Wang Yi knew that Fu Wenxin and I were high school classmates, but he paid attention to the rules of the rivers and lakes on a first-come, first-served basis, and sometimes when he saw us together, he greeted me and called me respectfully: "Brother Xiaoyu." Pen @ fun @ pavilion wWw. ｂｉｑUｇE。 ｉｎｆｏ”

For this buddy's infatuation, I am more moved than Fu Wenxin, she always said that if you are moved, then you will be from Wang Yi.

It's a pity that I'm pure and forgive my fate.

In addition to going to the cold noodle shop to catch up with his best friend Mei Ge, Fu Wenxin spends most of his free time studying or walking and chatting with me, and waiting in the library to read books.

We recommended good books to each other, and after two or three years, the school library basically looked through the books that we thought were good.

Wang Yi still never gave up on her, and was willing to play the role of a scholar's follower.

Once when I was reading a book in the library, and the bookmaid was not around, I quietly asked Fu Wenxin: "Yuan Zheng and Wang Yi, you must choose one of these two, how do you choose?" ”

"There's no such thing in the world?" Fu Wenxin looked at the book and said with a disdainful expression.

"Let's suppose that Yuan Zheng and Wang Yi are standing in front of you, and the Japanese devils are holding Oriental knives at your family, and you don't choose their bayonets to stab you. What do you do at this time? ”

Still looking at the book, she said, "This assumption is not true, which Japanese dares to point at the Chinese with an Oriental sword now?" ”

"If the assumption is true, it is not called a hypothesis, let's assume that you travel back to 1944, and if you want to choose, what do you do? Pick and choose. ”

Fu Wenxin finally put down his serious expression, also put down the book in his hand, and said: "I also make an assumption, or the scene you said, the Japanese pointed a knife at your family, there is a stall of pig shit and a stall of dog shit on the ground, you must eat one of them, if you don't eat your family, you will become a knife, you choose, which stall do you eat?" ”

I didn't think this chick was so sharp, so I had to give up and say, "You won, don't play this hypothetical game." ”

A triumphant smile instantly appeared on her face.

The only time in all my years did I cheekily ask her why she liked to be with me, and she said I was cool and funny.

So, during my years in college, I spent a long time trying to understand what "cool" and "fun" meant, but I didn't have time to understand it in the end.

I'm not very talkative and social, bookish, and dismissive of the world, maybe that's what she calls cool.

As for fun, I think it's because I like to live life to the fullest, obsessed with freedom, and don't stick to conventions. For example, in Fu Wenxin's opinion, it was very interesting for us to skip class and go out to play once in high school, and she said that she would never encounter such an interesting thing in her life. It touched me badly.

That time was like this, I took her to the river to play fishing, picked a few mushrooms, and then cleaned the fish, put it in the bamboo tube with the mushrooms and roasted it, after the roast was cooked, the bamboo tube was cut, and the aroma was immediately tangy, and I used to play this outside when I was a child.

She said she had never eaten so much of the delicious wild game, and she asked me why anything I could do could make something simple so interesting.

I said that this is called poor fun, not fun, okay? She said it was just fun for her.

She also said that I was a typical Gemini personality, with one side facing the sun and the other buried deep in the dirt, like a child. However, I never believe in horoscopes, I divide people into 12 types, I am too sorry for my personality, I can only belong to the thirteenth zodiac sign.

Time flies, and sometimes I am afraid of graduation, and she says that what I am afraid of is the loss of innocence.

I was seen through by her.

In addition to writing for Tide, I still haven't given up on personal writing. By the time I was in my junior year, I had 300,000 words in my manuscript. These words come from my soul, and I cherish them as my own children. I call it "drawer literature".

These words are not as bright as Guo Jingming's flowery writings, and they are difficult to publish, but I cannot suppress and give up the desire and right to express them. So, I kept writing.

Wang Xiaobo said: "I see a boring world, but fun exists in chaos. All I have to do is tell the story. And I, pouring my childish thoughts on paper, repeating the old "game science", venting what Schiller called "surplus energy", nothing more.

I did not give up my ideals, and I often recalled the vows we made before we came to Beijing, and I wrote more diligently.

I printed and bound 20 copies of the written text to show my friends, but I didn't expect these 20 printouts to circulate in Beijing universities, and many students from other schools wrote to me after reading them, and some even came to visit the dormitory. As a result, I have made some like-minded friends who love literature and thinking.

Professor Zhuang, who teaches modern literature, is an amiable old man with highly presbyopic glasses, and a black mole on his nose, and a few thick black hairs on the black mole, which adorns his face a little mischievously.

The first time I met him was at a job fair for the magazine "Chao", and he gave me the impression that he was a typical intellectual. He read my text and liked it very much, saying that it had the style of "Little Lu Xun".

Once, when I held a seminar on Lu Xun, he asked me to bring my manuscript and help me recommend it to a publisher.

But the biggest dream of anyone who writes is that words can be turned into lead words, and the books they write can appear on the shelves of bookstores. It's not about money or fame, it's about the dignity and idealism of the writer – it's enough to express yourself and get your voice heard by others, even if it's just for one person to get the benefit out of it.

The seminar was held in a high-end resort in Huai 1 Jou District, and was attended by professors and teachers from universities and social science research institutes, as well as some colleagues from the publishing industry. As far as I am a post-80s generation, sitting with them, my heart is not empty.

Years of reading experience have given me the following enlightenment: reading can not only increase people's knowledge, broaden people's minds, but also strengthen their courage. No matter what anyone says in front of me, it doesn't scare me, that's the power of reading.

