Thinking about it day and dreaming at night.

Dreams can be used for fun, at best.

At worst, it's easy to take reality for granted.

In the middle of the night, Xuanyuan Mingyue suddenly sat up from the bed, seemed to be wheezing, sat for a while, understood his situation, but touched his face, suddenly spit out, seemed to think of some picture, and suddenly hid in his bed shyly.

The next day, the red-eyed Xuanyuan Mingyue, when he got up early, saw Wang Jian again, who was in good spirits, chatting and bragging with the three fat men.

"The Ferris wheel is a good thing. He's round, well, sit up from the bottom position, and when he reaches the highest point, it's basically the highest place in the city, standing on a high place, with an unobstructed view, well, at this time, the clever boys, will find a way to spend money to hire people, set off fireworks, do all kinds of romantic things, express love to girls, this kind of moment, is also the most touching moment, what to say, anyway, at this time, there are few girls who don't agree. ”

The three fat men seemed to be very yearning and said, "Is it fun?" ”

"It's fun, it's definitely fun, haha. ”

Wang Jian didn't say much.

Xuanyuan Mingyue's face turned red again.

She hadn't been on a Ferris wheel, but she knew what it was.

Ferris wheel.

Although she also knew that this kind of human beings on the earth were extremely wasteful of resources, and they were simply to create a terrible place to scare themselves, they really didn't know that the Ferris wheel could play like this.

Yes, showing off your happiness to the whole platform of the world is really the happiest thing for a girl.

That's why, girls say no, but in fact they don't have resistance to a large bouquet of flowers.

Pretty flowers?

Wrong, how can flowers be as beautiful as her.

The most important thing is that walking on the street with your arms can be shown to others, especially those envious and jealous bitches.

Therefore, the core of the women's economy is not how good things are, but how to make a woman show that she is superior to other women.

Showing off is to express one's advantage in the wrong way (sometimes even the subject does not know that he is not an advantage, for example, showing off not only does not mean that he is rich, but reveals that he is very low). Expressing one's advantages should be everyone's survival instinct, not expressing advantages can not achieve social superiority status, not to obtain the favor of the opposite sex, but not all expression advantages cause other people to resent it, for example, accepting authoritative media reports, itself is a way to widely express advantages, but basically no one thinks that this is showing off so that most people are disgusted, but if you are in your circle of friends in one acre and three points of the sun like this, in fact, others are not unable to do some small things, small things, travel or something, I can't wait to jump and say that I am really a cow dead, rich and dead, most people feel that this is showing off and is mostly disgusted。 In the final analysis, showing off is to express the advantage of survival and then obtain more survival advantage, which is a manifestation of the incorrect and relatively easy realization of this reasonable psychological way.

Vanity is something that everyone has, so I'm going to tell you one thing, and that's that proper vanity doesn't need to be dealt with at all. What is proper vanity? First of all, your vanity does not affect your life. Life impact refers to whether or not you will make yourself too anxious or stressed out to satisfy your vanity. At this point, think about what it means to you to satisfy your vanity. Secondly, vanity does not affect your relationships, because some people will tell a lie in order to satisfy their vanity, or when they can't be very sincere with everyone around them, it will affect your relationships. So if vanity doesn't affect relationships, if it doesn't affect your life, you don't need to deal with it.

I don't think it's about men or women, vanity is also a kind of motivation to move people forward. Now, due to the popularity of some poisonous chicken soups, some women's comparisons have to exhaust all the strength of the people around them to be satisfied. It is easier to obtain a female comparison, exhausting the family's money to buy a luxury car, anyway, someone repays the loan, and the car is much cheaper than a house. Most men need to earn it themselves, and a lot of daily expenses are endless, and they will not spend their hard-earned money extravagantly. The restraint of material desires is taken to the next level. Of course, if you inherit a lot of property or are gifted or have a lot of resources, you can't talk about squandering it to others, it's just spending within your ability.

To be free from anxiety is to have reasons to be confident that you can accomplish your goals. Happiness is one of them. Of course, people live to be happy, and if you are already happy, then this is also a kind of proof. What's more important than having fun? Happiness is mainly related to your state of mind. But today I'm going to talk about another aspect.

Why should people be anxious, because you can't prove that you will live well. If you already have a way to prove that you can do well, then of course you won't be anxious. For example, if you have a lot of money but your desires have not changed, this is the most straightforward state of not being anxious. But it is really difficult to get a proof, so people usually choose all kinds of simple ways to deceive themselves. Comparison is one of them.

Among so many kinds of proofs, comparison is actually the most useless. For example, if you drive a BMW and watch a Ford, does that prove that you have a better future? Actually, no. Although BMW owners are on average richer than Ford owners, this statistic doesn't make sense to you. Because you already know who you are, the indicators are set, and the statistics are no longer helpful to you. If you mention an LV bag, you must be able to do better than someone who doesn't? Of course not, the principle is the same.

But many times you don't have any other better way to anesthetize yourself, so some people will choose to spend a lot of money, buy a BMW, buy a LV bag, be glamorous, and live a poor life. Of course, I'm not saying that people who buy BMWs and LV are necessarily like that. These two propositions are not mutually reciprocal propositions. A few years ago, there were people who cut their kidneys to buy iPhones, and the reason is the same. Will the person with the iPhone have to live better than the person with the Nokia? But you have a very expensive thing in your hand, which can anesthetize yourself to a certain extent, please don't be so anxious.

