After waiting all day, I didn't see the orange come back, so I put its bowl in the cupboard, and then put away the shoebox that was barely used. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

Everybody's gone......

I thought about it for a long time before I decided to be a man, and in the end I couldn't leave because Orange couldn't leave, maybe Lemon didn't think that it would open the door and leave by herself while I was asleep, right?

Since I can only be a woman, I have to accept the reality, anyway, in addition to the pressure from my family and society, it is easier for me to be a woman than when I am a man.

It's just that I have to face it alone, which scares me a little...... Maybe it could be a test for me......

I bowed my head and went back to the bedroom, and the first thing I saw was the pillow, but except for a vague black shadow, only a lonely pillow remained quietly.

That shadow is an illusion.

I'm so tired, in the past two days, after getting up today, I often feel that I see Lin Hao's figure, and when I turn my head, I feel like Lemon is lying on the table looking at me.

It's lonely......

All day, I almost didn't do anything, just stupidly lying on the bed to do homework, but most of them didn't, often staring at a question, and then looking at it for more than ten minutes, until my back hurt before I shook my mind, as for whether I was thinking about the topic or thinking about lemon or Lin Hao in a daze, I don't know.

The brain is always in chaos without even noticing, and then it is in a daze for a long time.

It's very lonely, even if I used to quarrel with my dad and was alone in the rented house, I didn't feel this way, at that time, Lin Hao couldn't come to see me every day, and my mother only came when she was free after work, and I just felt bored.

Or are you becoming more and more sensitive and vulnerable?

I always imagined the scene when Lin Hao left, I thought I could be strong enough to bless him, and finally I really left, but I almost couldn't accept it.

Maybe one day, Lin Hao will really leave me, and my family and relatives will also be disgusted with my body and cause me to leave home, and in the end, I will really leave this world alone.

In that case, when I die silently in a corner, no one will find out, right?

No, if I close the door right now and die, no one will find out.

I was in a very negative mood, even thinking about suicide, wanting to smoke and drink and abuse myself, because then I could feel the pain from the inside out, instead of being like the walking dead.

But I can't do that......

Because Lin Hao has always told me that the girls he likes should not smoke and drink, let alone be self-infested when they encounter something.

Although I am not a complete woman, Lin Hao has never said that he doesn't like me anymore...... So I still want to listen to him.

So even if I'm in a bad mood, even if my loneliness almost overflows my heart, even if I'm depressed and confused, I don't want to choose masochism like before.

So I could only look like I was doing nothing, still eating breakfast, lunch and dinner, and asked Mengqi out with an expressionless face, and went shopping with her in the afternoon and bought a bunch of useful and useless small things.

This day seems to be very sufficient, but when I go home and think about it, and then feel the emptiness in my heart, I will feel that I haven't done anything this day, and the only meaningful thing is maybe just stupidly lying on my stomach to do my homework, right?

On Monday, a person walked into the classroom alone, listening to the teacher's lecture expressionlessly, trying his best to memorize all the words of the teacher on the stage in his mind, and ignoring the harassment of the class leader and Zhu Ronghui, he was only willing to rely on listening to the class to enrich his head to the point that he was unwilling to think about anything.

At the end of class, I picked up the language book and tried my best to memorize the unfamiliar classical Chinese and ancient poems, and then the English words.

Occasionally, I hear classmates talking about Lin Hao's departure, and his popularity is always very good, and almost half of the class is talking about it.

But I could only ignore them as best I could, for I was afraid that I would hear the people in my mind who were thinking about it day and night destroying my heart for reading at this time.

But when I had lunch alone in the school cafeteria at noon, I realized that I was abusing myself with my studies.

Tired......

It's not just because the brain is constantly learning, but also because I feel that this way of life is physically and mentally exhausting.

Even if it's just for half a day.

When I returned to the class, I was the only one in the class, and I didn't want to go back because the rental house was no longer like a home like it used to be, but like a prison.

Although there was no one in the class, occasionally looking through the window at passers-by and listening to the noise of students in other classes who did not return for various reasons was at least much better than being at home.

I originally wanted to continue to memorize English, but because of my current thoughts, I felt that what I was doing now was not correct, and I wanted to rely on Lin Hao's departure to motivate me to study hard, but I regarded reading as a kind of abuse without paying attention.

So I lay down and wanted to sleep during the nap, but the cold, which I had neglected because I was concentrating on my studies, made me feel like I was in an ice cellar.

With a long breath, I closed my eyes, trying to make myself fall asleep this morning with exhaustion, so that I wouldn't feel cold.

"Rachel."

An unfamiliar voice suddenly came from the door, and when I looked up, I realized that it was the man who had held my hand at the staircase during the evening self-study last week.

What's it called? This man.

I don't have a good impression of him, because he almost made Lin Hao jealous once, and he seems to want to chase after me, who is a man in the eyes of outsiders, that is, this person may be a.

"You're in a bad mood today?"

He walked up to my desk and reached out to put his hand on my shoulder as if he knew me well, but I dodged him.

So the unknown guy stood there awkwardly and laughed, looking at a loss.

I didn't reply to him coldly, just looked at him coldly, and didn't say a word.

Last week I remembered the man's last name, but now, I can't even remember it.

After all, although this man has had contact with me, he is not deep, and I have asked all the names of the classmates in the class, but the names of the students who are not familiar with the class have only remembered a few names.

I've always had a bad memory.

The guy was finally frightened by my indifference, touched the back of his head embarrassedly, and then left in embarrassment.

Maybe it's a gay suitor who sees that I'm in a bad mood and wants to take advantage of it, right?

I closed my eyes and lay on the table, blowing the breeze from the window.

The body that had been cold in the ice cave no longer felt cold because of the intervention of that person, and under the breeze, I gradually fell asleep.

Maybe I should thank him.

It looks like Lin Hao.

Two last thoughts flashed through my head, and I fell into a groggy sleep.

――――――

It's still a mobile phone codeword.,Try to save the manuscript on the weekend.,Ten days of military training next week.,If the manuscript is not enough, it will be broken.。

If someone reads it, please leave a message, and there have been fewer comments recently...... It should be that I am indeed of poor quality, after all, the phone.