The theme of this seminar is Lu Xun's image of spectators, and everyone speaks one by one, which is full of excitement. Finally, Professor Zhuang got up and introduced me to everyone: "This is the rising star of the Chinese Department of the University of Liberal Arts, Zeng Xiaoyu, the young man is brilliant, the writing is old and spicy, powerful, and it is not easy for Mr. Lu Xun to have his own research, and the seniors will give me more advice in the future." ”

The crowd looked at me approvingly.

The host's surname is Feng, his name is Feng Yuqiang, the editor-in-chief of the weekly "New Speech", an alumnus of the University of Liberal Arts, a middle-aged man in his forties, with slightly convex eyes and wide lips, like a frog with a full mind and vitality.

He said: "Now few young people still go to read Lu Xun, so there has been a fault line between the old, middle and young people in the study of Lu Xun, especially there are too few young people, and there is a phenomenon of lack of success. ”

Then, the main Feng Yuqiang asked me to express my views on Lu Xun's image of the spectator.

Without hurrying, I began to describe it in a straight way: "Goethe summed up the artist's relationship with reality as follows: he is both its slave and its master. From the perspective of folklore, Hugo's Paris, Dickens's London, and Pushkin's Caucasus Mountains all have specific folklore, because these cities and landscapes condense the profound social reality and historical content, and are the windows to show the history and life of a nation. Therefore, it is impossible for Mr. Lu Xun's ideological articles to be divorced from the soil of reality. In fact, the 'spectator' is a deformed product of the dual effects of the barren material conditions and the decadent cultural environment of feudal society. ”

"Mr. Lu Xun wrote to Zheng Zhenduo on May 16, 1934, saying: 'It is best not to use the pen. In "Weeds", I once remembered a man and a woman, in the wilderness with knives, boring people went with them, thinking that there must be an event to comfort their boredom...

In general, these 'spectators' are reduced to 'spectators' because of emptiness and boredom. Boredom means both material and spiritual deprivation. How to transcend boredom and find faith in life? Sartre's so-called 'intentionality of life' and Heidegger's so-called 'marginal experience' refer to the dissolution of this boredom and the acquisition of real value in life. ”

"In modern times, the idea of national liberation and independence, the demand for the modernization of conceptual values, and the consciousness of system renewal have become the mainstream ideas of society. Enlightenment thus became the main historical task. To a certain extent, the 'spectator' represents the old feudal society, and the reason why Mr. Lu Xun denounces the 'spectator' is the negation of various bad habits and systems in the old society, and at the same time, the numb and ignorant 'spectator' is also the object of Mr. Lu Xun's enlightenment. ”

"In real life, it is not uncommon to see weak people being robbed and killed on the street, and murderers fleeing in plain sight. In "The Complete Works of Lu Xun", these spiritual crises and moral crises of the masses have been predicted by Lu Xun, and those who want to 'surpass Lu Xun' today should first quiet down and read "The Complete Works of Lu Xun", slowly get closer to Mr. Lu Xun, and then talk about transcendence. ”

"Thank you, teachers, my speech is over, a little naïve, please correct the seniors!"

As soon as I finished my speech, there was a round of applause. Everyone sighed that it was not easy to be so profound and thorough at such a young age, and they came to shake hands with me and greet me.

Professor Zhuang smiled and cast an approving glance at me.

There is a large lake next to the hotel, and the cool breeze on the lake brings the smell of algae and a faint fishy smell. In the afternoon, there was no agenda for the meeting, and the participants went to the lake for a walk and chat after lunch.

Originally, I thought that the gathering of literati and scholars should "talk and laugh with Confucianism, and there is no vain exchange", but everyone is discussing the hottest indecent photo incident and ** case on the Internet, talking about the storm, expressing their opinions, and having different views for a while, arguing about how many people turned the woman in the ** case, and they must bet and swear.

This is a tragic social event, and people with a little compassion should sympathize with the victims and condemn the rioters, but they ridicule with squints, where have the souls of these pathetic sexually repressed middle-aged and elderly people, or the so-called cultural people at the top of this society, gone?

It seems that culture mostly depends on pretending, and it is easy to lose the force of culture, which has been the case since ancient times. Who doesn't like to discuss gossip about sex? Gossip is life; Literature, that is an ideal that is very far away from life.

I can't gag them and force them not to talk about nude photos and the ** case, I can only keep myself from disqualified.

I knew this at a very young age, and the purity of the world had been tainted since the serpent entered the Garden of Eden. At that time, I saw a classmate watching the illustrated version of "Hans Christian Andersen's Fairy Tales", and he said to a classmate next to him, "Damn, these mermaids are all wearing bras, and I really want to rip off their bras."

When a child who is only seven or eight years old wants to rip off a mermaid's bra, this society is already disqualified, innocent, and fragile like the crispy ice cream of childhood.

Yu Dafu, who studied in Japan back then, was crazy about ** and wrote patriotic articles at the same time, but the articles he wrote were still heart-wrenching, and there was no taste of **, this is the literati - sharpening knives and killing at both ends. We remember the brilliance of literature, and we don't have to remember the haze of literati.

Professor Zhuang was leaning against the railing by the lake and chatting with a young woman when he beckoned me over.

There are many young women, but they are women, and everyone who does cultural publishing in Beijing knows the name of this woman. Her name is Wang Zihui, the CEO of Far Eastern Book Media, who single-handedly created China's largest private publishing empire, and is still single at the age of nearly 412, and her maintenance is almost as good as a 30-year-old woman.

When she saw me walking by, her eyes shining like two talking mouths.