"You think I'm in love with you, and I want to be beautiful. I'm not in trouble, no one knows about the communiqué's personal vendetta, and the leak is just to say to Taishang Laojun, and now I have been beaten by Sun Monkey, and I have been provoked by God, goose, I don't die quickly.

As soon as I was depressed, I was hooked by your old eggplant, you think I am happy, I am doing my duty. "If the Buddha said his heart coldly, there was no way to let the Queen Mother eat his cucumber.

"Don't you say every day that I'm not here? It's been thousands of years, maybe it was you at the time, I always liked to play with you when I was a kid, I remember the hell. When you bite into an egg, you can't change the chicken leg (that's my mother's vocabulary.) Will you die if you change your mind? "The Queen Mother cried, God God can't see it, other high gods have families and rooms, get a Buddha, but it is a person who dies and does not die, you have to be entangled with women, this does not want the life of the Queen Mother.

"When I was a child, among my peers, I was still a little girl at the age of seven or eight, but you were tall and fat, and you wore open crotch pants like everyone else, I was always embarrassed to squat in front of you to play, and I also liked to play with peeing and soaking chicks.

I've watched you disgusting since I was a child, just like people who like to freeze their hands in winter, always rotten and turning purple. Others are just a sour jujube, but you are already a peach, but you don't know that you have grown up! Now come and wrong me, I'll buy your account. "If the Buddha thought that the Queen Mother was different when she was a child, she was the same age, but there were many more places than others, so she looked more like an adult, but her mind was still the same as that of a child, but the quantity had changed but the quality had not changed.

Sure, the Queen Mother is a bitter child's family, and she eats coarse tea and light rice, only long in quantity but not in quality.

"Besides, I remember when I was a kid, I just wanted to be too good and wore open crotch pants. I especially like to play with you pee-pee-soaked little M chicken M chicken. You don't wear open crotch pants the same way, and you often pee into my mouth when you soak the little M and M. I remember helping you with my hands! If you don't obey, I'll drag you, you let me get this thing casually, and now it's a baby? Earthly! "The Queen Mother still vaguely remembers the time when she was a child with the Buddha. I just don't remember how I lost my keep?

"Goose! You were so much better than me when you were a kid, and I was going to do it? At that time, I didn't even know what the hell this thing could do besides being used to pee? , on my head! "The Buddha is still with an iron face, not admitting that he had been the queen mother when he was a child. She is responsible for the loss.

"Even if you are a place, falling in love with you is only a one-time thing, and your brain will not turn? Now even if you die, you can't go back to the age of virginity! There is a female dog in the back mountain Orion family, and the river is fishing. "The Queen Mother is dumb, it's better to be beaten to death than to be angry.

If the Buddha heard the queen mother scolding herself for fishing in the river in this world, she was angry and had to add a zero, and she was angry for thirty. Picking up the fishing rod, he slashed at the head of the Queen Mother, and the goose caught the leaf fish that ate the hook.

(The term dog and virginity came to mind when I was eating lunch.) Thought. If the dialogue between the Buddha and the Queen Mother can be a hundred sentences, but at least one of them must be remembered. Where did this crown jewel come from? People are fucking bastard animals, and they want to be beautiful and beautiful, so why don't dogs have a place and beauty in them? ）

When I caught a fish, the Buddha's anger was like a person hiccuping, and I couldn't stop if I wanted to, and suddenly I saw a beautiful sister, and this hiccup followed my sister's beauty.

The Queen Mother saw that the Buddha was busy making hooks and fish. I hurriedly helped to move my hands, and did not forget to take the opportunity to shake the legs of the Buddha with a slight shaking of the elbows. Deliberately provoked the explosion of the hormone gas. In fact, it still relies on Chen Yuanyuan's incense powder to play a lot of roles, plus the hair rubs on the nose of the Buddha, only three times five divided by two, the Buddha does not know the southeast and northwest.

"Didn't you say wait for you to eat the fish? The turnip had just been planted. I'm afraid of how many roots? Seeing that the Buddha was hurriedly untying his trouser belt, the Queen Mother smiled from ear to ear.

"After eating fish, I planted fairy radish and urea! Lie down and die? "If you come to the Buddha, what do you want me to say about you? It's not like the mother is ugly. Or does the dog not miss the poor family? Or are you in a hurry to be pretty?

