When I woke up, I also wished everything was a nightmare.

It was only half a month after I left Japan, and I was already visibly tired from those days, and after a routine medical check-up after returning home, I was interviewed by the doctor alone.

The intern in front of me was my old classmate, and more than five years ago, we were still sitting in the same classroom, and now, I am his patient. He read the report with an understated expression and then told me to relax and cooperate with the treatment.

Does treatment work?

He lowered his eyes, avoiding my gaze.

I grabbed the medical certificate and tore it to shreds. That night, I received a text message from Si Xi, read it several times, stretched out my hand, as if I could still pinch her face as before, and finally pinched a handful of air.

I didn't want to be miserable like the terminally ill male protagonist in a Korean drama, so I looked coldly at the computer screen to find a cure. However, before that, if I could, should I ask Si Xi to put me down a little bit.

In case it is a bad outcome, I don't want her to face it with me.

Because I have food allergies, not only food, but also many drugs can cause allergies, and the first stage of treatment was not smooth, although the condition was temporarily controlled, there was no sign of improvement.

One late night after that, I heard a man's voice on the phone of Si Xi, she was very nervous, I actually completely believed her, but I didn't know what to say. She really changed a lot, put me at ease, made me feel distressed, and left me at a loss.

When Sixi returned to China that time, I was not on a business trip, but went to G City to try a new treatment, and in order not to let them know, I removed my mobile phone card in those days. When I returned to Beijing, I saw Si Xi's message, she returned to China, I called her side but turned off, Lin actually told me that she was going back to Japan, and I was in the T2 terminal and she was in T3 There is still some distance, when I arrived, she had already passed the border check, a meeting that was not a meeting, I waved at her, told her that there was a chance next time, of course, I also noticed Song Qing standing next to her.

I am not familiar with Song Qing, but Google confessed that he once introduced Song Qing to Si Xi, and I remember that he always ran to Si Xi's house for a while. Although she explained her relationship with Song Qing to me on the phone, I didn't respond. In the past six months, my condition has become serious again, and I deliberately snub her, I don't know if she will notice it or be sad.

Si Xi returned to China for the second time, and she made an appointment with me early, but I missed the appointment.

Because Taylo, Cheng Jiajia's son, my baby. That day, he suddenly fell ill with a high fever, and he cried and insisted that I accompany him.

Cheng Jiajia was my high school tablemate, she liked me, and I liked her, but it was between friends and classmates. And in the days when Si Xi first went to Japan, Cheng Jiajia and I had an unexpected time. It was also that time that it became a knot in my heart, and many times when Si Xi asked me if I had lied to her, I couldn't answer at all, of course, I didn't know that my answer at that time would cause more misunderstandings between us.

Three years after the incident with Cheng Jiajia, I met her on the street once, and she was holding a child.

Well, it can't be my child, right?

Actually, the child was only a little over a year old, and later Cheng Jiajia told me that she had a boyfriend after that meeting in the United States, and they had a good relationship, but a year later her boyfriend died in the tsunami, and she found out that she was pregnant, so she decided to give birth to this child. But she never dared to tell her family about it. So when she returned to China, she entrusted the child to me to take care of, and I became the godfather of that little boy, his name is Taylo, and he has called me dad since Taylo can speak, neither I nor Cheng Jiajia can bear to refuse. So, I call him baby.

Taylo happened to be next to me when I received Sixi's call, he was five years old at this time, and his voice calling my dad was very clear, and I was sure that Sixi would hear it. At that moment, I suddenly didn't want to explain this misunderstanding.

In fact, I don't want to leave Sixi because of illness, I just want to face it alone, not with her to face the fear, if it can be cured, I will still take care of her for a lifetime, always by her side, if not, I still selfishly hope that the me in her memory will always be confident. So, I decided to be separated from her for a while. In the first few days, I made excuses not to meet her, and after feeling her disappointment, I asked her to meet, and I remember her habit of going to appointments in advance, and deliberately took Cheng Jiajia and Taylo to the coffee shop we agreed on. Then when we met, I told her not to contact her for the time being.

In a year, maybe my illness will be cured and she will be able to finish her work at the NPO.

Of course, if I hadn't had that luck, a year would have been enough for me to fade out of her world.

