I only feel that in work and study, I am better than one person; Or in my career, I earn more money than anyone else, and I am considered excellent. It is problematic to get happiness and self-identity only from comparison. Because the happiness brought by comparison is only a part of life, I don't think it is unacceptable, it feels very cool to surpass others, otherwise why do people like to slap their faces and counterattack now.

Xuanyuan Mingyue suddenly touched something, but immediately stopped, but stomped her feet, remembered something, and suddenly said viciously: "I can give it to you, but I have to wait until I have it...... Child...... Hmph, I'm going to test you again!"

But how to test it, it is beyond Xuanyuan Mingyue's ability and experience, she racked her brains, it was just a few earth TV series she had watched, and there were indeed ways to test men on it, but they were basically limited to the routines of various idol dramas, basically money, or the heroine claimed to pretend to have cancer and other routines, which were really boring, and there was a lack of conditions for them to be displayed here.

In other words, a woman in love is irrational, but this is only for the right man.

As Wang Jian began to master the warehouse of the spaceship reserve, as well as more categories of production workshops, more dishes could be eaten, although the meat was only the best chicken with grain to meat, but it was also better than nothing, and the variety of vegetables was rich, Wang Jian's identity as a member of the big foodie empire was also proven, after all, as the director of the county party committee office, he had eaten and seen, compared to the so-called aristocratic Xuanyuan Mingyue, it was not simple.

Xuanyuan Mingyue naturally knew that Wang Jian kept asking about his origins, and naturally it was also the information of his own family, but he still answered truthfully, and at the same time kept asking Wang Jian.

Civilians.

Wang Jian's parents are from a very "low" background, which makes her a little disappointed, but after thinking about it carefully, she is relieved, but she still has to hold it on the shelf.

However, when Xuanyuan Mingyue realized that something was wrong, her waistline was already fat.

Of course, this made her very uneasy, and she began to complain about Wang Jian, who kept cooking food, and her intimacy also made her feel frightened.

Wang Jian also continued to comfort, and then, he found the cloth and helped her make clothes, during which he naturally had to keep contacting and asking, and when Wang Jian felt satisfied and the data was collected and sorted out, Xuanyuan Mingyue's face was already flushed with shame.

Of course, there are remedies.

Fitness.

Yoga is actually just fooling children, and there is no scientific basis for this thing, but many women can think that it is good for the body?

Because of yoga, maybe it's good to spend a lot of time drinking, singing, and squandering your body to squat.

However, in the middle of the night, Xuanyuan Mingyue couldn't help but feel itchy.

These things, she couldn't help but think about it too much, that day she excused the bed was uncomfortable, but she asked Wang Jian and the three fat men to move the bed in another room over, and tried it, and at the same time looked at Wang Jian, she was not sure, what Wang Jian thought of was what she thought of.

Rogue.

Let's not talk about these things for now.

But how can this kid not come over.

Suddenly, Xuanyuan Mingyue had such an understanding.

I don't seem to have brought nice clothes, and I haven't maintained or put on makeup recently, right......

However, when some of our ability defects are despised, ridiculed, insulted and infinitely magnified by the outside world, the inferiority complex at this moment will gradually escalate, and even manifest itself in deformed forms, such as jealousy, anger, self-deception, etc., thus rising to the "inferiority complex".

The so-called inferiority complex refers to "the manifestation of a person who is at a loss when facing a problem". When the accumulated inferiority complex evolves into an inferiority complex to cope with failures and setbacks, people's first reaction is no longer how to face and solve it, but is overwhelmed.

The acts of anger, tears, or apologies we see can be a sign of an inferiority complex. These individuals who often cry and complain to arouse the attention of others, as well as those who are excessively shy and guilty, are more likely to have low self-esteem than the general population. At work, when they find that they have some shortcomings or that their work is not going well, they will feel helpless and uncomfortable; in interpersonal relationships, they are more sensitive in their hearts, and they are very concerned about criticism, ridicule, negation and other negative feedback from the outside world, and even react pathologically; in life, they will feel cramped and uneasy when the people around them have a bad impression of them. Many individuals with low self-esteem complexes tend to be shy, prone to inner loneliness and overthinking, all of which are not voluntary.

"Self-confidence and low self-esteem" is the norm for most people. We are often confident when we are in areas where we are good or have strengths, and when we are in situations where we are not good or disadvantaged, we are often inferior. Here, it is important to distinguish between two concepts: "inferiority complex" and "inferiority complex". Low self-esteem is a normal emotion, and it is often temporary. If it can be treated correctly, it will not have much negative impact on the psyche. If you compare life to a sports meeting. Then there will be countless competitive events in this Games. It is impossible for a person to come out on top in all projects, and it is inevitable that he will be at a disadvantage in some projects, and as a result, he will have an inferiority complex. If the inferiority complex continues to ferment, it may become a long-term, unhealthy psychological state. Under the influence of this psychology, people habitually self-denial. When we talk about inferiority, we often mean inferiority complex.

People with low self-esteem tend to overestimate how much attention they have. There is always the illusion that one's shortcomings are being exposed to everyone's gaze. I am afraid that others will discriminate against me because I am ugly, I am afraid that others will discriminate against me because I am poor, I am afraid that others will discriminate against me because I am not good enough, and I am even afraid that others will discriminate against me because I don't know why...