Night! In the gradual deepening to the point that you can't see the five fingers. A temple that no one came to disturb, so dilapidated that you could lie on a couch and count the stars.

"Said you would wait until you ate the fish and then dry it, and now you die?" This is when she woke up from sleep, the Queen Mother suddenly remembered the promise of the Buddha, and gently pushed the Buddha who was sleeping more than a dead pig with her hand.

"You are like a dog for 3,000 years, and a pig for 4,000 years, shameless!" If the Buddha loves to ignore it, he said.

"Forget it, you'll have a holiday tonight, and when you're as strong as a rhinoceros, you'll honestly work overtime and watch you become a ghost?" It makes sense for Niangniang to say this, she secretly raised a lot of soft-shelled turtles in the small pond in front of the temple gate, and when the soft-shelled turtles grow up, they will use soft-shelled turtles to boil soup for the Buddha to eat every day, and see your spirit disappear to the underworld?

"You still want me to be as strong as an ox, and I'll try to thin me down like a monkey, and see if you can still burn my firewood?" This is life, two people who are tired of being bodhisattvas, returning to the ordinary world of Lu Yao, the night is too long, and there is nothing to say.

"If I were Guanyin sleeping next to you, would you still think of losing yourself into a handful of firewood? Is it because it's to avoid doing stupid things? Honestly, don't lie. The Queen Mother said as she wanted to reach over and pull the chicken swelling of the Buddha, but she had to bypass half of her fat belly and couldn't reach it.

"Of course, I want to be strong as a bison. It's like eating, eating candy until it's sweet to death. Eating is just a matter of survival. "If the Buddha really told the truth, no one will eat as sugar, it is all caused by being forced to be helpless, and it has really come to this point.

"There is no turning back in life, why didn't you entangle Guanyin at that time? The B is indeed beautiful, and it is also very flexible. You blame the ghost! "The Queen Mother also told the truth, and I really felt a little sorry for the Buddha.

"This is a sin. At that time, when I was about to stretch out my hand, I heard that Guanyin and Taishang Laojun gave birth to Sun Wukong, so angry that I went to Jiuhua Mountain. As soon as I heard that this product had been, I devoted myself to cultivating immortals. "If you come to the Buddha, this is the truth.

"If you are not Guanyin, you won't marry?" Seeing that the Buddha said the truth, the Queen Mother was touching the melon along the vine.

"It's not to pull down, it's just that my social surface is too narrow, and I can't touch something as beautiful as Guanyin, and I can't always arouse people's strong pursuit. That's not where it is today. Eat the life of old pickles! After saying this, the Buddha did not forget to grab a handful of the queen mother's ambitions, just like playing with a slingshot when he was a child, and alluded to the words of the old pickles. Truly. The queen mother's ambition has become Zhu Bajie's ears!

(This novel is comparable to describing the king, and at the beginning it is written that Helen is so old that between her ass and her legs becomes a triumphal arch.) And the ambition has become an old spider in the middle of the cobwebs in the old house. ）

"The ghost wants you to be careful, Guanyin and Taishang Laojun were born to Sun Wukong is a cow B in the air, and they have no direct relationship." The Queen Mother was sleeping as she spoke, and she first gave up half of her seat near the Buddha. Then first hold your belly with your hand to the side of the Buddha, and then turn your back to come, this is the way the fat man turns to sleep, and it must be the power of the two tigers.

"This is also a strange thing, and the devil knew it at the time. At that time, I thought that Taishang Laojun put a green hat on my head, and I was so ashamed that I ran to Jiuhua Mountain with my pants, so I wanted to wait until I had cultivated the Tao and then came to find Taishang Laojun to settle the accounts after the autumn.

Later, the dog was too lucky, so that people couldn't find a stubble to punish him. Later, when Sun Wukong stole the immortal peach, he took the opportunity to say that he had violated the rules of heaven, and let the Rulai Divine Palm that I learned in Jiuhua Mountain use it for personal vendettas. Crush him under the Five Fingers Mountain for five hundred years. Anyway, they are father and son, the purpose is to make him sad, and the ghost wants him to Guanyin's B, which will make my life unpeaceful. "The Buddha said truthfully, just like on Sunday, close your eyes and recite the memories in your heart.

