I put the phone aside and took out a can of beer from the convenience bag and drank it, my mood became more and more lost, but I couldn't even find a reason to comfort myself, let alone how deeply I hurt Li Xiaoyun, and my father and mother, I can imagine what kind of mood they are in at this moment, for them, the late night is also sleepless.

The mobile phone rang again, it was still Le Yao calling, her persistence made me helpless, and finally connected the phone, and then said patiently: "I have really had dinner, can you eat by yourself?" ”

Le Yao choked up and said to me: "Zhaoyang, I know you are in a bad mood, you must have given up a lot for my affairs, right?" ”

"You think too much, you just go back to Suzhou, at most you think you've never been back to Xuzhou." I said that because I was bored, I subconsciously took a cigarette from the cigarette case and lit it.

"Then you come out to eat with me, I'm really not in the mood to be alone."

I was silent for a long time and finally agreed to Le Yao's request, because I didn't want her to see my downfall, and then I had a psychological burden, but I was really tired of forcing a smile after meeting, and this was the main reason why I refused to have dinner with Le Yao at the beginning.

……

Regardless of the bitter cold of deep winter, I took a hot shower in the small hotel, and then walked out of the small hotel with my wallet, but I didn't want to be seen by Le Yao, who was already standing across the street waiting.

She trotted up to me and stared at me, but she was silent for a long time.

I snuffed out the cigarette in my hand, put my hand in my pocket because of the cold, and said, "Aren't you going to eat, let's go." ”

"How did you end up in a small hotel?" Le Yao asked with red circles in her eyes.

Subconsciously I thought that women were born to be rubbing, but I didn't expect Le Yao to arrive at the agreed place before me, only then did she see me walking out of the small hotel, looking at her, and found that she didn't apply powder, but just wore the simplest sports down jacket, no wonder she arrived before me.

I avoided the important and said, "Find a place to eat first." ”

Le Yao nodded meekly with tears in her eyes, and then the two drowned in the crowd side by side and walked along the street to the front.

I just wanted to eat casually on the street, but Le Yao insisted on stopping a taxi and asked the driver to take us to a high-end Western restaurant.

……

In the western restaurant, listening to soothing music and the sound of running water in the fountain pool, my nervous feelings were finally relieved.

Le Yao lowered her head and ate, and didn't talk to me all the time, but I didn't have any appetite, just drank a glass of red wine.

Half an hour later, Le Yao finally finished eating, her expression was gloomy when she looked at the food I hadn't touched at all, and she asked me in a low voice for a long time: "Zhaoyang, going to Suzhou this time must make you very embarrassed, right?" ”

"There's nothing to worry about, you don't have to worry about it."

"And what about your girlfriend, didn't she say anything?"

I was told by Le Yao that it hurts, but I had to endure the pain and say, "It's nothing, she supports my decision." ”

Li Xiaoyun did support my decision, provided that I also lost the love I had with her to get married.

Le Yao asked again: "Then why did you live in a small hotel alone?" ”

I finally got annoyed and said with a displeased face: "Le Yao, do you know why I don't want to go out to eat with you?" I really don't want you to ask this and that endlessly...... Whatever the consequences of this matter, I have already chosen, so all your doubts now are meaningless. ”

Le Yao didn't say anything more.

I said to her, "When you go back to Suzhou this time, you will first ask Robben and CC to help you take care of the bar, and I will rush over as much as possible, and it may not take a week." ”

"Well, Robben has been singing in my bar for free for a month now, and I feel sorry for him...... Zhaoyang, if there is a way, I won't look for you, I know it will make you very embarrassed! ”

Le Yao's words made me feel inexplicable, sometimes life is so cruel, it doesn't give people a choice at all, and life is so involuntarily.

Leaving the western restaurant, we walked on the cold street by the light and shadow of the street lamp, I was still smoking, and Le Yao looked at the end of the street a little blankly.

I don't know how long I walked in a lonely posture, and finally returned to the hotel where Le Yao lived, and we were going to be separated for a short time.

I said to Le Yao: "Go back to the hotel and rest early, and I'll send you tomorrow morning if you have time." ”

"No, my train at ten o'clock, you were already at work by then."

"Well, then pay attention to yourself on the road, there are too many people on the train."

Le Yao ignored my advice, and said to me with tears in her eyes: "I'm really too ignorant, I should listen to your advice, I shouldn't open a bar, I hurt myself and you!" ”

I gently patted her shoulder and comforted, and said, "Don't cry, people will definitely do wrong things in their lives, the important thing is how to make up for mistakes after they are wrong, and I will accompany you through the difficulties." ”

Le Yao threw herself into my arms uncontrollably and sobbed: "Zhaoyang, you lost a qiē for me today, and I will definitely compensate you twice as much in the future." ”

I held Le Yao's shoulders and let her leave my arms, and said to her with a serious face: "Remember, we should never say the word compensation between us, just like the slap you received for me, have you thought about asking me to make amends?" ”

Le Yao shook her head and said, "I don't want you to make amends, this is what I willingly do for you." ”

"So, going back to Suzhou is also something I willingly do for you."

……

After sending Le Yao back to the hotel, I walked alone on the street, and then walked past a platform in front of me, which was the small hotel where I was staying, but now I don't want to go back, although the world is cold at this time.

I sat on a stone bench in front of the railway station square, lit a cigarette and watched the people in front of me in a daze, at this moment these people who walked by me have a brief intersection with me, but the next moment they will all take the train to go in all directions, there will be no intersection again, but their lives will go on, full of joy and sorrow in the continuation.

Therefore, no one will live a peaceful life, and a life filled with sorrow and joy is a secular life.

I took a deep breath, I finally extinguished the cigarette in my hand, and couldn't help but look up at the sky, where is that crystal clear city, I have traveled to Suzhou, Xuzhou two cities, whether it is looking up during the day, or looking forward to the night, I have never seen it again, is this really just a city that has been imagined? If so, how sad it is...... Because the weary mind can never find a place to dwell.

How nice it would be if there was a silver boat at this moment, bending, rocking, swaying, squandering the night, and taking me into the velvety sky......

There is a shift around 12 o'clock.