People with low self-esteem tend to feel lonely, which is determined by the privacy of low self-esteem. Because low self-esteem is not something to show off, when people feel inferior, they tend to remain silent, or even deliberately cover up their inferiority complex. So, it's hard to know how others really feel. In fact, even if you are honest and bold enough to take the initiative to reveal your inferiority complex in front of others, it does not mean that others will also open up and show you their inferiority complex. And in order to hide our low self-esteem, sometimes we deliberately show emotions that are the opposite of inferiority. For example, people with low self-esteem because they are poor tend to show off their valuables, while people who have low self-esteem because of their careers tend to show that they have succeeded in their careers. "What is missing, what will be deliberately proven", this is the truth. So, most of the time, we can't see whether others have low self-esteem or not. If we can't see it, we assume that others are not inferior, that we are special, problematic, and lonely.

As mentioned earlier, if life is compared to a sports meeting, then there will be countless sports in this sports meeting, and it is impossible for a person to be good at all sports. The problem is that people with low self-esteem always focus on sports that they are not good at. I always habitually compare my own shortcomings with the advantages of others, feel inferior to others everywhere, and cannot see my own value. This is one of the sources of low self-esteem. They have forgotten the simple truth that no one is perfect. You're not as handsome as him, but he's not as tall as you, and you're not as good at painting as him, but he's not as good at singing as you. Although we should not compare ourselves with others everywhere, we should not abuse ourselves with the advantages of others. It's like being on the battlefield, you hold a bunch of scraps of brass and scraps to fight other people's sophisticated weapons, and you feel bad when you lose.

People are born with the ability to contrast. When a child has more toys than you, when a classmate's grades are better than yours, and when the blind date's income is higher than yours, you will clearly see the gap, and this gap will make you dissatisfied with your current situation. The reason why we are dissatisfied with the status quo is because people are target animals, we need to constantly find new goals for ourselves, and every time we reach a place, the first thing we think about is where to go next. From this point of view, inferiority is our dissatisfaction with the gap between ideals and reality.

Therefore, inferiority is actually our nature, and it is also the source of motivation that drives individuals and the entire human race to move forward. If we never feel inferior, we will never have the motivation to progress and change. Although dissatisfaction with the status quo makes us sad, anxious, envious, and even jealous, these emotions are nothing more than giving us a stronger motivation to achieve a better state. When we are better than others, we have a sense of superiority, which is a reward for our efforts and an addictive pleasure. Throughout our lives, we are constantly switching between superiority and inferiority to make ourselves better and better.

But in some cases, the impact of low self-esteem on us may be magnified. For example, when you see that your classmates' grades are better than yours, you will feel a little ashamed, but then your parents will jump out and blame you, saying that you are not angry and have a dull brain. At this time, you feel not only a little ashamed, but ashamed, aggrieved, angry and anxious. In order to make yourself less upset, you may really believe in your incompetence and sluggishness, and give up chasing after you, or resist angrily, argue with your parents, or secretly curse people with good grades, or deny the value of your studies and grades altogether, or attribute the reason to external reasons such as your parents not having the money to hire a tutor for you.

When we are hit by non-points, we enter a state of protection. We forget to grow and improve, and the only thing we want is to regain what little superiority we have left. Unfortunately, many people have too many fools in their families and growing up who consciously or unintentionally suppress us, they think they are helping us, but in fact, after years of torture, our shrinkage gradually becomes a habit. Therefore, today, when you see that you are inferior to others in any way, you will instinctively protect yourself by evading, justifying, denying, blaming, etc. Doing so is nothing more than maintaining your self-image, not changing the shortcomings that should have been changed, and not convincing others that you have become better. It won't take long for you to find that because you don't dare to face the real problem, the gap between yourself and others is getting bigger and bigger, and you don't know how to change it. This is called the inferiority complex.

Entering the inferiority complex is often because of the fear of inferiority. Imagine you're driving down an unfamiliar highway and you're reminded by signs and signals on the side of the road that the road is impassable. At this point, if you turn around, you will feel that you are a road idiot and have no sense of direction, so in order not to feel stupid, you will keep driving until you finally reach a dead end and find that there is no way out. Low self-esteem is one of those signs on the road of life, and their meaning is not to deny your driving skills, mind or the meaning of travel, but to suggest that it is time for you to change direction.

If we don't know the pain, we will drag our broken arm around, if we don't know fear, we will stupidly walk through the speeding traffic, if we don't know that we are tired, we will work endlessly until we die, and if we don't know inferiority, we will make the same mistake countless times and never repent. Many of the things we fear are actually our allies, and most parents and teachers are too stupid to see this, so they mislead us. Learn to be friends with low self-esteem, and don't even mind if this friend steals a little bit of your superiority. Although you have to pay some price, this friend can tell you a lot of important things.

When we see confident people, we always fantasize that they are particularly perfect and lack nothing, but in fact people who have low self-esteem but at the same time maintain a humble, positive, and practical spirit are self-confident. No one can be 100% confident, and when anyone has low self-esteem when it is triggered, the most confident people I have ever met are more than happy to admit their mistakes, accept failures, face criticism, and then think about how they can do better. Such people are terrifyingly self-confident, because nothing can break their confidence and will to change.

Many of the emotional discomforts caused by low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence are not caused by themselves, but by the long-term rendering and construction of our culture. Culture makes people have many frustrations and bad associations with low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence. The core cultural construction is "people who are not confident and have low self-esteem, are not competitive, and are ultimately losers in life." "Culture uses linear logical thinking to define such a state of mind, in fact, many states of mind are a kind of human emotional ability, which is random and adapted to the environment. Another cultural construct is that "people with low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence are unhappy and unlovable." These constructs solidify the natural state of mind into a self-defeating state of mind, so that everyone has to hide it, or avoid it, adding a lot of inner anxiety.