I sat down on the floor completely deflated, and then lowered my head, feeling extremely weak in my heart. It seems that I am really too late, she has already left Nanjing, and at this moment she is flying to a certain country on the other side of the ocean.

She's too closed and too free. She closed off my right to know and set her own body free. So I can't keep her who wants to leave, she downplays the love or not love relationship between us too much. She thought that everything I had now was something I couldn't give up.

Yang Qu squatted down beside me, then poked my arm and asked me, "Brother, are you going to explode?" The whole airport is looking at you! You see, even the curly dog outside the glass door has managed to attract your attention......"

She joked because she didn't know the pain in my heart. So my heart became even more hollow, my world seemed to be snowing heavily, and Xiao Ai was wearing a brocade hat and mink fur walking in front of me, I could see her smile clearly, but I couldn't touch her at all.

I finally looked up at Yang Qu, and there was a wave in my heart, so much so that it took a long time to say to her, "You know what? You've already been an aunt......"

"What?"

I replied in a voice that only I could hear, "I had a child with her...... I don't know if it was a boy or a girl, but she couldn't keep the child......"

Yang Qu looked at me with wide eyes and asked, "What did you say?" …… What the hell is wrong with you and Xiao Ai, why are you looking for her all over the airport like a madman? ”

I gasped for breath as I stood up from the ground and looked around the airport, hoping that one moment I would see hope.

After looking at this for a while, a ground crew member came to my side and said to me: "Mr. Jiangqiao, my colleague just checked for you, and your friend had already left Nanjing on an international flight at a quarter past four, and you were too late!" ”

My heart sank in an instant, it turned out that Xiao Ai had already boarded the plane before Ji Xiaowei and Yao Yu found me. And I sat at the school gate for about two hours. I wasted our time in such luxury......

Holding on to the last shred of hope, I asked the staff, "Can you tell me which country she went to?" ”

"I'm sorry sir, this is not within my purview, and we are obliged to keep the information of the trip confidential for our guests...... Can you think of another way? ”

I don't want to embarrass a staff member, I know better than anyone else what it would be like if I knew which country she had been in. Just like a foreigner who comes to China, if he only wants to be alone, who can afford to find him in such a big country?

At this time, Yang Qu, who had been listening to me, finally figured it out, and she sighed to me: "Oh my God, you haven't gone to Shenzhen yet, she left Nanjing first, no wonder you looked for her at the airport like crazy, but didn't you call me before to tell me that you must go to Shenzhen with me?" But looking at the way you look now, you don't look like someone who is going to Shenzhen at all...... Can you tell me, what the hell is going on? ”

……

Outside the terminal, the darkness has enveloped everything in the line of sight, but all kinds of lights are desperately piercing the night, gradually brightening the starry sky that cannot be touched in the distance...... And I was in this environment, and told Yang Qu the truth about what had just happened, and after listening to it, she didn't speak for a long time...... She seemed to finally understand my mood at the moment.

Another plane, taking off from front of us with a loud roar, also broke the silence between us. Yang Qu finally opened his mouth and said to me: "Brother, you definitely won't go to Shenzhen, right?" ”

"Well, I've got to find her, she must still be in touch with her agent...... She hasn't completely said goodbye to the entertainment industry yet, so it's impossible for her to completely let go of things at work. She left this time because I was going to marry Jin Qiu, she didn't want to be too sad, and she didn't want to make me sway, so she chose to escape ......"

Yang Qu, who was optimistic by nature, also looked at me worriedly at this moment, and only after a while did she say to me: "I have no objection to you going to her, but do you have any ideas in your heart now, how to face our mother, Sister Jin Qiu and her parents...... This is not something that you can do with a few explanations, because you decide to change not only the fate of you and Xiao Ai, but also to choose life again with them. Especially Sister Jin Qiu, she can't marry you, so who should she marry? It's been a few years of youth that have been delayed! ”

I didn't speak, but I weighed it all in my heart. I am very painful, presumably Xiao Ai chose to fulfill it precisely because he knew my situation. In her opinion, since we failed to save that child, there should be no more such painful entanglements between us. Children are the cause and the final effect between us......

At this time, Yang Qu said to me again: "Brother, I don't dare to go back to Shenzhen, when I think of being your microphone and telling them your decision, I tremble nervously, how can I face their angry and disappointed eyes?!" …… Otherwise, let's lie again and drag it out for a few days......"