However, not being anxious cannot be bought with money.

However, it is not so easy to achieve a complete non-comparison. Because competition is indispensable. Competition will have a result divided into high and low, and those with good grades will get more benefits. However, not all comparisons will constitute competition, and comparison refers to this kind of comparison that does not constitute competition. There is no substantial benefit to you than winning, all you get is anesthesia for yourself.

It's like breaking up and going for a drink, you're not trying to fix the problem, you just want to feel less miserable. Therefore, some people choose to compare in order not to feel so miserable and not to think about how to really improve themselves. Comparison is like taking drugs, and the pleasure of taking drugs is difficult to maintain. If you win against this group of people today, and tomorrow you will be defeated by the better people, because they are really rich. In the end, you will only gain frustration and thus more anxiety.

If you can control yourself from the beginning, you'll be safer. This security is guaranteed because the threshold of your comparison is not raised, and you are more likely to be met. If you are aware of this, then your anxiety should be reduced a little bit as long as you don't compare.

People will also carry on this kind of thing to the next generation, for example, they must let their children study in Beijing and so on. Even if you enroll in extracurricular tutoring classes, the nature of the college entrance examination determines that as long as you have no difficulty in receiving ordinary education, the range of improvement that can be improved by tutorial classes is quite limited. Because in the end, it's up to you to learn.

Of course, if you can take the college entrance examination in Beijing, then the difficulty of going to a good school is relatively low, but this comes back to the question of comparison -- if you go to a good university, you must be better off than the people in the upper good university? Of course, in a statistical sense, this is the case, but unfortunately you already know who you are, your indicators have been set, and the statistical results are no longer helpful to you.

Realistically, what major you study can change your future even more. If you graduated before the CS tuyere in the past, you may be more comfortable in the future than you are studying CS at a university of technology in Guangdong. But this comes back to the question - will you be able to live a better life if you study a fire major? This is obviously not necessarily. The world is changing, and when you fill in the volunteer, this major is good, and you can't say for sure when you graduate.

Of course, all of the above is not to tell you not to work hard, not to investigate and make choices. I'm just making one thing clear on the anxiety level - as long as you still use these straightforward indicators to anesthetize yourself, it's useless. What you need is something more substantial. People don't want to live their lives like games. When you were in elementary and middle school, because the evaluation system was relatively straightforward, you may have developed a habit that as long as you complete one goal at a time, you will become more and more superior. But when you go to college, it's a different story.

But by the same token, if you worked super hard in high school and ended up in a very desirable university, but now that I tell you that it doesn't mean anything that you got into this university, you may feel angry and want to contradict me. Why? Actually, you're comparing these things to the rest of the world. You are trying to simplify the proof that you will be doing well in the future, so as to anesthetize yourself and temporarily reduce your anxiety.

Again, I'm not saying that getting into a good university isn't useful, but do you know what makes it so good? You have to be more specific, a little more microscopic, to know what is good about this university for you, why you want to choose this and not which of two similar universities, and two similar majors you want to choose this and not that. In this way, you will be able to refine your proof, not only will your anxiety be more steadily reduced, but you may also have a more detailed life goal for which you will come up with some steps that look very reliable, and give you more confidence that you will be doing well in the future. That's the solution to anxiety.

Don't simplify your goals, the details of your goals need to be reasonable and complex in order to really make a difference.

If you have developed a comparison mentality for a long time, it may be painful at first. But as long as you quit this from today, the benefits will show up later. At least understand him very bluntly - you don't have to spend so much money, you can use it to invest in yourself and do more and more useful things, so that you can really live a better life.

Comparison is a proof, and the plan of life is also a proof. As long as you believe this proof, your anxiety will naturally decrease. But comparisons often prove to be unsustainable and destructive. So if you feel anxious, don't do something right away to make your life better, you should analyze your own problems. There are specific questions that I may have written about before, but in general, you should use your brain well and actually do something meaningful, rather than choosing anesthesia. Anesthesia is the simplest, and the least useful.

Comparison is because life has no direction and life has no center of gravity. There are many people who are comparing, which also shows that most people actually do not have their own lives. Try to build your own life. There's no time to compare.

Comparison is another kind of motivation. What needs to be controlled is the degree, not the comparison itself. Some people are born to be strong, so don't force yourself to be indifferent, you can be strong and dazzling, there is nothing wrong with being a little aggressive, there is nothing wrong with having a little aggression, there is not such a sentence, your kindness needs to be a little sharp, and the comparison itself has a sharpness, you don't have to deliberately grind it off. And then everyone compares, not just themselves and others. For example, my mother's cooking today seems to be better than yesterday's, and I seem to be a little more beautiful (handsome) today. At the beginning, comparison is just comparison, and comparison is a skill that everyone has to learn, so everyone will compare, from social status, talent and knowledge, to the taste of a meal. In fact, it should be noted more that degree. It's okay to compare, but if there's a problem, make comparison the only way to make yourself happy and confident.