What impressed me the most was Ke Ai's red dress. Pretty like yarn.

At that time, I followed her and shouted, "Love, love!" She would stop and look at me with a smile: "Brother, brother, follow my sister!" ”

I nodded vigorously, "Hmm." ”

We went up the mountain to catch insects together, planted trees in front of my grandfather's house together, and carried school bags to school together. We both look very alike, and sometimes, I will dress up as her and she will dress up as me for a day. Grandpa can see the difference at a glance, but others will admit their mistakes if they are not careful.

Ke Ai is my idol. She was always so generous, optimistic, and would say lots and lots of things. She is the class leader and a member of the study committee. All her classmates and teachers loved her.

And me, I'm like the little tail behind her, the little shadow. As long as you stand with your sister, it's fine.

The teacher said, "This Ke Qian, like a girl." Ke Aicai is like a boy, taking on the life of two sisters and brothers, at a young age, it is not easy. "I feel very proud, I have such a sister, who told you not to have it?

At that time, I had never heard of a phrase called "another me in the world." ”

Later, when I was watching a Japanese drama, I saw it. Everyone was engrossed, and only when I looked at these words, tears were about to fall.

Maybe since then, I have been full of love for everything that is mysterious, beautiful, hot-blooded, and warm.

Because in the world of cosplay, I am a peerless celebrity, a king.

I can also be a woman, my lost sister, Ke Ai.

The rich relative came to choose someone in the fifth grade of elementary school. I didn't know at the time what their arrival meant. I watched them talk around my sister all the time, and asked her if she was the Young Pioneer Captain and if she was the first in age. My sister nodded timidly. They asked her to perform another show, and her sister praised a Xinjiang dance, which made them smile.

At that time, the grandfather was already very old, squinted, sat on the sidelines, smoked, and said, "Every child has every child's life." As long as they're all doing well, that's fine. After saying that, he gave me a meaningful look. I didn't understand his eyes at the time, but I remembered this scene in my heart for many years.

Later, they wanted to come and talk to me. I watched them warily and hid behind my sister. As their hands touched the corners of my clothes, I let out a scream, rushed into the house, and closed the door.

I don't know what else they discussed.

In those nights, I always saw my sister secretly wiping her tears alone. I asked, "Sister, why are you crying?" Did they bully you? "Because in those days, they always took my sister out to play. Don't take me.

"No ......," my sister sobbed, "They are very good to me, they buy me a lot of things, and they also buy a lot of health products for grandpa!" Do you know that those things are expensive? ”

"I don't care." I muttered.

My sister said again: "Ke Qian, if I leave one day, you have to study hard and take care of your grandfather alone, you know?" ”

I grabbed her hand and said, "I don't want to be separated from you!" ”

I didn't know that on the day my sister left. By the time I came back from buying rice and oil from my grandfather, her belongings had already been emptied. My sister left me a letter:

Ke Qian:

I don't know if my choice is right or not, but before my mother died, she told me that she must take care of the two of us. Uncles and aunts they are rich and have no children. They want a child.

Grandpa doesn't have much savings anymore, and Mom and Dad don't have much money left. They said that grandpa could not afford the two of us. I'm an older sister, so I'm going to share my worries about this family.

I would be happier if they were willing to take you to the United States. But there is no way now, they must let me go.

Dad once said a poem called 'The edge of the sword is sharpened'. In the future, only by being admitted to a better university and making more money can we and our grandfather live a happy life. America, there is a lot of money.

I'm gone, don't think about me. I will definitely come back, I swear with my life.

Ke Ai. ”

That was the first parting of Ke Ai and I in our lives. That time, I was very angry, I didn't eat, I didn't pay attention to people, for several days, my grandfather was so angry that he arrested me and beat me, and scolded: "Ke Ai can go to the United States, that's the luck of three lifetimes!" Otherwise, I'm a bad old man, with the two of you, what can I do! ”

I cried and even ignored my grandfather.

But how long can I be angry with her?

I began to look forward to it every day, to her calling, to write letters.

But it hasn't.

When the head teacher saw that I ran the school mailbox every day, he comforted me and said, "Son, your sister has arrived in the United States and is not familiar with the place, so where can a little child find a place to write to you and make transatlantic phone calls?" Don't run any further. ”

"Oh."

But at that time, how did I know that this distinction took ten years?

When I was admitted to university, my grandfather passed away. I carried a simple bag and came to the big city of Beijing. Things were a little different from what I had imagined, and when I looked up and smiled at my roommates, they looked at my clothes and simple backpacks, and they were just smiling, neither cold nor hot.

You know, I felt like a caterpillar at the time. Originally in the sun, carefully stretched out the tentacles. Others avoided it in disgust. So I immediately shrank back into the shadow under the leaves.

In the four years of college, I have never had too close contact with 4 people in the same dormitory. I always felt out of place with them, not all the way. They sometimes go to beer, eat barbecues, watch football, and never call me. I'm warming up in my bedroom, or trying on a new set of cosplay clothes and makeup.

They don't like me, and I don't like them.

But I really hate the feeling of being isolated, even though I've been isolated. I make hot water for 4 people every morning, and I clean the dormitory every day. They skipped class to ask for names, borrowed books, and copied me for exams, and I tried to do what they said. I guess I'll be better off in my dormitory. At least not to be looked down upon.

