I didn't do what I wanted in front of Yang Jin, so when she wanted to talk about the dusty past that had been sealed for a long time, although my heart was surging, I didn't dare to light a cigarette to relieve it. And Yang Jin didn't look easy, she frowned, looking at the sea that flashed silver in the evening, occasionally seabirds swept over the sea, chirping, as if breaking the tranquility of the entire sea area.

After being silent for a long time, Yang Jin shifted his gaze to me, and then said to me: "I guess you also know the reason why I divorced your father back then...... Other factors are not fundamental, and in the end there are such and such problems between us, or because we can't escape the taboo of not being right at the door, but until today, almost 30 years later, I still don't regret the choice of just for love and ignoring nothing...... It's just that the most sorry thing in my life is you, the son who was left in Nanjing by myself. ”

I have a strong premonition, as long as I want to know in my heart, Yang Jin will choose to tell me this afternoon, I just need to listen quietly.

After Yang Jin paused, he said: "After divorcing your father, my earliest plan was to take you abroad to develop, but I was not ruthless enough, and I met your grandmother the night before leaving...... She won't let me take you away. She said, you are the only bloodline of their Jiang family, your father's reputation was already bad before he divorced me, and it is not easy to marry and have children in the future, so I want to take you away, which is equivalent to cutting off the incense of the Jiang family, and in the end she even knelt down to me...... Looking at her as an old lady with inconvenient legs, I really couldn't bear it, and finally chose to leave you in Nanjing, and went to Shanghai alone, ready to make a transition there...... During this time, I never planned to go back to Shenzhen, but what happened later forced me to choose to go back to Shenzhen, and finally gave up the idea of going abroad and started a new family there. ”

"What made you change all your decisions?"

Yang Jin looked at me, even though she was already a woman who had gone through the world, there was still a trace of imperceptible pain and regret in her face. She replied: "It was only after I went to Shanghai that I found out that I was pregnant with another child...... It wasn't as forgiving as it is now, and you can imagine how helpless I was in that strange city at the time. I have no way to have a stable job, I can only take a temporary job like a translator to make ends meet, but my stomach can't deceive people, if I want to give birth to this child in Shanghai, I can only find an underground clinic, but this is too risky, I can't let the child accompany me from the moment of birth on the adventure, not to mention that even if I give birth to this child safely, there is no way to get a household registration...... So in desperation, I had to go back to Shenzhen......"

When Yang Jin said this, he closed his eyes, as if he had experienced that unbearable period of time again, and my shock had reached the point of no return, so that his voice trembled a little and asked, "Is that child Yang Qu?" ”

Yang Jin nodded.

At this moment, I feel that all my cognitions have been subverted, Yang Qu turned out to be my own sister! And behind the truth that Yang Jin has hidden for 20 years, what kind of helplessness and compromise are there?

I think that Yang Zonghuai, who is regarded by Yang Qu as his biological father, is a key figure. I tried to calm myself down, and then waited for Yang Jin to continue to unravel the truth for me...... I think this is one of the reasons why Yang Jin has not been honest with me until now. Because my heart is no longer in a state of being out of control at any time, now I am more willing to substitute myself into that era, and then think about the feelings of the parties with a wait-and-see mentality, rather than denying everything in this world in an extreme way.

Yang Jin continued: "After returning to Shenzhen, I went to find your grandfather, in his eyes I was a sinner who made the family unhappy, but I always had a family relationship with him that was thicker than water, and during the most helpless period of my life, he still fulfilled the responsibility of a father and chose to shelter me...... He had a proud protégé named Yang Zonghuai, at that time the signs of my pregnancy were not obvious, he asked me to marry Yang Zonghuai, and then give birth to the child safely, and give the child a reasonable name, otherwise I can only choose to have a miscarriage...... From an adult's point of view, I was undoubtedly lucky to have the choice I had in that situation, and if the other party had not had certain political intentions, I am afraid that he would not have chosen me, a divorced woman with a child...... So, we got married under this tone of mutual exploitation......"

Speaking of which, Yang Jin, who is so strong that people look up, clearly has a trace of tears in the corners of her eyes, and I, who also have a bumpy fate, can empathize with her mood at that time......