My heart sank first, and then a burst of blood welled up in my heart. I shook my head and said to Yang Qu: "Compared to Xiao Ai who has survived by himself for more than a year, what is my current situation...... " After a pause, I looked at Yang Qu again and said: "Don't worry, I won't let you take the blame for this matter, I'll call Jin Qiu now to make it clear, I can't marry her in this marriage...... I'm willing to bear whatever the consequences...... I'm not someone who can't afford to fall from a height...... The saddest part for me is that this time I have to live up to Uncle Jin, who is kind to me. The saddest person should be him, Jin Qiu may not be sad! ”

"What about our mother? And how are you going to deal with her? ”

I was stunned for a moment, then asked her rhetorically, "What would you do if one day, she also objected to you being with the person you loved?" ”

"She can't control me, and I don't have as many ...... as you!"

I shook my head, and then replied, "If you want to talk about shackles, I don't have stumbling...... For so many years, I have survived on my own, and my bond is only because I don't want to hurt others...... But this time, I have to live for myself, even if it costs someone to hurt......" Speaking of this, I smiled, and then said: "Yang Qu, can you also see it...... If it weren't for so many things that have happened in the past two years, my children are already two years old, and they should all be calling Mom and Dad! ”

Yang Qu looked at me, and finally nodded back, "I understand...... Compared to others, you and Xiao Ai are the ones who are the most hurt. Even if you are a little selfish now, you should be forgiven! ”

I let out a heavy "exhalation" before I said to her: "So you can go to Shenzhen with confidence, I won't escape this time, even if it's a landslide!" ”

……

At half past eight, Yang Qu and I said goodbye at the airport. After she left, I stayed alone in the open space outside the airport for a while, I saw several flights taking off and landing at the airport, but I still didn't want to die, I imagined that she would suddenly appear behind me, and then hugged me like a warm wind, telling me that she didn't leave, she couldn't bear everything in Nanjing, and she couldn't bear me.

But fantasy is just fantasy after all, and she in reality is getting farther and farther away from me...... I only hope that when she arrives at the destination she wants to go, she will not be in the lights of thousands of homes, otherwise she will really miss everything in Nanjing...... Because, I've experienced this feeling before. The moment I stepped off the train alone, my eyes were full of flickering lights, but none of them were lit for me, only the wind ruffled my hair, the rain drenched my mood, and every cry of the vendors seemed to tell me how lonely I was......

So, I complained about her even more, isn't it really bad to stay in Nanjing? I don't need her to be so entangled, I just need to go to a roadside stall together, and then face the scorching lights together!

Thinking and thinking like this, I suddenly realized that I was already facing the lights of these thousands of homes alone. At this moment, no matter how big my house in Nanjing is, no matter how much deposit I have in my bank card, the only one who can accompany me back to Tulip Road is myself, and even my soul has been freed, so what is painful and confused here is only my poor **.

I just looked at the starlight and lights in the distance, my heart was cold for a while, I took the phone out of my pocket some mechanically, and finally dialed Jin Qiu's number......

After a while, Jin Qiu connected, her tone was still as steady as ever, and she asked me, "Why did you call me at this time, shouldn't you be on the plane?" ”

"I can't go to Shenzhen...... Jin Qiu, maybe you hate me, or maybe you don't care, but I have to tell you that we can't get married. ”

Jin Qiu on the other end of the phone was silent for a while, and I also heard my own rapid heartbeat, after saying these words, I couldn't face Jin Qiu calmly, because I had promised her marriage in Lianyungang. Even at this moment, I have a million reasons, but after all, I have broken my promise.

Jin Qiu finally opened his mouth, without much emotion, and just said to me: "When Yang Qu pretended to be sick and insisted on leaving you in Nanjing, I already knew that this would be the result...... It's not that I can't accept your decision, but I hope that after you end the call with me, you can call your mom and my mom and dad to let me know. Let them know that it's your unilateral decision that we can't get married...... If you find it difficult to speak, you can send a notification. If they ask me, I will tell them that I respect your decision and do what you want in life...... Okay, that's the end of my words......"

"I see what you mean."

"Hmm."

Jin Qiu didn't speak again, nor did he hang up the phone, and the last person to hang up the phone was me. Then, I entered a state of disregard, I found the recent call record with Yang Jin, and then pressed the dial button.

I knew what the consequences would be, but the trip to Shenzhen they had decided to make me had to choose. At this moment, I have only one belief, I want to find Xiao Ai, I can't let her live in the pain of self-fulfillment with great grievances.

I will tell Yang Jin that she was pregnant with a child for me, and I am not particularly selfish, but I can't live up to this affection. I also want to see if Yang Jin will be heartbroken when she learns the news that the child is not saved. Because that's also her grandson or granddaughter...... I don't expect her to understand me or fulfill me...... I just want her to know that a desperate love will feel more warm and heartwarming than the sense of security that a complete family brings!