Zhao Yan is a very good person to get along with, I never feel pressure with her, plus she used to be my psychiatrist, and those nightmares that I didn't mention to Si Datong and my mother have not been hidden from her, so it can be said that I have nothing to say to her.

This time, however, I shook my head.

Zhao Yan just smiled, probably she had already unloaded the relationship between us and the doctor and the patient in her heart, so she would not insist on getting an answer, she still calmly chose baby clothes, looking very calm. And I was obviously weak-hearted, and even had a strange feeling that there was a voice in my heart telling me that choosing to escape was a very wrong decision.

My absent-mindedness was quickly verified, and it was a very dangerous one. After I got out of the mall, I walked forward with my head stuffed, and even ignored the red light, until the sound of the brakes woke me up, when the car was only a little more than a meter away from me, Zhao Yan also pulled me back a little at the same time, I always felt that she was looking at me as if she was looking at me, and when she grabbed me, I had already walked a few meters from the side of the road.

"Are you alright?" Zhao Yan looked at me worriedly, and in her other hand she was holding a half-opened shopping guide from the department store, it was obvious that she hadn't noticed me just because she was looking at that thing.

I shook my head, "It's fine. ”

Probably what I need most about a psychiatrist is that I should treat my crankiness.

Some things don't exist without admitting it, for example, when I knew that Zhao Yan, who was only a few years older than me, had become my friend and my stepmother, I had built up a layer of hostility towards her in my heart.

Even for my future brother or sister in her womb, I don't have a good feeling at all.

These days, all I can feel is probably absurdity, and I have to accept it, I am also curious about how Si Datong, who has been in love for so many years, was taken down by Zhao Yan, I don't believe that it is just because she is pregnant, if the pregnancy is useful, Si Chen, who is only half a year younger than me, will not live for more than twenty years with the title of illegitimate child.

I suspected that Zhao Yan was the legendary goblin, and after this mistake, I told myself not to think about it anymore.

Because we were almost hit by a car just now, Zhao Yan suggested that we find a place to rest for a while.

There are actually many cafes on the streets of Tokyo, but they are not as quiet as cafes in Japan, and they are basically overcrowded and not suitable for resting, but some bars that are open during the day are much quieter. For example, Zhao Yan and I often come to this house, she liked to come here when she helped me with treatment before, in addition to draft beer, juice and milk are also provided, the Hawaiian-style bar is not only very casual, even the waiters are wearing bandeau dresses and shuttle between the tables and chairs, Zhao Yan feels that such an environment is easy for people to relax, and I came here again, and I also remembered a lot of memories we have experienced together, at that time I cried and cried at every turn, Zhao Yan patiently accompanied me every time to enlighten me.

I lowered my head, and those fountain memories rushed through my mind.

We sat down by the window, Zhao Yan ordered a cup of hot milk, and I ordered draft beer as I had done every time before.

And this time, when Zhao Yan tentatively asked me about something, I was not as vigilant as before, and of course, there were many things I still didn't want to share. I just told her about Yu Tian, and even I wasn't sure whether to believe or doubt Yu Tian.

Until now, Yu Tian has never admitted anything to me, however, in the face of those accusations, he has never denied it. I know that if he is honest with me, I will unconditionally choose to believe whatever the answer is, but in fact, he really seems to be hiding a lot from me.

It was precisely because of Yu Tian's silence that I couldn't even believe myself anymore.

I had already told Zhao Yan about what happened four years ago, so this time when I told her about my experience since I met Yu Tian again, she just nodded from time to time and did not give a clear suggestion.

More often than not, the psychiatrist is just a listener, she doesn't help me make decisions, she only guides me to make my own judgments.

Zhao Yan asked me, "Actually, in your heart, you still hope that he has never lied to you, right?" ”

I nodded.

"So whatever you've said to him, you're really just trying to get him to deny what you've said, and you've been forcing him to give you an answer, right? There are some things that you don't believe he did at all, but you still insist on blaming everything on him, and you think that then he will deny it and explain it to you. But in fact, he didn't. ”

"Yes."

Zhao Yan's fingers gently turned on the rim of the cup, and my eyes unconsciously followed her, she said, "Maybe things are not as complicated as you think, but feelings will change." ”

I remembered what Yu Tian said to me, he was tired.

"Can I change back then?"