I finally lit a cigarette in front of her for the first time, and then said to her with a heavy heart: "I can understand your compulsion and hardship, but this is not a reason for you to leave me alone in Nanjing. ”

“…… You can't get in touch with this circle, and you don't understand how important reputation is to the people in this circle, there is your grandfather's face, and Yang Zonghuai's career, I have a contract with them...... For the sake of your sister, I can't break this contract under any circumstances, once this matter is poked out by someone with ulterior motives, you can't imagine how much shock it will happen...... Bridge, please allow Mom to call you that...... I didn't really bother to ignore you. After giving birth to Yang Qu, I went back to Nanjing once. Before that trip to Nanjing, I made up my mind that if you were not doing well, I would find a way to send you abroad anyway and hire someone to take care of you...... However, after meeting Zhao Chu's parents of the child, I changed my mind...... Because, I see that you have integrated into their family, and you are very good playmates with Zhao Chu and Zhao Mu, if you are wishful thinking to send you abroad, leaving you without relatives and support, and having to adapt to a completely unfamiliar environment, is it really cruel and inhumane...... That time, I was relieved to hand you over to them, hoping to repay their family's kindness when your grandfather stepped down from his post and everything was calm, so I never came back after that time...... But I didn't expect it...... There was such an accident in the back! ……”

Yang Jin was already a little choked up when he said this: "I'm for a child...... but deeply hurt another child he loved deeply...... It's the stupidest and most helpless thing I've ever done in my life...... Mom doesn't ask for forgiveness, she just hopes that you can let go of this past and live well. Just like the tulip road you love the most, now it has also said goodbye to the dusty past and is beginning to rejuvenate itself, although this change will sacrifice some things, but it is generally good because it brings more living space to the residents of this road, isn't it? ”

I got up and stood by the handrail of the balcony, and then looked at the sparkling sea in the distance under the rendering of the setting sun, and gradually I felt like a new person, it turned out that this is how it all happened......

I suddenly thought about Yang Qu, thinking of this sister with the same father and mother, I seem to love her more than before, I want to give her everything I can give...... Because she's so cute, so playful, so amusing to me.

Since Yang Jin's original decision brought her to me, what is my pain?

I smiled, finally turned to face Yang Jin, and then whispered back, "I understand...... If my life is an endless story, you are the most painful person in this story...... I won't think about the past anymore, the last thing I want to know is Jiang Jiyou's whereabouts, where did he go? My grandmother once told me that he went to Shenzhen to find you shortly after your divorce and wanted to save the marriage, but he never came back......"

Yang Jin closed his eyes and shook his head, and only replied after a long time: "I don't know, if we could meet at the beginning, he made me feel determined to change my mind, I would have turned back, because this family is scattered, and I am more uncomfortable than anyone else...... But like you, I haven't heard a word about him all these years......"

I felt an indescribable sense of loss in my heart, and finally I just looked at the sunset that was about to level with the sea level, and sighed......

Yang Jin also got up, she looked into the distance with me, and then whispered to me, "I have a request...... I hope you can keep Yang Qu's background secret from her...... I'm afraid she won't be able to accept this fact for a while. She's not like you, she's not mentally mature, and I'm worried she'll do something impulsive. ”

"I understand."

Yang Jin nodded, and after a moment, with a little tiredness, he said: "After a day's journey today, I'll find a hotel to rest for a while, and then wait for your seafood to eat in the evening......"

After getting my affirmative answer, Yang Jin turned around and walked towards the Huandao Road in front of the seafood restaurant, and I just watched her back go farther and farther...... But my heart is becoming more and more calm.

This calm didn't end until Jin Qiu came to me with a huge net. When I came back to my senses, I took out my mobile phone from my pocket as soon as possible, and then found Yang Qu's WeChat and sent her a message, telling her that I love her very much and miss her very much......

I never thought that I would become so numb, but I did just that, and I even planned to go back to Shanghai with Jin Qiu tomorrow, if nothing else, but to see her again after my mentality had changed dramatically......

I don't know why I have this mentality, maybe it's out of a sense of loss and regain, because after my grandmother left, I always felt that I didn't have that kind of pure relatives around me, but now it's different. I saw another life because of the truth brought by Yang Jin, although it was not perfect, but it was warm, which made me especially want to get close.

...