he squatted on the ground with his head in his hands.

Tears wet the stray hair on the top of his head like rain, and he looked up, his face a miserable white color. He let go of his hand, grabbed the leg of the table, and curled it up, hoping to get under the ground.

A warm hand rested on his shoulder, and he shrank and hugged the leg harder.

"Lin Risheng, talk to me." No matter how much she tried to calm her emotions, her barely squeezed smile still had a hoarse cry in it.

Lin Risheng trembled, and Chen Siyu's weeping tears fell into his neck as she wrapped around his neck. As if burned by a soldering iron, he struggled for a moment, but had no strength but to let her hold him still.

The two snuggled up to each other for a while, Chen Siyu leaned on his shoulder, his body pressed against his back, and he only felt as if he was hugging heaven and earth, and the greatest satisfaction and wish in this life was like this.

It didn't take long for Lin Risheng to feel that his whole body was floating and difficult to support, so he collapsed softly in Chen Siyu's arms.

She sat on the ground with him in her arms, gently combing his hair with her hands.

He was dazed and remembered what she said when she left, and pushed her as if he was asleep: "Thank you for coming to see me, you have done your best to me." Let's hurry back to Xiao Gongzi. ”

She smiled tearfully, pulled his head over and faced her face, and shook another strand of hair at him, "Look. ”

His eyes were sore and painful from sitting all night, and when he wanted to open them, he would cry bitterly, so he had to squint his eyes and take a cursory look. The cheeks that were still a little round have been a little thinner, and the face is quite normal, although there are tears, but the smile on the face is as quiet as laurel. He didn't see anything unusual for a while, but when his eyes moved up, he saw that she was still wearing a girl's hair in a bun, and when he knew that she was still unmarried, he didn't have much joy in his heart, but sighed and said, "Why do you want to deepen my sin." ”

She put her hands on his waist, buried her head in his neck, and wept, "It's all fate." ”

His eyebrows were furrowed, and he said in great pain, "Dream Shadow is dead. He died to save me."

She choked up: "I know, I didn't mistake her, she is a good girl, I admire her and appreciate her." ”

"She's a good wife, but I'm not a good husband."

Hearing Gu Mengying, Chen Siyu shed a lot of tears with her, Lin Risheng turned his head to look at her red and swollen eyes, infinite pity, and couldn't help but raise his hand to wipe her tears, excited, coughed a few times, and felt the gentle hand slowly patted on his back.

He pushed her away ruthlessly and said, "You go, I don't want to see you again." I'll leave here soon, and we'll say goodbye, and from now on, you and I will have nothing to do with each other. A Gu Mengying has been killed by me, you should also be sober, just like you scolded me by the Yanlu Lake at the beginning. ”

Chen Siyu thought she could bear it, but as soon as the ruthless words entered her ears, her whole heart was broken. She covered her face in pain, tears dripping down her fingers: "Where are you going?" ”

He said gloomily: "I have already resigned, and I will wander around at the ends of the earth in the future." ”

She looked up with tears on her face and asked, "What about your father, your family, and your sister, don't you even ask?" ”

Lin Risheng, who was tired and tired, lay on the ground on all fours, staring at the beam above his head with his eyes straight, a feeling of dizziness hit, and he suddenly had the idea of abandoning the world, and said in frustration: "I tried, I tried, I failed." I admit that I am a piece of waste, I can't afford the burden of my family, so I give up. ”

She felt that she was simply willing to be cheap, but what to do, she couldn't control her heart. She hugged her knees and moved beside him, and suddenly plucked up the courage to say, "That's fine." Lin Risheng let me wander with you, let me take care of you. I think Dream Shadow must have been very uneasy about you when she left, if I were by your side, she would be able to look down under the nine springs. ”

A nameless anger rose in Lin Risheng's chest and abdomen, he turned over and sat up, and said angrily: "Why are you so ignorant of self-love? You are such a flowery girl, why do you have to destroy yourself on me. I beg you, you go, good men in the world have a lot of money, as long as you are willing to marry a good family, it is easy. Why do you have to pester me, your arrogance, your self-esteem, don't forget that you are the eldest lady of the Chen family, not a slave who can be called around casually, what does it mean that you suffer with me, no name and no point? The more affectionate and intentional you are, the more you dare to love and hate, the more incompetent, cowardly, and unkind. Do you have to force me to be ruined to be satisfied? ”

Chen Siyu cried in his arms and sobbed: "What I said to you is right, I just can't think about it, I have to waste your good years." I can leave you. ”

She raised her head and looked at him with beautiful eyes: "Unless you can dig yourself out of my heart, so that I don't worry about you, I don't break your soul, even if you die in front of me immediately, I can not be sad or sad, not angry or hateful." If you can help me do it, I Chen Siyu swear with my life, I will never appear in front of you again, and I will never shed a tear for you again. ”

Lin Risheng sighed weakly, shook his head and said, "You know that I can't do it." ”

The two sat against each other, and he kept persuading Chen Siyu to give up her thoughts: "Go and find a place suitable for me to survive, to find a place where my soul can be peaceful, and this kind of place is not suitable for you, you are destined to suffer with me." ”

It's a pity that her extraordinary firmness makes him helpless, and even afraid: "I'm not afraid of hardship, for my husband, I will be broken to pieces." ”

He thought she would regret the impulsive decision she had made today: "No. Don't make such a terrible vow lightly, I don't need your promise to give your life for me. For most people, life is not a sharp blade but a hair-thin needle that pierces your body everywhere, and at first you may not care about the tiny pain, but when it comes together in large numbers and densely it makes people crazy. And my future life may be like that for you, can you endure living in a dirty environment, can you endure poverty and misery, and are you willing to leave this comfort behind in exchange for that wandering? None of this kills a person, but it does wear away a person's passion for love. ”

Equally stubborn, neither of them could convince the other.