Zhao Yan's fingers stopped, and she looked at me with very helpless eyes.

And at this moment, I was like being wrapped in the cold, I no longer had the strength to speak, I supported my head with both hands, and Zhao Yan stopped talking.

We were both silent for a long time, until her phone rang.

Zhao Yan answered a phone call and communicated in Japanese, probably to determine the time to make an appointment with the hospital for prenatal checkups, just an hour later. I still kept my head down.

Zhao Yan asked me, "Shall I accompany you home first?" ”

I waved my hand so that it was too late. I said, "I want to stay here for a while." ”

Zhao Yan had to promise me, and before leaving, she told me to take care of myself and not to drink too much and not to think too much.

It started to rain not long after she went out, and the time outside the window seemed to be sealed by the rain, and there were only three or two transparent umbrellas left on the street that was still crowded a moment ago, and the pace of pedestrians was getting faster and faster.

Ignoring Zhao Yan's instructions before leaving, I ordered two more beers, obviously uncomfortable, but as if I just wanted to paralyze myself.

When the last cup was empty, I had a hallucination.

I saw "Yu Tian", he ran in front of me with an umbrella, through a layer of glass, he knocked a few times, and then frowned and entered the door. The waiter walked over, but they didn't communicate well with each other, and finally he threw his umbrella aside and ran straight in front of me.

I knew I was drunk, and drunk people are prone to hallucinations, so when he approached me and grabbed my shoulder, I still didn't forget to confirm with him.

I asked him who I was and what I liked to do.

He said, "You're Sixi, and you like to make trouble for me the most." ”

I grinned, tears rolling in my eyes, and I hooked my hand around his neck, "Why are you here now, I've been waiting for you for a long time." ”

I leaned in and bit his lip, and he nudged me in a low voice, "Let's talk about it later." ”

"Hmm." I nodded, with little strength on the soles of my feet, and hung myself on him as it should. With him, I'm not afraid of falling.

The rain-soaked ground was slippery, and he had to hold an umbrella with one hand and hold me with the other, and it was difficult for both of us to walk on the road.

I asked him how he found me, and he said he had just called me and I told him I was here, and I was trying hard to think about it, but I couldn't think of anything, and I really couldn't remember if I had answered the phone.

I wanted to tell him the address of Si Datong's house, but I couldn't explain anything.

Finally he sighed and stuffed me into the taxi. I leaned on him and listened to him communicate with the driver in English.

Hee-hee, he is fluent in English and has a good pronunciation. And the driver is Japanese, and his crappy pronunciation is completely compared to the crack in the ground.

I leaned over and hugged him and kissed him on the cheek in reward, "You're so good." ”

The driver probably saw our intimate movements in the rearview mirror and asked, "Hotel?" ”

The pronunciation of Japanese is not exactly the same as English, and "Yu Tian" probably didn't understand, so he didn't answer. I just tilted my head forward and replied, "お願い" (please).

I admit that I am a person who has no discipline, and every time I am willing to admit that I really like Yu Tian, and I like it so much that I want to have everything he has, including skin to skin.

From the time I chose to escape, maybe even I didn't know about myself, I was really waiting for him to come to me, and it didn't even matter what explanation there was, if he would come to me, I didn't need an explanation and I was still willing to believe it.

It was probably after the car started that "Yu Tian" understood what we had just said, he pulled me to his side, and was about to speak, but I turned my face directly to close his mouth, and my hand was not honestly wrapped around him.

He finally didn't say anything.

It took less than ten minutes from the café to the hotel, we went to open the room close together, just like TVB's Hong Kong drama, we started kissing when we entered the elevator, until we got to the room, I didn't even have time to turn on the light, I kissed him hard, and then was pressed on the wall by the anti-guest.

"Si Xi ......"

He called my name, and his voice was very low and a little hoarse. I closed my eyes tightly, and my ears felt like they had been swept away by the tide.

(Many friends don't look at Fanwai, but it is recommended that the first few chapters are best read ~ Because the current Fanwai and the main line are already interactive~ For example, here you may guess that "Yu Tian" is actually Lin Yue, but if you look at it together with the previous chapter, you will feel that it is different, because the previous chapter is also Lin Yue#¥#%#嘛~ It will feel more profound when you watch it together?? Run away with the lid on your head)

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