The establishment of the Moon Shadow Animation Club was an opportunity. Jiang Xueran, who is also an alumnus, came to me and said, "Ke Qian, I have seen you perform many times. You are the best cosplayer I've ever seen. We are planning to set up a club, and we would like to invite you to join as the founder, are you interested in working together? ”

I was really unbelievable.

To be respected and needed like this.

"Oh, yes, yes." I said, "I'd like to participate." ”

"Then ......," Jiang Xueran asked, "do you have any ideas and requirements?" ”

I immediately replied, "I don't have any requests." ”

At that time, I seemed to see Jiang Xueran's lenses, and a ray of light flashed. But at that time, how could I see through people's hearts?

A brand new club where everyone has a common hobby. I'm still the founder! For me, it was like the world had opened a bright window in front of me again! I've poured all my energy into the Moon Shadow Society. We rented the cheapest house and I stayed in it 24 hours a day, trying to figure out how to decorate it to look good. Every inch of wallpaper was pasted by myself. I didn't eat for a week, only instant noodles, and went to buy the little monk ornaments that I used to love the most but were reluctant to buy, and put them in the studio; I......

I thought I finally got it all.

Unexpectedly, they are no different from others.

They are also lazy, greedy, and fighting for a share of the prize. They need to rely on me to get the rankings, but they don't seem to want to admit it.

I'm still working hard, trying to get everyone out of costumes, trying to save money just to buy a new set of props, trying to clean every corner of the studio. They even told me to buy breakfast, run errands, and do work...... I'll go.

I just want to work very hard and try very hard to maintain this group and not break up.

But what's the use?

Gradually, they became less and less diligent in coming to the club, and they became less and less kind to me.

Later, I also realized that it was not their problem, it was not someone else's problem. It's my problem.

Everybody's like that, so I must have a problem. Just like Wen Xiaohua said, I'm too unrealistic, too evasive from responsibility, and too submissive and impersonal, right.

……

"No, Aqian, it's not your problem. Even if everyone around them does that, it's their fault. ”

She said this to me, in a gentle and patient tone: "What's wrong with having dreams, being serious, working hard, and being kind to everyone? It's that they don't know how to cherish and cherish a wonderful person like you. ”

I looked up at her and tears almost fell from my eyes.

Just like the first day I reunited with her.

Such a beautiful and excellent Ke Ai, Ke Ai looked at me apologetically and gently. She was literally right in front of my eyes.

She's so stupid and keeps saying I'm sorry. How could I blame her? In my heart, she and I have always been the same person.

Those three months were the happiest time I ever had. Ke loves her so well, kind and smart. She took out all her savings, and some of them were supported by her adoptive parents to start my own business and start an animation company.

As long as I'm with her, I just stare at her, see how she gestures, watch how she talks. She's just perfect. I couldn't help but imitate her even when I was alone in my cabin at night. Sometimes, like when I was a child, I would pester her to exchange clothes with me, exchange identities, and even attend a class for her. I wore a silk scarf to cover most of my face, and then pinched my throat to learn from her. Her classmates didn't recognize any of them.

And occasionally, when she comes to my cabin, I will change her into a cosplay costume and put on makeup. She's so beautiful, more beautiful than me.

I was afraid that everyone would think too much, so I didn't say that the money belonged to my sister. I said that there are venture capitalists who have taken a fancy to our community and our past realization. I think that will definitely give people more confidence. And that night, they seemed to be moved by me.

I thought everything was going in a better direction.

I thought that I could finally live a life that only lived for my ideals.

……

I stood outside the window that night and cried and cried. I watched as Ke Ai lay motionless on the ground, watching them put her in a woven bag. I just feel that my eyes can't see the stars in the sky clearly, and I can't see the ground under my feet. How can life be like this, and how can people become so unrecognizable?

Ke Ai, Ke Ai, such a beautiful and pure girl.

How could you have lost your life on such an ordinary, quiet night?

I felt like I was in a dream.

But I was so cowardly. I covered my mouth to keep myself from making a sound, and in the corner outside the house, I watched them carry Ke Ai's body and walk away. Because I know that if this moment appears, what awaits me will also die.

It turns out that death is so easy. Right next to you, right in the ugliness of the human heart*.

……

I washed the floor of the wooden house over and over again, and used the method I learned online, washing pig blood, ketchup, and so on, until Ke Ai's blood was completely blind. I cut my fingers again, leaving my own blood in many places.

……

Later, I sat in front of the mirror and handed the hair in my hand to the hairdresser.

The barber was startled: "What is this for?" ”

I replied, "Hair extensions." ”

The hairdresser's face is a little unpleasant. But after I gave him a few large bills, he didn't say anything, and carefully picked them up one by one.

I looked at the person in the mirror, and my black hair grew like a thought.

I used an eyebrow pencil and puff to trace her delicate eyebrows.

I took the lipstick and applied it gently.

I looked up and smiled shallowly at the hairdresser.

The hairdresser was stunned.

I picked up my bag, put on my lady's coat, and walked out into the drizzle.

I put on a silk scarf to cover my neck and half of my face.

The heel of my shoes is crisp, the rain flows around my feet into a stream, look at my graceful figure, look at my red face and white hair, look at me with a dagger, look at me......

Finally no longer succumb to the world where dreams have long been shattered.

I looked up and watched the sky finally clear after a break from the new rain.

I smiled so happily.

Ke Qian, I'm Ke Ai. I am back.