Halfway through the agreed time, another unexpected accident occurred that we could not have foreseen. Cheng Jiajia has completed her studies in the United States when she returns to China this time, so she is not ready to go back, sooner or later, Taylo's matter will be told to her family, but her mother has been in poor health in recent years, and she will soon have a major operation. So she was ready to take her time to talk about it, but before that, Taylo's existence was discovered by Cheng Jiajia's parents.

Cheng Jiajia's mother still remembered me, so when she saw me holding Taylo, and Taylo called me dad again, I had no choice but to discuss with Cheng Jiajia, first help her hide it for a while, and even worship a few tables of banquets as an engagement banquet, and wait for Cheng Jiajia's mother to explain to her after the operation.

And this matter was known to Lin Jing, and he told Si Xi again.

At that time, I wondered, will Sixi come back? Actually, I was expecting her to come back, and I didn't want her to be indifferent, but the day before I received her call, I was told again that her condition had deteriorated, and that in the worst case, I had only half a year left, unless there was a suitable kidney source, and I had to spend half a year in the hospital.

So, I could only admit to Si Xi on the phone that I was going to marry Cheng Jiajia.

After that, I quit my job and came to G City again, where I was hospitalized and treated. I never wanted to give up, even if I had one last chance left.

This six months should be the most difficult time, I cut off contact with all of them and counted my life alone in the hospital. However, my condition did not improve, and when I was about to give up, I told the doctor that I planned to go back for a few days.

I know that Si Xi has returned to China, and if it really comes to the end of her life, I want to see her again.

In the apartment, I saw the pieces of paper she left behind. I went to my grandmother's village again, and in that old house there were many of the same things she wrote to me. I'm starting to regret it, I should have come back sooner.

I couldn't get in touch with her, but I saw her on the street.

I stood outside, only across a glass from her, she was standing inside the bridal shop, wearing delicate makeup and a white wedding dress, while Song Qing walked over from the other side, and the happy smile on her face was obvious.

Before Sixi could see me, I ran away. In the two years since I was sick, my health has deteriorated a lot, and after running like this, my face has become more ugly, and I passed out on the side of the street and was admitted to the hospital for a few more days.

I didn't dare to contact Si Xi in those days, I was afraid that she was really going to marry Song Qing.

So after I was discharged from the hospital, I went to Google's house, and I knew that my face was not very good, and I was not surprised by his surprised expression when he saw me. When Google went out to answer the phone, I saw a pink card on the coffee table.

In the corner that was exposed, Song Qing's name was vaguely seen. And the time and place of the wedding are clearly written, only the bride's name happens to be covered. Remembering what I saw outside the bridal shop, I lowered my head and smiled bitterly, it must have been her.

I told Google that I still had to go beforehand, and he hung up in a hurry to catch up, and I got into a taxi before he caught up.

Wedding......

She's getting married, and she can finally be happy.

The wedding was held in the city of n, I hesitated for a long time, and finally wanted to go and see, it was already noon when I set off, I remember the time of the wedding, it should not end until four o'clock in the afternoon, and it should be able to catch up. It's just that I didn't know, it was raining rain in N City, so the wedding was held in advance.

When I arrived, the entire venue was empty, with flower petals and colored stripes scattered on the floor. I walked step by step to the center of the venue. Imagine Si Xi standing here not long ago.

The bride was very happy, she must have laughed. Could a high-nosed, blue-eyed pastor recite a series of vows to her and ask her if she would like to? Then how did she answer, will she hesitate, or because she is nervous, her tone is trembling. Sister-in-law** My affection is deep

I even wondered if she would think of me at that time, whether she was angry with me and Cheng Jiajia, or sad, whether she would be shaken for a moment.

I shook my head, I hope it is like this, and I don't want it to be like this.

Continue to think about Si Xi's appearance, she should have blushed at that time, she was so good-looking, and other girls must be very envious when they looked at her.

After that, it was supposed to exchange rings, I lowered my head, smiled wryly, and took out a necklace from my shirt, and there was also a small ring hanging on it, which I had prepared two years ago, if it wasn't for my illness, maybe this ring would have been worn on her finger a long time ago.

I took the ring off and pointed it into the air, as if I could pinch her hand, but when I let go of my hand because I thought I had put it on, I saw a silver trail in the air.

After all, it was still in vain.

- Yu Tian