"Didn't you run into a ghost, and put Sun Wu in prison for five hundred years. This child is really pitiful, he has not been raised by his mother since he was a child. I haven't eaten a drop of my mother's milk, so it's no wonder that it's always a handful of firewood. The Queen Mother thought a little bit of Sun Wukong as her own son. He was also planning to have such a cub, even if it was a monkey.

"There is no wrongs in the world, and there are no prisoners in prison, which is a matter of course. Can you blame me? Definitely. This sentence is a little against the will of the Buddha, he used a turn to admit that he was wrong, but he still managed to make people understand that he was admitting that he was wrong.

"If you say that someone else did it, you are just an accomplice, and you can admit that you are not to blame. If you get into trouble, it doesn't matter to you? "The Queen Mother is pulling a few eggs of the Buddha with her hands, which means that the person and the egg are not the same person?

"I admit that it broke the law and had something to do with me. Let's say it's a thief and I'm a harborer, and I stole something worth a million, and I only gave the thief three hundred dollars! You're a genius when you compare a thief to an egg. Is harboring a crime more serious? "If the Buddha doesn't understand the law, but judging from his comparison of the law, the crime of harboring is definitely heavier, because he doesn't give a lot to thieves, or there are different kinds of fools among the thieves, so they have to be sentenced according to the spoils.

"If I were a judge, cutting this thing off would be equivalent to killing the thief, would you still harbor the criminal?" The Queen Mother was also pinching with her fingernails when she said this, meaning to cut off the thief's head.

"Without the thief, I, the harborer, still have an egg, and without an economic foundation and economic source, it is equivalent to having no source of happiness, not to mention that dogs eat, that is, the right to eat is deprived." If the Buddha thought to himself, it seems that in the future, he should pay attention to his thief, and teach it not to steal royal treasures (here it is implied that pay attention to your own few points and don't cause problems B, steal a chicken, touch a dog is still okay.) ）。

"Get to work!" The Queen Mother stretched out her hand to pull the body of the Buddha, and according to the convention, the Buddha took advantage of the situation to pull the saddle and get on the horse. But no, today he thought of something else, or his mind was enlightened.

"Don't dream, I've never put my true feelings on you. I'm going to look for Guanyin tomorrow, whatever, even if I kneel, I'll kneel in front of her, and beg her to let me fuck it! When the Buddha said this, he had a rather heavy crying tone.

Not being able to see doesn't mean that you can't witness whether a person is sad or sad, the Queen Mother understands this. She stretched out her hand and put it on the bosom of the Buddha, and felt his heartbeat, which really tasted like a child crying until he finally fell asleep, and she could feel that if he was standing, he was crying and his shoulders were shaking. If this can not be counted, the Queen Mother put her hand on the eyes of the Buddha again, and let her touch the tears.

"It's not promising, and I'm really sad for the egg. It's better to persuade you not to go, because you are a wave of unsettled waves, Sun Wukong is still chasing you, God has been injured by you again, and you have already reached the point of counting the sins.

If you can really find Guanyin, you ask her for it, and she doesn't give it, if you are strong, you will have to die. Don't say that there is still a god in the world, even Zeus, the king of heaven, will not let you go, and your Nyorai God Palm can still fight his almighty thunder scepter? "That's what women are like, when they see tears, they have compassion, and the Queen Mother is really still sad for the Buddha.

"Death is death, I think about her all the time!" This time I really cried out, what I wanted to get from three thousand years of cultivating immortals, I have been stuffed in my heart and have no chance to say it, and now I am lying in the arms of a woman I don't like, in this long and leisurely night talk, such as the rainy season is finally too long and the water is overflowing, the golden mountain bursts, and the three-thousand-year-old turtle finally surfaces.

The Queen Mother also cried, knowing that the Buddha is a master who bites the egg and can't change it with a chicken leg, and this is not before Guanyin was engaged to the king Zeus, and it was a matchmaker made by herself, can the king Zeus let it go? Can you know that you don't care? The great pressure made the Queen Mother cry sadly because she couldn't do it, and she also cried because she was worried about the excessive attachment of the Buddha.

"You've been thinking about her?" Again, the Queen Mother wanted to ask with certainty.

"All the time!"

"Then you haven't been ...... with me these days," the Queen Mother still wanted the Buddha to continue to be happy with herself.

"It's all fake!" After saying that, the Buddha took out an egg-like thing from under the pillow and put it in the hand of the Queen Mother. (To be continued.) )